Irish definition of a true friend

Something I got sent in an e-mail which I thought was kinda funny so I thought I'd share:


IRISH DEFINITION OF A "TRUE FRIEND"
Are you tired of all those namby, pamby, girlie, sissy, completely wet
"friendship" poems, that never come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the
sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.
4. When you are scared - I will tease the crap out of you about it every
chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be and to stop your bloody whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again,I
don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy self.