Depression - My final year project

Hello (:

My name is Julia, I am 22 years old and I am currently a student studying Journalism at DCU. I am in my final year, and I am writing to see if anyone would be able to help me.

I have never used forums such as these, but I am looking everywhere for people that could help make this happen as I am really passionate about this and want it to work.

I want to make an audio documentary on depression. The choice for this topic comes from my own diagnosis with depression. As someone who has been dealing with it for over six years now, I sometimes struggle to find media in the news that represents Depression on a more intimate and personal level. 

I want this piece to show a side of depression that many people who may have no experience with it may not even consider. Day-to-Day struggles that you may experience that to someone else may not even be something that would cross their mind, I want people to hear multiple individual stories, get a look into depression that is not very common. I would also want to have professionals in my piece that could give insight into why people with depression may think or act the way they do.

The piece would be 30 minutes long. I would discuss my reasoning for choosing the topic (my own struggle), but I want people to hear the voices of others; I would just be the opening to this piece. 

I would like to simply sit down with different people who experienced or are experiencing depression in their life and have an open conversation with eachother.

I understand this is a sensitive topic and may not be feasible. I am more than happy not to publish this piece anywhere. I know that if I created this project, I could also, in the process, learn more about myself and others who have may have similar experiences to me.

If anyone would be interested feel free to email me at juliasz17@Gmail.com

I am also pasting in a piece I had written on Schizophrenia, to show the kind of work I have been making the last three years of my studies. You do not have to read it but it is there for those that may be interested and curious about previous work I have done on mental health.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

My piece:

The Many Faces of Schizophrenia

For Joanna, schizophrenia is more than just a mental illness; it’s an intricate part of her existence that weaves together threads of fear, happiness, and unexpected romance.

Although empty in her apartment compared to some homes, she has small parts of her around. Her notebooks and planners were stacked on her glass coffee table, with her Monday to Sunday pills on top; on her fridge was a drawing of an angel from one of her daughters. “My younger daughter drew it for me,” she says as she places the hot lemon tea she had offered to make.

She sat in front of me, her hair tied up in a messy bun, and she had a zip-up jumper on, with a rock band print on the front and back with a pair of pyjama pants on. I asked her whether she listened to rock, and after a second realising I asked about the jumper, she laughed “Oh, no, I received this from a friend second-hand, he always gives me his old clothes.”

Globally, schizophrenia touches the lives of one in every three hundred people, yet it remains shrouded in misunderstanding. Joanna’s journey with this complex condition began at the age of thirty-one. She recalls, “I had depression... I was at a party and tried a line, and six months later, I started using amphetamines. That’s when the voices began.” Voices are not a unique trait to schizophrenia, research has shown that some people with no history of mental illness may hearvoices that are often friendly. However, for people with mental illness, the most common voicesare usually mean, and degrading and may abuse them. For Joanna that is also the case, she like many others with the illness has experienced an ongoing battle of emotions with the voices she hears. “At first they were very intense, it was horrible. I had memory loss, I had depressive episodes, and I had voices in my head. During the first five years, well it was a nightmare.” Not too long after the voices had appeared she had lost her job, she explained that it was due to hearing opinions everywhere, no matter where she went. It eventually caused her to quit, she explained “I thought everyone was talking about me, judging me, I thought they know everything about me, you know?” She still had custody of her daughters, but over time her illness started affecting her role as a mother. “I used to ask my older daughter to go shop because I was too scared to leave the house. I was scared to leave because I heard people's opinions everywhere, on the street, in shops, everywhere.”

Schizophrenia can involve relapses where recurring symptoms may occur, such as hearing fewer voices. At age forty, she experienced a relapse that brought her symptoms back, and she has been dealing with them ever since. Since her relapse she has moved into an apartment alone, currently, she is on disability, attending meetings throughout the week. Although her life is quieter, her voices still play a huge role in her life. “Not too long ago I isolated myself for three weeks, I sat at home and did not leave the house. I didn't go to any of my group meetings. They were calling me from the groups, so I finally went.” The voices at times can also cause her a lot of anxiety, which has been one of the reasons she has struggled to leave the house at times. “They scare me, the voices, they create fears in me. I have always been easily scared since I was a kid, but it has been getting worse.” It is not uncommon for individuals with schizophrenia to hear voices that play a significant role in their lives. Some people even receive instructions from these voices, a phenomenon known as “command hallucinations.” For Joanna, this type of interaction is a major aspect of how her voices communicate with her. “They tell me to stop drinking caffeine. Even today I heard it, I was sitting drinking coffee, waiting for you, and he told me I either drop the caffeine completely, change, and quit smoking or something bad will happen.”

Joanna says that at times the voices are not so mean, especially Wacek, a male voice she hears the most. “Right now, for the last four years, I have relapsed, now I have only one voice, and he says his name is Wacek. He reminisces of an old romance from years ago, a young love back in my younger years, his name was Vadim. He was also married,” she laughed. She was a lot more relaxed when explaining the voices positive sides, as if it has been helping her cope with the hard times she faces with her illness. At times, she explained, they help her with her day to day planning and errands she does not always want to leave the house for, “the voices do help sometimes, with grocery shopping even. Yesterday Wacek gave me the idea to buy a ready-made dinner for today. They are helpful, they plan my day for me, sometimes they'll give out to get me to leave the house,” she explained. After so many years of experiencing the many faces of schizophrenia Joanna still to this day struggles with the different aspects of the illness. Which she says has been a challenge “I have given up to a point where the voices control my behaviour. They decide what I do, but I also don't want to do anything. I am kind of lifeless in a way, like I said before, just depressed.”

Schizophrenia is an illness that to this day is not understood fully, for many it is a day to day battle of the mind and body. In Joanna’s case she has faced not only sad and at times difficult situations, but it has also become a large part of her life that she struggles to control at times.