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Scientology Test

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21-03-2006 10:24AM

#1

shroomfox

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Anybody know where you can do the Scientology test for the laugh online and not have to make an appointment with some guys to discuss how crap your personality is? I'm just curious to see what kind of test it is.

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#2 21-03-2006 10:26AM
amazingemmet

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They used to come through my door but then you had to go in to get your results

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#3 21-03-2006 10:36AM
Siogfinsceal

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wouldnt mind doing the test for a laugh all right but I'd just be afraid they would track me down and stalk me to join.!
have to hand it to the creator though - invent a fake 'religion' involving aliens and bizarre theories, make it elite by charging a fortune to be in it and stupid celebrities will fall for it and make you rich!

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#4 21-03-2006 10:50AM
connundrum

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Siogfinsceal wrote:

have to hand it to the creator though - invent a fake 'religion' involving aliens and bizarre theories, make it elite by charging a fortune to be in it and stupid celebrities will fall for it and make you rich!

But, take into consideration that had Scientology been invented 1000+ years ago, it probably would be far more mainstream now.. probably would be directly rivalling Catholicism and Judeasm!

I mean, seriously. If the Bible had never existed up till now, and all of a sudden we were asked to believe ecery story in it and live our lives by it - then we would probably be more sceptical about it than we are about Scientology.. a virgin mother, water to wine, dies than is resurrected tbh :rolleyes:

*I don't subscribe to Scientology Weekly, honest

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#5 21-03-2006 10:52AM
Siogfinsceal

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yes but I believe the main gimmick is having to pay for it. typical celebs are the very rich - they have to think that even their religion is better than ours. Its sickening how much money the likes of Tom Cruise are giving to the eejit each year that could instead have been given to a worthy charity

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#6 21-03-2006 10:54AM
shroomfox

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I just did it on www.scientology.org, and I gave fake information so that they wouldn't be harassing my post box. 200 questions, and I felt my eyes glazing over as I did it. I tried to answer the questions to show me in the best light possible, and even then I was seriously deficient in some areas...psh.

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#7 21-03-2006 10:55AM
Sifo

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heres a quick one - post what reply you get... i bet they're all the same, or thereabouts -

http://www.scientology.org/html/en_US/feature/toxictest/

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#8 21-03-2006 11:13AM
jeep

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This is my result.You could have considerable accumulated toxins, which can make you feel dull, lifeless and "wooden".
I need to purify,apparantly:eek:

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#9 21-03-2006 11:54AM
Kojak

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You could be experiencing a case of severe body pollution, which can cloud your thinking and leave you mentally and spiritually deadened.

Great - the scientologists have finally told me whats wrong!!!! :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

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#10 21-03-2006 12:10PM
Louisiana

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have any of you ever seen the scientology guys on Abbey Street in Dublin who claim they can make your life worth while?
all for a small nominal fee.......

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#11 21-03-2006 12:11PM
Smellyirishman

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Looks like everyone is on drugs and heavily intoxicated :rolleyes:. Also, turns out I am "wooden" despite answering no to the "Are you wooden" question.

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#12 21-03-2006 12:16PM
Faith

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I was walking down the street here before and there was a sign saying "Free personality tests!" and an arrow pointing up stairs. I was so tempted to go up but I didn't have time. I later found out they were scientology tests. Phew!

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#13 21-03-2006 12:35PM
Dilly1

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jeep wrote:

This is my result.You could have considerable accumulated toxins, which can make you feel dull, lifeless and "wooden".
I need to purify,apparantly:eek:

Jeees ! are you pinocchio ? can i have your autograph ?

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#14 21-03-2006 12:46PM
Dizzyblabla

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You answered "YES" to 0 of the 10 questions.

You still could have a level of accumulated toxins in your body which can affect your ability to think clearly.

Even when I'm in perfect health - obviously it's the toxins that are making me think I am!

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#15 21-03-2006 12:51PM
MrJoeSoap

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"You could have considerable accumulated toxins, which can make you feel dull, lifeless and "wooden"."

Sugar.

[Opens wallet]

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#16 21-03-2006 01:41PM
Hobbes

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Louisiana wrote:

have any of you ever seen the scientology guys on Abbey Street in Dublin who claim they can make your life worth while?
all for a small nominal fee.......

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=177167&postcount=8

Also might add do not give them your address in anyway. You will be hounded for years.

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#17 21-03-2006 01:42PM
Tobias Greeshman

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You could have considerable accumulated toxins, which can make you feel dull, lifeless and "wooden".

Well based on the drink I threw down my neck over the weekend, I'm not at all surprised, but I'm full of life. Wooden, eh no I think not!

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#18 21-03-2006 02:33PM
shroomfox

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Wow, that's really interesting Hobbes. I'm half-tempted to go in and see what it's like.

They don't hound you still, do they?

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#19 21-03-2006 02:36PM
Terry

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Louisiana wrote:

have any of you ever seen the scientology guys on Abbey Street in Dublin who claim they can make your life worth while?
all for a small nominal fee.......

yes. they bugged me for years, back when the 66 was right outside their door.

are scientologists allowed to smoke weed?
i went up to thier place once and the smell of hash was overpowering and the ashtrays were full of joint butts. i walked straight back out and left my friend there.

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#20 21-03-2006 02:42PM
monkeyfudge

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connundrum wrote:

But, take into consideration that had Scientology been invented 1000+ years ago,

Actually it all started 4 quadrillion years ago apparently... Poor L Ron wasn't very bright, was he?

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#21 21-03-2006 03:06PM
DamienH

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Any test with the question "5. Do you sometimes get a feeling of light headedness or a feeling of being spaced out? " Can't be taken seriously tbh. And yes I'm toxic too

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#22 21-03-2006 03:07PM
Loomis

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Good **** that's strange.
And the questions do just seem to be asking if you're getting old.Anyone else notice that's where the questions lead?

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#23 21-03-2006 03:32PM
Tar.Aldarion

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You answered "YES" to 0 of the 10 questions.

You still could have a level of accumulated toxins in your body which can affect your ability to think clearly.

Hahaha.

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#24 21-03-2006 03:55PM
Alun

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For all of you even vaguely thinking of getting involved with this lot, I'd advise you to take a good hard look at http://www.xenu.net/ before you do. Dangerous bunch of nutters if you ask me.

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#25 21-03-2006 03:58PM
Terry

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Faith no more wrote:

Land of sunshine
You have a winning way, so keep it
Your future
You are an angel heading for a land of sunshine
And fortune us smiling upon you
Prepare for a series of comfortable miracles
From fasting to feasting
And life to you is a dashing, bold adventure
So sing and rejoice
And look for the dream that keeps
Coming back
Your future
Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a handshake
Cuz everything is not yet lost
(does life seem worthwhile to you? )
Here’s how to order!
Does life seem worthwhile to you?
Do others push you around?
Is age against you?
Sing and rejoice!
Does life seem worthwhile to you?
Does emotional music
Have quite an effect on you?
I-i can help
I can help you
I can help you help yourself!
Here’s how to order!
Varicose
Comatose
Senile

from the brilliant album "angel dust"

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#26 21-03-2006 06:30PM
Hobbes

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shroomfox wrote:

They don't hound you still, do they?

No they gave up some years back, they were good enough to stamp the letters on the back which meant they went straight into the bin. The first one threw me for a minute though. It came in a normal envelope and was hand written by some girl (or claimed to be) saying something along the lines "Hi, .... I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks and missed you. Hope we can meet up again, blah blah heres an advert on something you can go to, blah blah". Anyway something along that lines to imply that some chick actually remembered me enough. But I had only really spoken to two people and only one was a girl (and didn't seem overly impressed with me to begin with). A few weeks after that I got another from another person and so on. Obvious mailshot after that.

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#27 21-03-2006 07:07PM
Sam Vimes

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i may feel "wooden". i haven't felt like that since i watched the porno

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#28 21-03-2006 07:57PM
Eglinton

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Q: Have you an IQ of less than 70?
Q: Are you a rich dumb actor?
Q: Do you believe everything your hear?
Q: Do you feel let down that your social welfare benefits don't support your coke sniffing lifestyle?

If you've answered yes to any of the above, welcome to the scientologists.

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#29 21-03-2006 11:15PM
Hobbes

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t8LkfRkIDk&search=trapped%20in%20the%20closet

Will give you an idea of the interview.

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#30 21-03-2006 11:40PM
Ruaidhri

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Hobbes wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t8LkfRkIDk&search=trapped%20in%20the%20closet

Will give you an idea of the interview.

Speaking of this actually, who wants to bet it was political pressure from Scientologists which caused Chef/Isaac Hayes to leave South Park.

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#31 21-03-2006 11:57PM
slipss

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lol whoa thats spooky, I actually came on here with the intention of starting a thread about scientology, and the first thing I saw was this one.

If I didn't have such a big problem with giving these bunch of manipulaitve weirdos money and encouraging them then I'd love to join them, just out of curiosity, i'd say it'd be like being in one of those films like bodysnatchers, me and two of me mates were planning on eating a load mushrooms and goin to one of thier meetings, last holloween, sounded like a good laugh.

Is there actually one of thier centres/churches in Dublin?

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