Feel like a cheapskate after date!

LegacyUser · 22-02-2006 01:14AM #1

Hi,

I will keep this one anon..

I feel so bad cause I made such a mistake tonight! I might be making a mountain out of a molehill but.. I took a girl to the cinema tonight and when I got there I just bought one ticket and as I was walking away from the counter I just realised that I had only one one ticket. I just wasnt thinking when I was at the counter! I feel like such a cheapskate now and am really worried that she will feel the same. Do you think that she might just dismiss it as we are both students and obviously money would be tight ? BTW thats not the way I feel, I know I should have paid her in..

How can I redeem myself from this situation as it is all down to me just taking a short trip to space! How do I let her know how I feel? What should I do now?

Thanks

Victor · 22-02-2006 01:41AM

Cheapskate wrote:

Do you think that she might just dismiss it as we are both students and obviously money would be tight ? BTW thats not the way I feel, I know I should have paid her in..

You took her on a date, you did not buy her.

How do I let her know how I feel?

Tell her.

What should I do now?

If you like her, invite her over for dinner (you will need to provide dinner).

StupidLikeAFox · 22-02-2006 01:54AM

Victor wrote:

(you will need to provide dinner).

And dont give her a bill at the end!

It prob isnt that big a deal to her, how did the rest of the date go? At worst she prob thinks it was a little odd of ya not to pay for her, but its a really minor detail

Supercell · 22-02-2006 02:02AM

Lol, this is the 00's!

If you asked her out and shes a student then maybe feel guilty, otherwise don't see any problem.
That said, if i asked her out, i'd expect to do the paying now that i'm not a poor student

Seishin · 22-02-2006 02:12AM

Educational Factor: Women are NOT cheap. Fine women especially. If you're asking someone out for a date, and you like the person, just pay.

Flowers also work at some times, but you never know.

And like mentioned, she may think odd of you for making her pay. Did she make like some sort of face or expression when you told her to pay?

-Seishin

lyrama · 22-02-2006 02:25AM

Do something romantic; like seranade her, write a poem about her or good old flowers, red roses do the trick;) !

LegacyUser · 22-02-2006 02:42AM

We are both students by the way and for the record I know I should have paid for her and I would always do that but what do I do now that I slipped up? I suppose bring her iut for a few drinks and buy her a few but then she might just think Im trying to get her drunk. Becuase anytime i have offered to buy a my girl a drink in the past they always refuse cause they are being polite but when I buy them one I feel bad cause I think they think im trying to get em drunk..

That was a fairly rough, badly written block of text with no punctuation, but anyway!

Grem · 22-02-2006 02:45AM

Dont let it stress you out too much, as ColHol said it really is a minor detail. Next time you go out, to the cinema, or for a drink pay then. Obviously not for every drink, but the first one or two will help you get back in the good books if she's in any way taken aback by you only buying yourself a cinema ticket!
If i liked the guy and that happened to me id overlook it.

LegacyUser · 22-02-2006 03:50AM

ColHol wrote:

how did the rest of the date go?

To be honest I didnt think it went well.. We have been "meeting" for the last 3 weeks now and have been getting on fine.. but after the date when we were walking home.. we passed her place on the way to the bus and she never even asked me in.. I thaught i'd get the bus then so she walked with me to get it.. we didn't even kiss when I was leaving.
The relationship had been going well.. when we are out with a few drinks it is all good but when we are both sober things are just a bit awkward. I think it is only beacuse its early days yet but i feel so bad after tonight..

Ag marbh · 22-02-2006 08:47AM

Thats actually very funny.

Don't stress over that old fashioned stuff.

gerTheGreat · 22-02-2006 09:39AM

Cheapskate wrote:

Hi,

I will keep this one anon..

I feel so bad cause I made such a mistake tonight! I might be making a mountain out of a molehill but.. I took a girl to the cinema tonight and when I got there I just bought one ticket and as I was walking away from the counter I just realised that I had only one one ticket. I just wasnt thinking when I was at the counter! I feel like such a cheapskate now and am really worried that she will feel the same. Do you think that she might just dismiss it as we are both students and obviously money would be tight ? BTW thats not the way I feel, I know I should have paid her in..

How can I redeem myself from this situation as it is all down to me just taking a short trip to space! How do I let her know how I feel? What should I do now?

Thanks

It's the 21st century and all that. She's her own woman. Besides, as you said you're a student, we're all piss poor.
However if you really feel badly about it, next time you're out together, pick up the bill. This is regardless of the cost.

Ickle Magoo · 22-02-2006 09:45AM

Why not phone her up & tell her to make up for forgotting to buy her cinema ticket you are cooking dinner/taking her to the pub/taking her out for dinner/taking her to the cinema again/whatever? That way you acknowledge to her that you meant to buy the ticket but you aren't begging an appology for it and it gives a good first line on asking her out again.....she may think you meant it! Best of luck

le-dub · 22-02-2006 09:53AM

I dont mean to rub it in, but if i was you i would be feeling pretty low, especially if your both in the same college and she tells her friends. The best thing to do is apologise and tell her was a mistake and aske her out again for a few drinks and pay fro everything. I dont agree with the men paying for everything all the time, but the first date i think you should, especially if you asked her out.

Bluetonic · 22-02-2006 09:53AM

Get in contact with her asap and invite her to the cinema again, if she mentions the non-payment incident, tell her not to worry and that you've every intention of paying for her the next time.............once she pays for you.

SparkyLarks · 22-02-2006 10:00AM

Don't stress it. It's the 00's.
If your worried , flowers they always work.

Pigman II · 22-02-2006 10:05AM

Damn you cheap!

TBH I don't see how that could happen. Whenever I'm at the cinema I'll always just buy all the tickets in one go and then try sort it out later (alternatively someone else will buy them all and then I'll sort it out with them.) It tends to balance out in the long term naturally anyway.

That said tho taking someone to dinner just cos you forgot to buy them a cinema ticket seems a bit ott.

chump · 22-02-2006 10:08AM

why don't you just say it to her, laugh it off... woulda been better on the night obviously!

Something like "I'm so used to going (it) alone" or "I thought we could share the seat"

There's a time and a place for great gags, and last night was one of them.

Lux23 · 22-02-2006 10:15AM

Bring her out for a meal and pay for it all. That should impress her.

Miss Fluff · 22-02-2006 10:21AM

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Why not phone her up & tell her to make up for forgotting to buy her cinema ticket you are cooking dinner/taking her to the pub/taking her out for dinner/taking her to the cinema again/whatever? That way you acknowledge to her that you meant to buy the ticket but you aren't begging an appology for it and it gives a good first line on asking her out again.....she may think you meant it! Best of luck

Agreed

BoozyBabe · 22-02-2006 10:37AM

I never expect a man to pay for me, I like to pay my own way, but in saying that:- for cinema, bowling etc, I'd pay for the tickets tonight & then he'd pay for the tickets the next night. We'd never both just buy our own ticket:- something very cold about that (very non-coupley)

But, you realise that you made a mistake & it wasn't your intention, so you're not a cheapskate, so make it up to her.

I wouldn't suggest cinema, as because it's a new relationship you'd prob be even more embarrassed & it would make her think of the last time also.

Phone her, or meet her, tell her you're very sorry about the cinema, you genuinely never thought & it wasn't your intention, tell her you want to make it up to her, (& then depending on finances) suggest going for a meal, or bowling, or ice skating, or a day away somewhere (like shopping etc) & you pay for her.
Show her you're making an effort.
More than likely (with us being V modern women & all) you'll find if you buy the tickets, she'll want to get paying for the snacks. (BTW, if she doesn't make a move on the snacks, you buy them anyway, as you do have making up to do)

She'd need to be very unreasonable not to forgive you after that.

Best of luck

AngryBadger · 22-02-2006 11:09AM

If you're both students and she's getting thick about this, I'd let her go. In fairness, it's the noughties for one thing, as wel presumable she knows you, and should know this isn't form.

I'd think just make sure you don't make that mistake again, but tbh, on a students budget she has a cheek getting into a twist about this.

If you really feel it's an issue, maybe buy her an extra drink next time, or surprise her with cinema tickets. Personally, after just 3 weeks, I'd consider that a little "bunny-boiler"-ish, but each to their own.

22-02-2006 11:29AM

I don't get it actually, whenever going to the cinema with someone we always buy the tickets in one go and sort out the paying afterward. Or he gets tickets, I get snacks, it comes to about the same anyway.

She shouldn't be too bothered, but might think it was a little off, so ring her asap and say you meant to but forgot etc

justsomebloke · 22-02-2006 11:50AM

wow first date and you already forgot about her, thats pretty good. Ye if i was her it wouldn't of been that you didn't pay but maybe the not asking part, cause she probably would of paid for herself she just may have like the offer

Pigman II · 22-02-2006 12:05PM

jsb wrote:

wow first date and you already forgot about her, thats pretty good.

Hey if it can happen to Ted Kennedy it can happen to anyone.

koolthefunk · 22-02-2006 12:21PM

Wouldn't worry about it, in the grand scheme of things don't think it will make her like or dislike you.

cance · 22-02-2006 12:49PM

koolthefunk wrote:

Wouldn't worry about it, in the grand scheme of things don't think it will make her like or dislike you.

very true, and tbh if it does affect her judgement on you... is that a character trait you REALLY are interested in?

just consider her next time, one time isnt the end of the world... imagine forgetting valentines day, then you are in trouble

py2006 · 22-02-2006 01:43PM

BoozyBabe wrote:

I never expect a man to pay for me, I like to pay my own way, but in saying that:- for cinema, bowling etc, I'd pay for the tickets tonight & then he'd pay for the tickets the next night. We'd never both just buy our own ticket:- something very cold about that (very non-coupley)

If only all women were like you! I hate it when a girl just sits there and expects you to pay her way through life! Thankfully they are a dying breed!

Anytime I am out for a drink with a girl be it either as a friend or a date or whatever I would normally get the first drink and perhaps even the second but I find that most decent girls will get the next round.

Or as boozybabe says I pay one week for cinema or whatever and she might pay next.

To the OP, why didn't you just turn around and go back the the ticket box and get another ticket?

BaZmO* · 22-02-2006 01:48PM

BoozyBabe wrote:

or a day away somewhere (like shopping etc) & you pay for her.

He said that he forgot to pay for her cinema ticket, not his half of the Mortgage repayments.

It was just a mistake (a silly one at that!). I would imagine that the rest of the date didn't go well due to the fact that the ticket thing was playing on your mind and you were probably not being yourself.

I wouldn't go to the extremes that everybody else is suggesting if you're a student. The next time you're out together (if there is a next time) tell her what happened, make a joke of it, and then just move on from it. If she's a nice girl she'll understand.

BoozyBabe · 22-02-2006 02:03PM

Bazmo, I didn't mean for him to buy her all the stuff while shopping, just pay her bus ticket, taxi fare, drive her, or whatever & spend the day with her & if he wanted, grab a bite to eat at the shopping centre & pay for it, depending on how flush with cash he is (Although most are, not all students are as poor as churh mice)

& thanks Py2006, i'd imagine most girls (not silly little princesses) are like me these days. Why should the guy have to pay for everything. I just wouldn't be happy to allow that to happen.

py2006 · 22-02-2006 02:23PM

Actually a mate of mine came accross one of them little divas the other week!

They met down the local for a drink! He bought 3 rounds of drinks and she just sat there! She was finshed her third before him so he took his time to see would she offer to get the next round.

She didn't so when he was finished his pint he went up to the bar and got one for himself! (oh to be a fly on the wall) He drank it down while she sat there with no drink and then just walked out afterwards without saying anything!

LegacyUser · 22-02-2006 02:25PM

I am going to ask her out tonight to go for a few drinks. I will pay for the first few if she lets me. We'll see what happens then..
Should I say to her that drinks are on me or something to that effect?

Someone asked why I didnt turn around and buy another ticket.. Because I was kinda nervous and flustered bout the whole thing. It was the first time we were out all on our own and I felt really nervous about the whole thing, It was really crap to TBH cause I am never like that with girls..
Ah well, thank god i'm young and I will just put everything down to experience..

Feel like a cheapskate after date!

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