A little advice needed...

CodeMonkey · 15-01-2007 02:38PM

Iluvjazzmasters wrote:

Haha cyber soap!!!!Brilliant!!!! Well this latest installment will probably be the last. What happend was really weird. Right i sent a text early last night saying was she headin out and then all of a sudden i get a call off an unknown number, turns out it was her askin am i goin out? I said yeah i was goin out but to a different niteclub (think i made a mistake there)with my mates but still in the same town..THEN SHE COMES UP with the idea of meeting up after both niteclubs are over, hmm ok i thought but SHE also told me to ring her AFTER as she has no credit and we'll meet up etc..Hmm so anyway had a good nite any way and rang her but then she tells me she is in a taxi on the way home with no explanation????WTF??? You women are mental!!!I dont get that? After all it was her idea to meet up and heres me waiting round like a gob****e!!!I understand if some unforeseen circumstance unfolded but could she not have at least apologised or given me an explanation??I dunno,but what strikes me weird was that as i was walking to the taxi rank to go home i met her best friend,(who was pissed)..Phew this is a long rant..Apparently she left without her too.Hmmm. SO the best friend rang her (she was supposed to be staying at her house)and she replied that she was at home, and (yes the mate did ask was she alone)...She was.. Blah blah got a taxi home with the mate any way but the mate kept telling me how much this girl likes me and i should ask her out etc, she really does like you etc. What the hell???? Im really confused...Make sense of that if you will?

Should i leave it now with some sort of dignity left or give it 1 more shot?
Cue Eastenders theme song.............

FFS, sounds like she really liked you even without this conversation with the best mate. She was telling you where she was at that night to give you a chance to find her. What the hell do you want? Her to make the first move? Take a goddamn chance and stop over analysing the poor girl's actions already. This makes me so mad *shakes fist*

Rb · 15-01-2007 06:56PM

Ask her out already.

5times · 16-01-2007 02:13AM

Iluvjazzmasters wrote:

Haha cyber soap!!!!Brilliant!!!! Well this latest installment will probably be the last. What happend was really weird. Right i sent a text early last night saying was she headin out and then all of a sudden i get a call off an unknown number, turns out it was her askin am i goin out? I said yeah i was goin out but to a different niteclub (think i made a mistake there)with my mates but still in the same town..THEN SHE COMES UP with the idea of meeting up after both niteclubs are over, hmm ok i thought but SHE also told me to ring her AFTER as she has no credit and we'll meet up etc..Hmm so anyway had a good nite any way and rang her but then she tells me she is in a taxi on the way home with no explanation????WTF??? You women are mental!!!I dont get that? After all it was her idea to meet up and heres me waiting round like a gob****e!!!I understand if some unforeseen circumstance unfolded but could she not have at least apologised or given me an explanation??I dunno,but what strikes me weird was that as i was walking to the taxi rank to go home i met her best friend,(who was pissed)..Phew this is a long rant..Apparently she left without her too.Hmmm. SO the best friend rang her (she was supposed to be staying at her house)and she replied that she was at home, and (yes the mate did ask was she alone)...She was.. Blah blah got a taxi home with the mate any way but the mate kept telling me how much this girl likes me and i should ask her out etc, she really does like you etc. What the hell???? Im really confused...Make sense of that if you will?

Should i leave it now with some sort of dignity left or give it 1 more shot?
Cue Eastenders theme song.............

For the love of God - what is wrong with you man ? The girl obviously likes you , obviously would like you to ask her out , obviously wants to be with you . You should immediately ring her . Ask her out for a bite to eat - forget the pub - too much chance of meeting someone ye both know and losing time getting to know her . Be yourself , that's obviously what she likes (unless you were putting on an act the other times , then revert to that) . And whatever you do - keep us updated . This is great stuff .

Iluvjazzmasters · 16-01-2007 06:09PM

F**k me, alright...................................alright im on it!! Jeebus! I must be totally blind towards women :rolleyes:

killbillvol2 · 16-01-2007 07:16PM

5times wrote:

And whatever you do - keep us updated . This is great stuff .

Hear hear!

sweet-rasmus · 17-01-2007 12:42AM

lookin forward to hearing how it goes! i'm rooting for you

5times · 18-01-2007 03:08AM

Bloody hell - any updates ? This is killing me .

Iluvjazzmasters · 19-01-2007 03:51PM

Ok heres the update.. rang her last last night, no answer however she did ring me back late last night, (i suppose thats a good sign) asked aher her out anyway,at first she said she was already going out cos it was the best friends birthday( yes the mate that was telling me she liked me).

So any way she said she wasnt busy the WHOLE :rolleyes: weekend and said she's available to meet up sunday night!! fingers crossed!! Il'l let ye know how i get on.

Boarders yeah your right, i do analyse things way too much but i think its to do with me being an impatient b*stard and not knowing where i stand,that goes for any situation though....however lesson learned.

killbillvol2 · 20-01-2007 11:20AM

Good luck tomorrow night. Relax and enjoy yourself.

greine · 20-01-2007 12:18PM

One of the best reads in a long time, and yea, I'm hanging here too, roll on tomorrow and best of luck, Hope she doesn't hit you over the head with a statue...oh, wrong soap, good luck!!!:D

the_ronan_only · 20-01-2007 12:58PM

What is it with irish people and dating? We're all starting to speak like californians we just haven't got the hang of asking (random) people out.

American guys will go up to an attractive girl in any situation (not just down the local) and ask for their number (after a brief chat-up). If the girl finds the guy attractive she will comply and be prepared for him to ring her over the next couple of days fto meet up and chat over a coffee, dinner or a drink.

Irish guys will get hammered with their mates, manage to break off from them in a nightclub and rub up against every girl on the dancefloor until one of them isn't repulsed at which point he will smack the gob on her, fondle her on a nearby couch, get her number and text her over the next week to try and arrange for them both to be in a nightclub at the same time next friday.

Do many of you go on dates?

I went on one date last year with a non-irish girl.
It's not like I dont go out or I'm repulsive - I just dont get the opportunities.
I tried unsuccessfully for a month to ask a girl out but she only wanted to meet me when her friends were with her.

Is it just me (i'm 22 btw) or do other people find it hard to meet women?

PS Iluvjazzmasters - why dont you ask her out for lunch or dinner instead of meeting her in a nightclub?

dame · 20-01-2007 03:33PM

the_ronan_only wrote:

Irish guys will get hammered with their mates, manage to break off from them in a nightclub and rub up against every girl on the dancefloor until one of them isn't repulsed at which point he will smack the gob on her, fondle her on a nearby couch, get her number and text her over the next week to try and arrange for them both to be in a nightclub at the same time next friday.

That is so true! I think it changes as people get older though. They start to realise that's not exactly a good way to meet a soulmate.

OP, good luck!

MissThing · 20-01-2007 03:59PM

Make a day date, bowling, visiting a museum, art gallery, rollarblading, light lunch and stoll afterwards (of course I don't mean to do all of these things in one day). Be the "different" guy, the one she remembers and longs for. Don't get jarred up together like everyone else with zero imagination.

In the words of Shakesphere......."Faint heart never won fair lady"

Iluvjazzmasters · 22-01-2007 06:19PM

Hey ye'all just thought i d update you on last nights date... It was great we went for a few drinks, the converstion was mega, we had a lot in common, (good for groundwork),but also different interests,and also got on like a house on fire................................ weve arranged to meet up next weekend, HOORAY!! Just goes to show if you get a kick up the ass by all you beautiful boarders here sometimes things work out the way you want them to!

Cheers for everyones advice!

5times · 22-01-2007 10:23PM

Iluvjazzmasters wrote:

Hey ye'all just thought i d update you on last nights date... It was great we went for a few drinks, the converstion was mega, we had a lot in common, (good for groundwork),but also different interests,and also got on like a house on fire................................ weve arranged to meet up next weekend, HOORAY!! Just goes to show if you get a kick up the ass by all you beautiful boarders here sometimes things work out the way you want them to!

Cheers for everyones advice!

Well done - I love it when a plan comes together . Now , when you need to ask her to marry you , you know where to come for advice . Good luck with it all . In a selfish way I'm a bit down that it's now come good - I looked forward to your updates . Ah well , best of luck to you , I hope you make each other very happy .

Faith · 22-01-2007 10:34PM

Ugh, I've just read this thread for the first time.

You know what was the real problem, OP? Why she might not have liked you? Because you have no self-confidence, and clearly don't attempt to hide that fact. There's no greater turn off than an insecure man (or woman). Nobody wants to keep having to reassure their partner that they do in fact like them.

I'm glad your date went well, but seriously man, grow some balls, or she'll get sick of you pretty quickly.

dame · 23-01-2007 12:03AM

Iluvjazzmasters wrote:

Hey ye'all just thought i d update you on last nights date... It was great we went for a few drinks, the converstion was mega, we had a lot in common, (good for groundwork),but also different interests,and also got on like a house on fire................................ weve arranged to meet up next weekend, HOORAY!! Just goes to show if you get a kick up the ass by all you beautiful boarders here sometimes things work out the way you want them to!

Cheers for everyones advice!

Aaaaw, happy endings! Glad to hear it, well done! Best of luck!

davyjose · 23-01-2007 05:20AM

Best thread EVER!!!!

5times · 23-01-2007 11:09PM

Faith wrote:

Ugh, I've just read this thread for the first time.

You know what was the real problem, OP? Why she might not have liked you? Because you have no self-confidence, and clearly don't attempt to hide that fact. There's no greater turn off than an insecure man (or woman). Nobody wants to keep having to reassure their partner that they do in fact like them.

I'm glad your date went well, but seriously man, grow some balls, or she'll get sick of you pretty quickly.

Who's a moaning Michael ? Seriously , don't be a fool . The guy just needed some reassurance , which is what he got . If you don't like the thread , move on and find something else to pick on .

Iluvjazzmasters · 06-02-2007 09:27PM

Hey i thought id update you all on this story... Basically for the last few weeks me and the girl were seeing each other getting on great nothing too heavy ya know,then last weekend it all went to ****!!! During the week we met up and she mentioned to me that we go out this particular weekend (which was last weekend). Ya know it was kinda flirty texting as in your mine for the weekend if you get me which was intiated by her.... So any way friday came she texted to see if i was still up for goin etc...... So i met up with her in the local with all her mates,she got a bit touchy feely which i thought was great, as in things are goin well......So sat with her mates had a few boozes got on fine with those...( i know that the mates really liked me cos she kept telling me how much they liked me, then in aother ear i got the best mate once again tellin me she really liked me, f**kin hell)

So anyway thoughts soon turned to goin to the nightclub, i said i didnt have enough money for the night, i only had enough money to go out saturday nightclubbing...She then kindly enough offered to pay for me for the whole night which i was surprised at but i thought hey ill go with the flow....

So got out to the nightclub anyway and within seconds of walking in the door i noticed all the mates talking between each other and to (my girl).. I straightaway thought, oh great theres definetly an ex boyfriend here........which there was..I was told nothing until (my girl) came over to me and at least had the decency to level with me.. She explained that her ex who she dated for 3 years was here with another girl and that she found it awkward seeing him there...I said i understood and it was normal to feel like that, she then TOLD ME THINGS WERE OVER and that SHE ENDED IT...I then said look that i would like to see more of her and that i liked her and ( to which really really pisses me off) she said she felt the same way and that she'd like to get to know me better, likes me and we should do something for valentines.....etc..etc.. you get the picture. So everything was hunky dory from then on we were both all over each other until we left the nightclub...So we both got a taxi to one of her mates for a house party, then this is where it gets weird.. as she hopes out of the taxi she muttered something which i cant remember and then for no reason completly blanked me for the rest of the night... When i confronted her and asked her wtf was up with her
... she said 'i dont wanna talk right now, i wanna go home and we'll talk in the morning' and went to bed in the mates gaff. B*lls to that i thought, so I put this down to the amount of drink, and in her own words earlier the shock of seeing her ex and the fact the mates were involved in an altercation with a bouncer over jackets etc after ther nightclub, and i went home.....

So saturday came and i thought f*ck it ill text her and see what the story is was she heading out....I didnt hear anything at all but i got 2 missed calls off her to which i returned but didnt pick up...I thought to myslef ill get a few of the lads out insteadand we'll have a bit of craic going out...So went out to a different nightclub and i bumped into her and the mates againand asked her what the story was, which she said that she wasnt ready for a relationship and that she needed time to herself,as i had a few on board i stupidly didnt ask her was all the things she said to me the previous night a lie...I dont know why i asked this but i asked her did she see anything happening with us in the future and she said yeah but in a few months...what the hell does that mean, does it mean f**k off and leave me alone or just back off for a while or what??? That was how i left it and went off....

I feel like a complete fool but the thing that is really bugging me is that it was not like i was goin overboard, it was all very mutual as in i.e she was texting me asking to meet up with her and she said she liked me etc. I just dont get it, i understand the issue with the ex but if she needed her own space why lead me on? To be honest im gutted because no.1 i really liked the girl, there was a definite spark there and no.2 im annoyed at myself, i should have seen it coming because usually im a good judge of character (obviously not in this case though):mad: no.3 was she all over me in the nightclub just to make the ex jealous??

Id just like to make sense of the situation.....

Thoughts or comments/ advice are much appreciated, thank you!

LegacyUser · 06-02-2007 11:30PM

Id personally move on sounds like shes still into the boyfriend or not over him, IMO you are the rebound.....sorry mate

Option A
Give her a few weeks to sort her head out, see if she texts...

Option B-Give her a few weeks then text her, see what reaction you get....

Miss Fluff · 07-02-2007 11:04AM

Oh no, that's awful!:( To be honest it sounded like she was putting A LOT of the spade work in. I'd send her a text, say that you understand that she may need a bit of space and that you're there to talk if she needs you. Then phone her in a week or two to see how she is.

cold_filter · 07-02-2007 11:22AM

Thats pants, btw this is by far the best thread ever, i know from my own experience even a year later its hard to see your ex with someone even if you've got some one, take it easy stay in touch maybe wait a couple of weeks/month and ask her out again, tell her you'll take things slowly (ie not spend every minute of the dat textin and talking on the phone or always over at each others houses) and see what she says,
Its difficult to connect with someone in this position but give it time if you really want her

Angeles · 07-02-2007 01:38PM

Ouch, that sucks!
This is one of those moments you need to think carfully about what you want Op.
You can continue this but it will need time, you don't sound like you were the rebound, but i think running into this guy put her in a position she didn't want to or was not prepared to confrount and for and now needs a few weeks to mend herself emotionaly, after a 3year relationship it would have a strong effect.
If you want to stay with her, believe what she's said, and understand that alot of time will be needed for her.
If you want/need something more, then back down now and wish her the best and forget about her.
The choice is there, its down to your own patience

Iluvjazzmasters · 08-02-2007 04:41PM

Hmmm thanks a lot for the advice!! Im just still a little bit confused over the situation that happened...cheers anyway though

Caliden · 08-02-2007 05:06PM

She sounds like a barrel full of emotions ready to burst. What is it with girls who won't tell you whats wrong even though you know something is definately wrong?
Are they looking for attention? sympathy?

To be honest, I'd leave it and go looking elsewhere. Keep texting her so that if she realises she has made a mistake you are still on her good side.

ArphaRima · 09-02-2007 06:19AM

Ever wonder what she would think if she came across this thread through a friend?

dame · 09-02-2007 05:43PM

The whole having her friends tell you she likes you thing sounds so immature...I mean that's what 13/14 year olds do!

I think maybe it made her feel good to have somebody chasing her and the fact that she paid for you to go to the nightclub is a bit suspicious. I wonder if she knew her ex was going to be there and she wanted him to see her moving on.....but wasn't prepared for how she'd feel seeing him moving on!

Forget her. Let her be the one to do any running/chasing now. You've been very clear you like her and have done nothing wrong. She may just need a little time to get her head around the fact that her ex isn't pining for her. Be civil and friendly when you see her but as I said let her do any chasing from now on.

A little advice needed...

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