international grimace inducing puns

What did the man from Madrid say when the doctor told him he had colon cancer?

"Well that's a spain arse!"

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What did the German ambassador say when he met his African counterpart?

"Ken, ja?"

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What did the judge say to the Scandanavian man as he sentenced him to life in prison without parole for attempted murder?

"There's norway I'm letting you out of prison. You're too danegerous and you might try to finnish the job"

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What did the bum from Central America say when he wanted his Welsh mate to get him a tabloid?

"Nick a rag Ewan"

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What's the favourite sandwich filling in Cyprus?

Greasy turkey

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What did the Jamaican fireman say to the Tokyo pensioner after he had put out a fire in her kitchen?

"It started in jah pan"