Are we too promiscuous?

find a hobby

Can we ever be promiscuous enough? (BTW country girls are easier than dubs, fact)

Originally posted by The Corinthian
No, they just tend to have their own places rather than live with their parents from a younger age.

touché my good man. (or however you spell it)

I was just saying to a friend last night that I was thinking of writing a book on a similar sort of subject...

Originally posted by The Corinthian
No, they just tend to have their own places rather than live with their parents from a younger age.

Indeed. The vast majority of Dublin girls I know still hang around in the parental home until married. Even those who leave home (and say go to college in London, or down the country), will eventually return to live in the home once their course/contract/etc is over.
Once they do get married, they'll kick and scream and pout until their boyfriend/fiance/husband agrees to buy a house close to the parental home, although this is becoming less common now due to obvious financial differences between a first time buyer and a well-established homeowner. I still know plenty of girls who would prefer to live in a pokey 2-bed apartment 5 minutes from their parent's house, than pay a similar amount of money in a less...um...posh area, for a 4-bed 30 minutes from the parental home.
It's this neediness of their parents that makes them less easy, since they constantly feel (subconsciously) under the control or within the circle of their parents, and as such still feel like they're bound to some extent by what their parents would feel.

Country girls however are more used to moving out in order to secure better employment and better men than toothless Sean from down the road. Once moved out, they obviously no longer have a subconscious need to conform to their parent's ideals, and are freer to develop and explore their own.

(In general)

My 2c.

So we're more promiscuous than previous generations? I think not tbh, just look at the babyboomers of the states, the hedonism of the 80's.

I don't think we're any more, or less, promiscuous than previous generations, we're just bitter, cynical and greedy.

Originally posted by alleepally
Bullsh1t. Talk to anyone over the age of 55 or 60 and they'll tell you that they had much happier times AND funnily enough, any that I have spoken to aren't walking around with an axe to grind about "the church".

Funny that you'd quote Des Bishop below, and not think about that. We all think the past was great. Hindsight may be 20/20, but it's funny how we forget about the bad things. When you're 20, it was great being a teenager, and none of your responsibilities, and bills to pay. When you're 30, it was great being 20, when you had no kids and no house. When you're 40, it was great being 30, etc. It does change a little, but both my parents are over 55, and they've no doubt - we have a much better life than they did. They're certainly much happier than they used to be, and we're much happier than they were at our age.

hmm... Why is there so many self help groups out there. more people seek counselling than ever before. Suicide on the increase. Binge drinking, street crime, teen rape on the increase etc etc., more people feeling disconnected?

Some of those are partly because of increased uncovering of such issues, and others are symptoms of modern life. If you think that teen rape, drunken violence and suicide didn't occur 50 years ago, you're sorely mistaken. There are plenty of bad things from 50 years ago which are on the decrease now or are non-existent - Systemic abuse of power by Gardai, sexual assualt in prisons & schools, women being "blessed" and cleaned out by Priests, young single mothers being virtual outcasts, devoid of support. That's the nature of society. We remove one evil, and another takes its place. It's constantly evolving and changing. Which is why there are other problems in society today which didn't exist 50 years ago, or were certainly very rare. To say the world is any more evil than it was before is taking a very narrow view of the world as a whole.

Was watching the repeat of Des Bishops programme last night. There was a guy from a country in Africa who was working in Superquinn. THe only place he found any connection or community was in the local church. It's a force for good for many people despite the knockers like yourself who probably consider themselves very liberal and right on, except when it comes to "the church"

You'd probably label me as someone with a grudge against "the church". I would have exactly the same sentiments as Des Bishop last night - I have no interest in religion whatsoever, screw sins and all that bull****, but what was taking place in that church was just phenomenal. People just enjoying life, coming together, praising life - that's religion! Religion at it's purest should simply strive to unite people in enjoyment of life, any beliefs in Gods, common moral goals, are just a tool to attempt to create that unity.

Originally posted by fragile
Oh, and I have asked people in the 50-60 age group which times were better, and all of them agree, that working, raising children, growing up etc., is much easier now.

And we'll be saying the same thing in 30 years time ourselves,
/Grandpa simpson voice
I remember, nineteen dickety two it was, times were tough then, not like today... etc / Grandpa simpson voice

The leaving, my finals, all easier in reterospect. I've no doubt I'll find the same is true of parenting and other challenges I'll face

while i cannot agree with your viewpoint that the past was a happier life (i bend towards same world different problems) i do agree there is something missing on the social level in many young people today.

Your brother sounds familer to alot of friends i have and they seem to be going through similar problems with their lives and i personnally draw the line at what is considered a 'social' life in the western world (not just ireland) niether the modern bar (not a pub now a BAR) nor the nightclubs are places of socializing, in fact i could draw the line that they can be among the most unemotional, animalistic places in the world. People tend to either stay in groups of friends they know (Claiming couches with their coats and securing that said coach for the entire night) or you get frenzied attempts to impress the opposite sex with dancing drinking etc. NOW i'm not saying this is all bad and boo hiss. BUT i ask you have you ever thought pass the physical attraction in the night club and how often have you ended up with a semi-long term relationship. Rarely in my and my friends experiance. There is a lack in the modern world a place to sprout a successful relationship more akin to what the original poster is thinking of. Our inspirations, romantic films and novels tend to have chance meetings in parks etc. But in real life people tend to pass off more as stalkers or other unsavory characters in those situations. The best places seem to be work places, school and college. But that also leads to problems of friends becoming lovers with all the worries that if said relationship failed what about friendship? There does in the end seem to be a lack of a constant place where to meet new people on a social level. The best situations tend to be events which are not constant, festivals concerts house parties so on can be good.


And for those asking why only now, they had clubs in 60s etc.:

They are not the same as the tightly packed nightclubs of today whose main focus is the dancefloor which is where 80% of the interaction occurs. also its kinda difficult to catch someones name in those same nightclubs.



but thats only my 2 cent.

while i appreciate your complement. I feel the problem is slowly beginning to address itself,

spurred on by the overshadow of the smoking ban pubs and clubs are forcing themselves to be appealing for more reasons then just dancing and drinking this makes the problem more of an economical situation where if one is wise would invest in ideas to make a more social orianted service in the cities and towns (for example in new york the rise of the cafe as a social point, of course media encouraged it with shows like friends)

outside ireland i have seen clubs attempt to make themselves more varied and appealing, most of the clubs in studant areas like cambridge are divided between a traditional club area and the sound proof social areas. One club is split into 4 distinct area's including a casino, the problem with that club though is that each area is horrendisaly small and leads to messy overcrowding like cattle.


Other variations, long since considered...nerdy, such as online chat services etc are becoming more popular, so a large percentage of your bachalors are ending up there, wether you feel they should go to such levels or not.



on your term of 'simple days of past' can you please give me a rough date your thinking of. Cause i cant really think of a simple time in irish history in the last 100 years. I mean War of independence, Civil war (affected everyone), The 'Emergency' The problems in the north flooding down here, the large amounts of unemployment and emmigration. I cant find anything simple there. And though you can argue some of those problems are too big, trust me they hit the normal 'simple' people quite alot.


On your notions of suicide *sigh* i cant really give you a defitnite answer. There are so many diverse reasons for suicide from medical, psychological to social to drugs and so on as you have named a few. You can argue that many of today's modern teachings indirectly encourage suicide while in the past in a very Hobbes (not the board member) viewpoint the average person was'nt allowed to commit suicide. Today we have the scary notion of personal freedom, which in desperate times can be very misleading.



Yes I did state something was missing in today's world but it will slowly heal itself over and if it doesnt people need to teach themselves to patch over the problems. I like nightclubs, but thats not where i meet new and interesting people and i tend to do that by diversing myself through events in college around my home town and in dublin and thats how i meet new people, my friends who i mentioned in a earlier post dont have this diversity i have because they feel trapped in the small town we are all from and this is where the lack of a social place in such a small town leads to problems experianced by them and i assume in some roundabout way by your brother. Thats not to say every person with this problem come from a small town, it can appear anywhere a person feels trapped (not literally but in choice).


i'm rambling and losing train of thought so i'll shut up.