Bernard Manning RIP

philstar · 19-06-2007 10:03AM #1

He was a lovely man, a compassionate man, a man who loved people of all races and creeds, who did'nt have a bad word to say about anybody.

God bless you Bernard may you rest in peace..

you FAT BASTARD;)

DublinWriter · 19-06-2007 10:13AM

I heard the news on Radio 4 this morning and suddenly birds started singing and the Sun came out.

Somehow the world feels just a little nicer with him gone.

Duggy747 · 19-06-2007 10:18AM

http://www.comedynightout.co.uk/mediac/400_0/media/manning-finger.jpg

A picture of innocence & subtleness.

As he once said before in BrassEye (Drugs Episode):
"Cake is a made-up drug. It's not made from plants, it's made from chemicals.........by.........sick bastards."

Farewell you fat fùck

popebenny16 · 19-06-2007 10:22AM

Who told this joke:

"I was watching the telly... all those people in Africa living in mud huts... walking miles to the nearest stream to get water... why bother? Just move your mud huts nearer the river... easy..."

That's right, Ricky Gervais.

But he was being ironic, right? :rolleyes:

By the way I have no time at all for Manning, his day and his way of looking at life is dying out, thank god.

dodgyme · 19-06-2007 10:28AM

Ok BM was fat lads. However is the reason here for the abuse ye are giving him because we (irish) were the subject of his 'jokes'.

BaZmO* · 19-06-2007 10:30AM

popebenny16 wrote:

Who told this joke:

"I was watching the telly... all those people in Africa living in mud huts... walking miles to the nearest stream to get water... why bother? Just move your mud huts nearer the river... easy..."

That's right, Ricky Gervais.

But he was being ironic, right? :rolleyes:

But that's the thing though, if you're clever and ironic you say whatever you want about Blacks, Asians, Jews, Women, Gays, Disabled people, etc.
Hell, ya might even get a bunch of awards too. :rolleyes:

Geranium · 19-06-2007 10:31AM

A black man, a Pakastani and a Jew were in a nightclub - what a good example of an integrated community.

Jesus Wept · 19-06-2007 10:34AM

“You are what you eat.....I'm a c*%t!”

A literary genius of our times.

Dyr · 19-06-2007 10:37AM

to the lolocaust robin!

philstar · 19-06-2007 11:04AM

dodgyme wrote:

Ok BM was fat lads. However is the reason here for the abuse ye are giving him because we (irish) were the subject of his 'jokes'.

nope im not slagging the guy.......i taught he was funny, he made me laugh don't care what the pc brigade think...

"I'm glad I'm not bisexual; I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women"

Richard Branson was asked to take over Manchester City football team. He said, "I couldn't do that. I couldn't have Virgin on the shirts of a team that gets F****D every week!"

Scawgeen · 19-06-2007 11:13AM

dodgyme wrote:

Ok BM was fat lads. However is the reason here for the abuse ye are giving him because we (irish) were the subject of his 'jokes'.

His Irish jokes were hilarious, I think the hurling of abuse at him had a lot to do with jealousy. He's in Heaven now, The Big Embassy in The Sky, makin' em laugh. My own favourite joke was the one he told about the dyslexsic Irish stonecutter. ' E she were thin '

May he rest in peace.

humanji · 19-06-2007 11:15AM

First of I heard of his death was a txt message 5 minutes ago. It said:

Bernard Manning has died at the age of 76. Doctors have described his condition as 'satisfactory'.

Degsy · 19-06-2007 11:21AM

I had his death on an accumalator in the bookies with Patrick Keilty and Tommy Teirnan.

Slow Motion · 19-06-2007 11:35AM

humanji wrote:

First of I heard of his death was a txt message 5 minutes ago. It said:

Bernard Manning has died at the age of 76. Doctors have described his condition as 'satisfactory'.

Class

Pherekydes · 19-06-2007 11:35AM

DublinWriter wrote:

...and the Sun came out.

Did it have a page 3 spread of him?

Slutmonkey57b · 19-06-2007 12:13PM

popebenny16 wrote:

Who told this joke:

"I was watching the telly... all those people in Africa living in mud huts... walking miles to the nearest stream to get water... why bother? Just move your mud huts nearer the river... easy..."

That's right, Ricky Gervais.

But he was being ironic, right? :rolleyes:

By the way I have no time at all for Manning, his day and his way of looking at life is dying out, thank god.

Eh, but that's a joke about "why bother walking". It's not a joke based on race at all.

flogen · 19-06-2007 12:17PM

Geranium wrote:

A black man, a Pakastani and a Jew were in a nightclub - what a good example of an integrated community.

Ah, Bernard Righton - what a superb character.

(Ah, Bernard Manning - what a scumbag.)

Slow Motion · 19-06-2007 12:27PM

Well at least he finally did something his critics will approve of !

eth0_ · 19-06-2007 12:37PM

Scawgeen wrote:

His Irish jokes were hilarious, I think the hurling of abuse at him had a lot to do with jealousy. He's in Heaven now, The Big Embassy in The Sky, makin' em laugh. My own favourite joke was the one he told about the dyslexsic Irish stonecutter. ' E she were thin '

May he rest in peace.

I don't get that joke?

The guy wasn't all that famous, he only appears to the working men's club sort of person, just like that other racist, sexist moron Jim Davidson.

aidan_walsh · 19-06-2007 12:42PM

eth0_ wrote:

I don't get that joke?

I'm guessing its only the punchline, to which we were all supposed to respond with "Ah yeah, ****ing brilliant that one". But no...

Anyway, Bernard Manning. Who?

Binomate · 19-06-2007 12:45PM

An hero.

Keith C · 19-06-2007 01:01PM

Was he not the guy who's poutry farms got the bird flu & had to be culled?? Fat bastard probably ate them anyway

Degsy · 19-06-2007 01:16PM

Keith C wrote:

Was he not the guy who's poutry farms got the bird flu & had to be culled?? Fat bastard probably ate them anyway

nah thats Bernard "bootifull" MAtthews

philstar · 19-06-2007 01:18PM

here's another BM beaut....

A bloke is at the supermarket checkout. On the conveyer belt he's got one sausage,
one rasher of bacon, one bread roll, one egg, one tomato etc.

The bird on the checkout looks at him and says: "Ooh, you must be a single man."

Bloke thinks he's in and says: "Why, how can you tell?"

"Because you're an ugly c*nt."

Scawgeen · 19-06-2007 01:22PM

eth0_ wrote:

I don't get that joke?

The guy wasn't all that famous, he only appears to the working men's club sort of person, just like that other racist, sexist moron Jim Davidson.

It wasn't a joke, it was more the punchline which many of his fans would be familiar. It's my own personal favourite joke, it's not great, not brillant just funny. He appeals to me and I've never set foot in a Working man's club in my life. I thought he was funny. Jim Davidson, Chubby Brown etc don't appeal to me at all.

Scawgeen · 19-06-2007 01:24PM

philstar wrote:

here's another BM beaut....

A bloke is at the supermarket checkout. On the conveyer belt he's got one sausage,
one rasher of bacon, one bread roll, one egg, one tomato etc.

The bird on the checkout looks at him and says: "Ooh, you must be a single man."

Bloke thinks he's in and says: "Why, how can you tell?"

"Because you're an ugly c*nt."

Thanks ! needed a laugh today.

flogen · 19-06-2007 01:43PM

Bernard Righton, by the way. Brilliant.

philstar · 19-06-2007 01:49PM

another BM belter...:D

An ugly c*nt of a man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" Asks the barman.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the
railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to
the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took
her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time!
We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top,
sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"
.
.
F**K knows!!......Never found the head.

MooseJam · 19-06-2007 01:54PM

very funny guy, RIP

tampopo · 19-06-2007 03:26PM

I've always found Ricky Gervais to be incredibly UNfunny.

the "e she were thin" was from a much longer different joke, well, the version I heard it anyway, Yorkshire based, not Cheshire based.

anyway, my 2p worth

super_furry · 19-06-2007 03:34PM

Horrible bigotted racist scumbag. Hope he rots.

Bernard Manning RIP

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