Issues with work colleague

HildaOgdenx · 19-11-2025 12:52PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124000512#Comment_124000512

In reality, you"re not battling against her - you',re battling against management, which is a battle you cant win.

I think this sums it up pretty well, OP. Unfortunately there are quite a few people in management positions in all sorts of companies who are just simply not good managers.

From their point of view now, it's all grand. You're picking up the extra work that's not being done by your colleague. Anything you try to raise, they are just pushing aside and ignoring.

I'd be looking to move on, tbh. Even take a sideways move, if that's possible. Leave them with her and let her be their problem. Sorry, I know it's a very unfair situation.

Ash.J.Williams · 19-11-2025 12:57PM

Women require an extra degree or two according to a building service engineer i was talking to

mrslancaster · 19-11-2025 01:24PM

Sounds like a pretty stressful situation to be in OP. If you’ve been with the company for 20 years with no issues, did anything else change apart from the new colleague two years ago?

For instance, how long has your team leader been in their post? Any issues before the new person started? If another team member also left recently, that sounds like the team leader is not managing this problem very well.

You need to do your own assigned work and do not keep covering for the new person. If they are out sick it’s not your responsibility to fix it by picking up the slack.

Just as a matter of interest, what size is the company/ number of employees? Do they have a dedicated HR person or department?

zizi03 · 19-11-2025 02:00PM

I’ve worked with the current team leader the last 20 years too, she’s in the company thr same length of time as me. We have never ever had an issues previously. As a person she is a soft non confrontational woman so she was never going to be able for this head strong woman. Instead of tackling her she keeps her happy, she has said on occasion she feel sorry for her as she lives on her own, no kids etc. I have really started to feel resentment towards my team leader as I feel she has this woman’s back over mine. She covers for her, does her goals with her and then claims she did them all alone. Genuinely that part of it I could get over but the dynamic now is all wrong between the 3 of us and I’m seen as just as much as issue as she is.
I am so afraid the bullying card is going to be pulled as there is nothing she won’t do.

It’s a small office with few people so there is nothing where to really switch to.

pjdarcy · 19-11-2025 02:13PM

Would it be possible for you to completely disengage from her OP? Don't speak to her at all and just do your job. Don't take on, or volunteer for, any extra work. If she's unable to complete a task on her own and you're asked to step in to help, then just say you're too busy. Maybe ask to work from home on whatever days she is scheduled to be in the office.

zizi03 · 19-11-2025 04:44PM

I got some feedback from another manager on the general consensus.
He said that my manager was peeved I passed on the comment on the group chat. Could I not have just ‘left it’ what was said wasn’t even that bad. I said in isolation it could have been ignored but with everything else it was the last straw.

He also said I need to rise above it and not go down to her level that they all know what she’s like but can’t do anything as she will claim she’s ganged up on and call in HR.

I feel caught in every way. I raise I’m the bad one I keep quiet she carries on.

OscarMIlde · 19-11-2025 04:56PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124001329#Comment_124001329

Try and rise above it, but if not turn it back on her. Document if she is not assisting with tasks. If you are being given too much to do then document that. Not in relation to her, but in relation to you. E.g I can't do X, Y and Z on my own, what do I drop? Don't misuse it, but if you genuinely have too much work given to you as she does nothing flag that you can't do it all. If it piles up that is your managers fault for not reassigning work.

Also if she pulls any more crap like that message document it. Bring a grievance with HR if it continues. She's getting away with it as she will complain, so do that too, but only with clear cut incidences and do your utmost not to get petty and stick to the facts that she is causing you anxiety.

road_high · 19-11-2025 06:19PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124001329#Comment_124001329

all this “he she said” nonsense- if the manager wants to say something to you then say it directly to you not via their conduit.

Honestly the manager is a bit of an idiot and your one is exploiting that weakness to the max here. First thing you need to do straight off is re organise how the work is being allocated (this is being pro active and work focused and not getting involved in the exhausting and futile emotional stuff) - demand a Monday morning meeting so you can discuss openly the weeks tasks and projects. In a properly functioning and well managed team you’d all be in the same meeting but ultimately that’s up to the manager to manage

davepatr07 · 19-11-2025 09:41PM

Having read the replies to your post OP I would take advice on what is being said here…

You have been in that company for 20 years and this is the response you get from management just to please some self-entitled brat who thinks she can get away with this…

It’s clear she has connections to management or someone higher up there if she is being looked on favourably… as someone has already mentioned, maybe she is sleeping with a manager or related to one, who knows but something is not right in this situation…

If Management are not listening to you or other people in your area over her behaviour it is time you either change teams/department or move on from this job…. It’s not a healthy environment, it’s toxic and life is too short to be dealing with that crap. The company needs to take accountability on how staff are treated and respected otherwise they will loose people and the place becomes a rotten hell hole to be in..

mrslancaster · 19-11-2025 10:43PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/124002087#Comment_124002087

Well she could have connections to management, or it could be something else, eg, if she belongs to any of the protected classes then poor managers might be reluctant to tackle her behaviour or attitude for fear of landing themselves in the wrc. She has already shown how she reacts to anything she doesn’t like - taking sick days, WFH etc. The OP on the other hand has worked there for 20 years with no issues, so management know her and may think she is unlikely to go down any contentious route even though they seem to be aware of the situation.

Agree with other posters that maybe OP could try the same tactics - sick days and WFH - and see what happens. Do assigned work, document any unprofessional interactions, don’t rise to the bait (easier said than done).

Issues with work colleague

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