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The Clock

  • 28-06-2005 8:52pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,424 ✭✭✭✭


    The clock

    A constant ticking akin to that of a heartbeat,
    Every beat a second in the endless life of time
    Time waits for nobody,
    As everybody waits for time,
    A heart that stops beating,
    Some would see as a crime,

    The ticking clock constantly changes with occasion,
    Every change a minute in the endless life of time,
    The time seekers evolve,
    As evolution ignores time,
    The time setters revolve
    With revolutions of crime

    Do we deserve a second chance?
    Living life dreaming by the minute,
    Hours is the power to enhance,
    The tricking tickings that begin it.

    Did time begin with a tick or a tock?
    I see no smile on the face of a clock,
    Are you the minute or the hour?
    And do you crave leadership or power?




    any comments good or bad much appreciated, thanks for reading


Comments

  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 847 ✭✭✭pcwares


    I liked it - there seems to be a theme running through your poems which you dont really want to tackle or something like that. You seem to be mixing honesty with skirting around something. It eludes to something.

    This seems to red light at intervals that trap what you had in mind. The last line seems to be totally misplaced. As if you throwing people of the scent of the whiffs of honesty which pervade the poem. The poem itself reads like prose. Maybe you could write about what you think and then muse over a poem. I think u may find a sculpture in that rock.

    Just a thought - i could be totally wrong.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,424 ✭✭✭✭ctrl-alt-delete


    the last line tries to link into the line that preceeds it, as in i create 2 type of people, like the two hands on the clock(ignoring the second hand - which my clock doesnt have anyway), i feel the minute hand is the leader (leads into the hours, and the hour hand follows it),leadership and power are totally different but can go together ( and this happens sometimes on a clock like 10 past 2 for example) its just ending on a question, maybe its a load of crap though who knows


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 847 ✭✭✭pcwares


    Keep it up. :)

    C.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 847 ✭✭✭pcwares


    A constant ticking akin to that of a heartbeat,
    Every beat a second in the endless life of time
    Time waits for nobody,
    As everybody waits for time,
    A heart that stops beating,
    Some would see as a crime,



    Anyhoo Just taking this first verse it fashioned itself onto some distant memory of mine where i was in a lost relationship. Time waits for nobody - so i kept going trying. That beating heart beside me/a heart that stops beating means to me that it should end (the relationship) but her family/mine are the - some would see as a crime.

    ..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,424 ✭✭✭✭ctrl-alt-delete


    glad to see you can relate to the first stanza in some way, poetry is great in that sense, thanks for reading and commenting, your thoughts are much appreciated, maybe i should do my thinking on a page instead of straight away as a poem, but sometimes i think it works better if i just sit and write what comes out if u know what i mean,


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 847 ✭✭✭pcwares


    I do understand that. Defo. Just to let it stream out there and see what happens..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,846 ✭✭✭Le Rack


    reminds me of "child" by Sylvia Plath, "Love set you going like a fat gold watch" She uses watch to indicate the ticking heartbeat, and so on...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,424 ✭✭✭✭ctrl-alt-delete


    i think that poem is "morning song"? looked it up to read it and found that out, nice poem alritee


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,846 ✭✭✭Le Rack


    yeah, I always confuse the two.... Finistere (sp) is really good, very graphic and haunting.


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