Confused... (About A Girl)

Umaro · 29-05-2006 3:30pm #1

I know my problem is kind of trivial compared to the others on this board.. but if you can help me it's much appreciated!

I was at a mate's birthday party there a week and a half ago and I met this girl who I'd kind of half-known from other parties, she'd always been with her boyfriend at them though. Anyways, her boyfriend of 2-3 years had broken up with her a week or two before the party. So we got on fairly well during the course of the night, she ended up falling asleep a few hours before the party finished so the rest of us just carried on drinking.

A few days later I found her on Bebo and we exchanged a few messages, and then she added me on MSN after finding out my MSN address off someone else's page. So we talked for ages on MSN flirting back and forth and stuff, and I asked for her number and she asked why, and I said "for the obvious reason" and then she asked for mine. So we exchanged numbers.

(from the MSN conversation, I havent bothered to change the txt speak - you might want to skip it) :

Me: can i get your number b4 u go?
Her: U r such a bad influence cnt believe u have me slagging brian ... hes so innocent
Her: well dat depends on y u want it
Me: I think you just want to be led astray... you are just a lil naughty school girl u kno.
Me: i want it for the obvious reason duh
Her: which is
Me: to
Me: be
Me: able
Me: to
Me: contact
Me: you
Her: led astray my arse
Me: whatever youre into
Her: how many times im not 17
Her: n d only uniform i have is my nurses uniform n not 1 of those pvc ones a proper one
Me: i see.
Me: i'm gona hit the hay then!
Her: ok my number is 0875555555
Her: n its not to b used in any inapprpriate manner
Me: am i meant to read between the lines?
Her: so can i have urs
Me: why do you want mine??
Her: ah so i know who is sending me sexually harrassing msgs
Her: obvioulsy
Me: do u want sexually harassing msgs?
Her: no but i doubt datll mak a difference
Me: wow
Me: thats hot.
Me: my no. is 0876666666
Me: after 11 it becomes a sex-chat line.
Me: gimme a ring and i'll sort you out
Her: im sure u wud
Her: anyways goodnight im stiil waiting for brian to say goodnight so i can log off n go 2 bed
Me: hah
Me: okay
Me: b4 i go
Me: do u want me 2 txt u?
Her: (My name) come on now I'm not that bad that u have to ask my pemission to text me!!

So she started texting me at all hours every day (sometimes drunk at 3a.m.) kind of flirting in the messages and I responded with the same sort of stuff. Eventually I ask her out and she replied "...ah no tho.. dnt kno wat i wud sey 2 dat, i jus outa relationship n easin my way bac 2 single lif slowly. but hopn dat dis dusnt mean i wont hear frm u"

So from that I'm taking a big "NO" but I still can't understand why the hell she's still texting me every day (she's sent me about 40 txts of the space of 3 days o_0 ). I figured we'd stop txting each other once she'd said no, because I don't really want/need her as a friend. Is it that she just wants attention now? (She didn't seem that sort of type) Or am I supposed to be persistent? At the moment I think I should give up on her, but then again I'm on medication that makes me sort of depressed (top medication that!) so my view is going to be completely biased :-S

I don't really mind a huge amount that she said no but she was the first girl that had shown (a small bit of) interest in me in ages so I'm just confused as to what I did wrong or how I misread her.

Thanks for any help..

Crucifix · 29-05-2006 3:36pm

I know this is non-productive....but god I hate text speak.
I think the most obvious answer is she doesn't want to go out with you (or possibly anyone at this point), but she does want to chat with you and so on. Whether there's potential there down the line is anyone's guess.

Magic Pips · 29-05-2006 3:36pm

sounds like she's interested but not lookin for anything serious.. so ask her out as mates... intimate that theres no pressure...

Kermitt · 29-05-2006 3:42pm

BE PATIENT. When my girlfriend and I first met, both of us were just out of relationships. We spent 4 months texting each other almost every day before we met up again, 6 months later we've fallen in love and are very happy together. Not the way for everyone, but it can happen. Don't expect miracles instantly.

BTW I'm 22 so it's not like it was a teenage thing before anyone jumps on it.

dar83 · 29-05-2006 7:05pm

Umaro wrote:

I figured we'd stop txting each other once she'd said no, because I don't really want/need her as a friend. Is it that she just wants attention now? (She didn't seem that sort of type) Or am I supposed to be persistent? At the moment I think I should give up on her, but then again I'm on medication that makes me sort of depressed (top medication that!) so my view is going to be completely biased :-S

Ask her what she wants from you. She obviously wants to flirt and have a laugh by the sounds of things, but if she's still coming out of the relationship thing and wants to enjoy single life for a while, then maybe she just wants some fun.
Ask her what she expects from you straight out, trust me, it's the best way to deal with someone like that, that you think you may end up really liking. Either sort out early on if its a fun and games type of relationship, or whether she wants another friend (which is what you dont want).

If she gives you hope for the future then play it cool. Appearing to lose interest after a week or two may subtely show her that you're not gonna just hang around and wait for her, but that you're capable of moving on if she doesn't look like moving on and giving you a chance. If she likes you enough you may just nudge her in the right direction.

Be cool hgr, be cool and she will come.

Chucky the tree · 29-05-2006 7:18pm

Your her re-bound guy. Failry obvious.

Reaons she acting like this are:
1.Shes just broken up with her fella. the attention from another guy is great. YOur the first one that came along so thats why shes being so flirty.

2.It makes her feel wanted after just finsihing a relationship. Its something to keep her mind off the ex(hence the reason she is texting you so often).

3.She'll use it as a tool to maker her ex jealous.

Now, the question is do you mind being the rebound guy? I would be very supirsed if something serious happens. Again you will have to wait along time if it does. Is it worth it? unlikely.

Shes single for the first time in 2 odd years. Shes gonna enjoy as much as she can. On the pull everytime she is out for awhile. Flirting with plenty of guys.

If i was you i would play it cool. Shes going to be gagging for the cock soon enough, make sure your there to obilgue her when she wants. Dont ask her out again. Do even hint at it being anything serious. Just try and become her ****-buddy if you can. Thats the best you will get out of it.

However if you like her alot. End it now. You will only end up getting hurt.

pantar_dubh · 29-05-2006 7:20pm

Is this real? If so, I don't understand why you reproduced her text speak for the world to see on boards.ie, if you had any interest in her, or her privacy for that matter.

Chucky the tree · 29-05-2006 7:29pm

pantar_dubh wrote:

Is this real? If so, I don't understand why you reproduced her text speak for the world to see on boards.ie, if you had any interest in her, or her privacy for that matter.

How are we going to find out who she is from that?

pantar_dubh · 29-05-2006 7:41pm

Chucky the tree wrote:

How are we going to find out who she is from that?

That's not the point. Would you want what you thought was private between someone else and you plastered all over some board, obviously without your permission?

Secondly, how does he know she does not frequent these boards? How about one of her friends? It's surprising how small the world now is, and we are speaking about a popular board in Ireland, too. How would she feel seeing her private communications appear here without her permission?

Zillah · 29-05-2006 7:54pm

Man, from that little MSN exerpt it really seems like you're trying to be really flirty and she's really not. Its like you're forcing flirtiness into the conversation and she has no intention at all.

And frankly, if you have no interest in her as a friend then what the hell are you trying to do, arrange a one night stand? Or do you have some insane idea of what a relationship is?

Chucky the tree · 29-05-2006 7:56pm

pantar_dubh wrote:

That's not the point. Would you want what you thought was private between someone else and you plastered all over some board, obviously without your permission?

If it was the one posted here i wouldnt care. Its not like there is anything shocking in it, or something that would make me look bad.

pantar_dubh wrote:

Secondly, how does he know she does not frequent these boards? How about one of her friends? It's surprising how small the world now is, and we are speaking about a popular board in Ireland, too. How would she feel seeing her private communications appear here without her permission?

How will one of her friends know about the conversation? If she wants it kept private she wont be telling/showing her friend it so they wouldnt know.

Well if she does see this thread, she can PM him(or text him which she seems to prefer) and tell him to take it down. Until then we shouldnt continue to de-rail his thread.

ergo · 29-05-2006 8:00pm

it's true that ireland is a small place and reproducing this IM, word for word (while making the thread interesting!) does leave you open to be discovered on here.....by her!

not that you're saying anything bad or anything

anyway, it's true, it's the rebound thing. If you've a real interest in her and think it might go somewhere good and long term then I'd back off and let her sort her head out, it's just too soon now after such a long relationship

Confused... (About A Girl)

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