am I being ridiculous

LegacyUser · 08-02-2007 07:48PM #1

I know a lovely guy, we are not going out or anything but he has told my friends he likes me and asks me if I am heading out on a certain night etc. He is brilliant in every way except he's smaller than me, this is the only thing that's putting me off. I'm being ridiculous amn't I? I'm 5'8" and he's about 5'4".

LegacyUser · 08-02-2007 08:40PM

In a word, yes.

Seriously if he brilliant in every way except for this 'little' flaw then go for it.

challengemaster · 08-02-2007 08:51PM

No offence, but yeah, you're being totally ridiculous about it. If you truely like him, then petty things like height/etc shouldn't matter. I'd say go for it, if thats all thats holding you back.

Catari Jaguar · 08-02-2007 08:53PM

TomKat??

chump · 08-02-2007 09:05PM

No you're not being ridiculous.

You don't like the size of him. It's a personal thing whether or not you can get over this - not something we can advise on.

My opinion would be to give the squirt a shot.

secret_squirrel · 08-02-2007 10:29PM

Go for it. Plus if he has a flat head you can rest your pint on it.

randylonghorn · 08-02-2007 10:30PM

I would say this is definitely a case of "size doesn't matter"

Seriously, what would you think of him if he wouldn't have anything to do with you because you were taller?

(... in fact, I would have thought it more an issue for him, in the sense that he would be more likely to be self-conscious ... but maybe that's because I'm a man?!)

Chucky the tree · 08-02-2007 11:04PM

You are being rediculus, but will a load of boards poster telling you that actually change your mind?

serena06 · 09-02-2007 12:52AM

I'm a tall girl and just can't feel myself attracted to guys who are smaller than me.People can't judge you for that. if you don't feel attracted, you don't and that's it. Now, if you do feel attracted to him but are afraid of what people might think it's another thing.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 09-02-2007 01:28AM

Hmmm I'm a small guy myself. I prefer *slightly* taller women too it's unfortunate.

Now I could be deluding myelf but I've often thought that if you liked him enough it wouldn't bother you.

So going by my logic raising the issue on boards means you just don't like him enough. He's a "lovely" guy so maybe you feel you *should* like him. Be aware.

Hmm kinda feel bad that I might be burning another short guy's chances.

Bob the Builder · 09-02-2007 01:58AM

If height is your only concern, then ur damn lucky, it's hard to find a prtner who your only criticism is height....

I used to go out with someone taller than me, it worked out apart from the fact that I realised her true worth after we started goin out, but there was only ever a couple of piss-take regarding height...:o

she was about 6'0 and I was about 5'0

09-02-2007 01:59AM

More for him? He should be delighted! Yes, if he is brilliant like you say, except for his height, consider yourself lucky.

alantc · 09-02-2007 10:14PM

Don't go near him. Your kids will end up being short too and do you really want to put your children through that?

challengemaster · 09-02-2007 10:19PM

alantc: you do realise that height has to do with genes from both parents.. and even still, im taller than both my parents so however you figured that one out.. rethink it

Zambia · 10-02-2007 12:35AM

Not ridiculus if it bothers you dont date him...

at least give him a go horizontally before you dont pursue it ... its good to have all the pros and cons before this type of decision..

10-02-2007 02:49AM

This post has been deleted.

Sad Professor · 10-02-2007 02:57AM

Just get him some lifts and he'll be grand. My boss in work wears shoes with a 4 inch heel but eh nobody notices.

alantc · 10-02-2007 03:29AM

challengemaster wrote:

alantc: you do realise that height has to do with genes from both parents.. and even still, im taller than both my parents so however you figured that one out.. rethink it

Please tell me more of this genetics thing you speak of.

Quick question. If two tall people, a tall and a short couple and two short people each have a child, who do you think is most likely to have short kids and who might have the tallest.

It's not unusual for girls to want a taller partner, to the point where they ask about it on the internet. I don't want any of my kids to be "the short guy" and I think the OP can empathise with that. Evolutionary advantage and all that. You'd probably know better.

galah · 10-02-2007 12:21PM

being a tall girl, I couldn't face going out with smaller guys either...It's nothing personal - but for me, I would need a shoulder to lean on (in the most literal sense), and I have enough neck problems without having to bend down all the time on top of that...Plus I think it looks ridiculous, but again, that's personal opinion.

It's harsh, and I'm sure I've missed out on a lot of nice guys due to their height - but if you can't help it, you can't help it...

And about those genetics: My parents are both around 5'2" or so - and my brother and I are very tall (6'5" and 5'11" respectively) - what does that tell you (and no, my mom was not having an affair with the viking neighbour next door...) ;-)

challengemaster · 10-02-2007 03:47PM

In a world where love is so valued and precious.. physical attributes are focused upon too much.

Capt'n Midnight · 10-02-2007 03:59PM

The Scientist wrote:

6"3 girls are hard to come across...[/QUOTE]unless you are very well endowed.

Anyway there is a difference in height of only 4" between you. If you wore flat shoes and he wore hiking boots would that help ? And besides the difference is only when you are standing.

IIRC Julie Andrews had to walk in a trench when filming with Omar Sharif

Shoe lifts - http://www.gwheellift.com/graphics/foot.gif

chuci · 10-02-2007 04:51PM

if its just his height give him a chance id say like go on a date see how it goes make sure your both sitting down:p
i wouldnt really go out with a much shorter guy than myself and being tall enough for a girl ,its hard to find someone to lean on (their shoulder).
but id say give it a whirl see how it goes. best of luck

limklad · 10-02-2007 08:54PM

hello-kitty wrote:

I know a lovely guy, we are not going out or anything but he has told my friends he likes me and asks me if I am heading out on a certain night etc. He is brilliant in every way except he's smaller than me, this is the only thing that's putting me off. I'm being ridiculous amn't I? I'm 5'8" and he's about 5'4".

My uncle married a woman who was serveral inches taller than him. They are now married over 24 years therefore height is not a problem. He was able to hit the mark, to prove it they now have four kids.

LegacyUser · 11-02-2007 01:33AM

I used to have this thing that any guy I went out with had to be taller than me-then I met my first boyfriend and almost didn't go out with him because he was only the same height as me-I decided I was being shallow and am so glad now I went out with him. If only this guy was a bit taller he'd be perfect. I'd just feel strange standing beside him. I do love tall guys.

arbeitsscheuer · 11-02-2007 08:35PM

Tbh it's difficult to change the way you feel about things like this. Sure, it's probably shallow, but just saying that doesn't change the discomfort or strangeness cause by the height difference.

Me, I only really have one thing that's guaranteed to be a deal-breaker in terms of girls I'm interested in - I won't get involved with girls who are (noticably) taller than me. Everything else, I just take as it comes, but that's pretty much the only stone-wall rule I have. Could be any number of reasons for that; feelings of inadequacy? Self-consciousness about how ridiculous it might look? I don't know, and tbh I don't particularly care. There aren't too many girls taller than me, and I'm only 5"9.

At the end of the day it's your decision hello-kitty.

x Purple Pawprints x · 12-02-2007 01:54PM

No you're not really being ridiculous. That's just the way you feel. But I think you should give him a chance. His personality might make up for his height and it would be unfair to just ditch him all because he's small.

LegacyUser · 23-02-2007 12:51AM

'Ok well I stayed over at his the other night, despite him wanting to we didn't go the whole way, he said he'll text me and it's been a couple of days now- now I'm just worried I went too far with him and he's gonna lose interest. I told him the reason I wasn't going to have sex with him was because I don't know him well enough and it was only the first night i was with him, respect etc.'

Cateym · 23-02-2007 10:37AM

Hiya,

I had the same issue. I always went for tall guys (my dad is 5'4", mother is 4'11") so I come from a long line of shorties. My first three boyfriends were 6', 6'3" and 5'10"! Then I met my current boyfriend (of three years) who is about half an inch taller than me!I tower over him in heels.

At first it was a real stumbling block for me. I found it really odd looking my boyf in the eye instead of looking up at him!

Obviously I got over all that and we are very happy together but it did take a while and we did get a slagging. Munchkins etc etc.

What people have told me is once they met us a few times they don't notice anymore that he and I are wee people!

tbh · 23-02-2007 11:24AM

The Scientist wrote:

Muchos laughterous....:)

Tbh, its a personal thing, you're either comfortable with it or your not..
Personally, i would'nt date a taller girl.. but fortunatley for me I'll never have that problem.
6"3 girls are hard to come across...

yeah, six inch girls are a rarity.

OP - you are not being ridiculous, you are entitled to select or rule out a partner based on any criteria you like. HOWEVER if you end up alone and lonely, you can always console yourself by congratulating yourself you are not with a shortarse.

ZiabR · 23-02-2007 12:14PM

Yeah you are being a little silly tbh. If you really like him and he is great in everyway then it really should not matter that he is smaller than you.

Go for it!

oceansize · 23-02-2007 12:59PM

I wouldn't. If you think that before you're going with him, then it may only get worse. But dont tell him why!

am I being ridiculous

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