False enthusiasm hurts!

LadyJ · 2006-07-03 13:43:59

Ok,so this is a bit of an odd problem that I have.... I used to be a very polite person and was able to talk to the elderly and listen to them go on and on,with a smile on my face. I didn't mind humouring them. I didn't mind talking to friends' parents and random relations etc. about what I'm doing at the moment,the…

03-07-2006 01:43PM

#1

LadyJ

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Ok,so this is a bit of an odd problem that I have....

I used to be a very polite person and was able to talk to the elderly and listen to them go on and on,with a smile on my face. I didn't mind humouring them. I didn't mind talking to friends' parents and random relations etc. about what I'm doing at the moment,the weather,what they ate for dinner and so on.
I could talk to random strangers at parties and things and pretend I cared about what course they're doing,where they work and all that.

However,now I'm finding it hard to do all of this. I'm finding I have absolutely no energy or will to pretend anymore and go along with the niceties that people expect from you in life.

Not only that but I've discovered over the last while that when I attempt to talk to someone that I have no interest in,after ten minutes or so,I get a sore throat and lose my voice for almost two days!

Perhaps this is a psychosomatic or maybe it's that my voice is more intense when I'm faking enthusiasm,I dunno.

I just wondered does anyone have any thoughts on this.

Also,I'm not putting this in PI because it's not like I need advice here. It's not a major problem or anything,I just wanted to know if anyone else has started to feel this way of late.

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#2 03-07-2006 01:50PM

EWheelChair

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LadyJ wrote:

Not only that but I've discovered over the last while that when I attempt to talk to someone that I have no interest in,after ten minutes or so,I get a sore throat and lose my voice for almost two days!

What the fcuk?

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#3 03-07-2006 01:50PM

Femelade

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LadyJ wrote:

Not only that but I've discovered over the last while that when I attempt to talk to someone that I have no interest in,after ten minutes or so,I get a sore throat and lose my voice for almost two days!
.

huh? thats wierd..

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#4 03-07-2006 01:52PM

LadyJ

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EWheelChair wrote:

What the fcuk?

I know,it's weird but kinda funny in a way,it's like I believe that I shouldn't have to talk crap to the person,so much so that my body stops me!

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#5 03-07-2006 01:53PM

Adam

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Losing your voice is certainly unusual.... I could probably scream solidly for ten minutes without losing my voice, if its happeneing to you after ten minutes of talking I'd worry! :eek:

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#6 03-07-2006 01:55PM

LadyJ

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fade_to_grey wrote:

Losing your voice is certainly unusual.... I could probably scream solidly for ten minutes without losing my voice, if its happeneing to you after ten minutes of talking I'd worry! :eek:

It doesn't happen when I talk to my friends or people I'm interested in talking to though. It only happens when I'm forced to make small talk!

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#7 03-07-2006 02:02PM

casanova_kid

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Eh, do you scream at them?

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#8 03-07-2006 02:16PM

Adam

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That shit's hardcore.

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#9 03-07-2006 02:17PM

Winters

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IS that why your not talkign to me MissJ ?

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#10 03-07-2006 02:25PM

LadyJ

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Winters wrote:

IS that why your not talkign to me MissJ ?

Why do ya think I only ever text you?!

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#11 03-07-2006 02:34PM

Winters

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*cry*

You dont even talk to me on msn or anything. I must be so low

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#12 03-07-2006 02:36PM

LadyJ

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Winters wrote:

*cry*

You dont even talk to me on msn or anything. I must be so low

It's worse when I talk to you on msn. I go blind!

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#13 03-07-2006 02:54PM

Winters

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Why must you hurt me so

;_;

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#14 03-07-2006 02:54PM

Earthhorse

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Nice weather we're having.

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#15 03-07-2006 03:12PM

Miss Fluff

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LadyJ wrote:

I used to be a very polite person and was able to talk to the elderly and listen to them go on and on,with a smile on my face. I didn't mind humouring them. I didn't mind talking to friends' parents and random relations etc. about what I'm doing at the moment,the weather,what they ate for dinner and so on.
I could talk to random strangers at parties and things and pretend I cared about what course they're doing,where they work and all that.

To be honest Lady J, I wouldn't call basic social graces false enthusiasm.

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#16 03-07-2006 03:15PM

LadyJ

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Miss Fluff wrote:

To be honest Lady J, I wouldn't call basic social graces false enthusiasm.

Ok,well whatever you want to call it,it's still an odd problem.

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#17 03-07-2006 03:18PM

mysterious

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I got over enthusiastic about this thread. moving on.

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#18 03-07-2006 03:20PM

Siogfinsceal

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ok the whole loosing your voice stuff is wierd but I know what you mean about the small talk. Its so annoying trying to find things to say to someone you barely know or when you really don't care. Or when someone is incredibly boring and you have to pretend to care because they are a friend of a friend or something. For me the worst is when women keep going on about babies. Now im sure its all v exciting etc but I just have no interest what so ever and get tired of trying to sound interested when someone is going on about baby sick

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#19 03-07-2006 03:22PM

LadyJ

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Siogfinsceal wrote:

For me the worst is when women keep going on about babies. Now im sure its all v exciting etc but I just have no interest what so ever and get tired of trying to sound interested when someone is going on about baby sick

Oh god yeah! This kills me!

I like babies but I don't like when my friend puts his son on the phone to me for no reason!

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#20 03-07-2006 03:25PM

aidan_walsh

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LadyJ wrote:

it's like I believe that I shouldn't have to talk crap to the person,so much so that my body stops me!

Finger cramps next, perhaps?

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#21 03-07-2006 03:26PM

Siogfinsceal

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yup I mean I love my horse but I dont go describing her every movement to my non horsey friends who don't care so I hate when I have to make small talk containing the likes of 'oh and you will never guess what he did yesterday ..arent they so cute when they are that age etc'
or the worst was a girl I worked with who was obsessed with cleaning her house so I woul dhave to try to be polite when she was telling me all this when I really wanted to say 'stop spending so many hrs cleaning and go out and have some fun'

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#22 03-07-2006 04:04PM

Kernel

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Sometimes I get like this, I just have no time for talking to people or pretending to be interested. The only way to deal with it is by either being quiet or by speaking your mind or steering the conversation in a direction that interests you. I dunno, it's a complex condition - can happen when you feel depressed or stressed.

Maybe you feel stifled by acting in a way that's not your true self. Or maybe like all chicks, you're just speaking too much!

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#23 03-07-2006 04:07PM

Siogfinsceal

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sometimes I go through a mood where im just totally honest and blunt with people. Now that doesnt always go down well but sometimes it does cos people are shocked at someone actually saying how they feel rather than pretending to care and talking crap

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#24 03-07-2006 04:10PM

LadyJ

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Kernel wrote:

Sometimes I get like this, I just have no time for talking to people or pretending to be interested. The only way to deal with it is by either being quiet or by speaking your mind or steering the conversation in a direction that interests you. I dunno, it's a complex condition - can happen when you feel depressed or stressed.

Maybe you feel stifled by acting in a way that's not your true self. Or maybe like all chicks, you're just speaking too much!

Always down on the chicks K-man!

I do stay quiet sometimes but in a lot of situations it's just considered rude.
Personally,I'd love to sit in silence with these people but they feel the need to chat to me.

I guess it might just be the fact that,as I get older,my personality is just changing bit by bit and I can't put up with small talk anymore. It's not that I mind that but I just wish that my lack of enthusiasm for this kind of thing wasn't considered to be ignorant.

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#25 03-07-2006 04:59PM

r3nu4l

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Perhaps it's something to do with the amount of dope you smoke?
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054955669

A female friend of mine started using dope every single day and tbh, she soon faded out of our group, totally apathetic to conversation unless she initiated it. Half the time she made no sense and frankly always looked and sounded dopey after a year or two :rolleyes:

Losing the voice is probably psycho-somatic, there's still loads we don't know about the effects of dope on people but psychosomatic effects are known.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?db=pubmed&cmd=Retrieve&dopt=Abstract&list_uids=2347291&query_hl=1&itool=pubmed_docsum

The following predictors were specific for: ...Cannabis: alienation from society.

Doesn't explain the voice loss and PubMed contains no record of cannabinoid use and voice loss

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#26 03-07-2006 05:05PM

WhiteWashMan

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interesting.

now you know how i feel about reading threads on teh AH forum.

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#27 03-07-2006 05:25PM

LadyJ

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r3nu4l wrote:

Perhaps it's something to do with the amount of dope you smoke?
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054955669

A female friend of mine started using dope every single day and tbh, she soon faded out of our group, totally apathetic to conversation unless she initiated it. Half the time she made no sense and frankly always looked and sounded dopey after a year or two :rolleyes:

Losing the voice is probably psycho-somatic, there's still loads we don't know about the effects of dope on people but psychosomatic effects are known.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?db=pubmed&cmd=Retrieve&dopt=Abstract&list_uids=2347291&query_hl=1&itool=pubmed_docsum

The following predictors were specific for: ...Cannabis: alienation from society.

Doesn't explain the voice loss and PubMed contains no record of cannabinoid use and voice loss

That's quite interesting.

I don't really smoke a huge amount these days tbh as it can make me feel a bit withdrawn but perhaps you're on to something!

However,the more I think about it,the more I notice that I do speak in a different kind of way in these situations. As I said,it's like there's more intensity to my voice because I'm trying too hard to sound interested and maybe it's damaging it.

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#28 03-07-2006 06:20PM

Kernel

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LadyJ wrote:

Always down on the chicks K-man!

Who told you about that? Once a year for their birthdays maybe... no, no, not at all.

LadyJ wrote:

I do stay quiet sometimes but in a lot of situations it's just considered rude.
Personally,I'd love to sit in silence with these people but they feel the need to chat to me.

I guess it might just be the fact that,as I get older,my personality is just changing bit by bit and I can't put up with small talk anymore. It's not that I mind that but I just wish that my lack of enthusiasm for this kind of thing wasn't considered to be ignorant.

Maybe you have something on your mind you need to deal with, or maybe you're hanging out with the wrong crowd. You need to spend your time with people who get your mental juices flowing sometimes. I dunno. But I do get like that myself sometimes, so I think a lot of people do? Either that or we are weirdos.

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#29 03-07-2006 06:35PM

LadyJ

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Kernel wrote:

Who told you about that? Once a year for their birthdays maybe... no, no, not at all.

:rolleyes: Relentless!

Maybe you have something on your mind you need to deal with, or maybe you're hanging out with the wrong crowd. You need to spend your time with people who get your mental juices flowing sometimes. I dunno. But I do get like that myself sometimes, so I think a lot of people do? Either that or we are weirdos.

I think it's just that I only enjoy talking about things that I'm passionate about and with old people and friends' parents etc. I can't really do that so I feel as though I'm wasting my breath,so to speak!

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#30 03-07-2006 06:54PM

Pighead

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Kernel wrote:

Who told you about that? Once a year for their birthdays maybe... no, no, not at all.

You told Pighead last week that you never ever go down on the chicks or up their back passages as you felt both activities were both unnatural and disgusting.

As for your problem Lady J. Maybe its time to be a little less polite. Bite the bullet and just tell someone straight out that they are annoying you. After a while you'll get to enjoy the shocked and hurt look on their faces. Make sure that you have more than 1 friends before doing this though.

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#31 03-07-2006 06:57PM

Terry

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Siogfinsceal wrote:

sometimes I go through a mood where im just totally honest and blunt with people. Now that doesnt always go down well but sometimes it does cos people are shocked at someone actually saying how they feel rather than pretending to care and talking crap

i do that too.
i've often told people that i really don't care about X subject.

as for you, ladyj, get yourself a friend who revels in small talk. i have one and i just sit back and let him do all the talking. i say something if the subject interests me, but mostly i'll just sit there and nod/ smile politely.

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