Ex husband struggling with cost of living

acbar · 28-03-2026 01:05PM #1

where can my partner,( he is divorced ) get some free advice or help financially. On approx €42K He pays maintenance and is renting (hap) His ex wife has a better salary 70k? And very wealthy parents who have a very high standard of living and so the 3 teen children are used to getting everything and there’s no exceptions. 2 sets of braces and 2 adhd assessments he has been cleaned out of all his savings and still the demands come. He agreed he would pay extra where he can but he just can’t keep paying out, they’re are demands for summer camps, Gaeltacht, school trips abroad and he wants to pay toward but just cannot, he has been going without food some days just to survive and he cannot afford to get diesel and come to visit me. (I have a family too)

He’s a great dad and wants to give them the best life but he is not able to live up to those demands.

(He can’t move in with me(yet) as we both have children, in different counties)

Can anyone offer advice?

Dial Hard · 28-03-2026 01:32PM

He can (and should, by the sounds of things) apply to the court for a maintenance adjustment order.

CatLick · 28-03-2026 06:59PM

Agree with Dial Hard. He should document everything he spends first. Unfortunately 70k is not a high earner these days and her parents support won't be considered. However she will have to provide bank details so it might come out then. He could just say no and see do her parents pay. Which isn't fair on them but if he can't pay than what's to be done.

Dumb Juan · 30-03-2026 12:13PM

On the money side, he should talk to MABS and see if he can get financial advice.

On the divorce side either talk to his ex or do as Dial Hard advise & look for an adjustment order.

acbar · 30-03-2026 04:47PM

Thank you all for your advice

Hotblack Desiato · 30-03-2026 09:26PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124347702#Comment_124347702

If they are wealthy and want their grandkids to live accordingly then I don't think it's at all unfair for them to fund it!

He should go back to the court. I doubt there's much point in talking to the ex if she is willing to make unreasonable demands knowing he is not in a great position financially. He's on HAP and skipping meals, that's not reasonable or sustainable.

Ex husband struggling with cost of living

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