Girlfriends family

LegacyUser · 08-07-2004 08:21AM #1

I went to meet my girlfriends family for the first time last night, we had a meal at her house and everything was going so well untill the question of religion came up. Once my girlfriend had pointed out that i was jewish, her family members (mother, father, little sister, older brother) all started having a bit of a giggle at my jewish expense, the brother cracked a few jewish jokes, the father kept asking me about those "stupid hats" we wear and i could have sworn i saw the little sister shape her mash into a swastica. The annoying part is that my girlfriend didn't really seem to object to any of it, she kinda looked at it as harmless family humor, which is great if you're not on the recieving end of the nazi baton. She was rubbing my leg under the table whilst her little sister was imitating my kippot (the jewish hat) with half a melon on her head. When the meal ended, i declinded the tour of the house in fear of finding a gas chamber.

The whole things weird, they're so open about how big of a joke my religion is to them, or so it seems. They're really nice people and i don't think they mean any harm but its all a bit too hurtfull. They've asked me back to watch a video next week but im betting they'll rent American History X or something. I don't want to break up my girlfriend over this because shes really hot.

Is anyone or has anyone ever been in a similar situation? (doubtfull, i know). Any advice would be great.

Thanks alot,

Jim

rs · 08-07-2004 09:06AM

I imagine they were just having a bit of fun with you.

I think it's an irish law that parents and famiy members have to make "the new boyfriend" as uncomfortable as is humanly possible.

I'd try not to take it personally.

I think most people in Ireland don't take ANY religion very seriously anymore, thanks to how the catholic church has treated them.

koneko · 08-07-2004 09:18AM

Doubt they meant it maliciously, they were probably trying to make light of things to make the situation more comfortable for themselves aswell, instead of sitting around uncomfortably silent. If you weren't Jewish, but they found out something else (like your job) they probably would have used that.

If it makes you really uncomfortable, tell the GF, but unless they keep it up and make really inappropriate jokes I wouldn't worry. You're probably reading into it to much (swastika etc).

Draupnir · 08-07-2004 09:19AM

Id say its nothing serious, as the above poster said, Irish women's families tend to do this on purpose, its a requirement.

Whenever my sister is bringing a boyfriend home, my dad makes it his business to be out in the garden cutting some wood with either a normal or an electric saw. Then he come into the house with said saw, and keeps it in his hand as he is introduced to the poor lad.

Id say they were just joking, in fact, its probably a good sign that they like you to be honest. They wouldnt be having a laugh and a joke with you if they didnt like you.

Beruthiel · 08-07-2004 09:26AM

the first time I brought my french boyfriend to my parents for the weekend, they brought him into their bedroom, in the corner beside their bed was a little bed, my da told him it was an irish tradition to have him sleep there for the first night!
the look on my b/f face was priceless

LoneGunM@n · 08-07-2004 09:39AM

I'd have to agree with everyone else here ... it's definately an Irish tradition to mess with the head of the new boyfriend!!

Give it time!

Originally posted by Beruthiel
the first time I brought my french boyfriend to my parents for the weekend, they brought him into their bedroom, in the corner beside their bed was a little bed, my da told him it was an irish tradition to have him sleep there for the first night!
the look on my b/f face was priceless

Excellent ... I'll have to write that 1 down for future use!

GoneShootin · 08-07-2004 09:47AM

Twas only a bit of a roasting I would suspect. It's easy for me to say it as I wasn't in the situation, but why didn't you make some snappy comebacks about their religion ?(watever it is)

Grow some stones man ! You'll have to be around her family for a long time if the relationship keeps going, don't be afraid to chance your arm with em

My girlfriend had a rough time with my Mother, but as soon as the girlfriend started standing up for herself with a bit of "banter" it was plain sailing from there.

(jesus has it been 4 years already ? good lord....)

Sleepy · 08-07-2004 10:30AM

Christ, get over yourself. Life isn't that serious. If someone takes the piss out of you being Jewish it doesn't mean they're a Nazi. I used to take the piss out of my ex all the time because she was Protestant, and the ex before that because she was Catholic.

I'm not so sure it's just an Irish thing for the girlfriends Da to give the new boyfriend grief. Think about it, in his eyes she's still the little girl with ribbons in her hair and clutching her toy doll. It's natural for him to want to put the shits up you a little to try and make sure you don't screw around his daughter.

You're not American by any chance are ya?

[CrimsonGhost] · 08-07-2004 10:56AM

Originally posted by Sleepy
Christ, get over yourself. Life isn't that serious. If someone takes the piss out of you being Jewish it doesn't mean they're a Nazi. I used to take the piss out of my ex all the time because she was Protestant, and the ex before that because she was Catholic.

And you wonder why you have so many ex's.

Emmo · 08-07-2004 11:05AM

Lads and ladies,

Insult is not only in the intention but also in the interpretation of the same.

If you didnt feel comfortable with the jibes then they will pick up on that sooner or later.

Im from Dublin and when I went home with my girlfriend to Wexford for the first time I was subjected to the worst abuse I have ever known.

Suffice to say that I took it and just gave as good as I got cause im thick skinned but if they had grosely insulted me I dont know how I would have taken that.

There might be a certain level of immaturity or ignorance towards the Jewish faith, I remember the first time I saw a Hisidic (excuse the spelling) Jew in New York, I caught myself starring.

They would not intentionally want to hurt you unless your really unlucky, most likely they dont know how to react to the fact your Jewish combined with the normal ribbing that new boyfriends get and your arrived where you are.

Go back to watch the video but insist on something by Mel Brooks, maybe Brazling Saddles, great line where one of the towns folk says "okay we will take the ni**ers and the jews but we are not talking the Irish"

Emmo

Beruthiel · 08-07-2004 11:17AM

why don't you try a Bill Hicks line?

why do Catholics wear crosses around their necks, you think when Jesus comes back he wants to be reminded that he was left hanging on one?

cheers lemming

Sleepy · 08-07-2004 11:47AM

Originally posted by [CrimsonGhost]
And you wonder why you have so many ex's.

Not really...

But hey, better to have loved and lost and all that...

The Corinthian · 08-07-2004 12:51PM

The very few times I’ve ever had contact with the family of a girlfriend, Italian jokes have abounded. In part because the ritual humiliation of the daughter’s boyfriend is a time honoured tradition and also because many people consider humour to be a way of bridging the gap with someone of a different culture, creed or race.

So get over it. Being Jewish makes you no different to any other different boyfriend - outside of that crucifying our Lord Jesus Christ episode.

seamus · 08-07-2004 12:57PM

Funnily enough, I never had to endure anything like this. About the worst was her mother grilling me for 5 minutes on where I was going in life. But her family are quite quiet and reserved, so it wouldn't happen anyway. About alll I get now is light jabs from her father because now I work in one of his place's direct competitors - but I couldn't care less about the politics, so I just laugh it off.

embee · 08-07-2004 03:56PM

My parents are cool about my boyfriend and it usually tends to be the case that when we are all in the same room. my parents and boyfriend will team together to slag me off. I don't mind though - it shows me that they are all comfortable together, so I'll go along with it.

A friend of mine has a really hard time introducing her parents to boyfriends. The three times she has tried to do it, her parents have either been disgusted or completely indifferent. I dunno which is worse. She brought a guy home once who had a few facial piercings and a tattoo on the back of his neck... Needless to say they didn't like him very much. Another guy she introduced them too was a nice, ordinary guy who had a nice, ordinary job. He was treated with complete indifference, to the point that they couldn't be bothered trying to find out a thing about him. Not even his name, for a while.

I suppose my point is that some people are never satisfied. Just be who you are for your girlfriend and for yourself. Her family are clearly insensitive people, but its not them you are going out with. Try to take their actions with a pinch of salt.

Sleepy · 08-07-2004 04:30PM

I know what you mean about the family and boyfriend teaming up on you, my mother and sister have teamed up with every girlfriend I've ever had to completely rip the piss out of me!

Doodee · 08-07-2004 06:25PM

I wouldn't worry.
I remeber when i met my current girlfriends parents.
her father shook my hand, grabed me by the shoulder and took me aside, he told me "I'm going to kill you" and smiled.

I thought it was quite funny.

Nowdays the parents just play little jokes on me, like making chokey faces at the dinner table, or even pretending to cut my brake fluid lines.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Typedef · 08-07-2004 07:01PM

Yeah brakes are highly over rated.

I don't mind parents as a creed, but, fathers seem to sense I'm nothing but trouble. Mothers of girlfriends, generally seem to like or at least tolerate me, while fathers... always seem to come across as just short of openly hostile.

Anytime I intorduce a female to my mother or father I get the same tired responses from them, so generally as a rule, a fairly recent rule I'll admit, I think the less my parents know about any chick I happen to be with and the less that chicks parents know about me, the better.

Way I see it, if I ever have a shot gun wedding, I might introduce the lady to my mother *after* we're married, so mother (who's wonderful) can't say anything mean or nasty and father (who's cool) won't try to get her into bed or convice me otherwise that being a bachelor until I turn 70 should be my goal in life.

Parents are great like that.

Boston · 08-07-2004 07:05PM

Originally posted by Doodee
I wouldn't worry.
I remeber when i met my current girlfriends parents.
her father shook my hand, grabed me by the shoulder and took me aside, he told me "I'm going to kill you" and smiled.

I thought it was quite funny.

Nowdays the parents just play little jokes on me, like making chokey faces at the dinner table, or even pretending to cut my brake fluid lines.

I wouldn't worry about it.

A but wanting to kill you is the default response to meeting you...:p

Mutz · 08-07-2004 11:15PM

Originally posted by Doodee
....
her father shook my hand, grabed me by the shoulder and took me aside, he told me "I'm going to kill you" and smiled.

.........

Brilliant!

Zulu · 09-07-2004 10:00AM

just a little sensitive aren't we???

Megatron · 09-07-2004 10:41AM

When i was introduceded to my my ex's parents ( who are finnish) i got a roasting over being Irish .....

and i let it roll off me .. they kept it up and i kept my mouth shut ,
after a while they sort of got bored of it .
Then they jumped back on the bashing Irish Bandwagon, at that stage i just turned around and said :

Ok so your slagging off the irish ...

1. the irish are generaly know for the great writers, being friendly and always Polite ( yes i lied on the last one)

2. the Finnish are know for .... living in a cold place , and having the most boring Fomula 1 champion ever.

3. from what i've seen in the 2 months of living here ( Lived in Turku) most Finnish people my age can't hold there drink let alone drink it.

that shut them up ... now they did come back slagging me but they knew not to push it too far

D-Generate · 09-07-2004 12:48PM

Originally posted by Megatron
When i was introduceded to my my ex's parents ( who are finnish) i got a roasting over being Irish .....

and i let it roll off me .. they kept it up and i kept my mouth shut ,
after a while they sort of got bored of it .
Then they jumped back on the bashing Irish Bandwagon, at that stage i just turned around and said :

Ok so your slagging off the irish ...

1. the irish are generaly know for the great writers, being friendly and always Polite ( yes i lied on the last one)

2. the Finnish are know for .... living in a cold place , and having the most boring Fomula 1 champion ever.

3. from what i've seen in the 2 months of living here ( Lived in Turku) most Finnish people my age can't hold there drink let alone drink it.

that shut them up ... now they did come back slagging me but they knew not to push it too far

Dude you are going wiht a Scandanavian girl! Just take the abuse I am sure its worth it

Beruthiel · 09-07-2004 12:55PM

Originally posted by D-Generate
Dude you are going wiht a Scandanavian girl! Just take the abuse I am sure its worth it

he said 'ex'

joe_chicken · 09-07-2004 01:06PM

we wear and i could have sworn i saw the little sister shape her mash into a swastica

now thats just being paranoid!!!

po0k · 09-07-2004 01:11PM

blatant troll.

Or at least I hope it is.

If it's real, you're merely adding to the stereotypical victim complex pushed by the mainstream American media.

NO-ONE ELSE REALLY CARES IF YOU'RE JEWISH, ORTHODOX CHRISTIAN, WHORSHIP HEINZ KETHCUP OR SACRIFICE LEMONS INFRONT OF A TELLIETUBBIES ALTAR!

Organised religion is a load of balls.

OT: As has been pointed out, they were taking the piss (though a young girl knowing what a kippot is is bloody unlikely). Get over it. Your faith merely facilitated the jibing, because it is rather funny

All that eye-for-an-eye stuff, the mutilation of baby boys genitals, optimus prime etc.
Much like Christianity, Islam, Hindu et al - all present great opportuinties for taking the piss.

Just because you're a dry-balls and lacked the modicum of wit required to rebut their taunts you feel as though they have committed some sort of heinous transgression against you?

Muppet.

po0k · 09-07-2004 01:22PM

Originally posted by Megatron
When i was introduceded to my my ex's parents ( who are finnish) i got a roasting over being Irish .....

and i let it roll off me .. they kept it up and i kept my mouth shut ,
after a while they sort of got bored of it .
Then they jumped back on the bashing Irish Bandwagon, at that stage i just turned around and said :

Ok so your slagging off the irish ...

1. the irish are generaly know for the great writers, being friendly and always Polite ( yes i lied on the last one)

2. the Finnish are know for .... living in a cold place , and having the most boring Fomula 1 champion ever.

3. from what i've seen in the 2 months of living here ( Lived in Turku) most Finnish people my age can't hold there drink let alone drink it.

that shut them up ... now they did come back slagging me but they knew not to push it too far

And we don't spend half the year in darkness

Caesar_Bojangle · 10-07-2004 01:57AM

just a little sensitive aren't we???

wtf?

If you were at your English girlfriends house for the first time and her family were constantly ripping on you for being Irish and telling every stereotypical thick mick and famine joke they knew you wouldn't be a tad pissed off?
It was more ignorance than banter. Next time you're there tell them they're making you feel uncomfortable, or tell as many catholic church/culchie jokes till they get the message.

Victor · 10-07-2004 04:53PM

Awfully trolly, but just drop "yeah, [girlfriend's name] screams like a trapped animal when you take her from behind."

Originally posted by SyxPak
And we don't spend half the year in darkness

Hang on whats that night thing?

Originally posted by Caesar_Bojangle
If you were at your English girlfriends house for the first time and her family were constantly ripping on you for being Irish and telling every stereotypical thick mick and famine joke they knew you wouldn't be a tad pissed off?

Thats an easy one, just put on a northern accent and say "Aiii no where you live."

Crash · 11-07-2004 12:33AM

heh gf's parents are always bastards ( in my case t was the mother alright) but they end up ok in the end

just persevere and it'll be ok

cleareyed · 11-07-2004 12:41AM

i saw the little sister shape her mash into a swastica.

This gives the game away! A brilliant troll otherwise. Well done.

Girlfriends family

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