the bible = the tree of the knowledge of good and evil () Jesus = the tree of life

Michael111 · 22-03-2004 09:17PM #1

The bible

It is a book containing the knowledge of good and evil.

The forbidden fruit was not an apple. The fruit of a tree is also paper. And upon the pages of the bible is the knowledge of good and evil. The bible is poisoned with the knowledge of evil.

Ritualistic animal sacrifices, ceremonies incorporating the blood of dead animals, superstitious numbers, curses, evil spirits, dark prophecies... all in the bible.

Plotting, conspiracy, mass-murder, betrayal, genocide, slavery, suffering, wars... all in the bible.

A book is not 'Holy' if it contains the knowledge of evil, Satan, the devil, demons...

It is darkness. It is contaminated. It is unclean. It is poison.

Religion is the church of the poison mind. Minds poisoned by the knowledge of evil. People are deceived by religion.

The kingdom of God is within us all. Not within the pages of a book containing the knowledge of evil. I have recently shut it for good. I will not touch, nor taste of it again.

Because of Jesus Christ, I'm back in the land of the living. I've torn off my fig-leaf, and am returning to Eden. I am who God made me to be. The shame, guilt, and confusion is past-tense.

Thank You Jesus.

The Tree of Life = Jesus Christ

Eat freely from this tree and be saved.

"Imagine" - John Lennon

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

Jesus is the answer!

Michael111

Gordon · 22-03-2004 09:21PM

There's a funny story in the bible about some guy being told to retrieve a hundred foreskins and only then could he date the king's daughter.

Originally posted by Michael111

I will not touch, nor taste of it [the bible] again.

Did you tend to lick your bible?

flogen · 22-03-2004 09:23PM

I've torn off my fig-leaf, and am returning to Eden

cover up ya damn nudie...... this is a family place

Flogen

Kold · 22-03-2004 09:37PM

The Bible - An Erotic Novel

Commissar · 22-03-2004 09:41PM

Originally posted by Michael111

Thank You Jesus.

No prob, buddy. I.m just glad to help;)

Memnoch · 22-03-2004 10:47PM

I've found heaven....

and its between my girlfriend's breasts

Seamie · 22-03-2004 10:49PM

Originally posted by Michael111

Ritualistic animal sacrifices, ceremonies incorporating the blood of dead animals, superstitious numbers, curses, evil spirits, dark prophecies... all in the bible.

Plotting, conspiracy, mass-murder, betrayal, genocide, slavery, suffering, wars... all in the bible.

Sounds to me like it should be made into a movie. Possibly with Arnie, or Steve Guttenberg...

smemon · 22-03-2004 11:04PM

has anyone actually ever read the entire bible?!

imagine typing all of that out, which someone must have done at some stage in order for it to be printed. it's send ya mad.

all the metaphors and stories that could mean absolutely anything.

ive always wondered if anyone is actually any wiser after reading the bible. what do people learn from it?

mr_angry · 22-03-2004 11:10PM

See no evil, hear no evil? Thats a saying for a reason, you know.

TheSonOfBattles · 22-03-2004 11:19PM

Originally posted by smemon
what do people learn from it?

Prolly that God was/is senile when he wrote it. He invented language, yet he can't get his point across without killing 1 forest for each book for each person who's going to read his idea's.

Capt'n Midnight · 23-03-2004 12:02AM

Supprised that the Bible wasn't banned, there is a Lot of sex & violence.
eg: After his wife had been turned to salt, Lot's daughters got him father drunk cos they reckoned that the three of them were the last ones alive on the face of the earth. And speaking of Sodomon and Gomoro (SP) wasn't that the root of the word sodomy ?

So MickyPhalicSymbols has just wipped off his fig leaf and wants to eat from the tree of life.. :eek:

Sorry bud but moronic over-generalisations do not make for a valid argument. (Jesus / God / Devil / Heaven / Hell - it's a package deal, you can't pick and choose, because without the others there is no context.)

Hey lets burn the history books too - because they say bad things happen to good people.

Anyway people keep coming up with new translations of phrases from the bible so the meaning can change. Especially if you don't go for the most extreme meaning of a word but for the most normal one then many stories and characters actually seem plausible.

Badly Drunk Boy · 23-03-2004 12:04AM

Check this out if you're into seeing an illustrated version of the Bible.

http://www.thebricktestament.com/

Be warned though!!! I shows a lot of the evil debauchery and violence that Michael111 mentioned above.

Puck · 23-03-2004 12:46AM

Originally posted by Michael111

Jesus is the answer!

Michael111

Pfft! Everyone know it's 42.

Capt'n Midnight · 23-03-2004 01:22AM

ROFL
Gn 19:30-36
http://www.thebricktestament.com/genesis/the_seduction_of_lot/gn19_31-32.html

BTW:
42 Base 10 = 110 Base 6
42 Base 27 = 110 Base 10

So who is the one missing from your life ?

nadir · 23-03-2004 02:40AM

wtf

AL][EN · 23-03-2004 04:24AM

OMFG!!! the Jehovah witnesses have found there way onto boards!! sweet mother of god is no place safe anymore???

:dunno: :eek: :eek:

maybe this one should be moved over to the christiainty form? doubt after hours is the place for this.

bizmark · 23-03-2004 04:35AM

Originally posted by nadir
wtf

I second that

Rabies · 23-03-2004 09:18AM

I will not touch, nor taste of it again.

I find it tastes better when I use just a little bit of salt when tasting the Old Testament and pepper when I take a nibble out of Genesis. You should try it.
Can not wait until I try a Gospel or two with some of the new dips that ya can get with Pringles.

BuffyBot · 23-03-2004 09:21AM

Ritualistic animal sacrifices, ceremonies incorporating the blood of dead animals, superstitious numbers, curses, evil spirits, dark prophecies... all in the bible.

...and the new Stephen King novel, out now! Available at your local Easons for just €9.99!

Wolfie · 23-03-2004 09:36AM

Originally posted by TheSonOfBattles
Prolly that God was/is senile when he wrote it. He invented language, yet he can't get his point across without killing 1 forest for each book for each person who's going to read his idea's.

Hmm.. so God, the alleged supreme being who created the universe as we know it, actually took the time to put pen to paper and write the bible himself. Amazing the things you learn here! He also invented language, and presumably taught all of the different peoples of earth how to speak and write in the various languages that were developed... And originally the bible pages were clay tablets.. and I believe that man came up with the idea of paper, and thus cutting down trees to make the said paper.... And _you_ question the working of God's mind???

TheSonOfBattles · 23-03-2004 10:27AM

Originally posted by Wolfie
Hmm.. so God, the alleged supreme being who created the universe as we know it, actually took the time to put pen to paper and write the bible himself. Amazing the things you learn here! He also invented language, and presumably taught all of the different peoples of earth how to speak and write in the various languages that were developed... And originally the bible pages were clay tablets.. and I believe that man came up with the idea of paper, and thus cutting down trees to make the said paper.... And _you_ question the working of God's mind???

God created man, and is Divine, therefor everything we do is just part of his plan as I understand christianity. Therefor anything we create, was just part of God's plan. So yes, he invented language, papyrus, clay and wrote the bible. God is obviously senile if he creates something that muddled and rambling tbh.

][cEMAN** · 23-03-2004 11:26AM

Can I remind you all of "FREE WILL"

So WILL you all please stop talking such nonsense so FREELY

BTW for all you bible bashers - the old testament was about "Kill for me - wage the holy wars" and the new testament is "Turn the other cheek" and "Love they neighbour". So if these books are true representation of god's will and god is infalable, why did he suddenly change his mind at half time?

As fictional as it sounds I personally like the idea of the ending of Stigmata.

Wolfie · 23-03-2004 02:32PM

Originally posted by TheSonOfBattles
God created man, and is Divine, therefor everything we do is just part of his plan as I understand christianity. Therefor anything we create, was just part of God's plan. So yes, he invented language, papyrus, clay and wrote the bible. God is obviously senile if he creates something that muddled and rambling tbh.

To answer your conundrum, read Icemans post. Free will my man. God created the universe. God lets us do as we please on the universe. We mess it up. Otherwise you are saying that God invented paedophilia, murder and all the other fun human stuff. I dont know if God is out there or not, I sure hope so, otherwise we are insignificant blobs 'existing' in a fluke universe, born from chaos. That seems a bit pointless really... and would prove to be an immense disappointment after I die!

TheSonOfBattles · 23-03-2004 02:37PM

Out of interest, when did I say I believe all the bull**** written in the bible? 'Cause I don't, i'm not part of any major religion, or minor one for that matter. Nor am I athiest. I'm my own beliefs, and everyone else can keep theres, I just reckon the bible is a load of crap, and I was writing what I wrote to illustrate that.

Dustaz · 23-03-2004 02:43PM

Originally posted by Wolfie
I dont know if God is out there or not, I sure hope so, otherwise we are insignificant blobs 'existing' in a fluke universe, born from chaos.

Ive never understood why the holy joes seem to have such a problem with this. We are just sacks of mostly water in a fluke universe. God didnt 'invent' us. We evolved.

Can we ban the original guy for spamming his wares please?

23-03-2004 03:04PM

If God has been around forever, what did he do before he created earth?

Rabies · 23-03-2004 04:26PM

Originally posted by Wolfie
otherwise we are insignificant blobs 'existing' in a fluke universe, born from chaos.

Well that is what i think :dunno:

If God has been around forever, what did he do before he created earth?

Spent weekends on Mars and summers in the Sun.....
:rolleyes:

Dont Ban Me · 23-03-2004 04:43PM

Originally posted by smemon
imagine typing all of that out, which someone must have done at some stage in order for it to be printed. it's send ya mad.

I dont think any one person has wrote / typed it all out! There is kinda to much there, well except maybe Guttenburg he might have done it all when he first printed it??

And everyone knows God was on holidays before he created earth!! :rolleyes:

smemon · 23-03-2004 04:44PM

if god exists, who created god???

you cant just create yourself out of nothing! and who created the thing that created god and so on......

it just doesnt make sense, the whole bible is like all the stories ever thought of put into one big boring book with font size 6 writing, no pictures and millions of pages.

why couldnt it be wrote in plain english, and why did jesus and all holy dudes answer questions with questions when a simple yes or no would do??

Rabies · 23-03-2004 04:48PM

Originally posted by smemon
if god exists, who created god???

Sit down for a sec.. this might come as a bit of a shock to you, but.... When a man loves a woman, things happen .... .... 9 monthys later you have God...

or

maybe there is no god and everything was created by chance :eek:

Dont Ban Me · 23-03-2004 05:13PM

Or maybe god was a mad scientist working in a lab and by some fluke he spilt chemicals and they mixed and taa daa!! We were created, then he died and millions of ions later we formed as mold on his desk! And too this day we are still mold on the desk of a dead old scientist and no one knows we exist at all!!!

Magic!!

the bible = the tree of the knowledge of good and evil () Jesus = the tree of life

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