The (corrupted) make a wish foundation!

Deadwing · 14-04-2005 11:39PM #1

This might be better suited to the cukoos nest but feel free to move it.
Basically one poster makes a wish, the following poster grants it...but with a stipulation

i.e.:

Deadwing: I wish i had a million quid
next poster: granted. However the feds bust you for not paying tax on your million and you wind up in the joy with a big black cellmate called bubba who cant keep his eyes off your ass
I wish i had...

etc etc.

Ill start the ball rolling...

I wish i had a kickass job

Piste · 14-04-2005 11:41PM

Granted However it involved your ass literally being kicked. Painfully.

I wish I had a proper whip.

ferdi · 14-04-2005 11:48PM

your better whip is granted but from hence forth it will take you the best part of 2 and a half hours of constant struggle and effort to achieve even the faintest of erections
edit: if you are a chick - then eh....something equally bad will happen to you.
ferdi's wish: to be content

tSubh Dearg · 14-04-2005 11:50PM

Granted! However, you are content (see what I did there

)in a user manual and no longer alive but dull boring words

I wish I had a giant 4 poster bed

Nasty_Girl · 14-04-2005 11:52PM

K ferdi,
you are content,
THE CONTENT OF A BLENDER bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
and tsubh dearg your four poster bed is made of posters.... on walls.

My wish?
To have a wish

Nasty_Girl · 14-04-2005 11:56PM

tSubh Dearg wrote:

Granted! However, you are content (see what I did there )in a user manual and no longer alive but dull boring words

Off topic: you sunk my battleship!!

Deadwing · 15-04-2005 12:01AM

Nasty_Girl wrote:

My wish?
To have a wish

Granted, but youre only allowed wish to either be:
A) stuck in the bath drainpipe of an extremely hairy fat bloke or

stuck in the armpit of a sweaty giant.

I wish i was going on holiday

ExOffender · 15-04-2005 12:03AM

Deadwing wrote:

Granted, but youre only allowed wish to either be:
A) stuck in the bath drainpipe of an extremely hairy fat bloke or
stuck in the armpit of a sweaty giant.

I wish i was going on holiday

You are. To the Aran Islands.

I wish I had a cosmic death-ray that would enable me to enslave humanity.

Nasty_Girl · 15-04-2005 12:10AM

After gettin drunk on your own sense of power you get so paranoid that even your reflection is a threat.
with lethal results

I wish for the ability to spell

tSubh Dearg · 15-04-2005 12:12AM

You do now! However, you now turn into a grammer and spelling pedant who is shunned by all her friends.

I wish I had a great big chocolate cake to share with everyone

Nasty_Girl · 15-04-2005 12:18AM

the cake is filled with maggots!
I wish I hadn't thought about maggots

ExOffender · 15-04-2005 12:20AM

tSubh Dearg wrote:

You do now! However, you now turn into a grammer and spelling pedant who is shunned by all her friends.

I wish I had a great big chocolate cake to share with everyone

Everyone here is allergic to chocolate, and you are convicted of mass murder! Death by chocolate!

I wish I had a ****load of dope.

Rabies · 15-04-2005 12:22AM

you get your wish and spend the rest of your life in remedial class

I was i was a god

ExOffender · 15-04-2005 12:26AM

Rabies wrote:

you get your wish and spend the rest of your life in remedial class

I was i was a god

You are. But you become so lonely you decide to kill yourself, but have to leave a note. Then you create people. And self-terminate.

I wish I had less time to think up stuff like this.

tSubh Dearg · 15-04-2005 12:27AM

Granted! But now you are run off your feet with work and die of a stress induced heart attack at a ridiculously young age.

i wish i had my own house

/edit: you're all too fast at typing!

the_syco · 15-04-2005 12:30AM

Granted, but its owned by your bank (due to non-payment of your mortgage), who have since kicked you out, making you a penniless bum.

I wish for all the peace-loving hippies to be killed by the Al Qaeda.

ExOffender · 15-04-2005 12:42AM

the_syco wrote:

Granted, but its owned by your bank (due to non-payment of your mortgage), who have since kicked you out, making you a penniless bum.

I wish for all the peace-loving hippies to be killed by the Al Qaeda.

You get caught in one of the blasts and end up a veggie.

Iwish my wang was bigger.

the_syco · 15-04-2005 12:53AM

ExOffender wrote:

Iwish my wang was bigger.

But when you whip it out to show the girls @ Slane, it freezes, and breaks off, leaving you with nothing.

ExOffender · 15-04-2005 01:00AM

the_syco wrote:

But when you whip it out to show the girls @ Slane, it freezes, and breaks off, leaving you with nothing.

I wish the_syco had made a wish

Tiriel · 15-04-2005 01:05AM

he did it was silent but deadly
I wish I was alseep

ExOffender · 15-04-2005 01:10AM

Cork_girl wrote:

he did it was silent but deadly
I wish I was alseep

You are. But you wake up being touched intimately by a sweaty dwarf in high heels and an Anna Mae Wong dress.

I wish for a pair of eyes in the back of my head. Ewww... hairy eyelids...

Tiriel · 15-04-2005 01:13AM

you have .. but one looks up and one looks down .. gets a ickle bit confusing when you don't have eyes facing ahead..

I wish to not have read about that creepy dwarf!

ExOffender · 15-04-2005 01:22AM

Cork_girl wrote:

you have .. but one looks up and one looks down .. gets a ickle bit confusing when you don't have eyes facing ahead..

I wish to not have read about that creepy dwarf!

Granted! But now your guard is down and he's behind yooou...

I wish I could read people's minds.

pwd · 15-04-2005 01:31AM

Granted but all they ever are thinking is mean things about you.

I wish FOR 3 MORE WISHES!

ha you're my bitch now mr genie man.

Nightwish · 15-04-2005 01:35AM

Granted! but with each of those extra wishes you make a significant part of your genitals will wither, die and fall off.
i wish to have a night of passionate sex with tuomas holopainen

c - 13 · 15-04-2005 08:31AM

Your wish is granted - After a length of time of passionate kissing with Tuomas Holopainen, you remove his pants and find to your disgust that where his penis should be is just a blackened stub - he explains to you that this is the end result of a terrible accident he was in when he was younger - he tells you that it is still fully functional though if you'd care to give him oral ? Dissapointment ensues.

I wish there was an end to all war, probably.

tSubh Dearg · 15-04-2005 09:31AM

granted! but as mankind has given up all it's weapons in the resulting peace we are unprepared for alien attack and all end up dead or enslaved on a distant planet.

I wish I had a flying carpet

meditraitor · 15-04-2005 09:40AM

Granted, but with this extraordinary gift comes responsibility, you are now patron saint of travellers and have to live in limerick in a tiny caravan married to jimmy joe mcdonagh, who will expect you to bear him 20 nippers.......

the_syco · 15-04-2005 12:11PM

No wish ^^^, eh?

=-=

I wish for the person who posts below this is good @ giving head.

Haket · 15-04-2005 04:08PM

Granted, but I now add you head to my collection and then give it to Wendy's to match the finger ,

I wish I wasn't hungover.

bringitdown · 15-04-2005 04:12PM

Granted, but you are underhung ....

I wish I was always physically fit and not having to do all this gym crap.

The (corrupted) make a wish foundation!

Comments