What do you think of this?

Lamps · 13-03-2007 07:07PM

boffin wrote:

Weird that she deleted the mail --- on the other hand also weird that he would post pictures of the two of them if they were seeing each other behind your back - if you are trying to keep something like that secret you'd hardly post the pictures of the two of you up on bebo....anyway let us know how it goes --- hope it works out for you and that it's all a big misunderstanding.

i dont think its a continous thing, more like a one nighter methinks.

ballsofire23 · 13-03-2007 07:17PM

I would like to know why it's so important to you that she decides to stay with you?
Is she extremely special? Or is there a wonderful magical character about her that attracks you?

ferdi · 13-03-2007 07:17PM

innocent until proven guilty and all that but man, your gf is definilty playing away. it could have been a once off but if she was upset and ashamed about it she would not have been exchanging mails with her co conspirator.

cornbb · 13-03-2007 07:54PM

Lil Kitten wrote:

What are you rolling eyes for smart ass? She's obv up to something. Have you been in this position? Maybe people are posting from experience. Photos, secret mail, telling him to post privately and deleting them.

You are naive, you will be taken for a ride one day

Yeah, I have actually, but I would still be sure of the facts before diving in there with all guns blazing. She's NOT obviously up to something, she very well could be, but he can't be sure that she is based on reading a snippet of a conversation and seeing a photo of his arm around her (girls do that when they're not doing the dirt too, you know). If she did do the dirt (and it looks a little likelier now than it did earlier) then he should dump her by all means, but if he doesn't check his facts first he has everything to lose. I'm not naive, thanks very much, I'm being rational.

Steyr · 13-03-2007 08:46PM

ballsofire23 wrote:

I would like to know why it's so important to you that she decides to stay with you?
Is she extremely special? Or is there a wonderful magical character about her that attracks you?

Id imagine so dickhead if he is worried about her, cop on man.:rolleyes:

connundrum · 13-03-2007 09:05PM

Lil Kitten wrote:

Yea, somethings up. Just dump the cheating bitch.

As chiche'd as George Hamilton tbh.

See what she says, if you have an honest relationship then trust what she says. If you guys tend to keep things from each other then you'll be paranoid forever.

tbh · 13-03-2007 09:52PM

Look, don't be worried. Either she's cheating or she isn't. If she is, it sounds like from her comments she doesn't really have an issue with it, so you have to decide if you can put up with her behaving like that, or you can't. If you can, grand, if you can't, you should break up with her.

If she isn't cheating, then I think any reasonable partner would understand why you were freaking out, and would do their best to reassure you. It's not like you went snooping, and based on what you say, you had every right to investigate - I think 99.9% of people would do the same in those specific circumstances. So she shouldn't get angry at you, and if she does, once you've explained how you came to read the comments, then she's got something to hide IMO.

When you are talking to her, it will be helpful for you to try to remain as calm as you can, and, as much as possible, try to keep your emotions in check. When you talk to her, your intention should be to:

-Explain the circumstances leading you to read her messages, and what you thought when you read them

-Ask her for an explanation for the comments

-Listen to what she has to say

-Decide what you believe

-Dump the bitch.

Sorry, joke on the last one, it should be

-tell her what you think. Don't feel pressure to believe her or to make your decision straight away. Remember - you've done nothing wrong, and you don't expect anything any unreasonable person wouldn't expect. Don't be worried about the outcome - if she's not the one, you need to get past her and the quicker the better.

Seriously, tho, good luck.

LegacyUser · 13-03-2007 10:30PM

Anyone else think that maybe she could be up to something else....mad nights out spring to mind....i.e. Xtasy

~Rebel~ · 13-03-2007 11:11PM

one thing to keep in mind is if she comes out squeeky clean with whatever she tells you, she's probably lying, as you already know she's covering SOMETHING up, beit something small or big, but if she admits to something, even if its just being overly flirtatious behind your back its far more likely shes telling the truth.

I really feel for you, nothing worse then questioning your trust, it really eats you up inside.

WindSock · 14-03-2007 12:20AM

How do you know she deleted all her mail today?

Caliden · 14-03-2007 12:25AM

Lamps wrote:

i dont think its a continous thing, more like a one nighter methinks.

yeah because I always take pictures of people I've had one nighters with...

LegacyUser · 14-03-2007 12:44AM

I reckon she is scoring the guy on the side and depending what her morals are like, could have easily slept with him on that night. Who knows though? Keep us posted...i'm hoping it's not bad news for u dude

_blank_ · 14-03-2007 12:53AM

There's no way she's doing the dirt.

Doubt she'd let the other fella post 'incriminating' photos on his bebo.

Check his bebo tomorrow, if the pics are gone, then get suspicious. She probably asked him to take them down.

If they are still there, she's innocent of doing the dirty.

Lamps · 14-03-2007 01:11AM

cheesedude wrote:

I reckon she is scoring the guy on the side and depending what her morals are like, could have easily slept with him on that night. Who knows though? Keep us posted...i'm hoping it's not bad news for u dude

na this lad is from Dublin according to his bebo and were in Cork. She was just up in dublin on the day in question.

Anyway shes denying anything happend (was up with her earlier) and i totally beleive her. She doesnt know why she wrote them comments and thought i would go mad if he left comments on the page. i can read her like a book and i dont doubt her for a second. She could totally see where i as coming from though.

I know some of you will be convinced shes waffling but shes not, i know her to well.

cornbb · 14-03-2007 01:18AM

Well if thats good enough for you it should be good enough for us. Glad you had the sense to talk to her, hope the headwreck is over now dude.

Gordon · 14-03-2007 10:00AM

Steyr wrote:

Id imagine so dickhead if he is worried about her, cop on man.:rolleyes:

Banned

padser · 14-03-2007 10:27AM

Lamps wrote:

na this lad is from Dublin according to his bebo and were in Cork. She was just up in dublin on the day in question.

Anyway shes denying anything happend (was up with her earlier) and i totally beleive her. She doesnt know why she wrote them comments and thought i would go mad if he left comments on the page. i can read her like a book and i dont doubt her for a second. She could totally see where i as coming from though.

I know some of you will be convinced shes waffling but shes not, i know her to well.

Smacks of ostridge syndrome methinks.

I'd be asking some pretty serious questions. I'd also be particularly suspicious of any girl who 'can totally see where I am coming from' when it has involved me reading her private mail bebo

Spiritus Mundi# · 14-03-2007 10:56AM

Looks like this case has been solved but the original comments could have applied to anything from flirting, drugs, excessive drinking or just general craziness/unladylike behaviour on a night out.

On a side note, and i'm prob gonna get lynched for this, i've got a friend who has a theory that "everyone cheats" and in particular "all girls cheat and lie". I asked did that apply to his sister and mom , and he said yep :eek: I think this is also his justification for being a complete player/untrustworthy so-n-so...... personally if i came across this on Bebo i'd def a) read it all b) be quite jealous/paranoid/bordering delusional about it for the next day or 2.

Also on the other hand, even some innocent behaviour (flirting, drinking, dancing etc) can be enough to make a bf/gf jealous, so maybe she didnt want that sorta stuff uncovered. i found that to be the case with my ex anyway - for example lads dancing up to her on the dancefloor, that sort of thing used to drive me mental!!!

lollipops · 14-03-2007 03:34PM

HEYA.im relly sorry to hear ur problem but the most likely explanation is shes cheated or she is flirtin with someone which is the first step of cheated.the words KICK and CURB come to mind.u seem like a relly nice fella so move on and find someone you can trust 100% good luck:o;)

Lamps · 14-03-2007 04:03PM

Spiritus Mundi# wrote:

Looks like this case has been solved but the original comments could have applied to anything from flirting, drugs, excessive drinking or just general craziness/unladylike behaviour on a night out.

On a side note, and i'm prob gonna get lynched for this, i've got a friend who has a theory that "everyone cheats" and in particular "all girls cheat and lie". I asked did that apply to his sister and mom , and he said yep :eek: I think this is also his justification for being a complete player/untrustworthy so-n-so...... personally if i came across this on Bebo i'd def a) read it all b) be quite jealous/paranoid/bordering delusional about it for the next day or 2.

Also on the other hand, even some innocent behaviour (flirting, drinking, dancing etc) can be enough to make a bf/gf jealous, so maybe she didnt want that sorta stuff uncovered. i found that to be the case with my ex anyway - for example lads dancing up to her on the dancefloor, that sort of thing used to drive me mental!!!

She was saying its the fact she was acting like a spastic cos she was locked drunk and she thought i wouldnt approve of her talking to random blokes shes had a laugh with on nights out.

Its all fairly innocent i think, shes a really good looking girl and is going to attract attention form other guys every time shes out. I used to get really jealous when the relationship started but i cudnt are care less now, i know shes only having a laugh and sure id be as bad ona lads night out.

And tbh as was said above, id agree that an awful lot of girls cheat, probly more than that dont, but not everyone and id include the gf.

boffin · 14-03-2007 04:15PM

Glad it's all resolved OP.

Just wondering tho - the way you posted OP suggested that this guy was some random guy she meet out on a night out when she was up in Dublin - or is he a friend of a friend and that's how they are in contact? Because the latter makes sense but the former doesn't.

wasper · 15-03-2007 12:49AM

Lamps wrote:

Just a bit of a childish question here but would just like to hear what you think. My girlfriend stayed logged into her bebo account on my laptop there the other day and not thinking I thought it was my profile as mine automatically stays on and I just went straight to “my” mail, as soon as I clicked in I relaised it wasn’t mine and was about to click out when I seen a few private messages from some lad I didn’t know in her mail. Now I shouldn’t of clicked in, but I doubt any other guy wouldn’t of and i let curisosity get the better of me. Now I totally trusted my gf but the messages surprised me a bit.

I just read 1 even though there was about 4 cos I felt so bad for doing it, but the messages were referring to a night out she had with her girlfriends a couple of weeks ago. They generally just talked about the night out but she said in one of them “I had to send you a private mail cos I didn’t want the boyfriend knowing what I get up to!” and then the message ended with “only reply to me by private mail you don’t want me to get into trouble”.

I immediately clicked out cos I shouldn’t have been there and even though I wanted to read the rest of the mails I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
What do you think of that? I know im going to have to talk to her about it but how the hell do I bring it up that I read her mail?

Before anyone gets started im not a freaky bf that doesn’t let her talk to other lads, other lads often text her/leave her comments on bebo/text and im totally cool with it so that’s why I want to know why she wanted to keep this on private mail and its why im getting suspicious.

I deont need a lecture on reading the mail, i know it was wrong.
What i need to know is why would she of said those things?

You should have read the rest of the emails. Your actions are not wrong if you find out she is being doing th dirty on you. But since logged out, you must talk to her.
Have you considered the case that she left her account open intentionaly to give you hints.
Talk to her & don't let it fester.

Brian Capture · 15-03-2007 12:53AM

guess it's better for her to f*ck a friend than a black drug dealer.... but friends like this f*cker a man don't need. Hopefully the kid is not yours and after you get tired of the worthless f*cking whore, you can divorce her slut ass and not have to support her b*stard.

Gordon · 15-03-2007 01:00AM

Brian Capture, wash your mouth out if you wish to post on the PI forum, thanks.

Brian Capture · 15-03-2007 01:03AM

Gordon wrote:

Brian Capture, wash your mouth out if you wish to post on the PI forum, thanks.

sorry - no offence.
but I did use the asterisks

Gordon · 15-03-2007 01:06AM

OK then: Brian Capture, wash your f**king mouth out if you wish to post on the PI forum, thanks.

gary the great · 15-03-2007 01:12PM

Brian Capture wrote:

guess it's better for her to f*ck a friend than a black drug dealer.... but friends like this f*cker a man don't need. Hopefully the kid is not yours and after you get tired of the worthless f*cking whore, you can divorce her slut ass and not have to support her b*stard.

EH WTF?

What do you think of this?

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