Humiliated in a garage

prospect · 05-08-2005 02:51PM

I don't think we are getting the exact full story:
"I have No Money"
"Pay up or else!"
"Waaaaaaa, boo hooo"

If I was in that situation:
"I have no money, can I call later with C.C."
"No, we have a No Credit Policy"
"I understand, but there is nothing I can do"
"I am not authorised to give credit"
"Could I please speak with someone who can help me then, have them check my record, I have been coming here for X years etc. etc.

The mechanic was very wrong for creating a scene, he should have got a senior member of staff involved at an earlier stage.
The lady was wrong for continuing to argue/plead with someone who obviously was not senior to make a decision and she should have got a senior member of staff involved at an earlier stage.

Baffled · 05-08-2005 02:52PM

I am actually amazed with some of the responses too.

Oh, and why did the guy give her the keys back only when she asked to speak to the manager, eh? Maybe, fear of humiliation himself if the manager said it was ok for the lady to come back with the money as she is such a loyal customer. Hmm.....

BizzyC · 05-08-2005 02:55PM

Ardent,

you really need to gain some perspective here.
From your story, all we got is, "my mum couldn't pay, they guy at the garage wanted her to, so she cried."

If you think she was hard done by, please tell us why. What did the young lad do to upset her.
If it was just his refusal to let her leave without paying, than I'm sorry, but you have absolutly no reason to complain. In fact, in that case I would think an apology to the garage would be more in order.

If however, he was anyway abusive towards your mother, which led her to tears, I'd get onto the manager and lodge a complaint about him.

BizzyC · 05-08-2005 02:57PM

Baffled wrote:

I am actually amazed with some of the responses too.

Oh, and why did the guy give her the keys back only when she asked to speak to the manager, eh? Maybe, fear of humiliation himself if the manager said it was ok for the lady to come back with the money as she is such a loyal customer. Hmm.....

or maybe he wanted to put an end to the scene as there were other customers in the shop. Hmm....

Dellgirl · 05-08-2005 03:07PM

Some people get upset if they are shouted at or shamed in public. Everyone here seems to have skin like rinoserous hide and would be well able to stand up for them selves. The fact that he backed down after she asked for the manager shows he knew he was being a bully. If it was yer mother ye would be raging as well and of course it would colour which way you see the situation.
She was being a teeny bit naieve thinking he would let her go without paying but he neednt have been so rottten about it. Older people seem to trust peole more while younger people can be really abrasive without realising it.
Your poor ma. Superglue the credit card to her!

Cucullan · 05-08-2005 03:08PM

Baffled wrote:

I am actually amazed with some of the responses too.

Oh, and why did the guy give her the keys back only when she asked to speak to the manager, eh? Maybe, fear of humiliation himself if the manager said it was ok for the lady to come back with the money as she is such a loyal customer. Hmm.....

I'm surprised by some of the responses too, why didn't the mechanic just get the manager himself when she said she didn't have the money on her and let him deal with it instead of making a scene in public. Probably because he is an ignorant f**k.
As for the people saying she shouldn't have cried, not everyone is made of stone. She was been intiminated by a man in public i'd say alot of women in that situation would cry regardless of their age. Women are generally more sensitive than men if that had been a man in that situation he probably would have told the mechanic to f**k off and then get the manager himself, I couldn't see many women doing that at her age.

Talliesin · 05-08-2005 03:08PM

Ardent wrote:

I was looking for suggestions on how she should deal with the incident

What incident? You still haven't explained what happened beyond your mum not paying for something and the guy at the garage (who most likely does not have the authority to authorise credit) not accepting that. Really, what was he supposed to do?

Baffled · 05-08-2005 03:11PM

Well if he was thinking of the other customers he would have brought the lady aside into a separate room.

Maybe it started off with the guy asking for payment (which he is well within his rights) but clearly he should have taken the woman out of the public eye when she started to get distressed.

MorningStar · 05-08-2005 03:12PM

Baffled wrote:

I am actually amazed with some of the responses too.

Oh, and why did the guy give her the keys back only when she asked to speak to the manager, eh? Maybe, fear of humiliation himself if the manager said it was ok for the lady to come back with the money as she is such a loyal customer. Hmm.....

Maybe she shouldn't have humiliated herself by crying. She was crying before she said she wanted to speak to the manager then? What kind of adult acts like a 2 year old. How old was this woman?

Dellgirl · 05-08-2005 03:14PM

Maybe she shouldn't have humiliated herself by crying.

Thats right tough guy.

Bogger77 · 05-08-2005 03:22PM

Talliesin wrote:

Or in other words, he wouldn't let her steal parts and services?

Seriously, what was he meant to do?

Considering the garage location, it would be very easy for a judge to decide in a civil case that refusal to return the keys was both theft and kidnap as there is no safe way to leave the premises without walking along the hard shoulder of a dual carriageway.

I know this garage well, and it is the rudest of all the toyota dealers I've been in. The Toyota dealership I go to, makes an effort to remember, as much as possible, all the regulars.

MorningStar · 05-08-2005 03:22PM

Blingarella wrote:

Thats right tough guy.

If a man got extremely angery over such an issue it would be all about how he needs to control his temper.
Explain the difference rather than smart arse remarks!

kittenkiller · 05-08-2005 03:24PM

Angry is different to upset MorningStar.

impr0v · 05-08-2005 03:24PM

Seems to me to be a simple misunderstanding that your mother should have been assertive enough to deal with on her own with resorting to the defense mechanism of crying, and then phoning you to fight her battles for her.

If the mechanic was more of a salesperson he probably would have had the discretion to discuss the issue with your mother behind closed doors, but otherwise I wouldn't really fault him.

Don't phone the manager and 'lift him out of it', if you really feel that such action is necessary then let your mother do it, the act might at least equip her with the necessary confrontational skills for the next time she needs them.

Judging by the way your mother and yourself reacted, I'd say your father is a fairly dominant and aggressive type and she has perhaps been in his shade a little too long.

Rubens · 05-08-2005 03:27PM

MorningStar wrote:

Maybe she shouldn't have humiliated herself by crying. She was crying before she said she wanted to speak to the manager then? What kind of adult acts like a 2 year old. How old was this woman?

What kind of macho muck is that? She is an oldish lady ..tough-guy. We can't all be as thick-skinned as you ... Hardman.

Good Day
RJ

Ardent · 05-08-2005 03:28PM

BizzyC wrote:

If it was just his refusal to let her leave without paying, than I'm sorry, but you have absolutly no reason to complain. In fact, in that case I would think an apology to the garage would be more in order.

If however, he was anyway abusive towards your mother, which led her to tears, I'd get onto the manager and lodge a complaint about him.

I would have thought from the original post it would be easily understood why she might have broke down in tears.

To spell it out:

First off, she's not the type to complain about anything, even if she got crappy customer service somewhere. She's not that kind of person.

When this guy was looking for full payment, she explained the situation to him again and apologised that she didn't have her purse with her because she understood when leaving the house (15 miles away) that the car would not be ready until after the weekend. All she had was 70 quid on her (50 had already been payed previously as a deposit on the work) and she offered the 70 she had on her and the rest by credit card the minute she got home.

This wasn't good enough and yer man insisted he couldn't let the car go until he got full payment there and then. I wasn't there but I gather she then told him that she had told him she hadn't all the money necessary prior to him doing any work and his response was something along the lines of him not hearing any such thing.

I'm sure she mentioned being a long standing customer, that she always gets her car serviced there, would pay the rest as soon as she got home etc, as I say wasn't there, but what I do know is that he started getting quite obnoxious and a scene was starting develop with other people looking on. He was going on about how she wasn't getting the car keys until he got all the money, simple as that. Getting quite upset and being in a situation where she felt very helpless and intimidated, she started crying. There was a bit more pleading on her part but again he was having none of it. She then insisted on seeing the manager and yer man eventually decided to give her car keys back.

I think she couldn't wait to get out of there and drove home straight away. Rang me when she got home and was still in tears.

I used to work in a large retail store. If I didn't pass a similar situation like that on to someone more senior than me and if I had reduced a customer to tears in public like that, I'd have been fired straight away.

Anyway, they've lost a long standing customer for good. Good customer service that.

Bogger77 · 05-08-2005 03:32PM

Talliesin wrote:

Or in other words, he wouldn't let her steal parts and services?

Seriously, what was he meant to do?

what's he supposed to do?

well, simple answer. he's supposed to do what he can smooth out any dificulties. If he didn't have the authority to give credit, he should have called the manager of the servicing dept., not argue with a customer. Simple, if u don't have the authority to give credit/discounts in a business, you don't have the authority to argue with a customer.

In this case, the garage has lost the comission on any new cars the OP's family was going to buy, and lost the servicing of current cars. If I was the manager of the garage, I'd give the guy an official warning.

And yes, I've worked in an garage.

MorningStar · 05-08-2005 03:32PM

kittenkiller wrote:

Angry is different to upset MorningStar.

So is talking and hand gestures but they are communication. Anger and upset are emotional responses that require a degree of control which appears to be lacking.
Have you ever spoken to a child who cries when caught doing something wrong. They need to learn how to control their responses and as you get older that doesn't change.

Dellgirl · 05-08-2005 03:33PM

Explain the difference rather than smart arse remarks!

I meant it so its not smartarse. You're great cos you're tough.
Do try to stay off your horse and on the topic.

blorg · 05-08-2005 03:34PM

Sounds like the mechanic was following a reasonable policy but could have been more polite about it.

Baffled · 05-08-2005 03:35PM

Why is it so unacceptible for an adult to cry? Why?

Anger is a totally different issue here. Anger is offensive and if used in the same situation it would be used as a means to intimidate or offend.

Sher if the garage has a reputation anyway, what can I say.....

Talliesin · 05-08-2005 03:40PM

Ardent wrote:

She then insisted on seeing the manager and yer man eventually decided to give her car keys back.

Well he should have insisted she see the manager when the whole mess began really.

BizzyC · 05-08-2005 03:41PM

Because, as it was said before, men find crying as difficult to deal with as women find anger.

I'd much prefer to deal with an angry person than one who was crying.

Anyway, end of the day, there's not much you can do Ardent.
It appears that although he may have been a little harsh, the mechanic was in the right.

The only options you have are to forget about it, or make a complaint to the manager.

MorningStar · 05-08-2005 03:45PM

Blingarella wrote:

I meant it so its not smartarse. You're great cos you're tough.
Do try to stay off your horse and on the topic.

THe topic is bad customer service and a bad reaction. Neither are acceptable and lots of people seem to agree. You just don't appear to be able to join the dots. How you think that is tough just indicates that you need to think about what I said.

prospect · 05-08-2005 03:47PM

Both are a means to an end.

1. I want my way, so i'll punch that guy in the face till he concedes
2. I want my way, so i'll cry in public, making him out to be the big bad bully

Although I do sincerely sympathise with the OP, and his mother. I would imagine if I was in the OP's shoes, I wouldn't call the manager, I'd go in and deck the mechanic.
But that isn't the right thing to do either!

fitz · 05-08-2005 03:51PM

Ridiculous.
Anger or upset, it doesn't matter.
The use of emotion to manipulate a situation is not the way to go about something like this.
Crying was introducing an emotional context into a business transaction that was not going right. She's big and old enough to be expected to be able to handle not getting her way. She phoned and cancelled her lift, she could have phoned and re-arranged it.
Asking for the manager should have been the first thing she did instead of pleading with a mechanic, who's not necessarily used to or expected to deal with the public.

Dellgirl · 05-08-2005 03:53PM

Maybe she shouldn't have humiliated herself by crying

Thats what i was talking about.
*sigh*

I believe I already contributed to the topic - which you are leading me off now- so as I said (I have to repeat myself again) - Please stay on topic cos your not helping anything here.
how was I not able to join the dots? Did you not read my previous post? Are you going for insults rather than stay on topic? I thought you would have known better MS. Really, if you dont want to contribute to the discussion you could do better than slag me off.

Garibaldi · 05-08-2005 03:54PM

OP, you mentioned it was a Toyota dealer, right? Well, Toyota just happen to have some numbers you can call to deal with this kind of situation. From the Toyota.ie site: (01) 6670966 or (01) 4190267. Given the experience I've had with them, I'm sure they'd be the ones to take the matter seriously and deal with it appropriately. (no, I'm not affiliated with Toyota etc etc blah) Much more chance of a result there than here.

MorningStar · 05-08-2005 03:55PM

Baffled wrote:

Why is it so unacceptible for an adult to cry? Why?

Anger is a totally different issue here. Anger is offensive and if used in the same situation it would be used as a means to intimidate or offend.

Sher if the garage has a reputation anyway, what can I say.....

It is not acceptable from an adult because it is a lack of emotional control in the same way anger is. Just as offensive that a person does not have enough control. If the mecahnic was shouting and cursing it is the same lack of emotional control. Even in the one side of the incident view from a 3rd view it hasn't been said that he was. Fear can have the same response one which is anger and the other is distress. Same lack of control just different reaction both of which shouldn't be acceptable.
First off she should have enough control not to be afraid and after that she should have control.
If it was my mother I would be bothered but she wouldn't react that way. If she did I would console her but I wouldn't blame a guy doing his job.

The Fish · 05-08-2005 03:55PM

would it have been possible for your mother to make a payment in kind to the mechanic and/or his boss?

Humiliated in a garage

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