Scariest/Funniest Drunken experiences

bravestarr082 wrote:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=2002487#post2002487

was done not so long ago

this is different, that was a lazy thread this is a drunk thread.

hmmmm my story would be the time i came home from a night out, my fella was staying over, we had a dumb drunk fight, anyway i went to the kitchen to feed the now awake cats(i think we may have woken them up when we stormed into the sitting room and took over the couch), anyway i started to cry (im a woman gimme a break), my hand slipped and i cut it on the sharp edge of the cat food can, i started to bleed, turned to full scale panic, fired my hand under the hot tap initaly, copped i was burning my self(cue bigger tears)turned on the cold tap fully, my fella came in to see what the fuss was (to make fun of me for crying like a sissy over a fight i supect) saw the bloody floor, cleaned me up, we attempted to put a plaster on it, gave up(its very hard to put a plaster on a wet bloody hand when your drunk!!), wrapped a bandage round my hand and went to bed. the cat food can was still bloody in the morning, but we had made up so it was ok.


poor cats never recovered fully.............they run a mile from the smell of drink

welll I posted this before in the last thread but what the hell I'll air it here again.

Live in Kerry. Was up the side of a mountain after being on the total piss. Was windy as **** up there and we were out of the car, headlights on. Stepped behind a boulder to get out of the wind to light me cigarette (headlights shining on the boulder so pitch black behind it). Stepped behind the boulder and promptly fell off the mountain cos the boulder was at the edge and there was no ground behind it....... I dropped and slid a good few feet in pitch black. Scared the life out of myself but also didn't hurt myself thankfully.

Also when I was younger and more foolish I was totally plastered and walking up the street when I realised I couldn't see straight. Also realised then that it wasn't cos I was drunk rather my glasses weren't on my face any more... My version of events is that I looked around for a bit with my mates then got grumpy and went home when in fact I apparently crawled around for 30 mins on my hands and knees vomiting and looking for my glasses at the same time although thats more embarrassing than scary/funny. I also had to be at work at 8.30 the following morning with no spare glasses and working with a computer screen. (I never got that drunk again and never found my glasses either)

Well, these didn't happen to me but i was there.....all these stories happened to the same mate ...he's diabetic, english and shouldn't be allowed drink!

walking by Pearse street garda stn, this friend kicked the wing mirror off a taxi...with the driver in it and 4 garda watching him. We all just looked at him in total shock as he ran 10 yards and then continued to walk normally as if nothing happened....he got arrested,spent the rest of the night in a cell. It went to court and the whole thing cost him about IR£300.....

Another time at club 92 (leopardstown race course) he decided to take a short cut thru the course and was climbing over the fence when he slipped and fell on one of the poles which had a spike on it....it went right thru his bicep and missed his artery by mm.Ambulance called. He is still scarred.

after a night out, we headed back to his place to discover he had forgotton his keys...so he decided to break a window....but instead of using a stone or something...he punched it....and managed not to break his fingers but gash himself severly on the wrist....again missed the arteries but i didn't think it at the time and ambulance called.

Went to Sydney for the year with himself and a few mates,one day we went on all day drinking binge with a few mates, his girlfriend was at home, so it was just the lads. We decided to go to a strip club in Kings cross about 2am...all going grand, till i went to the bathroom and on returining to the main room, see the same mate climbing on stage...at first i thought he was trying to drunkenly go after one of the strippers and i went to try and get him and protect him from the huge bouncers but one of the bouncers stopped me and told me it was "part of the act"...so i sat down again and watched the stripper give him a lap dance in front of everyone....and then lie heim down on the stage, take his pants off, blow him and then put a condom on and ride him on stage......i didn't know where to look... :eek:

All scary to me....

RuggieBear wrote:

Well, these didn't happen to me but i was there.....all these stories happened to the same mate ...he's diabetic, english and shouldn't be allowed drink!

walking by Pearse street garda stn, this friend kicked the wing mirror off a taxi...with the driver in it and 4 garda watching him. We all just looked at him in total shock as he ran 10 yards and then continued to walk normally as if nothing happened....he got arrested,spent the rest of the night in a cell. It went to court and the whole thing cost him about IR£300.....

Another time at club 92 (leopardstown race course) he decided to take a short cut thru the course and was climbing over the fence when he slipped and fell on one of the poles which had a spike on it....it went right thru his bicep and missed his artery by mm.Ambulance called. He is still scarred.

after a night out, we headed back to his place to discover he had forgotton his keys...so he decided to break a window....but instead of using a stone or something...he punched it....and managed not to break his fingers but gash himself severly on the wrist....again missed the arteries but i didn't think it at the time and ambulance called.

Went to Sydney for the year with himself and a few mates,one day we went on all day drinking binge with a few mates, his girlfriend was at home, so it was just the lads. We decided to go to a strip club in Kings cross about 2am...all going grand, till i went to the bathroom and on returining to the main room, see the same mate climbing on stage...at first i thought he was trying to drunkenly go after one of the strippers and i went to try and get him and protect him from the huge bouncers but one of the bouncers stopped me and told me it was "part of the act"...so i sat down again and watched the stripper give him a lap dance in front of everyone....and then lie heim down on the stage, take his pants off, blow him and then put a condom on and ride him on stage......i didn't know where to look... :eek:

All scary to me....

Sounds like a few people I know. Although none of them are English, or diabetic that I'm aware of.

Canis Lupus wrote:

Hey Tony remember when u fell asleep wrapped around a toilet.... Thats fairly tame compared to the rest of the stuff but was still funny

Yeah that was class alright. Passed out and then woke up watching Jerry Springer on the sofa.

Dr. Loon wrote:

Has he ever píssed on a fridge? Or broken into a strangers house?

lol....i think he once told me he pissed in his wardrobe by mistake.....did you break into a strangers house!?

Apologies for going off topic but i've actually, just remembered another story about this mate of mine....not scary!

At Halloween, in the buttery (TCD bar) we were all dressed up and hammered and he went to the bar and started chatting up this guy dressed in drag...altho my mate didn't realise it was a bloke...the guy in drag played along as he thought my mate was just ripping the piss until he realised he wasn't and got a horrified look on his face and went "I'm a bloke".....

While being very drunk one night in supermac's in Dublin i was pissed off waiting in the huge cue that had developed and i went behind the counter myself. Started to pour some cokes and get chips then proceeded to hand them out to my freinds ............. needless to say security removed me soon afterwards!!

I was living in London with some other Irish lads. One night we went out getting the cheapest alcohol we could find, and came back with cases of no-name, horrible beer and this Romanian wine that tasted like after-shave. Anyway, we downed it and headed off out.

I have no recollection of the night (except for an image of some parallel lines) so my friends had to fill me in on what happened.

While we were waiting for the tube to head downtown, I decided to jump down onto the tracks. I was apparently playing hopscotch on them, with all these women screaming, thinking I was going to get killed. Luckily, one of my friends managed to grab me and pulled me up.

We continued down to Stockwell and went to "The Swan" - rough enough Irish pub. The lads sat me down at the bar to keep me out of trouble. A few minutes later the lights went out and the music came grinding to a halt. The lads looked around to see where I was, and I was walking towards them with a triumphant grim on my face and all these ripped-out wires in my hand. They grabbed me and we ran off.

We go to another pub, and as soon as we walk in the door, I march straight up to a crowd of skinheads and ask them if they have ever considered the benefits a communist society could bring. Again, friends grab me and we exit stage left.

Eventually, they bring me into Club UK and I manage to fall asleep on top of a speaker. Pounding headache the next morning was my souvenir from that one.

When I did wake up the next day, the lads were telling me I was lucky to be alive. I pulled all these wires out of my pocket, and they had to explain to me where they came from.

Jaysis, I loved London. I had to leave, though. I'd have gotten killed.

I only have one scary drunken experience & it's where I tried to off myself & failed [thank jebus!!!]....

Funny one - mate asked me to draw a swastika on his forehead for a lugh [how was that even funny] in the middle of a pub with his g/f's lipstick & without a second thought, I drew a big cock on his forehead instead which he waltzed around the pub with for about 2 mins before realising...


::: ven0mous :::