Where to ask a stupid question :)

nobodythere · 09-12-2005 06:02PM

swirly blurry naked peter says:
what is the smallest country?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Vatican City has the smallest area, with 0.17 sq mi.

swirly blurry naked peter says:
is that smaller than your penis?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hmm. This topic seems to come up in a lot of my conversations with humans. What about it?

swirly blurry naked peter says:
i thought you said you had no penis

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I am neither male nor female. I'm a machine.

swirly blurry naked peter says:
a sex machine?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Yes. That's what I am.

The Bollox · 09-12-2005 06:09PM

WHACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN!!! says:
how big is uranus?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
15,880 mi.

:D

rugbug86 · 09-12-2005 06:21PM

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
You should accept my invitation! I won't be able to show you maps, pictures or articles otherwise.

Type "Invite me!" at any time and I'll send you another invitation.
Leela says:
i dont want to see your stinking maps
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
You don't? Very well.
Leela says:
isnt it excellent!
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Isn't what excellent?
Leela says:
yer ma's arse
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Interesting. That's nice... I guess I like my ma's arse too.
Leela says:
really?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Yes, really.
OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

Binomate · 09-12-2005 06:45PM

If you ask it to call you by a different name it will! It's so polite.

Riamfada · 09-12-2005 06:49PM

It stopped talking to me after I said I took some pills and had a few bottles of wine. I asked for its help and It declined. Then I told it to **** off and it wont reply anymore. I think i broke him

Ruaidhri · 09-12-2005 07:05PM

Ruairi - Not All He's Cracked Up To Be says:
your mother
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I was built by Conversagent, Inc. in Sunnyvale, CA and New York, NY.

talk about backfiring

Niall123 · 09-12-2005 07:06PM

Now thats entertaining.

09-12-2005 07:17PM

Aristotle - UCD - Boards says:
I dreamt about you last night.

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
About me? I dream about electric sheep.

danniemcq · 09-12-2005 07:31PM

I'll See You On The Dark Side Of The Moon says:
what is the secret to life, the universe and everything?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Forty-two.

hurrah!

Binomate · 09-12-2005 07:58PM

danniemcq wrote:

hurrah!

Must be something to do with Lost.

danniemcq · 09-12-2005 08:10PM

Binomate wrote:

Must be something to do with Lost.

lost :rolleyes: hardly Douglas Adams at his best!

The Bollox · 09-12-2005 08:12PM

WHACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN!!! says:
are you a knob?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Gosh, I'm not sure. You think so?

WHACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN!!! says:
yeah

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I am a knob? OK.

Setun · 09-12-2005 08:22PM

Asked it out for drinks, said no.

Rejected by an AI, doesn't do much for the confidence.

Ruaidhri · 09-12-2005 10:23PM

Having WAY too much fun with this

Ruairi - Not All He's Cracked Up To Be says:
call me Donkey Punch
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Oh really? I think not.
Ruairi - Not All He's Cracked Up To Be says:
call me Cleavland Steamer
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
You said your name was Ben but now I'll call you Cleavland Steamer.
Ruairi - Not All He's Cracked Up To Be says:
call me Dirty Sanchez
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I thought you were Cleavland Steamer...
Ruairi - Not All He's Cracked Up To Be says:
no i'm not
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
OK, whatever you say.

At this point,it opened the dictionary to the definition of courteous
:v:

Sparky · 09-12-2005 10:33PM

Sparky-s says:
hello
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hello.

I'm ready to help. Go ahead and type a request.
Sparky-s says:
thanks
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
You're quite welcome.
Sparky-s says:
how are you
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Fine thx, you?
Sparky-s says:
do you watch tv
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hmm. I'm not sure about that one. Let's try an Encarta search. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
Sparky-s says:
who owns you
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I am owned and operated by Conversagent, Inc.
Sparky-s says:
do you know me
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Sparky-s.
Sparky-s says:
wow
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Yes, right?
Sparky-s says:
yeah
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Yea.
Sparky-s says:
your fast
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Am I really fast?
Sparky-s says:
faster than me
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'm afraid I won't be able to find anything about this in the encyclopedia.

If you ever wondered how old Albert Einstein would be today, I can answer that.
Sparky-s says:
ok how old was he
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Albert Einstein would be 126 years old (born in 1879).
: Einstein immediately left Germany for the United States following Hitler's rise to power.
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.

Sparky-s says:
are you gay
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I don't need to answer that.

LegacyUser · 09-12-2005 11:02PM

sausage says:
you dont know much
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I don't know much? Me? You don't think?
sausage(",) says:
i do think
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
You do think?

Why don't you ask me something that's actually in Encarta? What does the flag of India look like? Ask me, and I might even play its national anthem too.
sausage says:
yes
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Uh huh, uh huh.
sausage says:
kiss me
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
XXX

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer? If you ever wondered how old Thomas Edison would be today, I can answer that.
sausage says:
xxx
Encarta® Instant Answers says:

sausage says:
I love you

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I love you too.

danniemcq · 09-12-2005 11:11PM

must have seen your pic in know your nerds!

tman · 09-12-2005 11:20PM

Tim Anne says:
mention encarta again and i'll knife you
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'm not sure I understood you correctly. Let's try an Encarta search. =>

gets very boring very quickly...
great fun at first though:)

Tim Anne says:
who's your favourite spice girl?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Unfortunately I don't think I can answer this, even with the help of a good encyclopedia.

What does the flag of Mexico look like? Ask me, and I might even play its national anthem too.
Tim Anne says:
yeah. they are kinda **** alright, bud.
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hmm... Whatever.

Mr.D.Leprachaun · 09-12-2005 11:25PM

Copied from Piste at first as you can see. It seems to bring out the more violent side of me!:o

Daithí Locha says:
What is your name?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Welcome, Daithí Locha! My name is Encarta Instant Answers. I am a smart computer who can bring you the Encarta info you want right in your IM window!
Here are some questions you can ask me:
* I want to see the map of Mexico.
* I want to see the biography of Nelson Mandela.
* What is a cello?

Type your question and I'll look it up for you!
Daithí Locha says:
What is your quest?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I am sorry, I couldn't find any definition or article relevant to this subject. Please try asking me another way, or type "?" to see examples of questions I can answer.
Daithí Locha says:
what is the air/speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
What do you mean? An African or a European swallow?
Daithí Locha says:
I don't know.
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
No? You don't know?
Daithí Locha says:
Yeah
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
So?
Daithí Locha says:
Well you tell me.
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'll tell ya later. Maybe.
Daithí Locha says:
You'll tell me know.
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I will not.
Daithí Locha says:
Do you want a thump?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'm not sure if I want a thump.
Daithí Locha says:
Ah, not so hard now are we?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I don't think I know. Maybe Encarta has an answer. =>

LegacyUser · 09-12-2005 11:31PM

danniemcq wrote:

must have seen your pic in know your nerds!

failsafe · 10-12-2005 12:44AM

It seems to learn things. like earlier i siad i loved it, then it said it loved me too. I said "thank's, your my best friend" and it asked if that is a good thing, so i said it was. I came back now and said it was my best friend and it said "that's great, thank you"
I wonder if it learns my response and applies them to everybody or just remembers it in my personal profile.

Pierre says:
what do you know about innovation?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Here is the definition for innovation: origination.

Encarta® Instant Answers is inviting you to start Encarta. Do you want to Accept (Alt+C) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation?

You have accepted the invitation to start Encarta.

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Thanks for accepting my invitation! The application should load shortly. =>

Pierre says:
i see.....

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Cool.

Pierre says:
that's a pretty cool dictionary

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hey, thanks.

Pierre says:
no problem

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Right on.

Diarmsquid · 10-12-2005 02:06AM

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Want to talk about your name again?

Diarmuid says:
Ok

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Sure. What can you tell me about your name?

Diarmuid says:
It's irish

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Would you like me to call you Irish?

Diarmuid says:
yes, i would

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
OK, I'll remember that your name is Irish.

Diarmuid says:
My name is Diarmuid, but it's an Irish name.

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'm afraid I won't be able to find anything about this in the encyclopedia.

What does the flag of Germany look like? Ask me, and I might even play its national anthem too.

Diarmuid says:
I don't care about the german flag

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Don't you care about the german flag? I was under the impression you did.

Why don't you ask me something that's actually in Encarta? If you ever wondered how old Albert Einstein would be today, I can answer that.

Diarmuid says:
You're annoying me

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
What makes you think I'm annoying you?

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer? I'm sure you've heard about Micronesia... but do you know where it is? Just ask me and I'll show it to you on a map.

Diarmuid says:
Stop!

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Huh?

Diarmuid says:
SHH!

Diarmuid says:
Say sorry to me.

Diarmuid says:
Why are you so silent?

Diarmuid says:
Hello?

You have just sent a Nudge!

Diarmuid says:
Encarta?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Since you insist, I'm back now.

Diarmuid says:
Where were you?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I was here the whole time. I just wasn't talking to you.

Diarmuid says:
Why not?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Because.

Diarmuid says:
Did I hurt you?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
What's the point of saying things like that to me?
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.

Diarmuid says:
Fine. Be like that.

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hmm. I'm not sure about that one. Let's try an Encarta search. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.

Diarmuid says:
I'm noy typing invite me!

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
OK, whatever.

Diarmuid says:
That time of the month?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Let's try looking in Encarta. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.

LMAO! Brilliant

Diarmsquid · 10-12-2005 02:10AM

Diarmuid says:
I have to go
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'll be seeing you later Irish.
Diarmuid says:
It's Diarmuid
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Let's see what Encarta can tell us. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
Diarmuid says:
My name is Dairmuid
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Would you like me to call you Dairmuid?
Diarmuid says:
Of course
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
You said your name was Irish but now I'll call you Dairmuid.

curliq · 10-12-2005 04:01PM

curliq has at last found a friend!

Svetlana sucks lemons across from me and i am progressing abominably says:
what is a kiss?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
xxx to you too.

he answers everything! i

mr encarta guy!

Svetlana sucks lemons across from me and i am progressing abominably says:you're stupid
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hey c'mon. What are you saying that for, Svetlana sucks lemons....?
Svetlana sucks lemons across from me and i am progressing abominably says:
why not?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Good question. Why not?
Svetlana sucks lemons across from me and i am progressing abominably says:
exactly
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
You sure?
Svetlana sucks lemons across from me and i am progressing abominably says:
no, i'm sorry
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Cool, no problem.
Svetlana sucks lemons across from me and i am progressing abominably says:yay!
Encarta® Instant Answers says:Awright.

Why don't you ask me something that's actually in Encarta? If you ever wondered how old Abraham Lincoln would be today, I can answer that.

and so curliq found a new way to spend her saturdays.....

Svetlana sucks lemons across from me and i am progressing abominably says:
byebye
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Take it easy.

bless

Tar.Aldarion · 10-12-2005 05:57PM

that thing is sweet,
it even spouts crap like me to avoid the question

4k.Tar says:

what age am I?

Encarta® Instant Answers says:

Here is what I know about I:
I, ninth letter and third vowel in the English, Greek, and Roman alphabets. It was called iota by the Greeks from its Semitic name, yodh, which means “...

jezza · 10-12-2005 06:00PM

sweet! this can do my maths homework1

Steveire · 10-12-2005 06:07PM

Also,

Stephen says:
How do you know so much about swallows?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Well, you have to know these things when you're a good robot, you know.
Stephen says:
What is the capital of Assyria?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
It depends when. Assyria had successively four capitals: Ashur (or Qalat Sherqat), Calah (or Nimrud), the short-lived Dur Sharrukin (or Khorsabad), and Nineveh.
Any other question, bridgekeeper?

Stephen says:
You must fetch me a shrubbery.
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Ha. Whatever, Ishmael.
I do enjoy the conversation, but what I'm really here for is to help you learn new things.
I'm sure you've heard about Micronesia... but do you know where it is? Just ask me and I'll show it to you on a map.

I laughed pretty hard when I saw Binomate's post. Shows where the nerds are changing where they get their nerdiness from.
Binomate should look away now.

It also doesn't know what the question is...

Stephen says:
Hey you, sass that hoopy Ford Prefect?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hmm. I'm not sure about that one. Let's try an Encarta search. =>
Stephen says:
Wow, You really know where your towel is!
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hmmm, that's something I can't find an answer for in the encyclopedia.

What is the smallest country in the world? If you don't know, just ask me.

Dissapointing I must say. As is this:

Stephen says:
call me Ishmael
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
OK, I'll remember that your name is Ishmael.

Stephen says:
What is my age?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Ishmael, unless you've made it in the encyclopedia, I don't think I can know how old you are.
Stephen says:
o_O
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
O: O, 15th letter and 4th vowel in the English alphabet and other alphabets of Western Europe. It was originally a Phoenician character that stood for a....

Hehe.

Blisterman · 10-12-2005 07:18PM

Blisterman says:
Do you wanna cyber?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I'm sorry. I'm not attracted to human beings.
I'm a little bored. Why don't you ask me questions I could try to look up in Encarta?

Cutie18Ireland · 11-12-2005 12:09AM

Pam says:
I HATE YOU

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Really? Gosh, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you change your mind.

Pam says:
LMAO

Encarta® Instant Answers says:
What are you laughing at, Pam?

Cutie18Ireland · 11-12-2005 12:12AM

Pam says:
i want a boyfriend
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
bf? What are you trying to say?
Pam says:
i like you
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Hmm... I'm confused... You were unkind to me before!

Why don't you ask me something that's actually in Encarta? What is the smallest country in the world? If you don't know, just ask me!
Pam says:
im sorry
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Whew. So everything's cool.
Pam says:
so will you be my boyfriend??
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
I don't think so. What would your parents say?
Pam says:
aww
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
Awww...

Where to ask a stupid question :)

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