Scariest/Funniest Drunken experiences

Roar · 19-11-2004 12:26PM

I was down in a mates gaff and we went for a few pints down the local. we came home and continued drinking, although i'd run out of cans so i decided to tuck nto a bottle of wine. so the bottle was drank within five minutes, and, naturally passed out.

so me buddy tries to get me into a bed, so he picks me up and makes me walk down the hall. he has to guide me cause i can hardly stand, but i stop outside the bog and say i'm headin in. my buddy says "right, you're on your own here" and leaves me in.

My buddy says all he heard was two huge THUMPS and he thought i was after cracking my skull off the sink or something.

so he rushes in to find me curled up in the bath fast asleep, snoring....

that happened four years ago and he still talks about it....

orangerooster · 19-11-2004 01:45PM

Great thread!Quite a few of these are recent actually:

Last Tuesday night after inventing a new drink in the sports bar in UCD I ended up in the muck with only one shoe under the watertower there I stayed until a good samritan bar worker heard my ramblings and escorted me onto a free taxi-champion!

Uprooting a brickwork path and proceeding to place the bricks behind the four wheels of every car I could in my local towns square-people werent happy.The same night I burned a considerable amount of election posters in a bonfire and then dug-up my mates back yard and tried to put a railway sleeper through this girls window.It started out as a funny kind of thing but when my mate copped his yard it got scary very, very fast!

Setting my beard on fire with sambucha and then torching a girls pair of best jeans with same-again started funny got scary pretty damn fast.

Drank two neat triple whiskies and five shots of tequila in the space of twenty minutes having drank 13 pints-felt grand (if being 13 pints drunk is grand to you-it is to me) for about an hour then it all hit me.I fell face first out of a taxi into Portlaoise's pub area-then trashed a table in my friends pub-passed out 4 times in the time it took me to leave the bar. Friends found me in a state outside the court house beside my vomitted dinner. (They later told me it was indentifiably steak and chips). Now in my locality im known as "The Liver" and seeing that I was vomitted they reckoned it was stomach pump time for rooster. Ambulance arrived and the guy ran me through the standard questions etc. etc. got to hospital was assesed to have had "a bit too much to drink" ended up getting a free medical exam, a free bottle of water and a free taxi out of it-not too bad really!

Knacker drinking in UCD and then proceeding to trash the place was memorable. Pissing in one of the entrance alcoves to the student residences was great fun! Then I tore down the posters for some event that was being organised and was subsequently cancelled because the "security guys had taken them down to stop activism on the campus"

-got in the paper and all-a proud moment for me!Then did the standard:chucked bins in the lake-pissed in the lake on the main mall of the uni and then attacked a bike with a 2x4 piece of wood.Got a "chase" from security and ended up trashing the bus stop by throwing bins on top of the shelters. Then pissed in Crumlin Gard station (not in the toilet mind).

If I can think of anymore I'll post them up!

Dr. Loon · 19-11-2004 01:51PM

orangerooster wrote:

Great thread!Quite a few of these are recent actually:

If you're any older than 15, you're a twat.

Sleepy · 19-11-2004 01:57PM

What is it about drunk people going asleep in baths? One of my brother's mates is always doin' that too!

Sleepy · 19-11-2004 01:59PM

Dr. Loon wrote:

If you're any older than 15, you're a twat.

Even if he is 15, he's still a twat.

Dr. Loon · 19-11-2004 02:02PM

Sleepy wrote:

Even if he is 15, he's still a twat.

Indeed.

Fionn101 · 19-11-2004 03:45PM

on a bus to drogheda with Dr Loon and our mate Foggo who was listening to his walkman, anyway he got a bit locked and as we were trying to wake foggo up he kept shouting "i'll be up in 10 mins da", and also "i'm already in school" heh , then when he finally awoke he started slagging the guy in the seat across from us ,
Now foggo still had his walkman going and was slagging your man so loud the guy could easily hear him (so could half the bus) , foggo thought only we could hear him and we were so busy falling around laughing that we couldn;t tell him how loud he was. the poor bloke in the seat across from us was too afraid also to say anything to a group of lads so just stayed staring straight ahead, thus making foggo think he was being quiet.

eventually when we got the laughter under control we informed foggo to turn off the tunes and perhaps not talk so bloody loud. classic all the same .

Dr. Loon · 19-11-2004 03:48PM

Fionn101 wrote:

on a bus to drogheda with Dr Loon and our mate Foggo who was listening to his walkman, anyway he got a bit locked and as we were trying to wake foggo up he kept shouting "i'll be up in 10 mins da", and also "i'm already in school" heh , then when he finally awoke he started slagging the guy in the seat across from us ,
Now foggo still had his walkman going and was slagging your man so loud the guy could easily hear him (so could half the bus) , foggo thought only we could hear him and we were so busy falling around laughing that we couldn;t tell him how loud he was. the poor bloke in the seat across from us was too afraid also to say anything to a group of lads so just stayed staring straight ahead, thus making foggo think he was being quiet.

eventually when we got the laughter under control we informed foggo to turn off the tunes and perhaps not talk so bloody loud. classic all the same .

Yeah. Then later that night I got the head beat off me. Good times.

Nasty_Girl · 19-11-2004 03:53PM

landser wrote:

i shared a house with 4 blokes in 2nd year in college. went our one night and got blathered (surprisingly). my room amte had a bird back so i slept in the single room whose owner was in his girlfriends. the only problem with this was that in the right hand corner of my own room was the ensuite, equipped with toilet. in the right hand corner of the room i stayed in was a wardrobe notably bereft of urinating facilities. obviously at some point in the night i felt a need to relieve to myself and in a drunken stupor headed for the right hand side of the room

i have no recollection of thye events of that nite but was awakened the next morning by the owner of said wardrobe, holding up a years worth of yellowy sodden history notes and beating the head off me.

that's the funniest thing I've ever read. My hat comes off to you

Fionn101 · 19-11-2004 03:54PM

ahh you got a slap , it was funny(you were slagging his fat burd, i mean girl) , but you have reminded me how drunk you were.
Back in the house and we're all having a banter talking away. loon deftly puts his beer on the coffee table and then decides now would be a good time to pass out drunk , he splayed out straight onto the table which held his fatass for all of 5 seconds before collapsing itself , ahh class if you were there .

beer onto table, followed by loon , than all three taking a dive for the floor , least they won't fall any further .
we left him ther for some time as there wasn;t much point tryign to move anything, besides it looked rather Warhol-esque .

Dr. Loon · 19-11-2004 04:00PM

Fionn101 wrote:

ahh you got a slap ,

If getting a slap is 4 lads beatin' the bee jesus out of me and breaking a tooth then yeah. A slap.

Fionn101 · 19-11-2004 04:16PM

your still alive aren't you ,

I should ask for my money back to be honest .....

joejoem · 19-11-2004 05:05PM

Blub2k4 wrote:

Is that a very cryptic way of saying that he raped her?

No!!!!!!!!!! He wanked ontop of her!

joejoem · 19-11-2004 05:08PM

orangerooster wrote:

Great thread!Quite a few of these are recent actually:

Last Tuesday night after inventing a new drink in the sports bar in UCD I ended up in the muck with only one shoe under the watertower there I stayed until a good samritan bar worker heard my ramblings and escorted me onto a free taxi-champion!

Uprooting a brickwork path and proceeding to place the bricks behind the four wheels of every car I could in my local towns square-people werent happy.The same night I burned a considerable amount of election posters in a bonfire and then dug-up my mates back yard and tried to put a railway sleeper through this girls window.It started out as a funny kind of thing but when my mate copped his yard it got scary very, very fast!

Setting my beard on fire with sambucha and then torching a girls pair of best jeans with same-again started funny got scary pretty damn fast.

Drank two neat triple whiskies and five shots of tequila in the space of twenty minutes having drank 13 pints-felt grand (if being 13 pints drunk is grand to you-it is to me) for about an hour then it all hit me.I fell face first out of a taxi into Portlaoise's pub area-then trashed a table in my friends pub-passed out 4 times in the time it took me to leave the bar. Friends found me in a state outside the court house beside my vomitted dinner. (They later told me it was indentifiably steak and chips). Now in my locality im known as "The Liver" and seeing that I was vomitted they reckoned it was stomach pump time for rooster. Ambulance arrived and the guy ran me through the standard questions etc. etc. got to hospital was assesed to have had "a bit too much to drink" ended up getting a free medical exam, a free bottle of water and a free taxi out of it-not too bad really!

Knacker drinking in UCD and then proceeding to trash the place was memorable. Pissing in one of the entrance alcoves to the student residences was great fun! Then I tore down the posters for some event that was being organised and was subsequently cancelled because the "security guys had taken them down to stop activism on the campus" -got in the paper and all-a proud moment for me!Then did the standard:chucked bins in the lake-pissed in the lake on the main mall of the uni and then attacked a bike with a 2x4 piece of wood.Got a "chase" from security and ended up trashing the bus stop by throwing bins on top of the shelters. Then pissed in Crumlin Gard station (not in the toilet mind).

If I can think of anymore I'll post them up!

Knob. Absolute pube head

Dr. Loon · 19-11-2004 05:11PM

joejoem wrote:

Knob. Absolute pube head

But your mate is grand for **** over a sleeping girl?!

Nasty_Girl · 19-11-2004 10:37PM

joejoem wrote:

Knob. Absolute pube head

that's the best insult ever

the_syco · 19-11-2004 11:02PM

A friend of mine started attacking bushes on the way to a house party. Had to stop him, in case he caused himself to be stabbed. Stupid bugger did it again next time he got drunk. I don't think he reliases that when you jump at a bush fast enough, there's a good chance of there being a pointy branch there, sticking out.

=-=

Another time, a mate and some random stranger had an arguement outside the nightclub on who is the best guitarist. The other guy did a fake head-butt (where you swing your head forward, but only a bit). Mate took this the wrong way. Luckily, me and a few others could restrain my mate (anyone who knows me; my mate is about the same height, but big build). He decided to wait outside the entrance of the carpark @ the nightclub. The funny part was when the manager of the nightclub came up to me, and asked me (he was an ex-boss, so it was civil enough request) to move my mate on, as the other guy wouldn't budge, untill my mate was gone (the other guy was terrified).
Goes to show you; never get into a drunken arguement with a stranger. The stranger may consider it "fun" to kick the **** out of you, after you pretend to hit him.

Pet · 20-11-2004 01:22AM

Dr. Loon wrote:

If you're any older than 15, you're a twat.

I couldn't have put it better myself.

ixoy · 20-11-2004 02:11AM

orangerooster wrote:

Great thread!Quite a few of these are recent actually:

<snipped HILARIOUS escapades!>

..If I can think of anymore I'll post them up!

Please do. While we're of the general consesus that your stories are the work of a selfish, thoughtless, infantile twat, any new stories might enable us to add a few more insulting adjectives to that list.

ro_chez · 20-11-2004 03:50AM

One night, good few years back when I was 16 I was in Eamonn Dorans with a couple of mates. Proceeded to get plastered etc. and went off home to bed only stopping off to excrete some urine before I hit the sack.

Came down the next morning with a bitch of a hangover and a full bladder, to be greeted by my parents loking stern faced and worried. Ignoring this I headed in to the bathroom and proceeded to do the buisness. Whilst doing this I noticed an object sticking out from under the toilet. There, were the toothbrushes from the bathroom sink hidden behind the toilet and as if that was'nt bad enough, there was toothpaste all over the sink. It appears, in my drunken stupor, I'd come in squeezed all the toothpaste into the sink, put all the toothbrushes behind the toilet, and headed off to bed!!

Needless to say the rents were a bit concerned as was I, scared ****less of ever touching alcohol again, which lasted for...almost a month.

joejoem · 20-11-2004 11:38AM

ixoy wrote:

Please do. While we're of the general consesus that your stories are the work of a selfish, thoughtless, infantile twat, any new stories might enable us to add a few more insulting adjectives to that list.

Dont forget pube head

Nasty_Girl · 20-11-2004 06:34PM

Oooh maybe we could start a new thread about the best insults ever....

Dr. Loon · 20-11-2004 08:35PM

ro_chez wrote:

Needless to say the rents were a bit concerned as was I, scared ****less of ever touching alcohol again, which lasted for...almost a month.

If I ever see you say "rents" again as in parents on boards, I'm going to hunt you down, kill you....slowly, and then eat your stomach. Unless of course you're American, in which case I'll just set you on fire.

Also, I am currently drunk, but that doesn't mean I don't mean what I say above. Rents??? What the fúck?

?

Victor · 21-11-2004 12:19AM

orangerooster wrote:

Great thread!Quite a few of these are recent actually:

Last Tuesday night after inventing a new drink in the sports bar in UCD I ended up in the muck with only one shoe under the watertower there I stayed until a good samritan bar worker heard my ramblings and escorted me onto a free taxi-champion! .....

My name is orangerooster and I'm an alcoholic ....

visualphotoarts · 21-11-2004 03:56AM

On my stagger home from a big session when about 18 (from Cork) I crossed the bridge by the bus station and tried to tightrope walk along the steel whatever along the left - needless to say I ended up in the river - that was a shock! Suddenly threading water and sobered and a green slimy square wooden strut in front of me with nails or something on each side - nice one. I was lucky. My flatmate and girlfriend were going for it when they heard some jittery person trying to get the key in the door for 20 mins - eventually I got it and gave out to them for not assisting me before telling them that I had fallen itno the f&ckin river and me clothes are in the shower - carry on I'm off to sleep!

Nasty_Girl · 22-11-2004 12:26PM

Another scary one for me was when me and a friend decided to take a traffic cone for a walk, my mate wanted to bring it down to the shop and I said no, there might be cops around, let's just leave it at the cash and carry so we did. When we carried on down to the shop sans traffic cone, there was a squad car sitting at the traffic lights and so for about a month we were convinced I was psychic when drunk...

Blub2k4 · 22-11-2004 01:30PM

visualphotoarts wrote:

On my stagger home from a big session when about 18 (from Cork) I crossed the bridge by the bus station and tried to tightrope walk along the steel whatever along the left - needless to say I ended up in the river - that was a shock! Suddenly threading water and sobered and a green slimy square wooden strut in front of me with nails or something on each side - nice one. I was lucky. My flatmate and girlfriend were going for it when they heard some jittery person trying to get the key in the door for 20 mins - eventually I got it and gave out to them for not assisting me before telling them that I had fallen itno the f&ckin river and me clothes are in the shower - carry on I'm off to sleep!

well that's one unexplained suicide that never happened.

" no one knew he was upset"
" we had no notion"

ixoy · 22-11-2004 01:32PM

Nasty_Girl wrote:

Another scary one for me was when me and a friend decided to take a traffic cone for a walk, my mate wanted to bring it down to the shop and I said no, there might be cops around, let's just leave it at the cash and carry so we did

Good call. A couple of folks I knew decided one time to kick a few traffic cones down. Some Gardai spotted them and didn't like it. They ended up suffering a court appearance and fine...

Ph3n0m · 22-11-2004 02:01PM

Walking home from a 21st b-day party and proceeded to fall down a trench and crack my tailbone off a pipe halfway down - waling home like a crab whilst drunk is not pleasant, especially with the rest of your group mocking your walk

Friend of mine got the nitelink home, and was walking home, saw some bushes and proceeded to curl up for a few hours kip

Same friend got the wrong bus home, ended up in Celbridge and had to hitch hike back to his house - took him 4 hours (he refused to walk and stood at the side of the road)

Got immensely plished at a party, and had to have my girlfriend lead me to a taxi, like a dog on a leash, couldnt walk straight and then passed out on the couch

Decided to be "cool" on night and mixed 3 pints of bulmers with 3 shots of jd - and then threw it all back up within 20 minutes.

At another 21st, and eating some dodgy food. Friend thinks it would be a chuckly to chew up the onions and spray them all over someone's coat in the corner - problem was it turned out to be his

Girl I know decided it would be great fun to explode party poppers in peoples face - she didnt like it so much when someone cracked her in the eye with one.

kenmc · 23-11-2004 12:16PM

When I was in the college windsurfing club (DUWC) we went for a weekend down to Achill every year. One year we were staying in the adventure centre, and coming back from the pub one of the lads manages to fall through the cattle grid, ending up with one of his knees wedged below the bars. So a couple of us grab him under the armpits and start trying to haul him out, but he starts screaming about his knee being stuck, so we kinda have to let him go.
Start wondering how the hell we're going to get him out w/out breaking his kneecap, when all of a sudden I get a brainwave - carjack! So I get the carjack and jack the bars apart and he can get his leg out. Some scars on his leg, and a swolen knee!
Turns out that on the grid there's a know you can turn to release all the bloody bars, so there was no need to jack it apart!
Anyway, needless to say that he went over the wall for the rest of the weekend instead of taking his chances with the grid....

Scariest/Funniest Drunken experiences

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