My mum

LegacyUser · 31-12-2006 04:09PM #1

Hi,
For obvious reasonsi am remaining anonymous.

I need advice on a problem with my mum. A few years ago my family split up and i ended up living with my mum. i know that she is taking tablets to stop depression and anxiety but i am seeing these changes in her. She becomes extremely angry and provokes fights with myself and my sisters Saying stuff like how rotten children we are and she has spent so much of her time looking after us and supporting us. the irony is that it is the opposite. myself and my sisters have been supporting her throughout the whole speration and have gone out of our ways to help her. i am just worried that these tablets are messing up her head and i am beginning to realise that i do not want to be around her anymore. she has her own brothers and sisters but from listening into conversations there all as f**ked up as the next. they are very two faced p[eople and when they are around my mum changes into this sort of horrible person. after she does all that shouting at us she then forgives us and says she didnt mean any of it, but its getting to the stage where its almost like a script and i can predict every next situation.

I just want to see if anyone has any advice on what i can do to help her. My theory as i said earlier is that she is changing beause of A) medication and

her manipulating family. all help will be appreciated.

Esel · 31-12-2006 08:35PM

TBH, I don't think anti-depressant or anxiety medication (although benzodiazapene medication - esp Xanax - can be very addictive) would cause the symptoms you describe.

Maybe your mother is not taking her prescribed medication?

You could consider having a private word with her doctor to let them know how things are.

Nevyn · 31-12-2006 08:38PM

Is she seeing a counsellor as well as taking the medication ?
It sounds like she is very frustrated with the way her life has turned out.

littlebitdull · 31-12-2006 08:39PM

Are you sure she is still on her medication? If she has been on Anti-Depression tablets and she stoped her behaviour could go this way.

Are you old enough to aproach her Doctor yourself or with the assistance of your sister. If so make an appointment and explain your worries, if your mother is not telling her doctor how she is then the doctor can not help her.

In the meanwhile when she starts - get out of the line of fire. Try to keep calm yourself and walk away from her and let her have a chance to calm herself ...

The medication should not be changing her into this person, but the lack of it could do. If she is still on the meds then I can only assume they are not working for her. Sometimes a person will have to try out various brands/levels of tablets before they get the one that works best for them.

Can your father help you in this.. I know she and him are seperated but he still has a duty to help you.

1huge1 · 31-12-2006 08:43PM

Is it not possible that you could ask help from your father?

Talliesin · 01-01-2007 01:50PM

jki899 wrote:

Saying stuff like how rotten children we are and she has spent so much of her time looking after us and supporting us. the irony is that it is the opposite. myself and my sisters have been supporting her throughout the whole speration and have gone out of our ways to help her.

It can be hard for a parent to accept help from their children. Hard to accept that its needed, hard to accept the more personal sort of support she needs when it comes from her children and hard to give up on the position that she's the one that supports you as she's the parent.

jki899 wrote:

i am just worried that these tablets are messing up her head

They could well have some negative effects, but they were presumably prescribed for a reason.

Anxiety medication is only ever a stop-gap. Depression medication, especially in what seems to be a reactive depression, is often just a stop-gap. Very important stop-gaps sometimes, but what is she doing to get things sorted permanently?

LegacyUser · 01-01-2007 02:22PM

'thanks for your responses. She was never subscribed the xanax and from what i know she takes every time she is unhappy cos i can see when she is on a high as to say. I am thinking of just moving out completely because the stuff she is saying to me is very hurtful and im not going to lose my temper and steep to her level. nice way to bring in the new year!'

Trinity · 01-01-2007 07:30PM

Anxiety itself with or without medication is very traumatic and gripping.

You feel as though you have no control over it. You feel as though you cant do the things you want to do and you curse yourself for being that way and not being 'normal'.

But often we project that frustration and anger onto others - the ones we are closest to. We find someone else to blame for the way we 'are'.

Its very hard not to take it personally and it sounds like your mother needs more professional help than she is currently getting. I am sure if you approach her about her behaviour she may possibly deny it and it is unfair that you have to be the brunt of her behaviour.

Was she always like this? Is she a nice person generally or a moany minnie i.e. what kind of personality does she have in general?

As Thaed pointed out earlier she may just be unhappy about how her life turned out and feel its too late now.

I used to think my mother thought i ruined her life by being born!! But i know now that couldnt be farther from the truth.

My mum

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