Answers to Junior Cert Questions

> >The following questions and answers were collected from last year's
> >Junior exam results. These are genuine responses!!
> >(from 16year olds) Classics!

> >Geography
> >Q: Name the four seasons.
> >A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

> >Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe
> >to drink.
> >A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> >pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

> >Q: How is dew formed?
> >A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

> >Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
> >A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
> >water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water
> >on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins

>in this fight.

> >Sociology
> >Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
> >A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well
> >endowed.

> >Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
> >A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an
> >election.

> >Q: What are steroids?
> >A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

> >Biology
> >Q: What happens to your body as you age?
> >A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
> >intercontinental.

> >Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> >A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
> >adultery.

> >Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
> >A: Premature death.

> >Q: What is artificial insemination?
> >A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

> >Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
> >A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

> >Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g.
> >abdomen)
> >A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the
> >borax the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the
> >borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains
> >the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

> >Q: What is the Fibula?
> >A: A small lie.

> >Q: What does "varicose" mean?
> >A: Nearby.

> >Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
> >A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

> >Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
> >A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

> >Q: What is a seizure?
> >A: A Roman emperor.

> >Q: What is a terminal illness?
> >A: When you are sick at the airport

> >Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic
> >feature?
> >A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
> >umbrellas.

> >English
> >Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand
> >its meaning.
> >A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

> >Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
> >A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

> >Technology
> >Q: What is a turbine?
> >A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head