funny quotes said by friends

blocparty · 11-05-2006 09:01PM #1

just post up funny comments your friends have said.

ill get the ball rolling:
"i wouldnt classify homosexuals as being gay!" - classic

when asked why phones have a vibrate feature:
"its so deaf people know when their phone is ringing"
(just think bout it!)

aidan_walsh · 11-05-2006 09:08PM

You don't have funny friends. Not even Seinfeld "funny".

monkeyfudge · 11-05-2006 09:08PM

"Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my house?!?"

That one cracked me up...

blocparty · 11-05-2006 09:10PM

they werent trying to be funny! they were trting to look smart and put across a good point but that blew up in their face. making their comments funny

sturgo · 11-05-2006 09:12PM

My mate is a classic!

He insisted that Lynx is in-fact an anti-deodorant and not an anti-persperant.

He was cheating in an exam once, and instead of writing his own name on the exam paper, he wrote down the name of the bloke he was copying off.

The other week he told me that they were building a "new Dundrum" down the road from his house. This went on for about 5 minutes. I didn't know what the hell he was on about. Later I discovered he actually meant Dunnes Stores, not Dundrum.

tuxy · 11-05-2006 09:12PM

blocparty wrote:

when asked why phones have a vibrate feature:
"its so deaf people know when their phone is ringing"
(just think bout it!)

A some deaf person getting a text message? I don't get it

Fajitas! · 11-05-2006 09:16PM

"I'm not drunk, I'm wearing my converse" is a favourite of mine.

blocparty · 11-05-2006 09:16PM

excellent point! but his claim was that it was for calls! my mom also made the very same comment when i asked why american house phones have the little red light that flashes when it rings

Bartronilic · 11-05-2006 09:22PM

I don't know why I found it so funny but once a friend said (names changed): "John was a grandad before he was pregnant". You had to be there at the time. What he meant to say was "John was a grandad before he was born" because this John guy is such a man w****.

azezil · 11-05-2006 09:30PM

"say nothing, and keep repeating it"

Pepe LeFrits · 11-05-2006 09:36PM

'You're a dickhead.'

you had to be there

Diarmsquid · 11-05-2006 10:23PM

When everyone in class had to name a fruit (TY, yeah, yeah...), and fruits were running short.
"eh... FIGROLL!"

He wasn't even joking.

The Song Thrush · 12-05-2006 12:00AM

"Oh look, I found an American euro!"

"I thought Lapland was a made-up place, like Kuala Lumpur...?"

"Pharmacology? I didn't know you liked farms..."

steviem · 12-05-2006 12:08AM

sturgo wrote:

My mate is a classic!
He was cheating in an exam once, and instead of writing his own name on the exam paper, he wrote down the name of the bloke he was copying off.

Please tell me yor having a laugh, what a kn***ead!!!!

rainbow kirby · 12-05-2006 12:18AM

"Duplex. It's like Leisureplex, but with Jews."

"I wonder does porn look better on Mac OS X?"

"Women, grab your penises"

"Everything I know about women I learned from smilies"

Oh yes, I have nerdy friends.

Katykaboom · 12-05-2006 07:35AM

"Wait, he's circumcised? Does that mean he can't have kids"?

Thats what a ridiculous amount of vodka will to a girl who got 540 in her lc.

sinjin_smythe · 12-05-2006 07:46AM

"Im not homophobic, im not afraid of my house "

humanji · 12-05-2006 07:49AM

My mates mum is quite religious and made him read the bible one day, after which he told us, "That God is one vengeful mother f***er!"

jaggeh · 12-05-2006 07:58AM

"Thats glad im watched that"

tman · 12-05-2006 08:00AM

said by a drunk friend years ago - "you homo sapiens"
everyone just looked at him for a second and then burst out laughing:p

Spalk0 · 12-05-2006 08:05AM

Ok, my mate said this to me on the train "Next year, i plan to be 6 feet tall":rolleyes: ....muppet

Years ago a mate who aint the smartest couldnt figure out petrol names so he went to the station and said "Can i have a fivers worth of Super Duper please...." nuff said but the attendant played along

Me and my mate walking up the street and we saw a dead cat on the road!normally it aint something to laugh about but when he goes "ahhh.....thats cat aint it?..." i really couldnt help myself!

Slaanesh · 12-05-2006 08:13AM

This was a "you had to be there" moment. My brother and a few mates of mine were drinking down the local. My brother is a small fellah with glasses and looks kinda nerdy, his mate is about 6´4", lives, eats, drinks and smells GAA. He's built like a brick sh1t house.

So this GAA guy Conor is ripping the piss out of my bro. He calmly sits there taking it until Conor stops talking. Then he quitely replies, "Conor .... pick a window."

Yeah, it was definitely a had to be there moment.

Bard · 12-05-2006 08:19AM

tman wrote:

said by a drunk friend years ago - "you homo sapiens"
everyone just looked at him for a second and then burst out laughing:p

I called the school bully a 'homo sapien' once on the bus going home ... with hilarious consequences.

He took massive offence and threatened to beat me up after school the following day.

Oddly enough, he'd forgotten about his threat, the next day

shoutman · 12-05-2006 11:03AM

We were getting chinese and a friend of mine was asking what she should order. Someone suggested that the duck was very nice. She replied "no I hate fish"!?!?!?!!?!

Miss Fluff · 12-05-2006 11:28AM

Who's coat is that jacket?

macnas · 12-05-2006 11:35AM

Two quotes from the same friend, 'Walkie Talkies would be great, imagine if you had two of them' and while out camping he was asked, what if this tent caught fire during the night, he replied 'I couldn't give a sh*te.......... It's not mine'.

CoolGuy2006 · 12-05-2006 11:44AM

My mate said

"Aidan Walsh is the Brad Pitt of Irish media"

HE was trying to tell a girl who had never heard of him before how relevant he is in Ireland. He was totally serious which scares me :-(

for anyone who doesnt know who Aidan is, check http://www.aidanwalsh.com/

the whole year inn · 12-05-2006 01:25PM

heres a few

"Im not stupid, I know the days of the week but I just dont know what day it is"

Talking about where they worked in dunnes
Friend 1 "I worked in the womens department"
Friend 2 "Yea , I worked in Womens clothes aswell"

Customer asking friend where he worked in Dunnes
Customer "Do you work in Shoes"
Friend "Have to its an Help and Safty Issue"

Keep that under your nose

He is riding him like a cow

more just cant remember right now

james

fuzzywiggle · 12-05-2006 01:38PM

Talking about Fm104's The Word, I said to my friend, ''the second word is a plural, what do you think it is?'' Friend says ''Oh..right..eh....several?''

Package · 12-05-2006 01:52PM

my mate gaz is a walking comedy of one-liners..

he has **** loads of them, ill write them all down and post later,....

one or two are

"see a penny, pick it up, throw it over your shoulder"
"thats a sex on legs car"
"there are gremlins living in my sterio"
"i wonder if some humans are aliens"

Cianos · 12-05-2006 02:03PM

"Hmm...whats the best way I can get Kev to shut up, with as little effort as possible" ... "Shut up Kev"

Oh, and describing some Ginger beer drink he took a gulp of and nearly choked on it because it was so rotten;

"I sounded like a Teradactyl dying"

funny quotes said by friends

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