Advice, should I send my child to primary school?

There's no harm in keeping him another year. Boys mature a little slower than girls so the extra year will make school a lot easier.

Bite the bullet and send him.

If he’s developmentally ready then another year of playschool isn’t a great idea, he’ll be bored. The early days of junior infants aren’t that dissimilar to playschool anyway.

You’re also assuming that the extra year will solve the issue, but you may just be kicking the can down the road.

As another poster said …you know your child best 🙂 Consider the long game.

My 2 cents…

If developmentally, you feel he’s ‘not ready’ & you’re in a (fortunate) position to hold off on sending him to school. In that scenario I’d do just that. Here’s why…

Early years development doesnt directly match those of similar age, though tends to level out over time…generally entering teens. If it really seems he’s not ready yet, hold off if you see potential value in it.

You’re the child’s primary educator. In a class of say 25+ a child's going to get less attention. Parents are the optimum source of support during developmental years (whether inside/outside of school). If you/family have the time to spend with your child during formative years, it’s well invested and pays off in future years. Couple that with other social settings (like xtra year in pre school).

Early primary education gave more emphasis to play in the past. Less so today. Consider that there are developmental advantages to that scenario be it in a home & playschool setting. The more opportunity for play in the early years the better. Advs to having an age advantage amongst peers in school:

1. Better Focus and Learning: Older kids brans have matured more, - helps them concentrate, understand instructions, and learn new skills more easily.

2. More Confidence: Being slightly ahead can make a child feel more capable- boosts confidence and makes school a more positive experience.

3. Stronger Social Skills: They may be more emotionally ready for school life—like sharing, cooperating, and handling frustration—making friendships and classroom behaviour easier.

4. Physical Readiness: Older children often have better coordination for handwriting, sports, and other physical activities.

5. More Opportunities: Teachers may see them “advanced” and offer extra support or enrichment, which builds even more confidence and skills over time. A subconscious bias plays its part here.

Bottom line:

Being older in the class can give kids a helpful boost early on—especially in confidence, attention, and learning. Over time, that early lead can grow into real long-term advantages.

Some of these ideas I read in a book by Malcolm Gladwell which was an eye opener for me at the time.

is there a possibility of autism here?

have you talked to the school? See if they have an idea of what numbers are like and ages in the group.
in my sons class there was an age span of 18 months. 24 kids and only 3 of them were at the lower end of the age span. 1 of the younger ones really struggled and left after second class to repeat the year in another school.

And also check that they can still have a place for him next year.

people always say you might regret sending them too young but you wont regret keeping them back year, with that said he is probably at the age where he should be starting, given they all do transition year nowadays he would be 19 starting university, if you keep him a year he would be 20 which seems old to me.

5 going on 6 is not too old. In my opinion its rather better when it comes to entering secondary and doing the Leaving Cert, because your young fella will still only be 12 and 18 respectively.

And that bit of maturity makes a huge difference, especially when it comes to boys, at all ages of development.

For your particular situation, I have sympathy. I don't think the crèche should be doing really anything at all about big school, because it makes it into too much of a 'thing'.

In my opinion, the worst thing you can do to a small person, is to build something up for months and weeks on end. Anything, whether its holidays, or Christmas, or a hospital visit, or a change of school.

Kids are very resilient, but they do ruminate, without the emotional maturity perhaps to process something completely, and that generates anxiety, stress, anger, sometimes disbelief with being left waiting. And a week to you feels like 3 months to them.

My approach was always to treat every big change somewhat like a bereavement with them. Not in a literal sense of a shocking and sad event, but in something thats happening, its happening quickly, it has come somewhat out of the blue, but we are going to deal with it and deal with it together and its not a big deal.

It is in those sort of adjustments that kids will surprise you. They can actually deal with change and new realities better than adults, in many ways, so long as their lodestars remain in place; their safe home, their love from you, their activities that they enjoy, their pets, visits to Granny and Grandad etc.

What you need to decide, is if your fella will be best served doing another year in pre-school to mature, while all his pal's move on to a different place without him, or whether you can successfully spend the summer gently depowering the daunting idea of 'big school' and getting together for shopping trips with his pals, maybe even classroom visits and teacher meets together, as matter-of-factly as possible, to emphasise that this will be a fun adventure, not an intolerable burden, or some sort of punishment.

So what it comes down to for you is, will the years maturity make enough of a difference to counteract the loss of classroom pals, or might you be back here in 12 months time anyway, with just the same sort of anxieties arising, but having no choice but to put him into infants in the September.

Hope it all goes ok. He's tougher than you think!

I don't think it's any bad thing starting college older. The older the better imo.

I’m in a similar position OP. My son is 5 in October and due to start school. He’s very intelligent but suffers quite a bit with anxiety, confidence, big emotions etc. I feel sorry for kids at this age that grew up in lockdowns.

I’m currently sending him to a play therapist to try help him work through some issues so hopefully he’ll be feeling the benefits of that come September.

But I will personally power through and send him in September. My reasons are mainly that there might never be a right time anyways. He could still be anxious next year. And he’d likely have outgrown most of the pre schoolers so staying back wouldn’t benefit him in that regard.