Do Women not know of the "Sprinkler" effect?

Paladin · 27-08-2004 10:04AM #1

Just saw a comment in a thread about guys pis$ing on the toilet seat like they have crooked cocks or something.
How stupid do girls think guys are?!?

Point of information:

If a guy accidentally pees outside the "correct" area of a toilet, its not (*usually*) because of bad aim or a crooked cock!
Sometimes its just comes out kinda funny with sort of a sprinkler off to the side or something. I guess the same thing doesnt really happen to circumcised people. This effect seems to be more common after sex btw

There. Us guys arent so stupid as to actually MISS with our piss. However when this happens its only right to get a bit of toilet paper and clean it up

vibrant · 27-08-2004 10:24AM

I'm so thrilled you shared this with us. Thanks for the enlightenment!

karlh · 27-08-2004 10:30AM

Lift Up The Fcuking Seat!

irlirishkev · 27-08-2004 10:37AM

.. And what girls don't notice, generally because they leave the seat down(!), is that they often spray the underside of the seat. This is just as gross as seeing p*ss on the seat when a guy hasn't put it up..

Sorry to be crude, but I didn't start it

Kevin.

Sleipnir · 27-08-2004 10:38AM

Ah but even with the seat up, some splashing may occur in the upright position.
Then again, if you do hit the seat and then need initiate a ballistic correction, wipe the fecking thing.

Some people really don't know how to use a toilet though.

_blank_ · 27-08-2004 10:46AM

Paladin wrote:

I guess the same thing doesnt really happen to circumcised people.

I'm guessing you're un-circumsised then? Man, if you are getting this so-called "Sprinkler Affect", just pull back the oul foreskin so the japs-eye is not in contact with it, you'll get a much straighter line of piss this way.

Anyway, do all blokes not do this, or am I just weird?

(The things you can ask as an anonymous person! )

irlirishkev · 27-08-2004 10:47AM

sleipnir wrote:

Some people really don't know how to use a toilet though

What amazes me in this day and age, is how some dirty fecker in my office still goes into the cubicle, dribbles on the toilet seat, and doesn't wipe it up.. What a scumbag!

K.

seamus · 27-08-2004 10:50AM

seansouth wrote:

I'm guessing you're un-circumsised then? Man, if you are getting this so-called "Sprinkler Affect", just pull back the oul foreskin so the japs-eye is not in contact with it, you'll get a much straighter line of piss this way.

Anyway, do all blokes not do this, or am I just weird?

I don't anyway. Makes it worse, it goes everywhere in a fine mist.

Gf has told me that more often that not you go into a girls' toilets and you find piss on the upside of the seat, basically meaning that some dirty bints don't wipe before standing up/leaving.

Think about this the next time some random girl you've scored heads off to the loo

Going Demented · 27-08-2004 10:52AM

Uh lovely - Thanks for educating us women.

irlirishkev · 27-08-2004 11:08AM

seamus wrote:

Gf has told me that more often that not you go into a girls' toilets and you find piss on the upside of the seat, basically meaning that some dirty bints don't wipe before standing up/leaving

I shared a house with a girl who was guilty of this (I've shared with a few girls so i'm not being too blatent here..). It was manky. Mind you, she was a filthy bitch at the best of times..
I on the other hand, am perfect. :cool:

Kevin.

Going Demented · 27-08-2004 11:16AM

Some of the dirty f*cks don't ever bother to flush the toilet nevermind wipe!
They have put a sign up in the LADIES toilets where i work reminding people to flush the toilet! Manky! :mad:

Paladin · 27-08-2004 12:01PM

karlh wrote:

Lift Up The Fcuking Seat!

Well this applies to pee on the rim or floor also.

But yes, obviously people should wipe up if this happens. Pretty manky living in a house with 8 students who dont. UGH.

Sleipnir · 27-08-2004 12:08PM

I used to work in a nasty place in Wicklow about 10 years ago (open to the public) and I can say, hand on heart, that the women's toilets were FAR worse than the mens.

Some of the things I saw. Oh the horror..........

po0k · 27-08-2004 12:12PM

seansouth wrote:

(The things you can ask as an anonymous person!)

This is the internet.

Nothing you do or say is anonymous.

irlirishkev · 27-08-2004 12:18PM

Sleipnir wrote:

Some of the things I saw. Oh the horror..........

Care to elaborate?

GreeBo · 27-08-2004 12:24PM

SyxPak wrote:

This is the internet.

Internet, eh?
they have that on computers now, right?

Paladin · 27-08-2004 12:24PM

I worked in a night-club and had to clean toilets. The womens were way way worse than mens.

Care to elaborate?

Ugh no. Use your imagination. Women seem to have poorer control when sick

Hagar · 27-08-2004 12:34PM

Its hard enough trying to control this beast with only 2 hands, and you want accuracy as well

karma kabbage · 27-08-2004 12:38PM

Right, claim guilty on account of ill-advised aim (under drink influence) hope all noted my dodgy pun I'm enternally apologetic, really!

But as for the rest?!? blerg!! Standards people!! Anyone?

Going Demented · 27-08-2004 12:40PM

Paladin wrote:

Women seem to have poorer control when sick

Ugh. I'm one of those. One night it was bad, very bad. Without going into details! Oh the shame. My puking aim has been perfect since but yes you are correct, poor control when sick (and drunk) is soooo true.

You see some sick things in ladies toilets thats for sure. But i can't compare to the mens loo's as i have only ever drunkenly staggered in and realised my mistake and bolted back out.

karma kabbage · 27-08-2004 12:58PM

Having thought about it though . . there might be a factor not considered. Now I don't want to make excuses, as that's not fair. But it has to be said that men's toilets are used less. Excluded the few clubs/pubs/buildings which have more ladies than mens facilities. Men have larger bladders and . . . well. . . . just don't go to the toilet as much as women do, offten in swarms. This could at least contribute to the messier state of womens rooms of an evening?

AdMMM · 27-08-2004 01:01PM

I just hate it in the morning when you go for a pi1ss, only to realise that its all shooting off to the left or right!

seamus · 27-08-2004 01:12PM

karma kabbage wrote:

Having thought about it though . . there might be a factor not considered. Now I don't want to make excuses, as that's not fair. But it has to be said that men's toilets are used less. Excluded the few clubs/pubs/buildings which have more ladies than mens facilities. Men have larger bladders and . . . well. . . . just don't go to the toilet as much as women do, offten in swarms. This could at least contribute to the messier state of womens rooms of an evening?

No, it's because women use toilets as salons. Men go into the toilet, leave their waste, wash their hands (most of the time) and leave.
Women go in, check themselves in the mirror. Have a brief chat to the friends thay came in with. Do their business, wash their hands, reapply makeup, chat more to friends, check and double-check makeup, comment on how bad their outfit makes them look, attempt to fix said non-existent flaw in garment, continue chatting, then leave.

They also leave behind much more waste in the form of cleansing wipes, powder puffs, tampons, empty makeup containers, etc.

Going Demented · 27-08-2004 01:20PM

seamus wrote:

Women go in, check themselves in the mirror. Have a brief chat to the friends thay came in with. Do their business, wash their hands, reapply makeup, chat more to friends, check and double-check makeup, comment on how bad their outfit makes them look, attempt to fix said non-existent flaw in garment, continue chatting, then leave..

Before we can leave after doing all that we need to use the toilet again!

What you've said is pretty close for the start of the night but for me anyway after a few drinks i have to use the bathroom every 15 minutes at least so it's get in there, do the business, wash the hands, get out.

Suaimhneach · 27-08-2004 02:28PM

My aunt has two little boys, and to help them aim right, she bought one of these little ball thingies that some woman in america made millions off. Basically its a ball, that floats in the toilet and the man peeing has to aim at it.

Granted a cork from a wine bottle or something would do the same trick rather than buying it from some american person.

But basically, turning peeing into a game, and giving them [blokes, and kids] something to concentrate on, the peeing on the seat stopoed. Even for the two kids dad!

Scruff · 27-08-2004 02:39PM

that sound like fun, must get one!
i know that when ever i had to go for a piss in a pub etc i used always try and break up and cigarettes in the urinal with my piss and wash them down the plug whole. was very entertaining altogether, alot of factors like power, accuracy, direction and splash back to take in to account. Not to mention if it was a trough urinal you had also to watch out how enthusiastis ye got when other people were using it as well! but ever since the smoking ban, going for a piss has not been the same, bits of chewing gum and paper just arent as much fun

seamus · 27-08-2004 03:27PM

Scruff wrote:

Not to mention if it was a trough urinal you had also to watch out how enthusiastis ye got when other people were using it as well! but ever since the smoking ban, going for a piss has not been the same, bits of chewing gum and paper just arent as much fun

Trough urinals are the spawn of the devil.

Ladies, just be glad you never have to use one of these. Invariably it will get clogged up by the guy who decided to puke in it, or someone moron will piss perfectly horizontally against it, causing a sprinkling splashback which doesn't touch him, but goes all over the two poor sods who have to stand beside him, and spend the next 5 minutes washing their entire arms.

HashSlinging · 27-08-2004 03:41PM

why can't you just sit when you take a piss.... ??

handy when your rolling a dube... :cool:

irlirishkev · 27-08-2004 03:44PM

hashslinging wrote:

handy when your rolling a dube...

Nice...
Do you scratch your balls aswell, just before breaking up the ingredients.. with the same finger

K.

shiv · 27-08-2004 04:54PM

Hagar wrote:

Its hard enough trying to control this beast with only 2 hands, and you want accuracy as well

and here i thought it was just like a really big toe..

Blisterman · 27-08-2004 05:40PM

The worst are urinals with splashback, this is where the urinal is angled in such a way, that the piss sprays off it onto your pants. The trick is to aim sideways. Not when someone else is beside you though.

Do Women not know of the "Sprinkler" effect?

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