Oh my god... its broken

LegacyUser · 02-05-2006 4:28pm #1

Sorry if this sort of thing comes up all the time, but ahhhhh, this time its me....

Was on a weekend away with the girlfriend (of 2.5 months). On Sunday we're having sex in the afternoon, and the condom breaks

Now the things to think about/warn others about are
1. She is allergic to latex, so they were the non latex type. Are these less durable?

2. The sex wasn't that rough, I may have rubbed things up and down a bit before going in, but not really more than usual. (I hope this isn’t too graphic for this board)

3. did I look down and see that things did look a bit odd before entering? I never conceived (no pun intended) that it would be broken.

4. It was the first time she pub the condom on me. Are her nails a bit sharp?

5. There was no alcohol involved at all. It was around 5pm in the afternoon. Knowing what I know now I wish it had been 3.30am (see why below)

Anyway, we're both adults (over 26) so the idea that we would find ourselves in this predicament never occurred to me before. I mean this is the sort of thing that happens to drunken school kids.

So we were both cool about it (ish). Went out to dinner. Had protected sex again that night. Got up the next morning. Asked the hotel reception about an on call doctor in the area. He opened at 11, we were there by 10.30. He refused to prescribe the morning after pill(imagine, to an adult, in this day and age). Gave my gf a lecture on his religious beliefs.

we drive silently to the next town (as you can imagine she was in tears). I go to a pharmacy, explain the story. they send us to a local doctor. He writes what is needed.

We return to the pharmacy. The advice is to have a small snack with it. We don't panic, chill out (we had just had a big breakky really)

so a little later we get some soup and sandwiches (12.30). My gal pops the pill, and then starts reading the paperwork.

So here is why I'm not so chilled anymore

1. it says its only effective 84% of the time (that means that 16 girls in 100 got preggers)

2. It says that it works best if taken within 12 hours as it works in 3 ways
a) stops the egg attracting the sperm
b) stops the sperm penetrating the egg
c) stops the egg developing
She took it about 18 hours later

3. It is exactly the right time for my gal to become impregnated.

So the questions are
1. Assuming everything works in the procreation department for both of us, and it was exactly the right time for her, what are the chances of the pitter patter of timy feet coming my way based on one foul?
2. Given that she took the pill 18 hours after, what are the chances of it working?

Just on an aside, I'm also kinda thinking that having sex, though protected and all, a few hours later, was a very bad idea. Would it have made her more likely to conceive?

blahblah06 · 02-05-2006 4:36pm

Hi mate. have been in this situation a lot of times. I know how u feel. was ur gf on the pill before this. if you took the morning after pill you can kind f rest assure nothing will come of it. other then that you can take a test in a few days or wait till the end of the month to see?

Nevyn · 02-05-2006 4:46pm

The IFPA run a pregancy and contrception help line
National Pregnancy Help Line: 1850 49 50 51

The person you would be speaking with will be at the very least a practice nurse and s/he would be able to answer those questions in better detail.

Yes it is harsh but there are still drs like that in this day and age and some flat out refuse to deal in any contraceptives
at all that is why the likes of the IFPA and the Well Womens centres were set up it is not that long ago ( less then 35 years ) that contraception and condoms were for the most part illegal in this country.

I hope things work out well for you and your partner either way.

Genghis · 02-05-2006 4:55pm

Mate, I think that the 12 hour limit thing is something like a best before date. In other words, the manufacturers will warranty their product to work within that time only (well work to 84%, as you read). After that time it is not as if the pill won't work, it is just less likely to be effective.

I heard someone on the radio about 3 months ago, referring to teenage 'emergencies'. Her advice was, even if it was 3 days (72 hours) later, that the 'morning after' pill would still have a strong chance of working, and that it would be better to take it than not.

As someone else mentioned, give the call line a ring. They will be able to tell you about that specific brand and perhaps give you a more expert idea about the real chances at 18 hours.

From reading your post, I think you did everything you could have done. Perhaps for the future try a different non-latex brand, or change your method of contraception altogether.

kittenkiller · 02-05-2006 7:56pm

Jeepers with all the circumstances to take into concideration it seems almost like you get a better response on the biology forum!

The morning after pill works better the sooner you take it but is still considered fairly reliable up to 72 hours after the unprotected sex.
So after 18 hours you should be covered fairly well.
Keep in mind that not all unprotected sex will end up in a pregnancy!

Be super careful with those condoms (advanti?) in the future, maybe try using a lil bit of lube to help things run 'smoothly'.
Try your best to relax & put it to the back of your mind but be prepared for every woman you see inthe next few weeks to be pregnant or have a gaggle of kids hanging out of her. This is not a sign!! Just you noticing things more than usual.
Try not to let your stress get to your girlfriend as this could affect her cycle btw.

Best of luck but chill, you did all the right things after the fact.

Thomas_S_Hunterson · 02-05-2006 8:24pm

Are doctors actually allowed to let their religious beliefs jeopardize a patient??

michaela · 02-05-2006 8:35pm

from personal experience the murnin afta pill works just as good after 18 hrs as wot it wud afta 12 hrs,
but still hope 4 the best n prepare 4 the worst!!!

gd lk

Zillah · 02-05-2006 8:41pm

People can have unprotected sex for weeks/months trying to have a baby before it works.

Don't worry, the morning after pill and a single broken condom mean its highly highly unlikely she's pregnant.

Unless of course you're both some sort of super virile baby making machines...

Nevyn · 02-05-2006 9:21pm

Zillah wrote:

People can have unprotected sex for weeks/months trying to have a baby before it works.

Some people , not all.

Zillah wrote:

Don't worry, the morning after pill and a single broken condom mean its highly highly unlikely she's pregnant.

And thinking like that is EXACTLY when you will end up pregant.

Zillah wrote:

Unless of course you're both some sort of super virile baby making machines...

By the looks of things they are between 20 and 28 and that is when your body is at it's most virlie and fertile.

seamus · 02-05-2006 11:15pm

In terms of how the condom broke, well I wouldn't worry about it. Even in the standard quality testing, manufacturers find that their condoms aren't 100%. Although the bulk of the unreliability in condoms comes from people putting them on

Anything could have happened really. She may have slightly nicked it with her nail and then it tore. She may have not squeezed all of the air out, and then it burst (which is one of the most common causes of failure), or it may have just been a crappy one.

The general rule for the pill is 3 days, but take it asap to get the best chance.

astrofool · 02-05-2006 11:30pm

i'd name and shame the first GP tbh, lest any other boardsie be tempted to avail of their services.

The morning after pill should really be a w/o prescription buy, for over 18's anyway, as they can be responsible for themselves taking it. A GP will usually just check blood pressure and ask a few questions, which can easily be put as a warning on the box.

Also, Thaedydal is right (if a little(lot) on the pessimistic side), so just be prepared for any consequences. Is it worth it for your gf to go on the pill? Providing this is gotten through.

The_Minister · 03-05-2006 1:01am

The GP has the perfect right to avoid prescribing the pill. If he believes it to be murder then he should not be forced do it.

danyosan · 03-05-2006 1:39am

Firespinner wrote:

The GP has the perfect right to avoid prescribing the pill. If he believes it to be murder then he should not be forced do it.

And that is exactly why it should be non-prescription.

dudara · 03-05-2006 7:18am

This thread is not here to discuss the merits of making the MAP non-prescription. Stay on topic.

Beruthiel · 03-05-2006 7:34am

2 week to go wrote:

So the questions are
1. Assuming everything works in the procreation department for both of us, and it was exactly the right time for her, what are the chances of the pitter patter of timy feet coming my way based on one foul?
2. Given that she took the pill 18 hours after, what are the chances of it working?

Just on an aside, I'm also kinda thinking that having sex, though protected and all, a few hours later, was a very bad idea. Would it have made her more likely to conceive?

honestly, nobody here can answer these questions.
this is not a medical board and we are not professionals.
any comments on this thread can be taken with a pinch of salt.
go to another doctor asap and discuss with them.
B

Sleipnir · 03-05-2006 7:37am

danyosan wrote:

And that is exactly why it should be non-prescription.

Seeing as the side effects include ectopic pregnancy and the formation of clots in the blood, that is the worst idea I have heard with regards to contraception.
THere are also no long-term studies into it at the moment and many women would be taking high doses of hormones every weekend. Bad idea.

OP - you're basically got 72 hrs to take it and from what I can see your GF took it within 15 hrs? You're most likely fine (although there's still a 10% chance of getting pregnant even if she took it straight away)

LegacyUser · 03-05-2006 8:41am

10%.... Ahhhhhhh

I accept that this is not a medical board, so thanks to all for their support and anecdotal experiences

To tell you the truth one of the main reasons for putting this up here is to remind people of the risks many of us take every day (well maybe not every day... but often, if we're lucky:)

As for the pill, you can be sure she'll be on it if we have a period mid month

and the prescription/not thing, well I guess in the cold light of day I'm in favour of giving the doctor the choice, as I don't think someone should be forced to go against their ethics, but in the heat of the moment it would give you a bit of a scare.

Though the doc who did prescribe didn't do any tests, just charged his €30

Anyway, lets hope I don't become a cautionary tale for you all to tell in the pub... well I'm hoping anyway (lets face it, everyone loves a good pub story, accept for the guy in the story)

Nevyn · 03-05-2006 9:00am

The oral contraceptive pill is not suitible for all women and neither is the morning afterpill as it is techincally an overdose of the oral contraceptive pill in a very measured dose. It needs to be perscribed and it is not like taking an lemsip there are dangers and considerations to be taken into account and it is not healthy to take more then two morning after pills in a year.

RE*AC*TOR · 03-05-2006 10:50am

I don't think the problem is that the doctor didn't prescribe the pill - moreso that he lectured the girl.

If you want to complain - the medical council is the place to do it.
http://www.medicalcouncil.ie/

alternatively, or simultaneously - the IMO
http://www.imo.ie/

Personally speaking I would complain.

Zillah · 03-05-2006 4:49pm

Thaedydal wrote:

Some people , not all.

Yes, some people, not all indeed. I said nothing about all. You must have misunderstood.

And thinking like that is EXACTLY when you will end up pregant.

I wasn't giving advice about the future, I was commenting on a single incident. You must have misunderstood.

By the looks of things they are between 20 and 28 and that is when your body is at it's most virlie and fertile.

I believe the term I used was "super virile baby making machines". Being between 20-28 does not mean such. You must have misunderstood.

kittex · 03-05-2006 4:55pm

2 week to go wrote:

1. it says its only effective 84% of the time (that means that 16 girls in 100 got preggers)

2. It says that it works best if taken within 12 hours as it works in 3 ways
a) stops the egg attracting the sperm
b) stops the sperm penetrating the egg
c) stops the egg developing
She took it about 18 hours later

Although it is best within 12 hours, it's supposed to be around 95 - 98% effective if taken within 24 hours.

Nevyn · 03-05-2006 4:57pm

No Zillah I didnt ,
but I willl not have anyone posting in an unhelpful and offtopic fashion that can
get you banned from here you know.
The policy of this forum is to adivse that people used contraception and barrier contraception and activily take responsibilty for thier health, sexual behaviour and thier bodies and the consquences of thier actions,
not that oh well you might not get pregant.

Zillah · 03-05-2006 5:10pm

Thaedydal wrote:

not that oh well you might not get pregant.

Ah, but I didn't say "you might not get pregnant", I said "She's probably not pregnant". I was simply trying to give him a little reassurance about something that is already out of his hands. I made no suggestions as to his future use of protection. Everyone should indeed use whatever protections they can, and I said nothing to the contrary.

LegacyUser · 11-05-2006 4:01pm

All is well... Period... if youknow what I mean. I'll not be an example or a pub story just yet.

worrying though. You all be careful now and play safe... like I will from now on... under the watchful eye of modern medicine.

Paladin · 11-05-2006 7:35pm

I think you were perfectly correct Zilla. In terms of the probability, a single instance of unprotected sex is unlikely to conveive. Introduce an unlikely time of month and the probability reduces further. Introduce a morning after pill and its reduced again.

Highly unlikely a pregnancy can occur in this situation, but possible of course.
This is only stating statistical fact, which can be reassuring, but nobody wants to be the unfortunate percentage in a statistic.

Glad to hear all is well. Been through something similar. Lesson learned I guess.

Oh my god... its broken

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