The perils of commuting...

jrey1981 · 03-11-2005 08:16PM #1

Fell asleep on the train home the other day...quite a fit girl sitting opposite me...so I fall asleep and inadvertently wake up a while later with very obvious wood - I was wearing chinos at the time, so they didnt help conceal it.

Cue a funny look from girl sitting opposite me...more dirty disgust then dirty lust.

The next day I get the bus instead. Bus breaks down meaning I end up getting the train home. A bloke from the town nearest me decides to follow me and starts chatting to me....when I get home I hear that he has a bit of a local reputation for chatting up men.

Two cruel events in two days of commuting to Dublin. Anyone able to beat this?

MrJoeSoap · 03-11-2005 08:19PM

jrey1981 wrote:

Fell asleep on the train home the other day...quite a fit girl sitting opposite me...so I fall asleep and inadvertently wake up a while later with very obvious wood - I was wearing chinos at the time, so they didnt help conceal it.

Cue a funny look from girl sitting opposite me...more dirty disgust then dirty lust.

Hahahahahaha!

Rabies · 03-11-2005 08:21PM

Did you tell him your train story?

Binomate · 03-11-2005 09:50PM

I nearly got raped on the train from Galway to Dublin by some fat oaf who lived in Kildare. He shut up asking for handjobs once I stud up in front of the whole carrige and shouted "NO I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU!!!". He still gives me the shivers.

MrJoeSoap · 03-11-2005 10:02PM

I was sure you were giving me the eyes that day Binomate.

Rhyme · 03-11-2005 10:24PM

Various incidents, none more rattling than a guy falling between the train and the platform at Malahide...

scary

Binomate · 03-11-2005 10:43PM

Rhyme wrote:

Various incidents, none more rattling than a guy falling between the train and the platform at Malahide...

scary

That too happened to me, back in the good old days of transition year. Our whole year were going up to Belfast on some folk trip. A mate of mine crawled behind my legs and another guy pushed me over him. I ended up falling down in between the train and the platform. Luckily the train wasn't moving and I didn't land in shit, beacuse the trains toilets empty onto the tracks. I saw a jobby at a station once on the tracks.

Ragazza · 03-11-2005 10:58PM

I was getting off a dublin bus one day on my way to work with a back pack on, the driver closed the doors on my back pack, me outside the bus- my bag inside the bus. I was pulled along for about a hundred yards until one of the other passangers shouted at the driver. Same thing happened on a coach from town but this time my arm and backpack stayed on the bus. The driver heard me shouting before he moved off this time.

Am I really unlucky, or does this happen to other people too?

Font22 · 03-11-2005 11:30PM

sorry....i shudnt laugh at that last post but its so funny. lucky u werent hurt though. i hate commuting so much. thankfully i dont get public transport anymore. got it the other week when i didnt have my car and nearly died, complete nightmare. worst thing that ever happened to me was tripping over a mans bag strap as we were stepping onto the train. i tripped and fell wham smack on my face. everyone stopped what they were doing and a load of school kids promptly began to laugh. my sporting prowess didnt work that time thats for sure............
other than that nothing really except for some psychos following me home one night after i got off the nitelink.

stevenmu · 03-11-2005 11:47PM

Nothing more than various assorted fat people sit beside me and then fall asleep, which usually ended up with the trying to roll over on top of me.

Come to think of it, I think I'd have preferred to get caught in the doors and be dragged the whole way.

Stench Blossoms · 04-11-2005 12:01AM

Was on a bus to town one day and it was fairly packed and i was standing. A drunken old man got on and kept stumbling. He started movin over towards my direction and i kept moving. He eventually fell and went to grab me to hold himself up but some woman pulled me away so the guy went flying. Then he started grabbing my leg so the other woman started hittin him with her umbrella. It was so funny

Ruaidhri · 04-11-2005 12:11AM

I've spent many a year on public transport, and apart from it being uncomfortable, i've never really had problems. Some of the things i've seen on busses include a nigerian baby puking all over the shop ( stank like f*** ). some random drunk guy "making his move" on some poor girl ( bus driver stopped the bus and kicked him off! ).
My personal fav. tho is some dozy git who ran his car into the back of a parked bus. yes, PARKED 52 seater bus. go figure

MrJoeSoap · 04-11-2005 12:31AM

Ruaidhri wrote:

Some of the things i've seen on busses include a nigerian baby puking all over the shop ( stank like f*** )

What difference does it make that the baby was Nigerian? Care to include the nationalities of the other people you mentioned?

angeldelight · 04-11-2005 12:34AM

Hmm a few different things have happened to me.

One old drunk guy sat beside me and insisted on talking to me for the whole bus journey, asking about college etc which was annoying(he hadn't a clue what he was talking about) but I didn't really mind. The problem was he kept prefacing his questions with "I hope you don't mind if I ask you something personal pet..." which had me in a cold sweat and everyone else on the bus perking up their ears to listen in. Thankfully they were just about the course and whether I wanted to meet him for a drink that night (I said no btw, funnily enough)

I've been handed a baby by some woman cause she wanted to fold up the buggy then was left holding him for at least 15 minutes while she rummaged around in her handbag for money, talked to the driver, sat down, fixed her hair etc

Last week I had another old man sitting beside me and he kept elbowing me in the ribs til I took my earphones out so he could be a racist fcuker about the bus driver at the top of his voice - extremely uncomfortable

Few others but can't think of them right now

rainbow kirby · 04-11-2005 12:51AM

The worst would probably be when a guy started **** in the seat beside me on a crowded rush-hour 49.
There's also been a guy unconscious on the floor on the bus all the way from Tallaght to town (the driver knew, but just kept going), I've had to climb over someone who was too deeply asleep to let me get back to my seat after the pissbreak on a bus from Limerick to Dublin, I've been proposed to at a bus stop by a random 35 year old African guy (I was 15 at the time... :eek::eek:)... and a few more that I just can't remember.

[Jackass] · 04-11-2005 12:54AM

I have seen..and im 100% serious here...A junkie shoot up at the front of a dart carrage while his buurd gave him oral pleasure!! :eek: There's something you don't see every day!! And it was only about 8pm too ... train was half full!

Nobody said or did anything either...I didn't cause they fell asleep by the time i was getting off (or were in a comma or whatever) and before that, I didn't fancy getting jabbed in the eye with an aids ridden needle.

More of a bizzare commuting experience than a personal tradegdy like OP ... But I love the boner story!!

Unlucky 2 days man!

Ruaidhri · 04-11-2005 01:05AM

MrJoeSoap wrote:

What difference does it make that the baby was Nigerian? Care to include the nationalities of the other people you mentioned?

Sorry, no offense meant. just irrelevant background

*edit* and anyway who are you to make assumptions about me like that? finger pointing is a very bad habit.

MrVestek · 04-11-2005 01:08AM

The weirdest, and perhaps most dangerous experience I've ever had on personal transport was at the Luas stop at the Square. Some drunken old fool got off the Luas and drunkenly tried to run after two guys who had just darted off the thing with a guitar bag in tow. This drunken eejit then comes back and starts telling me all about how they stole his guitar and how he was gonna find them and kill them.

Cue the usual 'uh huh... yeah you're too right man...' from me, I wasn't really listening. No that's not scary I know... the scary part is coming up don't worry. Anyways the Luas goes down the tracks, changes tracks and comes back up to let me on, only this guy follows me back onto the Luas. 'Doeshhh dish ting go into towwwwn?'. 'Erhm, yeah why did you get off here by accident?'....

'Yeah' he says.

I ask where he came from and he says Abbey Street. Erm, is that not in town anymore?! I wonder. Anyways he follows me onto the Luas, sits down beside me (I tried not to retch at the smell of stale alchohol) and then explains to me how he's gonna get those bastards back and how it's his only guitar and how he can't afford to get another one, and how his mother would be so dissapointed that he lost it and blah blah blah blah.

Then he goes on the... weirdest tangent probably ever. He proceeds to tell me how he's just out of the Joy for something he didn't do (of course he didn't...) and that he knew guys in there who knew people in Tallaght who'd feck them up. He said that he wouldn't mind going to jail if it meant those bastards were killed. I was like erh yeah... ok. Then comes the clanger... he tells me that he'd make sure that they went to jail for it and that he'd get some of his mates in there to gang up on them in the shower and feck them up the arse. At this point I started getting kinda scared. Just as my stop is coming up he turns to me and says 'Now... would yih think I had a knife on me... would yih?'

I said something along the lines of 'Erh no... I wouldn't'. He then reaches inside his pocket, I dart up out of my seat and say 'Ohh look here's my stop... well talk to ya soon' And get off at Kingswood. Yes it was my stop, and it was the last Luas, but feck that even if it wasn't I would have got out and walked the rest of the way.

What a lunatic.

Right anyways... I'm off to get the Luas home, fingers crossed I'm safe eh? :P

MrJoeSoap · 04-11-2005 01:19AM

Ruaidhri wrote:

Sorry, no offense meant. just irrelevant background

*edit* and anyway who are you to make assumptions about me like that? finger pointing is a very bad habit.

No assumptions were mentioned. Just when someone mentions irrelevant details like that I find it suspect. I do believe you though!

Ruaidhri · 04-11-2005 01:40AM

eh, could of been worse! yeah, the other people mentioned were irish.you know, living in the west, seeing someone from nigeria is always..a little strange. altho i suspect the drunk guy hitting on that girl may have been czech ( remember that thread about certain nations having a certain look? )

Piste · 04-11-2005 02:08AM

Oh the stories I could tell you about public transport....

Once on the bus from Dublin to Mullingar I was sitting in front of a slightly drunk guy and a polish girl. The drunk guy started talking to us and was like ''Heehee, I have to be in galway by ten and the bus doesn't get there til' one in the morning!'' just then his phone rang and he answered it by saying ''Hey yeah I'll be there at ten, don't worry'' For the rest of the journey we heard him try and chat up the Polish girl beside him, asking her what her job was (she was a masseuse) and asking her how much she charged per session and if there were any ''bonuses''. At one point he hopped off the bus while it was stopped to take a piss and when he came back on he grinned at us and says ''Ah jaysus lads, I've just pissed all over some lad out there!''

Nasty.

The poor Polish girl, she must have had some very skewed ideas of Ireland!

MrJoeSoap · 04-11-2005 02:12AM

Ruaidhri wrote:

altho i suspect the drunk guy hitting on that girl may have been czech ( remember that thread about certain nations having a certain look? )

Didn't see that thread but it is true. I'm quite good at spotting Australian people myself! I tend to get mixed up with Eastern European people, can never tell much difference between Poland, Lithuania, Latvia etc... (don't think there is a notable difference in appearance).

Anyways, way OT. Continue with the tales of woe people! My worst it that a guy nearly started on someone sitting opposite on the train because he was "staring at him" when clearly the guy was just looking out the window. Thats about it.

Beer is Life · 04-11-2005 07:07AM

MrJoeSoap wrote:

What difference does it make that the baby was Nigerian? Care to include the nationalities of the other people you mentioned?

Jesus, stuff like this makes me sick. Didnt hear you kick up a stink about the poster above who descibed someone as fat. Who are you, some kind of PC Cop or something?

Anyway, sorry about the temp derailment.

stevenmu · 04-11-2005 10:59AM

Beer is Life wrote:

Jesus, stuff like this makes me sick. Didnt hear you kick up a stink about the poster above who descibed someone as fat. Who are you, some kind of PC Cop or something?

Anyway, sorry about the temp derailment.

Given the subject I think 'fat' is a perfectly valid criticism, especially when they're so fat they take up much more than their fair share of the seat, which wouldn't be any problem, if I wasn't sitting on it at the time !

fjon · 04-11-2005 12:47PM

I was getting a late bus home one night. The 45 or 84 - long bus journey from town to Bray. There was a group of people in the back talking away, when all of a sudden I hear:
"I gotta, I can't wait any longer!"
"Ah Jimmy, no, hang on a bit, nearly there"
"I can't!"
"A jaysus, you didn't, did you?"
For the next 25 minutes every time the bus stopped everyone had to make sure to lift their feet or else have them covered in piss. Lovely.

MorningStar · 04-11-2005 01:18PM

MrJoeSoap wrote:

What difference does it make that the baby was Nigerian? Care to include the nationalities of the other people you mentioned?

By jumping on a mention of facts you make it a bigger issue. If he mentioned the child had red hair you wouldn't have asked about it. Mentioning details is noramlly considered good when giving stories.

Dellgirl · 04-11-2005 01:25PM

I see the usual Friday scuffle is a brewin'!

I hate it when smelly people sit next to me. And for gods sake man - would it be that hard to run a brush over them before you leave the house? And take your elbow out of my goddammed ribs.

jaggeh · 04-11-2005 01:31PM

ive had my man meat and ass groped more times than i care to recall on the dart. and im sure not always by women.....

The most disgusting thing i ever saw was some mid-lifer huffing furniture polish on the back of the 27 going into town. he sat there huffing away getting high and laughing at things that werent there. the smell alone (and i was about 10 feet away) was enough to give me a headache.

MrJoeSoap · 04-11-2005 01:33PM

MorningStar wrote:

By jumping on a mention of facts you make it a bigger issue. If he mentioned the child had red hair you wouldn't have asked about it. Mentioning details is noramlly considered good when giving stories.

Congrats on the nomination for most argumentative poster btw!

I found it curious that he mentioned the nationality of the baby but not the other people he mentioned. We've already sorted it out so don't make an issue of it!

skywalker · 04-11-2005 01:38PM

rainbow kirby wrote:

The worst would probably be when a guy started **** in the seat beside me on a crowded rush-hour 49.

DubGuy wrote:

I have seen..and im 100% serious here...A junkie shoot up at the front of a dart carrage while his buurd gave him oral pleasure!! :eek: There's something you don't see every day!! And it was only about 8pm too ... train was half full!

Those 2 are definitely teh worst so far.

Ruaidhri · 04-11-2005 02:30PM

Which reminds me of another blood curdling tale of doom and despair.
Me and a few mates were getting a bus into Dublin city centre from Rush. So there we were, hung over on the top of the bus. there was a bunch of ...what's the P.C. way of saying they wore Burberry caps, were hard to understand, left school after junior cert and have penchants for starting fights?.. Anyway about 8 of them in the back of the bus hassling some girl.

Next thing we know the girl's legging it down the aisle and going to the bus driver. Turns out they set the girl's hair on fire. Luckily the cops were waiting for them on the next stop, and pulled the feicers off the bus and into the back of a squad car

Don’t you love stories with a happy ending?

The perils of commuting...

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