living at home

littlesurfer · 06-02-2007 06:18PM #1

having some miniature problemo's at home. They're pretty mini and will definately blow over but it's got me thinking. I'm a 24 yr old professional. the only reason i haven't bought yet is because its easy to live at home and because i'm pretty sure i will go travelling for a year at some stage in the next year or two.

But i'm feeling it might be a good idea to move out and be a real adult for a change..........BUT.....at the moment i have no bills other than my car and phone, i have no real responsiblities at home other than walk the dog every couple of days. So i'm thinking would I be crazy to leave that for the moment, or is it just taking advantage of my family if i stay????

made a few appointments to see places this week so i gots to make a decision pretty pronto!

iremex · 06-02-2007 06:25PM

dont move!! your finances will NEVER be the same again.. plus if u are planning on travelling for a year, think of the money you would save instead of paying rent/bills/food!!

oops, i meant "get out there and become an adult" of course!

btw, i did the staying at home thing before i travelled with a whiff of rent for the folks

Drift · 06-02-2007 06:25PM

If your parents have no problem with you living at home for a few months more and you're on a professional's salary then maybe you should look into purchasing a house or apartment. Paying money on a mortgage would be better in the long run than paying dead money on rent.

If you purchased a house and occupied one room yourself you would be able to rent 2 or 3 other rooms and cover half the mortgage that way. It would be slightly more expensive than simply paying rent ..... but you'd be working your way onto the property ladder which is always good.

edit: a lot of people will probably tell you to move out post haste but if you get on well with your family I see no reason too. If you feel guilty about sponging you could contribute to the household running costs.

looksee · 06-02-2007 06:32PM

You don't really need anyone to answer your questions. You are aware you are disrespecting yourself by not contributing to your own upkeep. Maybe your family don't need a financial contribution from you, and maybe someone else is waiting on you and cleaning up after you, but for your own sake you need to take responsibility for yourself.

Afuera · 06-02-2007 06:45PM

Drift wrote:

maybe you should look into purchasing a house or apartment. Paying money on a mortgage would be better in the long run than paying dead money on rent.

Did you even bother reading the OPs question before throwing out this tired old cliche? They are planning on doing some traveling in the short-term and at this stage would probably not appreciate the "grip of death" you're promoting.

I think that the OP would benefit from moving out. At 24 it sounds like they've been very sheltered until now and would learn a lot from the experience. I disagree with the idea that your finances will suffer that badly. I actually saved a fortune when I first moved out as I started entertaining at home a lot more and stopped spending so much on restaurants and pubs.

BestPosterEver · 06-02-2007 06:53PM

If you're not already paying any upkeep, but are feeling a little guilty about sponging, start buying random things for the house. Food, items, whatever. This way you can contribute without having a set figure you have to cough up every month.

Secondly, don't bother moving out. If you want to go travelling you don't want a big fat mortgage to pay, plus you'll be able to save enough cash for a decent trip. The great thing is that by the time you finish traipsing around the world, the property market will have stopped it's upward climb. If you're really lucky you'll be able to benefit from foreclosures.

hunnymonster · 06-02-2007 06:56PM

If everyone is happy with the current situation, then there is no need to change. At 24 I definately would have needed more freedom but everyone's situation is different.

The rule in our house was that every child gave up 80% of their take home pay (be that summer jobs or when we started real jobs) to mum to cover our food and rent. Some of my friends thought it was a bit stiff but it didn't even start to pay back all the years our parents raised us and besides, we never had to work while we were studying.

littlesurfer · 06-02-2007 06:57PM

hmmmm, mixed bag....

i do actually contribute to the running of the house,...i'm just not expected to. i don't have any particular job, but i do help out. And your right looksee,...my family don't need or want me to contribute financially.

i earn a decent enough salary for someone of my age but my spending habits are attrocious.....is there any hope that moving out might make me grow up and start budgeting?

Drift · 06-02-2007 07:00PM

Afuera wrote:

They are planning on doing some traveling in the short-term and at this stage would probably not appreciate the "grip of death" you're promoting.

It depends on what short term means. Anything longer than 2 years and they'd make a decent profit on the re-sale of the house ......... it is also quite possible to cover (or take a break from) a mortgage for a year of travelling.

And rent being dead money may be a "tired old cliche" but that doesn't make it untrue.

Basically from the OPs standpoint I think she could probably put her money to better use than spending it on rent.

challengemaster · 06-02-2007 07:02PM

you might want to get your head around the whole thing before you move out, otherwise you could end up on your ass and in serious debt.

Stay where you are for now, IMO, travel, get that out of the way then start saving

_blank_ · 06-02-2007 08:38PM

hunnymonster wrote:

The rule in our house was that every child gave up 80% of their take home pay (be that summer jobs or when we started real jobs)

:eek: 80%, Jesus.

littlesurfer, I did pretty much the same thing as you are planning to do.

I lived at home until I went travelling, I was away for a year, and when I came back I moved back in, gave me time to get my feet on the ground, get a new job blah blah blah. Now I'm moving back out to rent for a while, apply for the affordable housing scheme, and get my own place soon enough.

It's a great plan, and at 24/25 when I went away, it was perfect tbh. I get on well with the family and wasn't paying extortionate upkeep.

Go for it, stay there for the time being. BUT, if you decide not to travel, then leave.

Nevyn · 06-02-2007 08:59PM

littlesurfer wrote:

i earn a decent enough salary for someone of my age but my spending habits are attrocious.....is there any hope that moving out might make me grow up and start budgeting?

You don't need to move out to make that happen, infact moving out to dot htat could be disasterous.

Set up a savings account and have a certain ammount taken out of your salary per month that way you won't have access to it to spend it.
Think on it as your spending money for your year traveling; to be able to do so for a year and not come back in debth would be a wonderful achievement.

King of Kings · 06-02-2007 09:19PM

i moved out at 19 and it was the best thing I ever did.
It made me grow up and take charge and responsibility for my life and it was great! (and a bit wild) even now I have a lot more life experience than most of my peers and that's 10 years later

I'd recommend it.

biko · 06-02-2007 09:26PM

I agree with KoK.
The amount of lads I know moving out from Mum to Girlfriend, not having a clue about cooking, cleaning etc is scary.
It'll teach you to take care of yourself, something you need to be able to while travelling and also later in life. You will still be able to go home occasionally.
I left home at 16 to live with friends. Got on great with the family, just wanted my own thing like.
Anyway, whatever you decide, good luck!

littlesurfer · 06-02-2007 09:44PM

Why thank you good friends...mighty varied and useful advice....going to see a place on thursday....just looking....but i'm going to re read this stuff a couple of times and see which stuff sticks......

cheers!!!!,...oh and any more advice is welcome too!

BeardyGit · 06-02-2007 10:18PM

littlesurfer wrote:

Why thank you good friends...mighty varied and useful advice....going to see a place on thursday....just looking....but i'm going to re read this stuff a couple of times and see which stuff sticks......

cheers!!!!,...oh and any more advice is welcome too!

Pay attention to Thaed....

LegacyUser · 07-02-2007 12:13AM

'Stay at home like I did until you're 44.

"Language Timothy!"

"Sorry Mother"

Move out, for God's sake
Only in Ireland would someone aged 24 be asking "should I move out?"

HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAAAA

Embarrassing'

littlesurfer · 07-02-2007 10:12PM

Quite

dame · 08-02-2007 12:06AM

The advice Thaedydal gave was what I was about to suggest til I read someone else had posted it. The amount I suggest putting into that account every month is the amount you would be paying on rent and bills. Maybe even add in a bit more to cover what you'd be paying for food if you weren't eating the homecooking. You do not need to move out to learn how to budget. If you're spending a lot on clothes you might tink about stopping that. You won't be bringing very many clothes with you travelling and you'll probably want new up to date ones when you get home anyway.

dame · 08-02-2007 12:07AM

Ronnie Corbett wrote:

'Stay at home like I did until you're 44.

"Language Timothy!"

"Sorry Mother"

Move out, for God's sake
Only in Ireland would someone aged 24 be asking "should I move out?"
HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAAAA

Embarrassing'

Italy

Kold · 08-02-2007 12:19AM

Walk the dog every day.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 08-02-2007 12:37AM

Ah I moved out for a year - it's good aul craic - it is expensive - you'll probably be broke for the last two weeks of every month. Though you could well earn much more than me.

When you plan on going travelling - i wanna do that too but ill prob move out again first, hopefully be on enough to cash in a few years to move out & save/// or even drawdown a fat loan :P

Sad Professor · 08-02-2007 01:09AM

OP:

If mammy and daddy are the type who don't mind you staying and don't expect you to pay them back for being born, and you have a good relationship with them, etc, then I think you'd be mad to leave. Unless of course you just feel ready to go out on your own.

Yeah there's getting on the property ladder, rent is dead money, taking responsibility and all that crap but then you find yourself a few years down the road with a mortgage, car payments, loans, credit cards, some pregnant chick wanting you to marry her, a high paying job you'd be crazy to leave and... and well your trapped and all those dreams of travel with be just that - dreams.

We're young - lets enjoy it as long as we can.

iarlaoha · 08-02-2007 02:30AM

My advice on it is this. Life is a growing process, there's a lot of lines to cross, a lot of rites of passage that teach you lessons about yourself.

Just like you learn a lot about yourself and how you deal with people when you're in a real relationship for the first time, you learn a lot about yourself by moving out of home and into the real world. The first time you have an asshole flatmate, it teaches you a lesson about yourself. The first time you have your own house party in your own rented place, you get the excitement of that.

Chances are if you're 24, you just stayed at home through college, and have been hanging around there since.

My advice is if you want to embrace life, and you want to get some understanding on how the world really works, and more importantly how you really work, get the **** out of home now and rent a place. You will learn lessons on dealing with other people that you will *need* if you want to go off and do the travelling thing. You need to learn these lessons before you move in with a partner\girlfriend\boyfriend.

It's always fine to go stay with the parents for a month here or there on occasion between travels or apartments, and in fact it's interesting what you learn about yourself coming back into the home situation having lived outside it.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where there's stuff going on in your life and you're not sure why things are a bit ****, or how to sort it, chances are it's a life's lesson you ain't learnt yet. The sooner you start learning those lessons the better a life you'll have. Step one is moving out of the family home and experiencing the excitement of doing it.

Elessar · 08-02-2007 08:35AM

I would stay. You are mad to leave. Eventually you will have to move out anyway, might as well enjoy the increased financial freedom while you can. Don't listen to these people slagging you off, or telling you about "lessons" and other crap. They are not in your position.

I live at home and I'm 21. I have absolutely no intent on moving out in the future, unless I have some viable reason to do so. I am an only child and live with a single parent. The house will go to me eventually. I can't deny that it would be nice to have my own place sometimes, but then I think about all the payments and other things that go with it. Why put yourself through all that? You only get one life, don't put yourself through unnecessary stress and commitments. I can't imagine having to move out when I don't have to. You are going to anyway I presume, getting married and all that crap like most people, so enjoy what you have.

Beruthiel · 08-02-2007 08:57AM

I honestly don't get how someone can live under the same roof as their parents at that age. (I certainly couldn't and left at 19)
I don't believe you can truly grow up till you've lived on your own and taken on the responsibility of taking care of yourself.
I can't see how you can live your life totally, entertaining at home, doing your own thing being in charge of your own life. This is not possible while living with your parents.

08-02-2007 09:18AM

Reminds me of the film, Failure to Launch. I would look before I leaped, and definitely plan ahead, saving all my money, but definitely make a move towards independence in a reasonable time.

littlesurfer · 08-02-2007 11:54AM

This is so nuts,.....everyone has mad wacky different opinions on it! I'm totally lost. Firstly though, I'm female so not so worried about getting stuck with some "pregnant chick"

although you never know

and I actually have been saving a couple of hundred a month for a year or two now, I'm not completely useless but i do want to keep that money for when I eventually do want to settle down and get a house,....you know,...before i let the property market bleed me dry.

markpb · 08-02-2007 11:57AM

I moved away from home when I was 18, to go to college and, for me, it was the best thing ever. Independance, budgeting and looking after myself. I also managed to lose my annoying habit of losing everything. Yes it's expensive but the experience is worth it.

Last year I shared a house with two friends, one of whom was 23 and had never lived away from home before. She was terrible at doing house things and, more scarily, couldn't budget at all. She constantly had to borrow money to pay rent and bills and, in the end, had to move home because she couldn't afford renting.

It's up to you though, if you're travelling soon, it's probably better to stay at home and save hard.

Sarn · 08-02-2007 03:12PM

There's no reason why you can't become more responsible while living at home, paying your share of the bills, cleaning etc. The problem being at home is the lack of freedom/being subject to house rules and the easy option of having someone do everything for you.

Depending on where you live, I would imagine buying on your own somewhere (travelling aside) would be fairly difficult. IMHO renting relatively close to work would provide a better quality of life and be more cost effective at this stage.

As pointed out above, if you're going travelling in the short-term then I'd stay at home and save as much as I could. You'll have plenty of time to learn as you travel.

empirix · 08-02-2007 03:26PM

Personally if you are going travelling, i'd wait and save, remember you'll be away for a year (maybe longer/less), you'll find out what its like then and when you come back you'll have a better idea. I lived in a apprt for 5 years, then went travelling for two years, then moved in with her indoors for about 8 months - the rent was nailing us, so we decided to move back to each others parents and save for a house, back home 4 months now and quite enjoying it tbh, especially after being away for 2 years. Will probably be another year here until we get the money together for a good mortgage(or maybe a property drop) as we will be buying very close to the city. We have no prolems bar not as much sex(everyday) as usual but sacrifices has to be made.
I f you are getting along fine with the folks/families as i said, i'd stay. A lot of people who are usually in a rush to get out and have their own place either have family issues or want a "love" pad.

living at home

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