give up or wait

Redlancer · 05-05-2006 12:13pm #1

I met a girl a couple of weeks ago when I was out and asked her for her number.She was a cool lady and things had gone ok I spoke to her after that and she said I must have been sweet to get her mobile number out of her.She did tell me however that she was just out of a very serious relationship and could'nt promise anything.We were getting on well then one day she text and said sorry for been a cow.

I said your were not but she did not reply back. I was a bit confused a tried to ring her or text but I got a message this lunch time saying she just wants to be on her own at the moment. She said you are a really lovely guy but I want to be on my own with friends at the moment and then a sorry at the end of it.

Is that it am I benched? Or should I give her time and see a few months down the line. I do really like this one she had everything I would want but has she changed her mind.

She went from saying I was kind,good looking,sweet to needing space.Not good but there must have been something there to get her number and for her to say I cant promise anything but.....

help me out here

Beruthiel · 05-05-2006 12:18pm

I'd say you're benched.
women don't like to be nasty, if they can drop you nicely, they will.

Wing Walker · 05-05-2006 12:51pm

Yep, I'd have to say it's a nice way of being told that she's not interested in guys at the moment. Maybe a quick text some time in the future wouldn't be a bad idea? But most people need time on their own, especially when coming out of a relationship.

Don't forget, there's plenty more people out there to meet. Good luck with it.

um7y1h83ge06nx · 05-05-2006 12:55pm

Yeah you're benched i'd say.

Give her the space she needs, don't burn any bridges behind you as they say, and maybe you'll bump into her again and you can make a move.

Banphrionsa · 05-05-2006 12:55pm

Plenty of fish in the sea.

Zombrex · 05-05-2006 1:01pm

Redlancer wrote:

Is that it am I benched?

Benched?? Dude you should be running away at high speed!

This girl sounds quite confused at the mo and that equals one thing for the guy: head fu*k

As Ban says, plenty more fish ...

Tobias Greeshman · 05-05-2006 1:32pm

The girl has just come out of a relationship and is more than likely a little confused over what she wants. So the chances of getting a relationship out of her is very miniscule (the best I'd say is one-night stand/fcuk buddy).

My advice is to just forget about her, the chance of getting anywhere with her at this stage is very slim, and she did let you down very easy. You got the girls number and talked to her a few times since you met her, so I'd say you've no problems when it comes to pulling women.

The Corinthian · 05-05-2006 1:48pm

It's not going to happen. Move on.

Kiera · 05-05-2006 3:05pm

This very thing has just happened to me. I had to txt him last night and tell him i didnt want anything right now. I had told him this when we met. I told him to txt me in a few months and i meant it. I need a bit of space right now but wouldnt rule out a date in a few months time.

Send her a txt in a few months if you really like her but dont wait for her.

meowCat · 05-05-2006 3:17pm

Benched.

Don't pressure her. Send her a text maybe once every two weeks to see how she is doing of if she'd like to meet for a tea.

Redlancer wrote:

I do really like this one she had everything I would want but has she changed her mind.

I thought you had only just met her. You cannot know after such a short time whether she really has everything you would want! Maybe the fact that she is not really available makes her more attractive right now? We often seem to want the cake we cannot eat.

Stay in touch with her to show that you like her as a person. But don't invest any feelings. Try to keep an open mind about other options.

jrey1981 · 05-05-2006 6:55pm

Give it time, give her some space and see what happens in a month or two

0utshined · 05-05-2006 7:12pm

Let her go.

Drop her a text to let her know you understand. Let her know you like her and to keep your number and txt\call you if she changes her mind.

In the meantime, you need to get out there and get yourself some numbers kid. You're not seeing her so don't get hung up on her, meet new people and have a good time.

tman · 05-05-2006 7:55pm

jebus!
the original post is so similar to something i've been through it's unreal:eek:

almost 4 months on and i'm still debating whether to give her a call...
wish i could offer you some advice man

i guess just give up and try to move on. if she does call you it'll be nice, but don't hang around waiting for that call... just try to move on with your shlt.
(it hasn't been so easy for me, seeing as i have to scroll past her name in my phone book every day to order a taxi. plus she looks just like Heather from Silent Hill 3, so the icon on the desktop of my pc reminds me of her every time i turn on the pc...)

Nevyn · 05-05-2006 8:00pm

Get on with your life, if and when she is ready to move on and she wants she will get in touch in the mean time live your life.

oulu · 08-05-2006 11:41am

Look send one more text saying if she ever fancy's a drink you know where to get me, simple and to the point

Peace · 08-05-2006 11:43am

oulu wrote:

Look send one more text saying if she ever fancy's a drink you know where to get me, simple and to the point

Whatever happens, do not follow that advice. Its pretty obvious she's not into it. Leave her be.

Zulu · 08-05-2006 11:46am

Peace wrote:

Whatever happens, do not follow that advice. Its pretty obvious she's not into it. Leave her be.

Seconded. Leave the dead rest.

oulu · 08-05-2006 3:17pm

Redlancer she likes you that is plain to see some people will always been downbeat like the 2 here who are women haters, but if you like her no harm in sending one more text please say romance is not dead that there are a few of us left,

Peace wrote:

Whatever happens, do not follow that advice. Its pretty obvious she's not into it. Leave her be.

The Corinthian · 08-05-2006 3:29pm

oulu wrote:

Redlancer she likes you that is plain to see some people will always been downbeat like the 2 here who are women haters, but if you like her no harm in sending one more text please say romance is not dead that there are a few of us left,

"You can't make someone love you, but you can stalk them and hope they panic and give in."

Zulu · 08-05-2006 3:30pm

oulu wrote:

Redlancer she likes you that is plain to see...

How is it plain to see exactly?
the fact that she couldn't "promise anything"?
was it that she "did not reply back"??
...or was it when she said that "she just wants to be on her own at the moment"???
...or was it even when "she went from saying (he) was kind,good looking,sweet to needing space"????

I'm sorry, clearly I'm too downbeat, what with all my women hating and what not, to have noticed the sure-fire signs, perhaps you'd be so kind as to point them out to me, and all the other downbeat women-haters here. :rolleyes:

Fanny Cradock · 08-05-2006 3:32pm

Stick around. Send the odd light hearted text/email just to remind her that you are still there. If you play it cool and don't put her under any pressure, who knows what will happen in the future!!!

The Corinthian · 08-05-2006 3:52pm

Fanny Cradock wrote:

who knows what will happen in the future!!!

A barring order.

Fanny Cradock · 08-05-2006 4:18pm

I love the positive outlook :rolleyes:

Besides, I don't think you can get a barring order for texts and emails... apparently

oulu · 08-05-2006 4:52pm

She needs space but also I get the feeling she would have gone on a date with you at a different time in her life, this way if she does go out with you it would not be on the rebound , free advice life is to short I know of many different people who asked many times before they got a date of the person they where chasing , same people happy with kids the full works, if you go throught life and ask a girl for a date once and she says no then you dismiss her from your thoughts ie I dont ask twice , she got her chance etc then good look to you, I think he might have met his sole mate that is for him to find out remember girls like to be chased and most like to be caught, so if you think she is worth dont let her mixed feelings stop you from finding your destiny

ferdi · 08-05-2006 4:55pm

give up, another crazy female playing mind games/

Zulu · 08-05-2006 7:49pm

oulu wrote:

She needs space but also I get the feeling she would have gone on a date with you at a different time in her life, this way if she does go out with you it would not be on the rebound , free advice life is to short I know of many different people who asked many times before they got a date of the person they where chasing , same people happy with kids the full works, if you go throught life and ask a girl for a date once and she says no then you dismiss her from your thoughts ie I dont ask twice , she got her chance etc then good look to you, I think he might have met his sole mate that is for him to find out remember girls like to be chased and most like to be caught, so if you think she is worth dont let her mixed feelings stop you from finding your destiny

Oh use a full stop, for the love of God.
Some people like to be chased, but most like to be left alone when they ask to be left alone. It pedends - do you want to be pushy and possiably piss someone off, or would you rather be sound?

Oulu - you've read alot form the origional post, do you know something we don't? ...or are you just pulling all this out of your a$s?

oulu · 09-05-2006 7:47am

I dont point out your spelling mistakes so kindly dont point out my mistakes I think I do ok for a fellow who left school at 13 [ pedends -

Zulu · 09-05-2006 8:23am

If it means you'll start using full stops, please feel free to point out my spelling mistakes.

oulu · 09-05-2006 10:08am

There was a great Irish writer who did the same was it kavanagh or O Casey or someone else

Zulu wrote:

If it means you'll start using full stops, please feel free to point out my spelling mistakes.

Zulu · 09-05-2006 10:19am

oulu wrote:

There was a great Irish writer who did the same was it kavanagh or O Casey or someone else

...and your not him. Care to stay on topic?

The Corinthian · 09-05-2006 10:33am

oulu wrote:

There was a great Irish writer who did the same was it kavanagh or O Casey or someone else

Joyce - and half of his stuff is unreadable as a result, regardless of how many ponces get dressed up to go out in Dublin in mid-June.

Anyhow, what’s the point here? Half of the posters on boards are nigh on illiterate anyway, so chastising one is not going to make it any easier. Just not reading the After Hours board makes it easier, and I’m happy enough with that compromise.

Returning to the topic at hand, I suspect it’s taken its course. Most people would seem to have advised it’s a lost cause (or at least one not worth pursuing), except for a few, such as oulu. The OP can take from that as he sees fit. Case closed, TBH.

oulu · 09-05-2006 10:41am

You started it remember and of course I am not him he is dead now back to the topic all I said was send one more text only this will let her know he likes her , then he can go about his business chasing other fine little fillies and if she is over her issues in say 2 mths and if she likes him she can then text him so what harm is one more text

Zulu wrote:

...and your not him. Care to stay on topic?

Kiera · 09-05-2006 10:56am

oulu wrote:

so what harm is one more text

It screams "stalker". No more txt's for now. Just leave it for a few months or forever. Do not take oulu's advice please.

Zulu · 09-05-2006 11:24am

oulu wrote:

You started it

:rolleyes: What are you, 12?

what harm is one more text

She blanked him. He didn't get the hint.
She told him she wanted to be on her own. He persued.
She told him she needed space.

He's had 3 red cards. You are recommending he goes for a forth.
Whats the harm? ...well I suppose plenty of people see no harm in harassing people, if thats a road you want to go down.

<I'm not suggesting the OP as harassed her, but I do believe he's persued this as far as he should.>

oulu · 09-05-2006 12:19pm

, but I do believe he's persued this as far as he should. and I think he has not one text more is no harm remember you have your opinion and I have mine I,m married are you my guess no

The Corinthian · 09-05-2006 12:29pm

oulu wrote:

, but I do believe he's persued this as far as he should. and I think he has not one text more is no harm remember you have your opinion and I have mine I,m married are you my guess no

If you’re married, this is pretty irrelevant experience as all it might prove is it worked on one woman. Indeed, if you got and stayed married early in life, then chances are you’ve less experience than someone much younger than you now but who has played the field.

Zulu · 09-05-2006 1:12pm

[con,gratulati-ons! y.ou?re ma]rried` ;wel:l done# w/ha+t d.oes, t'his pr-ove exa%ctly?

(see TC's post)

The thing about opinions is - because you have one, dosen't make it right.

Fanny Cradock · 09-05-2006 1:27pm

Lock this ****ing thread, PLEASE :rolleyes:

Beruthiel · 09-05-2006 1:28pm

I'll be handing out bannings if you lot don't get back on topic!
B

oulu
if someone texted me a few months after I'd last seen them, I think I'd be pretty freaked.
I'd be wondering how desperate is this guy to still be texting me after all this time.

give up or wait

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