St00pid things you do pissed...Mega Merge] *hic* - Page 2

shane86 · 2006-11-27 10:52:17

So me and my mate went on the tear Friday night. Fair few drinks, we got talkin to this Russian bird, absoloutely beautiful looking princess, probably the best my mate has ever pulled (he did so later). The phrase "you snooze you lose" came into effect, I go to the bar to top up the drink and come back to find my mate on…

#32 18-01-2007 04:52AM

admiralofthefleet

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i was once locked, stupid drunk and was wearing grey trousers...went for a piss and went back to my seat not knowing that i had a huge wet patch on my thigh, my mates didnt point it out for ages though, it was a huge map of ireland

slightly ot, but isnt the worst feeling in the world the desperate need for a dump while your pissed in a very busy pub

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#33 18-01-2007 05:18AM

Msfc

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I was out one night and on our way home i thought it would be a great idea to throw my handbag into a bin for the craic (oh ye should try it,its a mad laugh-NOT) only to discover that i, nor anybody else could get it out:( and in my beloved bag was my phone, digital camera, and other stuff!! it still brings a tear to my eye to this day

:mad:
God damn you alcohol!!

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#34 18-01-2007 09:14AM

kizzyr

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Didn't happen in the last year but is the worst thing I've ever done while drunk: got very very drunk at work night out and told the MD, Deputy MD, and the next two in line EXACTLY what I thought of them all....unfortunately I didn't think good things.:o

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#35 18-01-2007 09:24AM

Archeron

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I once ended up very drunk in an ex'es house. I went and threw up in the downstairs loo, but missed a bit and got it all over the floor. I accidentally knocked over a basket of pot pourri which went all over the puke. In my drunken wisdom, I thought the best thing to do was to scoop up the pot pourri and put it back in its little basket, and say nothing, but unfortunately, I scooped up a lot of sick too, and left a lovely little basket of dried flowers and cider vomit on her windowledge. I hadnt the balls to tell her the next day either, I just legged it in a taxi.

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#36 18-01-2007 09:45AM

Dan133269

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friend of mine one time, trying to keep up with Russians drinking straight vodka at a party, passed out.
Next day he was informed, (which was confirmed by everyone's testimony and laughter) that he woke from his sleep, needed to sh*t desperately, was helped to the bathroom, once he finished his business discovered there was no toilet paper, so instead of shouting out for some, got the bright idea to use his hand and smear his own sh*t all over the walls of the bathroom! classy

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#37 18-01-2007 10:14AM

faceman

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a fat chick.

oops sorry i mean "made whoopee to a geometrically challenged female"

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#38 18-01-2007 10:55AM

Muineach

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Once when drunk I thought it would be a good idea to give myself a piercing, not so bad, the area ? the foreskin
wasnt too bad, i was so drunk I didnt feel anything, didnt get infrected thank god, imagine heading to A&E with that !

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#39 18-01-2007 11:23AM

connundrum

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When out for Rag Week in Carolw IT I decided that it'd be great craic to go for a swim in the Barrow river at +/- 3.30am. So I convinced my mates to go down to the river side (under the bridge there), where I stripped down to me jocks and lept in.. fully expecting the lads to be right behind me!

Of course they had 1 brain cell between them and decided that river swimming in February might not be the best idea.

The cold I experienced was unbelievable, my body went into complete shock. I got out very quickly and legged it back to the gaf where I jumped into the shower for the next hour or so.

Bad whiskey, bad bad whiskey

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#40 18-01-2007 11:34AM

Nalz

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leave msgs on the ex birds phone begging for her back...bad form that. I ripped up a 20 euro note one night too, dunno which is worse actually

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#41 18-01-2007 11:38AM

shane86

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Mine was so stupid I required the help of the wise men of boards to solve it

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055021060&referrerid=&

Apart from that, got into some trouble after downing 2 litres of vodka in the early hours of Good Friday last year. Which makes me at least the 2nd and possibly the 3rd in my family to get into serious bother on GF (my uncle was injured years ago when on a session up the North he was hit by a car, pissed as a fart of course)

There is a god, and if you drink on Good Friday he will strike you down

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#42 18-01-2007 11:40AM

Terry

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connundrum wrote:

When out for Rag Week in Carolw IT I decided that it'd be great craic to go for a swim in the Barrow river at +/- 3.30am. So I convinced my mates to go down to the river side (under the bridge there), where I stripped down to me jocks and lept in.. fully expecting the lads to be right behind me!

Of course they had 1 brain cell between them and decided that river swimming in February might not be the best idea.

The cold I experienced was unbelievable, my body went into complete shock. I got out very quickly and legged it back to the gaf where I jumped into the shower for the next hour or so.

Bad whiskey, bad bad whiskey

I lost a t-shirt in the barrow once. long story.

i'm sitting here trying to remember which is the worst on many, many bad things i've done whilst under the influence.
no. i'm not going to go into it here. it's really too personal and sad and ****ed up.
i'll just tell you about the time i got lost on my way home from a house party. walked through some gardens, climbed a few walls and walked through a few fields and eventually found a road. then the cops pulled up beside me, i asked them for a lift home and they delightfully told me that i was getting a lift, but it wouldn't be home. instead i spent the night in a cell after being charged with trespassing. last time i ever drink vodka.

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#43 18-01-2007 11:42AM

YeAh!

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I ran around cork city, past all the nightclubs with my friend in a trolly. We kept hitting the sidewalk and she'd fall out and just get back in. Very, very embaressed the next morning.
However, that same friend was caught by the guards peeing in the middle of the street. Even more embaressing!

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#44 18-01-2007 11:58AM

arseagon

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One of my worst (there have been many) was deciding to take a "shortcut" across a training pitch and running track in the middle of the night. Half way along I decided that this hadn't been a good idea because it was very muddy. next thing i spotted a railing leading down to the running track and decided to head for this, climb over and walk down the steps on the other side.... There were no steps just a pitch black drop, trouble was i'd climbed over at this stage and was so pissed I couldn't pull myself back up. So the only choice was to let myself drop. I still to this day don't know how much of a drop it was, I just remember waking up on my back.

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#45 18-01-2007 12:05PM

sunnyjim

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Hmmm, once I was in Rome with 3 of the lads. There are 2/3 companies who run pub crawls, where you get free drink/tshirts etc. Well anyway, we bumped into a few friends who were interrailing and happened to be in Rome on one of these pub crawls.... Apparently, at the end of the night I was nearly passed out outside on the pavement, and the girls came over to see of I was ok.

"I'm ok"
"Now your not"
"I know... I know.... I'm on herion... Been strung out since '98"

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#46 18-01-2007 12:23PM

Elphaba

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Probably the stupidest thing that springs to mind is one night a few years ago when I was in college. Went out on the lash and was drinkin vodka to beat the band. Vodka always makes me feel dehydrated when I get home so I woke up at God knows what time dyin for a drink. Without turning the light on I reached around on the locker beside my bed and in my drunken state opened the first bottle I put my hand on and took 2 big swigs out of it. Something was wrong and after a minute of sitting in the dark feeling the bottle I realised it was nail varnish remover. Then I just went back asleep (as you do). Was in bits the next day so I was never sure if it was the nail varnish remover or the vodka that did it to me!

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#47 18-01-2007 01:49PM

Steyr

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Was at a mates birthday in his house and he was twatted drunk ( buckfast yup yup ) and he was so out of it he fell asleep so we decided to mess his head up so we all agreed that when he woke up we would act like he didnt exist as in he died the night of his party, so he wakes up, sees us on the couch crying, pretending to be on the phone to the hospital asking "is he really dead" "oh drink poisoning you say" ( all of us crying etc ) asking his brother to ring his parents to tell them their son has died:D and to organise a coffin and ring a priest to come to the house to give the last rights as he is lying on the bed. ( all the time this was going on he was shouting "im alive" look at me, we just acted like he wasnt there ):D

Classic 21ST!

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#48 18-01-2007 04:30PM

Maccattack

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shane86 wrote:

So me and my mate went on the tear Friday night...

That is one of THE funniest posts ive ever read. You rock.

I salute you!

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#49 18-01-2007 06:05PM

Pet

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Forgetting to eat, drinking more, repeat several times, then leaving coat in someone's flat, and having to walk home in this FREEZING weather, after a night on the Second Most Uncomfortable Couch Ever.

Hangover of doom today. :-/

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#50 18-01-2007 09:47PM

Car Mad

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Steyr wrote:

Was at a mates birthday in his house and he was twatted drunk ( buckfast yup yup ) and he was so out of it he fell asleep so we decided to mess his head up so we all agreed that when he woke up we would act like he didnt exist as in he died the night of his party, so he wakes up, sees us on the couch crying, pretending to be on the phone to the hospital asking "is he really dead" "oh drink poisoning you say" ( all of us crying etc ) asking his brother to ring his parents to tell them their son has died:D and to organise a coffin and ring a priest to come to the house to give the last rights as he is lying on the bed. ( all the time this was going on he was shouting "im alive" look at me, we just acted like he wasnt there ):D

Classic 21ST!

Ha ha thats brilliant this one one of the las thought he was going deaf so after a few when he was gone to the jax.We all agreed we were going to pretend we were talking by just moving our lips.He comes back we start moving our lips he starts rubbing his ears we keep on like nothins wrong when he shouts at the top of his voice.Fup i really am gone deaf . We were in the stiches:D

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#51 18-01-2007 10:05PM

Terry

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il gatto wrote:

One night, I came home from work and my brother and his mates were pissed. When my brother drinks, he falls asleep, and when you wake him up, he's like a zombie. He mutters, he doesn't understand the simplest things and he carries on conversations with himself. I was sitting in the kitchen watching T.V., when he woke up in the next room and came in. I heard a noise, but it took a few seconds to regiter. He was pissing on the couch. I shouted two or three times before he came to, and semi-realised what he was at. He staggered off to bed and I had to clean it up. Twat.

I had a lodger who used to sleepwalk.
one night he was hammered and walked into my room. I was in the middle of painting it at the time and my digibox was on the floor. he proceedd to take out his lad and attempt to piss on the digibox. i dived off the bed and woke him before he blew himself up. ****ing dumbass.

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#52 18-01-2007 11:02PM

Carcharodon

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I am taking my most stupid things to the grave, bad memories

A funny one was when me and a friend took a " shortcut" home, we couldn't see much as we went through this field, came to a bit of a drop and couldn't see what was below, he went first and slid down, i asked is it ok, he shouted back yea its fine, slid down and was up to my waist in muddy water, had to climb back up, (took ages) walk down the street destroyed

Got lost in San Francisco once, managed to lose everyone and end up on my own with no money and ended up hanging out with some dodgy dudes in a bit of a rough area, full of crack addicks etc, managed to flag down cop to take me to subway, he ended up being a total freak, thought i was going to be taken to a deliverence scene, bad night....

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#53 18-01-2007 11:06PM

Zombienosh

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Fighting a phonebox, Pissing in a wheelybin, pissing in a letterbox, puking in someones shoe...

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#54 19-01-2007 12:46AM

Car Mad

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julep wrote:

I had a lodger who used to sleepwalk.
one night he was hammered and walked into my room. I was in the middle of painting it at the time and my digibox was on the floor. he proceedd to take out his lad and attempt to piss on the digibox. i dived off the bed and woke him before he blew himself up. ****ing dumbass.

:eek: :eek: You know your not supposed to wake up sleep walkers they could have a heart attack:cool: I would of watched him blow him self up:D

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#55 19-01-2007 12:59AM

bug

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I think the most stupid thing was in my earliest days of alcohol when tried to go across a small river on a mattress.
It sank, I got pulled out.
Since then I do my best impression of being sober when drunk.

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#56 19-01-2007 01:02AM

Alter-Ego

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Throwing about 15 traffic cones across a wall into an esb yard then getting caught and being made put them all back...Oh the shame!!

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#57 19-01-2007 02:19AM

redzerdrog

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pissing seems very common here.
A friend of mine lives with his mate who goes to collage. he came home drunk one night walked into his mates room thinking it was the bathroom and pissed all over evry one of his collage books....

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#58 19-01-2007 02:47AM

Rabies

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A few months ago I went out and got pretty pissed. Normal thing to do at the end of a night is to get a bit of food. Didn't have enough money so I walked home to make a sandwich.

Got home, put the bread in the toaster and got the ham and cheese ready. Mmmm lovely. Went to bed, got up about 1hr later feeling terrible. Left my insides in the toilet bowl.

Next morning my stomach wasn't feeling the best, but I still wanted breakfast. went to get some bread. What I seen nearly made me sick again. The bread was hairy, mouldy and green blotches in places.

In my drunken state that night I never noticed. Toasted the bread and munched away.

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#59 19-01-2007 02:58AM

Peyton Manning

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Hmm, I seem to be able to control myself while drunk. One slightly embarassing thing I did at my 18th mind you, was get up in front of everybody and give a speech, and a toast to those who couldnt be here tonight. Most of whom were watching me.

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#60 19-01-2007 03:12AM

Stargal

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I was on a packed Nitelink home after a very drunken night out when I decided it would be a good idea to phone my boyfriend and have phone sex with him. In front of the whole bus.

Unfortunately for some reason he found my incredibly sexy drunken propositions funny rather than a turn-on, which was not the reaction I was hoping for - apparently having someone slurring down the phone what they want to do to you isn't the sexiest thing in the world.

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#61 19-01-2007 03:15AM

Royale with Cheese

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Went on a rampage when I was living in Germany, smashed up a load of bicycles and eventually smashed the wing mirror off a car near where I lived. I really have no idea why.

Also when living in Germany after a trip to McDonalds at 4am I decided along with a friend it'd be a good idea to rob flowers from peoples windows on the way home. Everyone put these trays of flowers outside their houses where I lived. Took a couple, including one very nice carved wooden box of flowers from a restaurant beer garden, along with one of their lamps. Just left them lying outside my front door and went to bed. My housemates had to take them in the next day to stop people from seeing.

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St00pid things you do pissed...Mega Merge] hic

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