Podge and Rodge quotes...

Got these in a mail and thought they were gas apologies if you've already gotten the mail...

Your' re as welcome as a f*rt in a spacesuit

He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician

As funny as a burning orphanage

He's so camp, he ****es tent pegs

I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes

She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn

Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit

I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust
of *the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.

A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard

Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche

She ' s got more chins than a Chinese phone book

Mother Teresa wouldn 't kiss her

A sniper wouldn't take her out

Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle

If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one

She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked p*ss off a
nettle

She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede

She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab

If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall