At the risk of sounding like a 12 year old...

LegacyUser · 15-06-2006 02:05PM #1

I'm 18 and I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend. Yes, we were stupid, but it was the heat of the moment type thing and he pulled out before he came. Now I'm terrified I'm pregnant. I know that technically it shouldn't be possible, but... I also know this could be easily solved with a pregnancy test, but that makes it more real somehow...so I thought I'd write here first...

Nevyn · 15-06-2006 03:08PM

Yes but as difficult and as trying as an unexpectant pregancy is and how ever you do or wish to resovled that matter; pregancy or a termnination of a pregancy in these modren times will not kill you.

Hiv will.

IF you had unprotected sex you are at risk for a whole list of sexually transmitted diseases so is your partner.

Yes a pregnacy test will let you know soon enough but testing for sti and hiv is a lot more complex. I sugest that you reslove the pregancy issue and have a long think and a long chat about contraception with your partner and consider sti testing for you both.

Don't take risks with you health and your life.

BoozyBabe · 15-06-2006 03:17PM

Advice? wrote:

I know that technically it shouldn't be possible.

Why do you think that???

OF COURSE it is technically possible.
you had unprotected sex.

It's possible to get pregnant from protected sex even.

Do a test to put your mind at ease, & be more prepaired & responsible next time. Some STI's are for life, never mind a baby!!!

Marksie · 15-06-2006 03:17PM

Thaedydal wrote:

pregancy in these modren times will not kill you.

HIV will.

The treatment for HIV infection now is very good and its is a chronic illness with life expectancy of 20years plus. (when i was studying this virus at uni it had just appeared and life expectancy was only 1-2 years)!!!

However what thaedydal says is absolutely true as there is a range of STIs out there and protection is a wise precaution.
If you know your partners histroy that helps.
It is probably too late for you to take the morning after pill i guess

15-06-2006 03:19PM

Even those its effectiveness decreases a lot after 24h, she still has 3 days to take the MAP... so maybe there's still a chance...

Nevyn · 15-06-2006 03:34PM

the morning after pill may be taken up to 72 hours after unprotected sex.

http://www.ifpa.ie/contraception/emergency.html

and there maybe the futher option of fitting a coil.

'Pulling out' is not a form of contraception or safe(r) sex.
Sperm is presend in the precum that is present at the head of the penis prior to ejaculation. Since it takes only one sperm to unite with the egg for pregnancy to occur, ejaculation isn't always necessary. All it can take in intercoruse and if any of the ejaculate lands close to the vagina and if the area is moist enough sperm can swim from there all the way up into the cervix and onwards to the falliopian tubes.

r3nu4l · 15-06-2006 03:39PM

OP, you are a little misguided in thinking you can't get pregnant just because he did not climax inside you.

I suggest you buy "Everywoman: A Gynaecological Guide for Life
Derek Llewellyn-Jones" to learn more about your body.

STIs are a big issue as Thaedydal said. marksuttonie is right in saying that HIV is treatable (not curable) and you can expect to live 20-25 years but you don't want to die at about 43 now do you?

Also he left out the fact that HIV patients suffer from multiple bacterial and even fungal infections such as systemic Candida infection and Aspergillosis which are notoriously difficult to treat in this patient population. Living with HIV is hell for many people. Treatment for HIV is also incredibly expensive! Extending your lifespan is no substitute for protecting yourself from the virus.

That aside a lot of STIs are curable with antibiotics.

However Chlamydia does not show symptoms and can cause enough damage to prevent you becoming pregnant in later life.

Go to a doctor or WellWoman clinic and tell them you are now sexually active and what happened. Discuss contraception options and risk of STIs. They will happily give you all the info you need and also inform you of any risks you face. Let them educate you. Put your mind at rest and at ease. Doesn't have to be your local GP or some stuffy old fogey either.

http://www.wellwomancentre.ie/ will provide friendly, helpful advice.

Once that's done, enjoy a full and healthy sex life and don't be scared anymore

.

Marksie · 15-06-2006 03:41PM

yes withdrawl isnt great and absolutely no protection against many STIs which are ither present in semen (hiv) or in fluids or lesions or exudate eg.
Neisseria, treponema, Chlaymidia, papilloma, herpes etc.

Also remember that many of these can be asymptomatic (not showing signs) so unless you are absolutely sure... ANY fluid bonding should use condoms

r3nu4l · 15-06-2006 03:46PM

marksuttonie wrote:

ANY fluid bonding should use condoms

but don't use them on your tongues when kissing each other, unless they're flavoured perhaps???:)

Marksie · 15-06-2006 03:51PM

r3nu4l wrote:

Also he left out the fact that HIV patients suffer from multiple bacterial and even fungal infections such as systemic Candida infection and Aspergillosis which are notoriously difficult to treat in this patient population. Living with HIV is hell for many people. Treatment for HIV is also incredibly expensive! Extending your lifespan is no substitute for protecting yourself from the virus.

Yep, absolutely right. I just classed it as a chronic illness
I also neglected to say that chances are GREATLY improved by early diagnosis and treatment! Even if you are well an initial treament with anti-HIV drugs can be very beneficial accordding to the latest research. So if in any doubts get yourself tested.

However the dictum, the best cure is prevention!

Marksie · 15-06-2006 03:52PM

r3nu4l wrote:

but don't use them on your tongues when kissing each other, unless they're flavoured perhaps???:)

u can get em for fingers, why not tongues!

cheeky_guy · 15-06-2006 04:49PM

Lol, the chances of her boyfriend being HIV positive? i think the thought is laughable. He's your boyfriend for gods sake, not some random junkie you met on the street!! Every single person has just drawn out the worst possible senario for here. Talk about a negative bunch!!

15-06-2006 04:52PM

cheeky_guy wrote:

Lol, the chances of her boyfriend being HIV positive? i think the thought is laughable. He's your boyfriend for gods sake, not some random junkie you met on the street!! Every single person has just drawn out the worst possible senario for here. Talk about a negative bunch!!

Yeah, because bad things never happen and noone gets STIs ever :rolleyes: You do realise that there are far more STIs than HIV and that one doesn't have to be a junkie to catch them?

Nevyn · 15-06-2006 04:56PM

Dental dams.

Nevyn · 15-06-2006 05:01PM

cheeky_guy wrote:

Lol, the chances of her boyfriend being HIV positive? i think the thought is laughable. He's your boyfriend for gods sake, not some random junkie you met on the street!! Every single person has just drawn out the worst possible senario for here. Talk about a negative bunch!!

Not negative realistic.
Just becuase someone is your boyfriend unless both parties have no sexual past at all and are virgins then there are risks.
When you sleep with someone you open yourslef up to all the people they have slept with before and then the people those people have slept with.
Testing and practicing safe sex practices are the only ways to protect yourself.

http://www.breakingnews.ie/2006/06/15/story263394.html

The Government was today urged to take further steps to tackle sexually-transmitted infections as it emerged the number of cases has quadrupled in the decade between 1994 and 2004.

Dublin Aids Alliance Executive Director Ann Nolan warned these increases coupled with changing patterns of sexual behaviour may signal a future increase in HIV.

r3nu4l · 15-06-2006 05:04PM

Thaedydal wrote:

Dental dams.

For oral sex fine

but for kissing? Yurgh!

cheeky_guy wrote:

Lol, the chances of her boyfriend being HIV positive? i think the thought is laughable. He's your boyfriend for gods sake, not some random junkie you met on the street!! Every single person has just drawn out the worst possible senario for here. Talk about a negative bunch!!

The girl is obviously confused about simple issues such as what may or may not get you pregnant, no harm in highlighting other issues as well. I work voluntarily with young people and you simply would not believe how much they do not know!

In a discussion on STIs one young guy (16) told me that you couldn't get HIV unless you were gay and a girl (17) told me that only guys got HIV and they couldn't pass it on to a girl unless they had sex during her period (contradictory and wrong on both counts!). So I'd rather outline the possibilities to this girl, have her talk to a professional and then get on with and enjoy her sex life.

As for the chances of the bf being HIV positive...what you can tell just by looking can you? Psychic powers perhaps? HIV does not discriminate based on age and if he's had unprotected sex before the chance exists.

cheeky_guy · 15-06-2006 05:06PM

I dont believe any of that!! I think STI's are blown way out of proportion. Id say 90% of the girls ive slept i never used any protection. They never asked me to so i never offered and ive never even got a whiff of an STI. The girl im with at the moment is insisting on them however but i reckon another couple of days and il have persuaded her to stop. Besides does no one think, if a girl looks healthy and is respectable that the chances of her having an STI are very slim and the chances that you might actually catch it are even slimmer, providing youre in good health??

And i seriously hope that there is not anyone in the whole WORLD that would actually consider using dental dams or whatever they are!!

15-06-2006 05:09PM

cheeky_guy wrote:

I dont believe any of that!! I think STI's are blown way out of proportion. Id say 90% of the girls ive slept i never used any protection. They never asked me to so i never offered and ive never even got a whiff of an STI.

Please tell me that you're trolling. Please. Seriously.

Have you ever even been tested? Have they?

The girl im with at the moment is insisting on them however but i reckon another couple of days and il have persuaded her to stop.

Have you both been tested first?

Besides does no one think, if a girl looks healthy and is respectable that the chances of her having an STI are very slim and the chances that you might actually catch it are even slimmer, providing youre in good health??

STIs don't sit around and say "wow, they look respectable, better stay away from them".
Geez, if you're actually being sincere here, no wonder it's such an issue...

meepins · 15-06-2006 05:11PM

ahah , you have to be joking right?

aidan_walsh · 15-06-2006 05:13PM

cheeky_guy wrote:

I dont believe any of that!! I think STI's are blown way out of proportion. Id say 90% of the girls ive slept i never used any protection. They never asked me to so i never offered and ive never even got a whiff of an STI. The girl im with at the moment is insisting on them however but i reckon another couple of days and il have persuaded her to stop. Besides does no one think, if a girl looks healthy and is respectable that the chances of her having an STI are very slim and the chances that you might actually catch it are even slimmer, providing youre in good health??

You do realise that there are infections that can be very, very dangerous, and show almost no visible physical symptons, right?

And you want to convince your girlfriend to stop using condoms. I presume you have another form of contraception in mind?

r3nu4l · 15-06-2006 05:14PM

Must be trolling but if not there is a bright side! Capture cheeky_guy, put him down and hey presto incidence of STI infection in Ireland drops within months

Rogueish · 15-06-2006 05:17PM

r3nu4l wrote:

Must be trolling but if not there is a bright side! Capture cheeky_guy, put him down and hey presto incidence of STI infection in Ireland drops within months

I like your thinking

Dirk Gently · 15-06-2006 05:18PM

I think people are failing to link cheeky guys posts with his name.

He's a cheeky guy, don’t work yourselves up about it, he's just going to give more cheek back. Ignore him and let him find his way to after hours where his cheek will be more appreciated.

cheeky_guy · 15-06-2006 05:25PM

No i am certainly not joking!! Surely there is someone else on here that can releate to what i am saying. And surely there are other people on here that are laughing at the thought of using 'dental dams' when giving oral sex. 'Sorry babe ive just gotta stick these in' LOL!

No i have enver been tested and to be honest the thought of going into an STI clinic does not appeal to me very much. Have none of the other fellas out there ever ended up in bed with a girl, had no protection and just went for it anyway? STI's are a load of hype as far as im concerned. Sure some people do catch them but if you watch who you are sleeping with and as i said already, are in good health, i dont think you would ever really catch them!! SOmeone must agree?

aidan_walsh · 15-06-2006 05:27PM

if you watch who you are sleeping with and as i said already, are in good health, i dont think you would ever really catch them!!

And how, pray tell, do you know if a person has an STI or not unless they get tested? Do they turn purple? Cough funny?

Nevyn · 15-06-2006 05:38PM

cheeky_guy wrote:

No i have enver been tested and to be honest the thought of going into an STI clinic does not appeal to me very much. Have none of the other fellas out there ever ended up in bed with a girl, had no protection and just went for it anyway? STI's are a load of hype as far as im concerned. Sure some people do catch them but if you watch who you are sleeping with and as i said already, are in good health, i dont think you would ever really catch them!! SOmeone must agree?

Proof that we desperately NEED a health and fact based sexualy education program in all secondary schools.

http://www.afraidtoask.com/STD/index.html

NO one who has any sense will agree.

Go read and educate yourself in just how wrong you are, then go and get tested and pray you don't have anything too serious and have a good think about all the people you have passed it on to.

A person can be HIV postive and not know it and have no symtoms for years.
There are many other sti that have no tell tale signs.

St_Crispin · 15-06-2006 06:02PM

cheeky_guy wrote:

No i am certainly not joking!! Surely there is someone else on here that can releate to what i am saying. And surely there are other people on here that are laughing at the thought of using 'dental dams' when giving oral sex. 'Sorry babe ive just gotta stick these in' LOL!

No i have enver been tested and to be honest the thought of going into an STI clinic does not appeal to me very much. Have none of the other fellas out there ever ended up in bed with a girl, had no protection and just went for it anyway? STI's are a load of hype as far as im concerned. Sure some people do catch them but if you watch who you are sleeping with and as i said already, are in good health, i dont think you would ever really catch them!! SOmeone must agree?

It's like playing a lottery. The more often you play the greater the chance that your number will come up.
And your health has very little to do with it. If you're really ill with a crap immune sys your chances may go up, but you still stand a pretty good chance of catching it.

Another good comparison would be comparing it to eating raw meat (maybe a bit ick of a comparison). Sometimes you'll get off scott free because there won't be anything wrong with it. But eventually you'll get samonella or botulism or something just as nasty. So you cook it every time.

I trust my gf, but I don't trust everyone she slept with. Or everyone that her ex's slept with etc...
Not using a condom is an unnessecary risk. And if you think you're just going to be lucky you're an idiot.

Strokesfan · 15-06-2006 07:12PM

Don't panic!!! It's okay, try the mornin after pill if you're within the time limit, it was an accident I'm sure and you've learned from it... More often than not scares are scares and if it's more there are a lot of roads you can go down.
A very good way of assessing the likelyhood is to remember back to the first day of your last period (a calender might be good for this) and then count the days until you come to the day you had unprotected sex. ( Including the days during your period ) i think between the 14th and 18th day of your cycle you may be most at risk of pregnancy so if you're not around this day - there is a good probabilty that you're not pregnant. Anything is possible but don't panic - get over your pregnancy worries before you worry about STI's this time if you're totally wound up.

*marie* · 16-06-2006 12:20PM

cheeky_guy wrote:

No i have enver been tested and to be honest the thought of going into an STI clinic does not appeal to me very much. Have none of the other fellas out there ever ended up in bed with a girl, had no protection and just went for it anyway? STI's are a load of hype as far as im concerned. Sure some people do catch them but if you watch who you are sleeping with and as i said already, are in good health, i dont think you would ever really catch them!! SOmeone must agree?

A load of hype?? Oh dear.

Marksie · 19-06-2006 02:44PM

Incidence of STIs in Ireland is on the increase:
and as was pointed out earlier there are many other sti's than HIV

Cheeky guy, if he is serious is sticking his head in the sand somewhat.
Whan he says its out of proportion..
My rpimary degree was mmicrobiology and i still keep up with the subject.

It would be a lot easier if all those who had an infection or latent infection showed up with a red dot on them , but they dont.
And dont forget a carrier state occurs in many.
OK for cheeky guys benefit here is a list of common stds:
Hiv
Hep b.
Gonnhorroea
syphilis
Genital warts
herpes (type I and II now interchangeable)
Trichomona vaginalis
Chlaymidia
Candida (yes its classed as an sti)

Interestingly, a study in the states of college students showed that genital warts was extremely common with 30% of people having had them.
HPV the casuative agent of warts is implicated in cervical cancer.

So before cheeky guy rethinks his girlfriend using condoms, maybe he should rethink his attitude

r3nu4l · 19-06-2006 03:09PM

marksuttonie wrote:

Candida (yes its classed as an sti)

Candida is not an STI:

http://www.healthpromotion.ie/uploaded_docs/hput00039.pdf

http://www.nehb.ie/youthhealthne/sex%20health%20stithrush.htm

My PhD investigated treatment Candida albicans infection and resistance to therapies such as azole antifungals and Amphotericin B. I attended a lot of congress meetings and have never heard Candida described as an STI.

Candida can be passed on through sexual contact but it is not an STI! It is a normal body commensal that in certain conditions flourishes.

Most of what you have said above is corerct but that bit is not!
Can you supply a link that shows Candida considered as an STI? It would be interesting to read it.

At the risk of sounding like a 12 year old...

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