Dublin Bus

DeadBankClerk · 22-01-2002 10:53PM

Originally posted by Da Bounca
Also, i remember one time when i was the one drunk(i think dbc was there too, drunk also), and there was a young woman sitting in front of use reading a book, abd i began to read from the page out loud. dbc was in hysterics while i just sat there with a level toned voice, reading calmly from some book about Celtic Dolmuns or something.

roffle

DeadBankClerk · 22-01-2002 10:56PM

Originally posted by SantaHoe
myself and a friend were slugging back on a 2Litre bottle of TK on the upper deck... one thing lead to another

ooo er...

Turner · 22-01-2002 11:31PM

Ahh Dublin Bus...

A year or two ago when i was workin shift work at 8am i got the 48a at bout 7:20. After a night of boozing the night before i head stright down the back of the lower floor middle seat and put my feet up.
Being 7:20 in the morning i dozed off gracefully as one can with those fuppin jerky automatic gears the busses have.

Woke up in ranelagh sprawled across the back seat with the bus jammed with people. And of course there was the line of spit down my cheek and into my ear.

people were obviously too afrid to touch me or wake me probably cause of the night of guinness drinking farts that were commin out of me.

Chief.

Makaveli · 23-01-2002 01:08AM

My God this is some funny ****
Mine aren't really funny though
The 11 once took an hour to get from the top of O'Connell St. to the bottom.
The 75, the bus driver was Chineese I think, he didnt have a clue where he was going and got lost. People on the bus had to direct him.
The 114 or 116 I cant remember which one it is, it comes from Kilcross and goes to Blackrock Dart Station. Some lads threw coke on me and my friends and there was a big fight at the dart station.
The 44N, some guys were talking about WWF and then they started to do wrestling moves on each other in the aisle.
The 46A, this chap was about 6'7" and he got stuck in the seat, he had to be pulled out by some fellah.
There is a guy on the 11 too and he is "special" too. You know the way on the newer buses when you ring the bell the sign lights up "Bus Stopping", well this guy starts jumping up and down when it happens singing BUS STOPPING BUS STOPPING BUS STOPPING, then he goes back to listening to his walk man at full blast and singing along with it

phoenix2181 · 23-01-2002 06:02PM

about a few months ago, myself & the mates were coming home on the 7n, we were all absolutly smashed, one of the lads lets rip (& I'll remember this to the day I die), he cleared the whole of the upper deck, the bus driver had to stop the bus & people had to step out on to the pavement because of the smell was so bad, while this is happening while we can hear my mate breaking is balls laughing (by himself I might add) upstaires in the bus, it took 5mins for the smell to clear, & the girl he was bringing home never got back on the bus & everyone else just stayed on the bottom deck of the bus. god it was sooo funny

Hobbes · 23-01-2002 08:35PM

*many* years ago I had just finished work and been working late nearly every night, so friday we all drop down to the pub. I have about three pints but I'm so tired I leave early and get the bus home (2 buses).

By the time I get to the second bus I'm completly wiped out and trying hard to stay awake. Eventually I fell asleep. I got woken up to the bus driver shaking me asking what was my stop. Someone in the background said "Maybe we should take him to beaumount" and I said "beumount" parroting the woman and he goes "Your on the wrong bus", I laugh and said "I don't care!" at which point he says "Drunken bastard" and starts up the bus again. It's only 2 stops from where I'm getting off, as I'm getting off I saw someone I knew and she's trying to hide, I didn't think anything of it. Get home, went to sleep.

Only when I chatted to her later it turns out I was fast asleep and when the bus turned the corner into my area I fell out of the seat and whacked my head off the floor... still fast asleep.

The bus had apprantly stopped for a good 5 minutes or so while they figured out what to do with me. The driver thought I had knocked myself out. My friend didn't know it was me until she heard me laughing at which point she was motified I'd point her out.

I was also on a bus passing connelly station when the dart bus went through the wall.

Ri-ra · 24-01-2002 12:04AM

I was on a 54A on the way back from uni one evening many moons ago. I was reading a book, and the guy sitting behind me had the 'flu-- coughing and sputtering, etc. His nose is chronically blocked, sniffle, sniffle, sniffle. Eventually comes the sneeze. The cranium clearing type of sneeze, the contents of which go over my shoulder and splat onto the page I'm reading.

Once I got to my stop I hopped off and ran home to have the longest shower I have ever had in my life. EVER.

phobos · 24-01-2002 12:36AM

This has to be the funniest threads I've read in a long time. Well done lads

I don't frequent Dublin Bus that often, so I don't have any decent contributions. But when the Dublin Bus idea tires, we could possibly move on to general transportation occurances

;-phobos-)

billy the squid · 24-01-2002 12:49AM

Was standing up on the bus that goes into Heuston station (methinks it was no 90 at the time) in order to go downstairs and get off when the bus crashed into one of the bollards outside the station.

the resulting thud sent sent several standing passengers to the floor. No one was injured but an old lady hopped her head of one of the poles causing her false teethj to get nocked out and they could be heard bouncing down the steps to the level below

beardedchicken · 24-01-2002 03:30AM

the nitelink is always a wealth of useless anecdotes.....for example........
the 48n......this guy (totally sloshed) is curled in a ball asleep in the front two seats (the sideways ones for grannies, just inside the doors), he starts sliding really slowly out of his chair, until his legs are completely sprawled across the front of the bus, and people getting on have to step over him. the looks on their faces were priceless. eventually, with the rocking of the bus, he ended up on the floor, still snoring!

then, there's the crazies who ALWAYS want to talk to me on the 17...i must have one of those faces!

SantaHoe · 24-01-2002 03:32AM

Originally posted by Makaveli
The 11 once took an hour to get from the top of O'Connell St. to the bottom.

LOL, no way...
I've always found the 11 to be an excellent bus, I must be getting on it when the loony joyrider is driving.
At least it's nowhere near as smelly as the other buses... ever notice how the 13A always smells of stale sack sweat?

thegills · 24-01-2002 03:59PM

I spent 6 years getting the bus in and out of Kevin St. from Clondalkin. Here's a few.
1. This lad gets on. He must have been a plasterer as his clothes were covered in white dust. Everyone was praying that he wouln'd sit down beside them. He picked a well-dressed girl and then fell asleep and fell on top of her lap. Her whole suit was covered in plaster. Half of us laughed the other half were mortified for her.
2. Same type of situation but it was a drunk and he puked all over a girls tights. For the whole 45min journey home she didn't budge and the puke gradually rolled down her leg onto the floor.
3. An old man took his lad out and pissed all over the floor upstairs. The bus was going uphill so everybody went to the front of the bus to avoid the massive pool of piss. Then the bus went downhill and within a few minutes everybody was sitting with their feet up in the air. This old lady was afraid to put her feet on the ground and missed her stop. Class
4. My favourite - I found £80 getting on to the bus. Being honest I asked around and no-one claimed it.....

EvilGeorge · 24-01-2002 05:21PM

I dont speak dub and therefore cannot translate what the bus driver is saying - how about a translating system for the bus ?? hmmm that would be nice.

Shiminay · 24-01-2002 05:36PM

Actually, it's always fun watching out for those folks who really don't travel by bus very often - they're the ones that swing violently out of the hand-rails and nearly always fall down the stairs. You've got to develop "bus legs" (like sea legs).

I recall one night, I'd hopped onto the wrong bus after a gig - I could barely stand or think because I'd been going bananas at it. So I ended up not knowing where I was at the end of the route. I spoke to the driver and he said, "I'll bring you back to town - probably the easiest." So we headed away and suddenly I realised we were on the Stillorgan Dueller. I was living in Cabinteely at the time so I knew exactly where I was. I asked him if he's let me hop off at the turn off to the village and fair play to the guy, he brought me all the way up, through the village and to the entrance to The Park (where I lived). So not bus drivers are muppets!

Makaveli · 25-01-2002 12:53AM

The 11 is a good bus and it doesnt smell because they are all new buses, I havent seen one older than 1999. It takes a hell of a long time though especially when you get it end to end (DCU to Kilmacud). The slowest areas always when on that bus are Clonskeagh and O'Connell St. you just sit there stuck for ages.

Actually I remember another story about the 11, one of my friends was on the bus and this girl got on at Drumcondra I think he said and she paid 60p or something, anyway there was hardly anybody on the bus and 60p only gets you from Drumcondra to the start of the Ballymun Road I think and the bus driver shouts down to the girl that this is her stop and she says she wants to get off up at DCU and the driver says well thats an extra 25p (60 + 25 = 85p :]) so she says that she will pay it on the way off and the bus driver demands that she pay it there. She had turned bright pink, but put on a real attitude to save face, she walked down and payed, then when she was getting off the bus the driver told her not to wake up on the wrong side of bed anymore, she turned even more red because everyone left on the bus was breaking their sides laughing at her.
Morale of the story, pay the full bus fare

Baldy · 25-01-2002 12:54PM

Morale of the story, pay the full bus fare [/B]

**** that if i wanna get into town from where i live it cost Ir£2.35
Thats E3.00 thats alot of money of a bus.

Lump · 25-01-2002 01:37PM

Well then don't get the bus, you cheap scate.

John

Stephen · 25-01-2002 02:15PM

I remember getting the 90 into town from Heuston Station before (i think i was on my way to a monty lan or something

). The bus was packed and I was sitting upstairs near the front window. Looked out the window to see two massive security guard types kicking the sh1te out of some drunken scumbag outside the main entrance to Heuston. They left him sitting in his own blood to stagger over to the nearest payphone to call his own ambulance. Some of his mates were on the bus, going apesh1t

Figment · 29-01-2002 01:00PM

*bump*

po0k · 29-01-2002 04:49PM

Originally posted by phobos
This has to be the funniest threads I've read in a long time. Well done lads

I don't frequent Dublin Bus that often, so I don't have any decent contributions. But when the Dublin Bus idea tires, we could possibly move on to general transportation occurances

;-phobos-)

Have to agree.

Wait for the Iaranróid Éireann ones though. The train is a uniquely Irish experience. Everybody and anybody can be sitting beside you and you will generally leave with a large peice of someone's personal history. Which is nice I guess, especially if you get her number

Yurmasyurda · 31-01-2002 02:25AM

When I was younger I use to get the 36/a and there was one driver who was mental, floored it all the way into town (Thought he was Nigel Mansell) and one day he took a shortcut through Drumcondra, he was excellent. He looked like Jack Nicholson too.

phoenix2181 · 31-01-2002 01:26PM

does anyone know that black curly haired chap who does the 84 run from bray to newcastle? the guy is well cool, he allows people to drink & smoke on the bus & he often has sing songs on a fri/ sat night......crazy days indeed

Victor · 31-01-2002 04:56PM

Originally posted by Yurmasyurda
When I was younger I use to get the 36/a and there was one driver who was mental, floored it all the way into town (Thought he was Nigel Mansell) and one day he took a shortcut through Drumcondra, he was excellent. He looked like Jack Nicholson too.

I can undetstand that I used to live in Malahide (about 9 miles from the city centre). The jouney used to take anything from 35 to 70 minutes - one night I got home in 15!!!

Da Bounca · 31-01-2002 05:15PM

I was going into town once and when i hopped on the bus (11pm approx) , there was this funky black guy driving. He had these mad studded black leather gloves. When i paid he said something along the lines of have a beautiful evening and enjoy your time on my bus. Soon after he started a sing-song and the whole bus was singing wheels on the bus go round, and numerous other songs, as well as humming the indiana jones music. It was class.

EvilGeorge · 31-01-2002 06:07PM

Cant stand the bus drivers - most of the ones I've asked are not very helpful , if you ask them the price of the trip or for a few directions - usually just grunt.

Saruman · 31-01-2002 06:13PM

Evilgeorge dont you use Bus Éireann to get to the styx?? At least you can understand a Dubliners Grunt.. them country folk Grunt so you cant understand its even a grunt...

EvilGeorge · 31-01-2002 06:18PM

Are you following me long haired freaky dude ?
I use them once or twice a week , they are ****, they smell, the people smell - its a fecking can on a couple of wheels - I mean the seats break your arse.

Saruman · 31-01-2002 06:24PM

What the hell are you doing on the seats Louth boy? hmm ok they probably do smell a little but not all can be too bad... i know a few of them drivers and inspectors and they are ok..

beardedchicken · 01-02-2002 12:38AM

well, continuing on the thread of cool drivers
(there are actually one or two!!!!!-i was shocked aswell!)

i was going out for the night a while ago, and i really didn't want to be, i was a bit depressed and anyone could tell, but when i got on the bus, and was paying my fare, the driver said something alomg the lines of "you look really beautiful, i hope you're going somewhere nice!" ( i had made a bit of an effort, despite the general malaise!) it really made my day, and i ended up having a great night in the end!

Yurmasyurda · 01-02-2002 12:42AM

Originally posted by beardedchicken
well, continuing on the thread of cool drivers
(there are actually one or two!!!!!-i was shocked aswell!)

i was going out for the night a while ago, and i really didn't want to be, i was a bit depressed and anyone could tell, but when i got on the bus, and was paying my fare, the driver said something alomg the lines of "you look really beautiful, i hope you're going somewhere nice!" ( i had made a bit of an effort, despite the general malaise!) it really made my day, and i ended up having a great night in the end!

Awwwe that's a really nice story (sarcasm free) there should be more people doing this it brightens up peoples lives

Dublin Bus

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