How come I never see anyone anymore?

No, they don't come back on their own. You have to put in the effort.

I usually meet lads now on the odd Saturday afternoon for a late lunch and a feed of pints until everyone heads off around 10pm, because we have matches/swimming/scouting/pony club the following morning. And thats fair enough.

But we usually have to diary those same spontaneous pints at least 8 weeks in advance.

Social media has killed in person meet ups and chance social interactions thanks for posting Brian i ask myself similar questions

I game. I have a group of friends scattered around the UK and Ireland that I play games with. Friday nights they all try to make time. The whatsapp group is ridiculous though. Friday night comes around and it's just updates on kids and wifes. "The kids aren't asleep yet, I'll be 30 mins". "Sorry lads I have a work thing", "The little one is sick", "The missus just got out of the bath so I'll be hopping off to watch a movie"

There's so much to juggle with so many people that most Fridays out of 10 guys, there's 3-4 online. And that's to play games, from the comfort of their own home. I can't imagine how hard it is to organise pints.

Social media is one of the reasons for not just bumping into people in town any more, but it can also work both ways. I'm a bit older than you and I find myself out of that tunnel on the other side (kids grown up and left home), and thanks to social media I'm actually getting back in touch with people from past parts of my life that I probably couldn't have recontacted without SM or at least the internet.

I find that people who moved away have come back in the meantime, and now I (and they) have time to get out and about more, I can see them more too. So I would say, do make an effort to keep up with people, but also, be aware that this is a phase of your life and it does change. And, apart from the fact that it's good for you to have some social life now, there's also the advantage that the more you've managed to keep in contact now, the less "rebuilding" you'll need to do later, when you are all a lot freer with your time.

So don't despair!

I just head out on my own and whoever is out is out. There’s always someone. I’m from a small enough town though so I know most people.

Sadly it’s the way life goes as you get older and have a partner, kids, pets, bills etc. They become your main priorities. 

Whatever about the pets and bills, I think it's too easy to blame this kind of thing on "the wife and kids" … but I do understand that attitude because I kinda went through it myself. It wasn't deliberate - it's just that they, and my professional ambitions, made me forget that I had another/different life before then.

An accident of family history subsequently gave me a good smack on the head, and I realised that a couple of things I used to do were actually a really important part of my own self, and from then on, they were back on the list of "main priorities". They're both things that involve getting out and "doing stuff" rather than just nursing a pint for hours on end.

Here's the thing: neither of them required me to exclude either the missus or the children, although as time went on, it was usually one or the other. These days, the whole feckin' lot them have upped sticks and left me alone, but on account of those particular interests, I have a whole bunch of friends and acquaintances that I see on a semi-regular basis, often without any advance planning.

On any random weekend, I'm likely to end up dancing with one of the girls who went to school with my son with fifteen years ago in central France, discussing the price of buttons with a Dutch guy I met at a festival in Switzerland two years ago, or hiking in Alsace with someone I only for the first time in May.

Aside from all points above, as a single 42yo male with no kids and finding himself "restarting" life after a series of redundancies, its too expensive to meet up anymore. Between fuel (country living), cost of events, cost of staying or eating anywhere, and not being a drinker really limits the options (i actually can't stand being around drunk people anymore), its too much hassle and cost to be as social as we were 20+ years ago. I used to get drunk, fed and taxi home for less than 30 punt (while earning close to 250 between 3 jobs…), now €150 wouldn't even cover it. Not worth it anymore, hasn't been for a while. Going by reports, I should be earning €64k or something like that to be able to "live". Im on 30... c'est la vie.

I also have zero interest in kids, and I really dont want to hear other people prattle on about them. Thankfully my few close friends know this so dont. Its highly appreciated. I'll always ask are they ok, getting on alright, but conversations around kids switch my brain off. I can't comprehend the alleged joy, I only see pain. There nothing cute or funny about your kid doing something every other kid does. And invariably thats where the conversation goes for a lot of people with kids, like they need validation thay let they're doing good as a parent or something. Thats just my opinion though. Nothing more boring than someone waxing lyrical over their own kids.

But thats ok, people couldn't care less about me or my likes, I just don't pretend to care like others. Started a new job a few months back, and one of the new starters is a single mother who just won't shut the **** up about her super intelligent autistic child. We won't be close friends... and this is after me telling her I'm not one to talk with kids about. Nope, she still has to validate her existence through her kid. And every parent will talk about them. Again understandable, but not everyone cares or wants to hear it, and I appreciate those who know me well enough to not bother.