I need help

stratospheres · 23-02-2007 02:17AM #1

I can't be bothered goin unreg...if someone recognises me I don't care...maybe this is like a cry for help!
It's gonna be a long one..............

So basically I'm 18 and a two time college dropout. Most recently I dropped out last month (which I am really regretting) and I'm finding it hard to get a job. I spend half the day in bed and the other half online and looking for jobs, this is making me increasingly depressed. I've a bad track record with jobs because when I make mistakes or do something wrong I just walk away, rather than telling someone that I can't cope. I know it's stupid but I can't help it, I'm so afraid of failure and confrontation. There's nothing I enjoy doing or am particularly good at so the only motivation for me to get a job is money, and something to keep me from goin insane here at home! I'm sick of sponging off my parents (not that they give me money as such, just the food and living here for free and all) and I hate being stuck in a rut. The only time I'm happy is when I'm with friends and on a night out. I foolishly give up opportunities to get a job and I think maybe I'm being too picky? I can't really tell anyone because my mam said "you're probably just a bit down" and I can't afford to go to the doctor so I dunno what to do...

I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for here so feel free to comment or give advice!

23-02-2007 09:51AM

You obviously cannot live the life of the character in the film, "Failure to Launch," forever. Might be a good film for you to see? Good for a laugh. In any case, there must be something that you could do for a living that would be of some interest? Perhaps seeing a guidance counsellor for some ideas?

Beruthiel · 23-02-2007 10:55AM

stratospheres wrote:

So basically I'm 18 and a two time college dropout. Most recently I dropped out last month (which I am really regretting)

So go back?
Look, you're 18, you're just starting. If you only dropped out last month, then there is a possibility of going back? If not right away then next term. Go back to college and find out if this is possible.

I've a bad track record with jobs because when I make mistakes or do something wrong I just walk away, rather than telling someone that I can't cope. I know it's stupid but I can't help it, I'm so afraid of failure and confrontation.

Well see, this is real life, everyone of us have had to face failure and confrontation in our lives.
Time to make yourself face this and realise that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. And I expect all your failures so far have not been life threatening?

I foolishly give up opportunities to get a job and I think maybe I'm being too picky?

You're 18, with feck all experience, at your age you cannot afford to be very picky. Am I wrong in thinking that you are trying to run before you can walk?

I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for here so feel free to comment or give advice!

18 is a fairly crap age.
I wouldn't go back to it if given the chance.
You're old enough to think and decide for yourself but too young to have a clue what it is you should be doing to move on to the next phase of your life.
I think most of us just got on with it by whatever means till we hit our 20's and started getting somewhere. At least, that's what it was like for me.

My advice, do whatever it takes to get back into college, this is the first step to making a life for yourself.

luckat · 23-02-2007 11:00AM

Hmm... just a suggestion. Work seems to be a negative thing for you. If you learn how to focus on your successes, like the people you work with, enjoy the whole process - whether it's working in Spar or designing software - you could turn it all around.

cold_filter · 23-02-2007 11:08AM

Hey college is the best time of your life, trust me, i messed around so much i didnt think id leave!!! but dropping out isnt a big deal if the course is not what you want. Your 18, in 4 years you'll be 22 i didnt finish my BSc til i was 24 dont worry about it.

Also i've been working for a couple of big multinationals since leaving college. If you screw up tell your boss because if you try to cover it up it'll come out in the end and you'll look worse.

AnonoBoy · 23-02-2007 11:27AM

You're only 18 and you've dropped out of college twice. When I was your age I was still in secondary school. So you're way ahead of me there.

Sounds like you don't know what you want to do. You know what? That's perfectly normal. In fact I think it's almost expected. It's bull**** expecting an 18 year old to know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. They're 18 - you're more interested in drinking and trying to get laid.

I suggest that you try to get a job - doesn't have to be anything special. Just something that will mean you have something to get yourself up for in the morning and something to give you a bit of cash in your pocket - means more things you can do when you do go out with your mates. I've had plenty of **** jobs throughout the years that I've enjoyed purely because of who I worked with.

Work the job for a while and take some time to consider what you want to do with yourself. What do you enjoy, what could you see yourself doing in the future? Don't rush yourself. Take a year or more. There's no rule that says you have to be in college right now. The courses will be there and you may well enjoy the whole college experience better when you're that slight bit older and are a bit more sure in the course you're doing

It's not a career so don't worry that you'll be stuck there forever - see it for what it is - a transition. Think about what type of job would suit you most? Bar work? Shop? Building site?

You sound a lot like me when I was younger - never wanted to admit mistakes or try something I wasn't sure about and hence I missed out on some good opportunities. You know what though? It's perfectly fine to not know how to do something when you're starting in a job. Bosses and co-workers much prefer a new person who asks how something is done and learns it properly instead of fecking it up all the time.

I've no doubt that you're feeling a bit down. This, again, is normal. You're unsure of what you're doing at the moment, just dropped out, don't have a job. Unless you're finding it completely oppressive then I'd say it's nothing to worry about. You'll probably find it lifts when you start getting things going for yourself again.

humanji · 23-02-2007 12:20PM

As Beruthiel said, it may not be too late to go back to your course. Failing that, you can do another course. And remember that you can do courses in anything, so you could do one in anything that interests you. Places like Ballyfermot have loads of fun courses that most people wouldn't even consider as possible careers until it was too late. You're young and have unlimited choices before you, so take you pick. If it doesn't work out, then simply start again.

loismustdie · 23-02-2007 12:34PM

have you considered travelling, it will definitely take you aout of the rut and you will have a new lease of life when you come back and may have even decided what you want to do with yourf life after ssing the world. you don't need lots of money, get a job here for a few months and save every peeny then work your way around the world!

podge79 · 23-02-2007 01:15PM

loismustdie wrote:

have you considered travelling, it will definitely take you aout of the rut and you will have a new lease of life when you come back and may have even decided what you want to do with yourf life after ssing the world. you don't need lots of money, get a job here for a few months and save every peeny then work your way around the world!

yeah OP do something like this and then if you want in a few years go back to college and do a course you want/are interested in doing. Thats what i'm doing now - after years of working i realised what i had originally done in college was not for me... and to a certain i'm still counting the cost.. but now i'm doing something i'm actually interested in and not just for the sake of a getting a job at the end... live life and have no regrets about anything

I need help

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