What the customer wanted.

Capt'n Midnight · 13-10-2005 11:59PM #1

The original
http://www.iam.unibe.ch/~ese/Archive/ESE2000/WWW/pictures/SoftwareSpecCartoon.gif
The Software Engineering Lifecycle
(aus Tom Gilb: Principles of Software Engineering Management, Addison Wesley, 1988, Seite 45)

http://www.robelle.com/library/smugbook/tree.gif
I really like the unnecessary feature in #4

Must combine them some day to get the definitive version as I don't like the one below.
http://www.compsoc.com/~dave/product-lifecycle.gif

Firewalkwithme · 14-10-2005 10:00AM

I think this was originally used in the building industry but it looks like it's been adapted for computer programmers. There's another one I saw using a snowman as an example but it's much the same.

Devon · 20-10-2005 08:01AM

Here's a better one for ya Capt'n:

The year was 1995...

Tech: "Oh it sounds like you have a problem with Windows 95. I'll just transfer you through to our software support specialists"

EDPS log: TR to 4010.

May God rest him and his 35 transfers a day.

Capt'n Midnight · 20-10-2005 08:46PM

jerryadams wrote:

Here's a better one for ya Capt'n:

The year was 1995...

Tech: "Oh it sounds like you have a problem with Windows 95. I'll just transfer you through to our software support specialists"

EDPS log: TR to 4010.

May God rest him and his 35 transfers a day.

And then the call would be answered, put on hold and transferred back to 4010 about 63 seconds later so the next tech would get also stat off that call and the queue never go beyond 5 minutes.

Or a call would come through at 7:40pm ,some old codger with a 386 well out of warranty, expecting to be cut off abrubtly. What happens ? After a quick check to make sure there is no sound card / CD / strange video card in the system, the tech spends 20 minutes [strike]avoiding windows 95 calls when EMF are shipping borked setting[/strike] helping a valued customer get his pc back to as shipped.

"yes sir just pop in windows 3.1 disk 1 and press the space bar, I'll talk you through the other 7 disks too !"

Devon · 20-10-2005 09:43PM

...unless it was a laptop with 3.11 with a psion dacom gold card in the top slot and a nic in the bottom...

The most enjoyed one was "Oh I'm afraid I'll have to send you out the latest drivers for that to work sir" and FRANK off about 40 disks for Freeney to post the next morning.

Or even funnier - give them the number for the BBS!!! Remember that unsecured box down the back?

Them wuz the days...

Capt'n Midnight · 20-10-2005 10:16PM

remember the pcmcia CDROM's ?

Devon · 20-10-2005 10:30PM

Of course... Do you remeber the phone that gave Savage a heart attack every time it rang?

"GOLD CALL!" 30... 29... 28... 27... 26... "CAN SOMEONE GET THAT?" 22...

RIP the 30 second service level.

What the customer wanted.

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