The Birds and the Bees

Hagar · 05-11-2005 11:55AM #1

A father asked his 11 year-old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!"
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, "When I was eight, I got the ''there's no Easter Bunny speech'.

At nine, I got the 'there's no tooth fairy speech'.

When I was ten, you hit me with the 'there's no Santa speech'.

Now if you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."

Ro: maaan! · 05-11-2005 08:15PM

What kind of parents tell their kid there's no Santa before they tell him there's no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy? ...More to the point, what kind of kid still believes in the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy after they've been told there's no Santa...?

Kappar · 05-11-2005 09:26PM

Ro: maaan! wrote:

What kind of parents tell their kid there's no Santa before they tell him there's no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy? ...More to the point, what kind of kid still believes in the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy after they've been told there's no Santa...?

LOL; that was exactly whta I thought when i read it!

Steoob · 05-11-2005 09:31PM

since when is the birds and the bees story telling kids that grown ups dont get laid???

aidan_walsh · 05-11-2005 09:34PM

Steoob wrote:

since when is the birds and the bees story telling kids that grown ups dont get laid???

Since when have ten year olds been very good at seeing whats coming next?

Steoob · 05-11-2005 09:42PM

aidan_walsh wrote:

Since when have ten year olds been very good at seeing whats coming next?

this is true

HybridTech · 06-11-2005 12:30AM

Good joke!:D

Similar:

A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought, "Great...he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees.
No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said,
"Well son, do you have any questions?"

"Just one." gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"

Ro: maaan! · 06-11-2005 12:53AM

That's not similar at all!

HybridTech · 06-11-2005 01:01AM

Oh yes it is

Hagar wrote:

birds and the bees

HybridTech wrote:

birds and the bees

duh

Paladin · 06-11-2005 02:09AM

Hmm...yes...similar...but not, shall we say, at all similar...:)

HybridTech · 06-11-2005 03:42AM

He he

More similar:

========================================================
There is this French couple sitting up talking when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees.

So the father goes to his son's room and says, "Son do you remember that session I arranged for you with mademoiselle Ginette?"

"Oh yes papa, I remember very well," says the son.

"Well son, it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same thing."
==========================================================

Birds & Bees.jpg

==========================================================
A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. "Well, son, they're making a puppy" says the Dad avoiding the Birds and Bees lecture.
The following evening, the little boy walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their
usual missionary position. Confused, the boy asked what were they doing. The Dad responded very slowly and caringly
to his impressionable little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little brother." The little boy replied ,
"Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"

tallus · 06-11-2005 01:24PM

Ro: maaan! wrote:

What kind of parents tell their kid there's no Santa before they tell him there's no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy? ...More to the point, what kind of kid still believes in the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy after they've been told there's no Santa...?

it's a joke... not fact, if people start taking jokes literally, then we're all f*cked imo :-)
My 2 cents

Steoob · 06-11-2005 02:09PM

HybridTech wrote:

He he

More similar:

========================================================
There is this French couple sitting up talking when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees.

So the father goes to his son's room and says, "Son do you remember that session I arranged for you with mademoiselle Ginette?"

"Oh yes papa, I remember very well," says the son.

"Well son, it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same thing."
==========================================================

Birds & Bees.jpg

==========================================================
A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. "Well, son, they're making a puppy" says the Dad avoiding the Birds and Bees lecture.
The following evening, the little boy walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their
usual missionary position. Confused, the boy asked what were they doing. The Dad responded very slowly and caringly
to his impressionable little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little brother." The little boy replied ,
"Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"

haha the second ones good.. dont really get the first one... partly because i have no idea who mademoiselle Ginette is.. :v:

TerrorFirmer · 06-11-2005 08:14PM

Steoob wrote:

haha the second ones good.. dont really get the first one... partly because i have no idea who mademoiselle Ginette is.. :v:

Try reading it again :rolleyes:

Prior Of Taize · 07-11-2005 11:39AM

Steoob wrote:

since when is the birds and the bees story telling kids that grown ups dont get laid???

whenever the father sat down to tell his son about a specific topic (santa, bunny etc etc) it was always to tell him that they dont exist....therefore by simple deduction the kid figured that whatever the father was going to talk about was never going to happen (santa, bunny etc etc)...so he was guessing that the father would say adults dont get laid.

Q.E.D. :v:

The Birds and the Bees

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