When pets go wrong

boneless wrote:

Thank the (Lord, God, insert Deity) that nobody keeps slugs as pets...

Zeldar News Group

Zach Buckley, 22, ended up in an emergency room after a violent encounter with his beloved pet slug.

Mr. Buckley slipped on his slug--banana peal style--and tumbled down a flight of stairs resulting in broken bones and a punctured lung. He was rushed to State Hospital, where doctors say he is in serious but stable condition.

The mishap is not unique. Every year almost three people are injured by pet slugs. Slug safety expert, Norm Droll, 36, says that although slugs can be very loving pets that is not always the case. "Occasionally mother nature creates what society would call a 'bad slug,' although I prefer to call them 'good slugs' that make 'bad choices.' Whether or not your slug is bad, certain precautions should always be taken. Keep your slug off the stairs, keep your slug off the floor, and keep your slug away from salt. Never beat your slug."

It is uncertain if Fluffy is a good slug that makes good choices or a good slug that makes bad choices. Droll will meet with the slug when it regains consciousness and make a personality assessment. "Judging from the preliminary facts, it seems that the incident is an isolated freak accident, but I'd like to meet with Fluffy just to be sure." Droll does not think that Fluffy will have to be put down, but will not rule it out. The slug, Fluffy, eight months, was squished under Mr. Buckley's foot and is also in serious, but stable condition. According to sources at the Happy Critter's Small Animal Hospital, the slug hasn't suffered any broken bones, but is severely damaged.