Irish Classifieds

> Grossly overweight Louth turfcutter, 42 years old and 23 stone,Gemini,
> seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions,
> candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own
> car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08
>
> Following a sad recent loss, teetotal Tipperary man, 53, seeks
> replacement
> mammy. Must like biscuits and answer to the name Minnie. Thurles area.
> Box 08/73
>
> Galway man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box
> 06/03
>
> Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in
> pints, fags, Glasgow Celtic football club and starting scraps on Patrick
> Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82.
>
> Bitter, disillusioned Kerryman lately rejected by longtime fiancee
> seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in
> this
> cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box 53/41
>
> Ginger-haired Galwegian trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after
> a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe
> more.
> Box 84/87
>
> Artistic Clare woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach,
> writing
> poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks
> mystic
> dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like
> little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach
> essential. Box 12/32
>
> Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will
> include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social
> functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 23/45
>
> Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the
> arse end of Roscommon seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady with big
> chest. Box 40/27
>
> Devil-worshiper, Offaly area, seeks like minded lady for wining and
> dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering cats
> in
> cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 52/07
>
> Attractive brunette, Macroom area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition
> at
> Jolenes Nightclub, Macroom, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic man
> who's not afraid to cry for long nights spent comfort drinking and
> listening to
> old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41
>
> Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for
> the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm. Box 30/41