Can men and women be just friends?

magissa · 04-05-2004 10:39AM #1

hey guys im doing research on whether men and women can be friends without attraction getting in the the way. so if your over 18, heterosexual and have a friend of the opposite sex could you pleaseeeee do my online survey. hopefully we can finally get some answers!

thanks

http://www.media.swin.edu.au/surveyor/survey.asp?s=01237222228079097

Dave · 04-05-2004 10:47AM

Some people are going to say "Yes, of course men and women can be platonic friends" and others are going to say "No", I think it all depends on the people. There is no definitive answer.

pork99 · 04-05-2004 10:54AM

Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bloodhoundgang/iwishiwasqueersoicouldgetchicks.html

UnrealQueen · 04-05-2004 10:54AM

What?? Of course men and women can just be friends, but i'm interested to hear what males have to say on the subject.

Superman · 04-05-2004 12:33PM

i'm a guy and i think,
A man and a woman can be friends, as long as you both see it that way it will be a grand friendship. But if one of the sides wants more than friendship you can't really expect it to last.
I know a few girls and they are friends but i wouldn't want to get all serious with them.

I think the qeustion itself "Can men and women be just friends?" is quite problematic, as it uses "just friends", which really just plays down the idea of frienship as not as good as a relationship.

(sorry if my english is abit shit, i'm not the best at it)

Giblet · 04-05-2004 12:44PM

Ha Ha, they always want to fuck you girls, sorry.

savemejebus · 04-05-2004 12:45PM

Of course men and women can be friends, they can even be platonic friends if they find each other repulsively ugly, on the other hand if the guy finds the girl even the least bit attractive, and the opportunity arises (both single, drunk, horny etc) then i think the guy would have no qualms about shagging the girl, and then it's bye bye friendship.

Guy point of view

Chinafoot · 04-05-2004 01:03PM

what was with the first half of that survey???

should've been called "how sexist and outdated are you?"

lodgepole · 04-05-2004 01:13PM

Originally posted by savemejebus
Of course men and women can be friends, they can even be platonic friends if they find each other repulsively ugly, on the other hand if the guy finds the girl even the least bit attractive, and the opportunity arises (both single, drunk, horny etc) then i think the guy would have no qualms about shagging the girl, and then it's bye bye friendship.

Guy point of view

That's not true of all guys at all.

Lainey · 04-05-2004 01:32PM

i have quite a few male friends, two of them would be in contact every day.. either by text or meeting up.. you can be friends but i still do think a certain amount of flirting goes on.. i did go off with one of my friends one night but thank god we went back to normal the day after.. phew, and none of our other friends found out either..

Bard · 04-05-2004 01:46PM

Yes. Men and women can just be good friends.

Silly question really.

DEG viper · 04-05-2004 01:51PM

In my opinion i dont think that men and women can be just friends. it is alright in the beginnin but after a while u begin to develop feelings. It has just happened to me recently

mang87 · 04-05-2004 02:03PM

Im friend with a few girls. Been friends with the since I was quite small, 4-5 age range. Doing anything sexual with them would be incredibly wierd :ninja:

Rabies · 04-05-2004 02:17PM

Men and women can be just friends. I have some some female friends that I have known for a good few years. They are just like some of the lads. We go out drinking, have a laugh. Thats it.

I have been with a few of my female friends before. Nothing really changed between us. Went out with one for a few months, we don't speak anymore

It seems to work if its only a bit of fun for a night or two, anything more than that can ruin a friendship.

But of course if there was sex offered on a plate it could be hard to turn it down

Lainey · 04-05-2004 02:24PM

so does the men here honestly think that if a man likes a woman enough to be his friend then he would more than likely want to be with her too????????????

embee · 04-05-2004 02:36PM

That is such a dumb question.

Of course they can be friends.

You really must think very little of people to think that they are so driven by their sexuality that they can never just be friends with someone of the opposite sex.

Bungalow Bill · 04-05-2004 02:38PM

I honestly think that it depends on how attractive each person is. If an attractive male and an attractive female want to be 'just friends' then I don't think it can be possible.

savemejebus · 04-05-2004 02:40PM

Difficult question Lainey, because i think that for a guy wanting to be with someone sexually doesn't necessarily necessitate liking them enough to be friends (i know that if i'm honest with myself there are girls that i don't like personally (vain, materialistic etc) that i would still sleep with if i had the opportunity)

But I also think that if a guy likes a girl enough in the beginning to be friends then it means they have stuff in common and he will eventually cop on to the fact that that is important in relationships and may start having feelings -i'm talking about being good friends here, not buddys, or mates

cournioni · 04-05-2004 02:53PM

In bed... yes.

Chinafoot · 04-05-2004 03:03PM

anyone else losing faith in mankind???? j/k

well i think some responses here arent giving guys enough credit and putting them down to be sex-mad, shallow arses. but i think that may apply to some but not all. i dont think it comes down to just looks. blokes cant be THAT shallow, surely?

anyway i think its a silly question because at the end of the day it really does depend on the people.

joePC · 04-05-2004 03:16PM

Can men and women be just friends?

Yes only if the women is ugly :eek: , even then the bear gogles can get in the way;)

Thanks JoePC

blondie83 · 04-05-2004 03:24PM

Well my college course is dominated by guys, so if guys and girls couldn't be "just" friends I'd have a real problem! Seriously though, I'm friends with quite a few guys and it's grand. I've only ever had them come onto me when they were drunk, but I didn't mind - took it as a compliment:D

tibor · 04-05-2004 03:56PM

See: The Ladder Theory .

Johnny Versace · 04-05-2004 03:59PM

It really depends on how ugly the friend is, what your opinion of sex is, and what your definition of a friend is.

I have slept with a few of my female friends, but I still consider them friends. It was just... drunken fun.

In my mind they're just friends, not lovers or girlfriends or anything like that.

SheroN · 04-05-2004 04:00PM

you're the dude though, dude.

Johnny Versace · 04-05-2004 04:03PM

I'm not off topic!!

Originally posted by SheroN
you're the dude though, dude.

adonis · 04-05-2004 04:08PM

i think there is a difference that a man would have with a man, compared with the one a man would have with a woman.

so it depends on what defininition of friendship you are arguing about

i find nearly all women remotely attractive, so i have never had a proper friendship without a hidden agenda.

savemejebus · 04-05-2004 04:20PM

i think that women become more attractive, the longer you know them, because you begin to see the whole package and things that might have put you off before (big nose, freckles, annoying laugh) kinda fade or are compensated by better aspects of the personality, so in the end unless you are locked into a serious relationship i think it's inevitable that guys become attracted to friends that are girls

Lainey · 04-05-2004 04:30PM

Originally posted by savemejebus
i think that women become more attractive, the longer you know them, because you begin to see the whole package and things that might have put you off before (big nose, freckles, annoying laugh) kinda fade or are compensated by better aspects of the personality, so in the end unless you are locked into a serious relationship i think it's inevitable that guys become attracted to friends that are girls

i think your spot on there.. same other way around..

Explosive_Cornflake · 04-05-2004 04:46PM

Originally posted by tibor
See: The Ladder Theory .

Great link. Really good reading.

Sleepy · 04-05-2004 05:38PM

Yes, guys and girls can be friends. I've plenty of female friends I wouldn't be particularly interested in sleeping with. That said, most female friends I'd be closest too, I would go to bed with if there were no repurcussions. That said, most female friends I'd be closest to are exes. That said. I'm confused now!

When you become extremely good friends with a member of the opposite sex, boundaries can begin to blur if you find each other remotely sexualy attractive. As long as no one gets hurt, where's the harm?

Can men and women be just friends?

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