Buying wife out of house

Carter12 · 17-04-2026 08:13AM #1

Hello, im not sure where to post this but hoping you can help.

Myself and hubby have been together 30 years, married for 10. Last week he told me he doesn't love me anymore. I'm devo. He thinks we can carry on living together but separately in the same house. The children have all moved out.

However, that would not be possible for me. I'm not making any rash decisions and giving at least 6 months before I do.

I'm 63, on illness benefit after working all my life. Thats now my only income so won't get a mortgage.

There's 100k left on mortgage.

Can anyone tell me what the process is for him to buy me out of house?

Hopefully, I will have enough to buy something smaller for myself.

Thank you in advance.

Wanderer78 · 05-05-2026 09:01AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124444709#Comment_124444709

consider a therapist as well, the legal route can be very black and white, while ignoring the emotional issues created, best of luck with things

daithi7 · 17-04-2026 08:58AM

ah jeez Carter,

so sorry to here your marriage is coming to an end. It's a very emotional & challenging time even before the additional stress of financial headaches, not to mention figuring out living arrangements & finances going forwards, etc,

Firstly, I think you're so right not to try to live under one roof going forwards if possible. I'm baffled by people who try to do this tbh, it must be so stressful and a total nightmare on eggshells day to day for those who opt to try to live with their ex like that.

I haven't much experience of the process tbh, but assumedly if you're agreeing to him buying you out of your existing house & home, you employ a neutral estate agent to give an independent valuation , and start your negotiations from there, allowing for things like decor, contents, moving costs, etc, etc sometimes couples get 2 valuations and agree on an average valuation between the two independent valuations, as there can be variations from estate agent to estate agent that can sometimes be considerable.

One thing I would suggest though is that you consider the rent a room allowance for having a lodger in any new house or apartment you may purchase or rent. This can yield a steady passive rent of up to €14 k per annum tax free (plus a contribution to bills in cash, though officially I think you're supposed to allow for this but I don't think anyone adheres to that stupid stipulation ). In addition to helping part pay for your new abode, having the right housemate living with you relieves things like social isolation & loneliness which can be big lifestyle factors for the first few years after you've just broken up from a long term relationship like a marriage.

Good luck OP, this too shall pass….

Jim_Hodge · 17-04-2026 09:33AM

Go and see a solicitor. What does the husband want? Divorce, legal separation???

Don't agree anything on the house, or move out, until your legal status is sorted.

FazyLucker · 17-04-2026 09:37AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124401545#Comment_124401545

+1, go see a good family law solicitor who will advise. It might cost a few quid for a meeting but it would probably be the best few hundred quid you could spend.

(Sorry to hear about your situation OP, its got to be tough).

endofrainbow · 17-04-2026 05:37PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124401469#Comment_124401469

Sorry why is it a stupid stipulation? They're clearing 14k tax free.

road_high · 17-04-2026 05:43PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124402965#Comment_124402965

because bills are bills- you don’t make a profit from them

road_high · 17-04-2026 06:07PM

I’m Not sure rent a room income is counted towards mortgage approval applications?

road_high · 19-04-2026 05:21PM

I wonder would the Credit union be an option for a loan/mortgage to finish out the remaining loan? At 63 you don’t have many years left to get a mortgage (stating the obvious I know) I think most only go up to 66 or so

Jim_Hodge · 19-04-2026 05:53PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124407564#Comment_124407564

I wouldn't be even thinking about clearing a mortgage before seeing what legal settlement willbewill be reached

Carter12 · 24-04-2026 08:24AM

Thank you for all the replies. Hubby hasn't mentioned any separation, he seems to think we can carry on living in the house but separately. I won't be able to do that. I'm not making any decisions for at least 6 months, give myself time to process it all. I'll seek legal advice as well.

Thank you

Lenar3556 · 25-04-2026 11:39AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124417718#Comment_124417718

As you have recognised, the situation is very fresh and it’s probably premature to be considering a formal breakup - especially if this is not something you actually want.

The history of the past 30 years would be relevant in understanding the background to the current situation and how materially significantly his discussion with you last week actually was.

Carter12 · 05-05-2026 07:51AM

Hi, just an update. I have found out he is seeing someone else.

I will be taking him to the cleaners.

Thank you for the advice, I'll be contacting solicitor today.

Carter12 · 17-06-2026 04:33PM

So, 2 months on and things have become horrendous.

Ive had to get a protection order against him. He has cleaned out the joint account, taken the car keys from me. Blocked me on WhatsApp and Insta. He's having the affair and im being like ****. Ive lost over 1 stone I weight and the anxiety it overwhelming. Ive contacted mediation services and have applied for legal aid. It will take the guts of a year to be sorted. Its killing me. Were still living in the same house :(

endofrainbow · 17-06-2026 06:55PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124557982#Comment_124557982

How are you living in the same house if you've a protection order against him ??

Carter12 · 17-06-2026 07:23PM

Because it doesn't stop him from living in the house. I tried for barring order but it was refused

Buying wife out of house

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