And it goes a little something like this.....

LegacyUser · 29-11-2006 10:11AM #1

Im just after starting a new job on monday. Great job and great people. Plus a few very attractive girls. Ive been getting a feeling that one fancies me a bit. but thats not the issue...

The christmas party is this weekend and the first thing i was asked when i arrived was am i going. ofcourse i said yes.

My question is after only being in the job a wet day, would you see it as acceptable to make amove on the girl at the party if she is single and seems to be happy if i made a move. i just dont want to arrive into work on monday if people will see it as strange

Beruthiel · 29-11-2006 10:21AM

Personally, if I were starting a new job, I would keep my nose clean till I knew the lie of the land.
I've always thought getting involved with someone at work is at best risky anyways.

padser · 29-11-2006 10:42AM

Id say go for it, you only live one. Just ply her with drinks for the first half of the night....and with a bit of luck, she will be easy pickings come 12 or 1 o clock!!!!!

Marksie · 29-11-2006 10:46AM

Beruthiel wrote:

Personally, if I were starting a new job, I would keep my nose clean till I knew the lie of the land.
I've always thought getting involved with someone at work is at best risky anyways.

Yes i learned that at an early age. Work and relationships do not, in general mix well.

You are only in work a very short period. If it goes haywire you could get yourself a reputation.

greine · 29-11-2006 10:51AM

Whoa, i'd definitely hang tough a while, you're not in the place 5 minutes, it could make things very awkward later, take some time to get to know her, i know that sounds old fashioned but hey, she could have a mickey for all you know!!

Get a feel of the place and you'll soon know how the other people think about relationships at work. Use the opportunity of the office party to get over being a newbie, and to allow your colleagues to warm to you, just chill a while, take it easy!

connundrum · 29-11-2006 10:53AM

padser wrote:

Id say go for it, you only live one. Just ply her with drinks for the first half of the night....and with a bit of luck, she will be easy pickings come 12 or 1 o clock!!!!!

A very well deserved :rolleyes:

As Ruthie said, keep it all above board for the moment. Just be normal, have a laugh etc. If you make a move and you fall flat on yer face how embarrassed will you be come Monday morning?

'New guy nose-dives!'

Be normal, socialize as you normally would - if you and her hook up then great, but don't push it.

padser · 29-11-2006 10:59AM

connundrum wrote:

A very well deserved :rolleyes:

Well my thinking is that, if he is getting the feeling she likes him, go with his instinct! I think he needs to avoid the well publicised (Scrubs, Friends) 'Friend Zone', and not miss his oppertunity!

So he risks an awkward day or two, no one holds it agaisnt a guy who takes a chance. Everyone crashes and burns eventually!

Marksie · 29-11-2006 11:01AM

connundrum wrote:

'New guy nose-dives!'

That may be the easy let off. Jeez, if he followed padsters advice it could very well be.

"new guy plys woman with drinks and then beds her when she didnt know what she was doing"

That would be a great way to start work.
Oh boy what an exit strategy

Oh... and i dont know if you know the rules and regs covering sexual harrassment etc. but certainbly in the civil service...the "it wasn't in work" line doesn't count.
You CAN be out on a saturday and then walk back in on Monday facing a charge based on the following reasoning "The actions outside of work Viz-a Viz your behaviour. WILL make me feel uncomfotable in your presence in work."

LegacyUser · 29-11-2006 11:02AM

connundrum wrote:

A very well deserved :rolleyes:

As Ruthie said, keep it all above board for the moment. Just be normal, have a laugh etc. If you make a move and you fall flat on yer face how embarrassed will you be come Monday morning?

'New guy nose-dives!'

Be normal, socialize as you normally would - if you and her hook up then great, but don't push it.

thanks to everyone so far for the advise

Connundrum - your making perfect sence. thanks a mil

30-11-2006 06:37AM

Relationships at work happen. But if I was you, I would not dive off into one at work when just starting a new job.

Colm_OReilly · 30-11-2006 10:06AM

Christmas parties are notorious for hook ups, usually drunken and forgettable.

I'd say it's how you play it afterwards that counts. If you make it into something really awkward it will be really awkward.

I've known quite a few office party romances to blossom into real relationships. In fact a friend of mine popped the question to a girl from his office, so isn't that worth taking a shot?

Now the caveat: If you're plastered, don't saunter up to here and start running game. If you're hanging out with her from the start, and things happen, cool.

Colm

Talliesin · 30-11-2006 11:48AM

padser wrote:

I think he needs to avoid the well publicised (Scrubs, Friends) 'Friend Zone', and not miss his oppertunity!

As seen on TV :rolleyes: You might as well say he needs to avoid the well publicised (Dr Who, Torchwood) cybermen.

Okay, the "Friend zone" isn't entirely fictious, but it is an over-simplification so gross as to be as good as fictious.

A more sensible approach is to turn off the television and weigh up the chances of something good happening (not impossible by any means) vs. the chances of something bad happening (more than a bit likely) and most of all the fact that the OP is new to the position and therefore hasn't got a good lie of the land as far as the social network within the group goes.

If it was a short term contract and he'd be gone in February anyway I'd say go for it, but otherwise get a better idea about how things work in the social dynamic there before doing something that could have a massive effect on where you are going to fit into it.

And it goes a little something like this.....

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