The turn the tracks of an album into a story thread

amp · 08-11-2006 10:53AM #1

It was late when the sun went down and I still had my dancing shoes on. The view from the afternoon had been like reading a fake tale from San Francisco and the people around me looked like vampires. Well maybe vampires is a bit strong but I'd still have taken one home. She looked good on the dancefloor and although she probably couldn't see due to the lights but she was staring straight at me. I could tell that a certain romance was possible but at the time I felt a bit like a mardy bum that had gone from the Ritz to the rubble.

Before I knew it I was hurled into a riot van and the last thing I remembered was a red light that indicated the doors were secure.

boneless · 08-11-2006 11:10AM

He burned all his books and entered a monastery.

Hail 2 Da Chimp · 08-11-2006 11:21AM

A monastery run by clowns... A typical everyday run of the mill monastery.

smash · 08-11-2006 11:22AM

but not ordinary clowns... evil clowns, just like Stephen King's IT!

Lust4Life · 08-11-2006 11:32AM

But one day he escaped and wandered through the woods. When suddenly he came actoss a castle in the distance.
Little did he know this was the Castle Olson.

Oh how Princess Ashley and Princess MaryKate longed to meet a real prince. Their mother had always warned them that they must marry royalty or remain forever a spinster with nothing better to do than shop for cuuuuute shoes on the internet.

It began to storm and our wandering hero grew wet and cold. He had to knock on the door.

The twins were delighted at the sight of this stranger before them. But Mother Olson warned them that they must be sure this man was true rotalty.

She set the servents off to collect a pile of mattresses and stack them high in the guest chambers. Then, she placed a tiny pea beneath the first one.

"If he be true royalty, he shall feel the pea." Their mother assured them.

They lead the wandering stranger into the chambers to show him his bed for the night. He smiled with delight. Such lovely accommodations!

Then, as Mother Olson left the room, the twins offered to help the poor man out of his wet clothing. And Halleluia! They quickly discovered he was close enough to royalty for them!

The wandering hero was suddenly never more happy that he had gotten a Prince Albert!:p

takola · 08-11-2006 11:57AM

Did nobody cop what amp did???? :eek:

sioda · 08-11-2006 12:21PM

All very confusing

boneless · 08-11-2006 12:28PM

On a day in May in 1936, Frank took his car to the local garage for a service. On entering the office to pay the mechanic, he realised that it was not 1936. This meant that the £1 he had to pay was in fact not enough. As he realised it was actually 1984 he began to relate his tale to the dog in the forecourt.

The dog went on to become the Mayor of East Jesus, Alabama and Grand Wizard of the local KKK.

boneless · 08-11-2006 12:51PM

"Pat!! Are you ever going to get out of that bed?" cried Mrs. Padden. She was a small, misshapen woman of great ferocity and vigour.

amp · 08-11-2006 06:15PM

takola wrote:

Did nobody cop what amp did???? :eek:

heheehe. You're very clever.

takola · 08-11-2006 08:06PM

I appreciate your taste in music amp!

amp · 09-11-2006 02:49AM

It was late and night and I was reading a serial thriller by R. K Narayan. The book itself was some funky shit about a firestarter who relied on deisel power to feul his fire. I found it hard to breathe, my mindfields were alight but eventually I aclimbatized. Later that day I smacked my bitch up.

amp · 09-11-2006 02:52AM

takola wrote:

I appreciate your taste in music amp!

Excellent. Give me an album and I will write one for you.

Shiminay · 09-11-2006 03:35AM

Anything from Devourment is would be cool

amp · 09-11-2006 04:25AM

Kharn wrote:

Anything from Devourment is would be cool

It was a dark night in Gotham Asylum. I lurked nervously at the door of our latest patient; a crazed madman that had butchered the weak with no obvious signs of remorse. As I looked in through the re-enforced glass I could see him masturbating at the slab of a bed in his cell. Sheets that had been brought out early were a tomb of scabs that digusted nurses didn't even bother washing, they merely sent them to the incinerator.

This guy was a babykiller, the worse kind of pyscho. He had been found gibbering in a basement in the middle of a bizzare act of autoerotic asphyxiation combined with a battery hooked up to a metal device in order to electocute him anally. As he was taken away the only thing he was shouting was "FUCK HER HEAD OFF"

As I watched my new patient I realised he was mouthing the words "Serial cocksucker" at me and I thought to myself that some people were just better off dead.

----

Kharn, while you may enjoy the above imagery, I do not, but I have completed your challenge nonetheless. No more sick as fuck metal thanks.

Shiminay · 09-11-2006 05:19AM

As always, I am suitably impressed sir!

The imagry doesn't do much for me either tbh, but the music, ah the music...

spacecoyote · 09-11-2006 10:14AM

scriti politi's Anomie & Bonomie please....

Sparky · 09-11-2006 06:35PM

amp wrote:

It was late and night and I was reading a serial thriller by R. K Narayan. The book itself was some funky shit about a firestarter who relied on deisel power to feul his fire. I found it hard to breathe, my mindfields were alight but eventually I aclimbatized.

It didn't stop you smacking my bitch up though

Red Hand · 09-11-2006 06:39PM

This thread was soon to be closed by a moderator who saw it fit to do so considering that there was ANOTHER story thread in tCN, neglected and unpruned for MONTHS!

The End.:)

Sparky · 09-11-2006 06:45PM

I'll tell you this story about a girl.
This one time I felt like I was on a plain, I couldn't complain though. Then this girl tried to rape me, but I said I'd nevermind. Her name was Polly though and she did have a moist vagina. She was all apologies when I said stay away from me because she had tourettes. She called me dumb when I said I would see her by the lake of fire.

amp · 10-11-2006 11:16AM

Sparky-s wrote:

I'll tell you this story about a girl.
This one time I felt like I was on a plain, I couldn't complain though. Then this girl tried to rape me, but I said I'd nevermind. Her name was Polly though and she did have a moist vagina. She was all apologies when I said stay away from me because she had tourettes. She called me dumb when I said I would see her by the lake of fire.

Bravo! And thanks for spotting my missing track.

amp · 10-11-2006 11:29AM

spacecoyote wrote:

scriti politi's Anomie & Bonomie please....

Umm, I was driving long haul from Tinseltown to the Boogiedown and as the sun set fire to the sky I thought to myself "Here comes July". Being a trucker is a different world from the world you understand but it's something I was born to be. Sure there's a chance that I might die alone, but when you thunder down the highway you feel like a prince among men. I remember the first time I drove away from my family and that first goodbye full of tears.
I remember the first break down when I had to adopt the role of a mystic handyman and fix a radiatorl leak, I was brushed with oil, dusted with powder and that's why the mechanic laughed when he pulled up. As he left I thought that it was rich for him to laugh when he worked for a company called Smith n' Slappy.

amp · 10-11-2006 11:31AM

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote:

This thread was soon to be closed by a moderator who saw it fit to do so considering that there was ANOTHER story thread in tCN, neglected and unpruned for MONTHS!

The End.:)

I probably should change the title. Thanks for your feedback.

Donegal Lass · 10-11-2006 03:28PM

I had a Nice Dream last night. I dreamt that i was Just gazing out my window, past the Fake Plastic Trees and up high into the Black Stars. I had sailed to Planet Telex and was stranded there as i had been left High and Dry whan my shody spaceship crashed. I breathed deeply through my Iron Lung that was so heavy it almost seemed Bulletproof....I Wish I Was. I decided to take a walk and suddenly it seemed that the Street Spirit had faded into darkness. I knelt and started to Sulk as my thoughts raced deeply into The Bends of depression. I faded and faded further until all that was left of me was Bones. I awoke in the still of the night to find that the dream was one that brought great peace!

spacecoyote · 10-11-2006 03:53PM

amp wrote:

Umm, I was driving long haul from Tinseltown to the Boogiedown and as the sun set fire to the sky I thought to myself "Here comes July". Being a trucker is a different world from the world you understand but it's something I was born to be. Sure there's a chance that I might die alone, but when you thunder down the highway you feel like a prince among men. I remember the first time I drove away from my family and that first goodbye full of tears.
I remember the first break down when I had to adopt the role of a mystic handyman and fix a radiatorl leak, I was brushed with oil, dusted with powder and that's why the mechanic laughed when he pulled up. As he left I thought that it was rich for him to laugh when he worked for a company called Smith n' Slappy.

thank you please

amp · 10-11-2006 04:16PM

Donegal Lass wrote:

I had a Nice Dream last night. I dreamt that i was Just gazing out my window, past the Fake Plastic Trees and up high into the Black Stars. I had sailed to Planet Telex and was stranded there as i had been left High and Dry whan my shody spaceship crashed. I breathed deeply through my Iron Lung that was so heavy it almost seemed Bulletproof....I Wish I Was. I decided to take a walk and suddenly it seemed that the Street Spirit had faded into darkness. I knelt and started to Sulk as my thoughts raced deeply into The Bends of depression. I faded and faded further until all that was left of me was Bones. I awoke in the still of the night to find that the dream was one that brought great peace!

Beautiful

Donegal Lass · 10-11-2006 04:44PM

why spanks

Le Rack · 12-11-2006 11:57AM

Donegal Lass wrote:

I had a Nice Dream last night. I dreamt that i was Just gazing out my window, past the Fake Plastic Trees and up high into the Black Stars. I had sailed to Planet Telex and was stranded there as i had been left High and Dry whan my shody spaceship crashed. I breathed deeply through my Iron Lung that was so heavy it almost seemed Bulletproof....I Wish I Was. I decided to take a walk and suddenly it seemed that the Street Spirit had faded into darkness. I knelt and started to Sulk as my thoughts raced deeply into The Bends of depression. I faded and faded further until all that was left of me was Bones. I awoke in the still of the night to find that the dream was one that brought great peace!

Hail To The Thief! of these songs!

Shiminay · 13-11-2006 02:30AM

If amp won't do it, I will. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Anal Blast's Vaginal Vempire: (NSFW)
Breakfast started as normal, with some menstrual pancakes and a cup with a tampon teabag. I noticed a bit of a crimson smell from the slop hole which was spraying blood. The blood was starting to cover my nipples knees ass cheeks ankles so I said to the hole, it's time to staple your puss lips together and nail a cover in place over with the farm animal hammer, but it slipped cause it was lubed up with blood and ended up squishing a bloody brown mouse. At this stage, I knew it was going to be a bad day, so I sat in to a bloody mary...

Matthewthebig · 13-11-2006 06:49AM

The Great Leap Forward Poured Down Upon Us One Day Like a Mighty Storm, Suddenly and Furiously Blinding Our Senses. We Stood Transfixed in Blank Devotion as Our Leader Spoke to Us, Looking Down On Our Mute Faces With a Great, Raging, and Unseeing Eye. Like the Howling Glory of the Darkest Winds, This Voice Was Thunderous and the Words Holy, Tangling Their Way Around Our Hearts and Clutching Our Innocent Awe. A Message of Avarice Rained Down Upon Us and Carried Us Away Into False Dreams of Endless Riches. 'Annihilate the Sparrow, That Stealer of Seed, and Our Harvests Will Abound; We Will Watch Our Wealth Flood In.' And by Our Own Hand Did Every Last Bird Lie Silent in Their Puddles, the Air Barren of Song as the Clouds Drifted Away. For Killing Their Greatest Enemy, the Locusts Noisily Thanked Us and Turned Their Jaws Toward Our Crops, Swallowing Our Greed Whole. Millions Starved and Became Skinnier and Skinnier, While Our Leaders Became Fatter and Fatter. Finally, as That Blazing Sun Shone Down Upon Us, Did We Know That True Enemy Was the Voice of Blind Idolatry; and Only Then Did We Begin to Think for Ourselves.

All traacks from one album. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Every_Red_Heart_Shines_Toward_the_Red_Sun

Donegal Lass · 13-11-2006 09:30AM

Kharn wrote:

If amp won't do it, I will. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Anal Blast's Vaginal Vempire: (NSFW)
Breakfast started as normal, with some menstrual pancakes and a cup with a tampon teabag. I noticed a bit of a crimson smell from the slop hole which was spraying blood. The blood was starting to cover my nipples knees ass cheeks ankles so I said to the hole, it's time to staple your puss lips together and nail a cover in place over with the farm animal hammer, but it slipped cause it was lubed up with blood and ended up squishing a bloody brown mouse. At this stage, I knew it was going to be a bad day, so I sat in to a bloody mary...

yup, yup theres always one....:D

The turn the tracks of an album into a story thread

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