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Inconsiderate neighbour - looking for advice.

  • 12-02-2025 03:34PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44


    Recently bought a new-build terrace house in Dublin. Imagine the sacrifices that required!

    Let's say we are in house no. 7 on a street of terraced houses. I am in my late 40s, female, sole carer to elderly parents in their mid 80s. I am also the sole breadwinner in the family and work full time.

    In house no. 5 is a young family - male & female in mid 20s and two young children.

    Noise - right from the time we moved in, there has been loud music from the neighbour. Heavy string music, bass & drums - all causing heavy vibrations going through the party wall into our house. We suffered in silence for a while but earlier this year (January 2025) I decided to raise the issue with the female neighbour only because I had an open line of communication with her via Facebook Messenger.

    She actually conceded to me that the male in the house 'likes his music' and she is having to constantly tell him to 'lower it'. Her justification is he likes to listen to music while showering. This 'music-for-showering' can be heard in every room in our house on both the floors - I am not exaggerating.

    This is not the only times when the noise nuisance happens either. There is the drums and bass happening during the weekends too. The vibrations can be felt through the party wall in the bedrooms on the first floor. We are unable to have a lie-in on weekend mornings or rest in the afternoons, if feeling unwell from the various infections that are going around in the winter.

    The noise nuisance did not stop despite the request on Facebook Messenger. I was at my wit's end and put up a post in the Facebook discussion page of the housing estate about neighbours' noise nuisance. It was a general post purely to see who else in the estate had the same issue; there was no mention of our address or any indication of the identity of the neighbour. But this female decided to post replies on this open discussion forum, under her own name, that was visible to all 650 members of the Facebook group. It escalated and she was quite unpleasant to me on the forum. I responded as politely as I could.

    Mind you, this is all in writing on Facebook without even realizing that she was incriminating herself - the female was all about justifying the male's behaviour and took the tone of 'like it or lump it - we will keep carrying on as we please'. There was also the threat of playing loud music at unsociable hours. As you can imagine on such social media 'discussions', someone totally unrelated joined in the neighbour's favour and suggested that I move house. As if it is that easy!

    I have tried recording the noise on my android phone but it does not turn out very well. The thumping from the bass and drums is not really recordable but is 'feelable' and so very annoying.

    What should I do about the noise nuisance that keeps continuing to this day?

    Please don't say use ear plugs - no one can live with ear plugs all the time. Also, regular use of ear plugs cause ear infections.

    What's worse - they don't even realize that the loud noises they are subjecting their young children to is adversely affecting their brain development.

    Parking - Houses no. 3, 5 and 7 in a terrace have 5 no. parking bays right in front of our houses. The run of 5 parking bays is broken up by planting at both sides. There is no allocated parking for any house in this estate.

    This male, who usually returns from work before me and even if all the 5 parking bays are empty, will only park in the parking bay nearest to our front door! This happens even when the parking bay right in front of his door (no. 5) is free.

    Often, the male and the female and their visitors park over the lines or really close to it so the adjacent space cannot be used either.

    Previously, when these neighbours were doing up their back garden, they dumped a whole lot of gravel in the parking bay nearest our front door, even when there is a small patch of front garden to the houses. Inconvenience others but not themselves! The male told me it would be gone by the following week. The gravel ended up staying there for months!

    Having blocked the use of the parking bay nearest to my front door; the male and the female would park their respective vehicles in the next two parking bays, meaning I had to park in the fourth parking bay away from my door. Might not be a big deal for some. But was terribly inconvenient carrying heavy shopping in from the car, especially in bad weather. The 10 extra steps would cause additional pain to my parents with their arthritic joints. After a point, I started parking over the gravel. Then, thankfully, another neighbour wanted the gravel for their own garden and removed it for their use. The neighbour at no. 5 did nothing to resolve the matter for months, just dumped gravel in a public space and let it sit there.

    The female in the Facebook discussion actually referred to themselves as nice neighbours. Would you agree?

    My elderly mother is quite unwell. As you can imagine, this situation with the neighbours is causing me a lot of additional stress.

    What would you do in my position? Please don't tell me to move. I have lived here less than a year. I don't think I will be able to move, by choice, in the next 20 years.



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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,290 ✭✭✭MrVestek


    I mean yes it's inconsiderate of them but you can't change other people's behaviour.

    If other people and their habits annoy you that badly then may I suggest moving to a fully detached dwelling?



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 952 ✭✭✭StormForce13


    OP: "Please don't tell me to move. I have lived here less than a year. I don't think I will be able to move, by choice, in the next 20 years."

    3 minutes later, the First Responder suggests that she moves! 😲



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36,785 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    Some really inconsiderate renters moved in beside my folks years back and would have late night parties every weekend till about 3-4am with music blasting. Similarly, it would shake the whole house via the party wall.

    It went on for ages. They complained but similarly to yourself, were told basically to **** off.

    Eventually my mam had enough. Any time there was a party on next door, the following morning, she would get up really early when the partiers were sleeping off their hangovers - take her own stereo, face it at the party wall and play Autobahn by Kraftwerk on repeat as loud as the stereo would go.

    Childish, but the inconsiderate neighbours eventually got the hint when they realised my parent's stereo was a lot bigger and louder than their one.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,906 ✭✭✭✭billyhead


    Never heard of the Autobahn song but someone could make a recording of that crying baby sound that goes on and on and is used in the likes of Guantanamo bay to mess with people's minds is another option.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 193 ✭✭Mannesmann


    Are they renting or owners? If renting you could get in touch with their landlord. I know of a case where the lady complained in person to the landlord whenever the noise level was excessive. They were moved out.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,347 ✭✭✭✭AndrewJRenko


    They also used Westlife in Guantanamo Bay, but that's probably a step too far.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 297 ✭✭Soc_Alt


    is No 5 , 2 doors down frofrom You?

    Have you spoken to number 4 and 6 to get there feedback?



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,377 ✭✭✭SteM


    House numbers often go odd numbers on one side of the street, evens on the other. So 5 could be beside 7.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 239 ✭✭Van Doozy


    If you're going to use revenge music, can I suggest the video on YouTube of Africa by Toto, except this one has been edited to have the vocals one beat out of time and one semitone out of tune. He'll love it.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,852 ✭✭✭StrawbsM


    I have no solution to the noise problem but with regards to the parking could you make enquiries about having the parking spot nearest to you allocated as disabled parking only? At the same time make enquiries with you doctor or public health nurse about whether one or both of your parents qualify for a disabled badge.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,074 ✭✭✭Dr Turk Turkelton




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,388 ✭✭✭enricoh


    Some people are scumbags. Elderly parents n they take the space nearest yours.

    A lad I know used the few quid he got from parents will to move house so he would never have to look at the scum next door again. Moved in n 2 weeks later the scum got their forever home off the council across the road from him in the new estate. The joys of it!



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 353 ✭✭Senature


    I know someone who would leave the radio on full volume playing mass on Sunday mornings and head out for the day. You tube could also be handy, you get all sorts of sounds on it, including squeaking rats.

    If you can borrow a car for a few days, leave your own in the spot you want for a couple of weeks, maybe a little over the line too. They might just get used to parking elsewhere, as will their visitors.

    Block them on your phone so you don't even see any messages or calls.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,996 ✭✭✭glenfieldman


    Wow just searched for that. That would be ear torture a



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,754 ✭✭✭Oscar_Madison
    #MEGA MAKE EUROPE GREAT AGAIN


    You can take a case of noise pollution at the district court. You’ll need:

    1. Documented evidence - a diary is fine - of the nature of the noise, the noise level, duration and most importantly impact on you.

    Google noise pollution Ireland courts - it’s all there. If you can record too then do that. It sounds like there’s a relationship breakdown at this stage - don’t provoke them anymore - just keep documenting everything.
    Once you have this maybe over the next 3-4 months and obviously a summary of your experience to date, I think you just contract the court clerk to look for a court date - I don’t think you need a solicitor even but they can guide you


    Just did a Google now and here’s pretty much what I’ve just told you and more


    https://assets.gov.ie/77844/d919839d-8958-49bb-82bc-a574a58ed132.pdf



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,962 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Why? Why did someone feel the need to do that??? 🤣🤣🤣



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,949 ✭✭✭✭dulpit


    While I can understand how frustrating the noise is, and I've had issues in the past myself with noisy neighbours, there isn't a whole lot you can really do. If it's egregious you might be able to report to the gardai but I can't see much coming from it. I'd be slow to draw people onto me by trying to retaliate though.

    As for the parking, that's the joys of life I'm afraid. Unless, as suggested, you can get a disabled spot out in for your parents, I've seen that in a few places. If not, parking is public and you have no right to the spot outside your house.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    OP, sorry this is happening to you. Very disappointing considering the effort it takes to buy a home.

    It is shocking how inconsiderate and selfish some people are.

    Firstly, find out if they are renters or council and then complain to landlord or council. If not, then you will have to take a noise pollution case to court.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24 muck.savage


    When their kids are sleeping, blast the music back at them.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,643 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble


    Talk to them in person about the noise.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,731 ✭✭✭whippet


    if you are actual neighbours and have an adjoining wall - facebook messenger and anonymous passive aggressive posting on a public forum are probably the worst forms of communication you could have chosen.

    Suck it up and knock on the door in a really polite way, invite the neighbour in for a coffee and cake and talk about it like adults.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,593 ✭✭✭thereiver


    This happens in apartments too noisey neighnours above or beside you .one reason to buy a detached house if you have a choice



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 134 ✭✭27cyrix


    Don't talk to them on FB it will make things worse. Talk to them face to face.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,334 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    If there are vibrations you could set up an experiment with a sensitive item placed against the wall and video it moving to the beat rather thantrying to record the sound



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,334 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    People suggesting they move are obviously unaware it's not the 90s and we live in a terrible country with very little flexibility to move house



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,066 ✭✭✭✭GBX


    In theory perhaps, but the OPs elderly parents might not enjoy that.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,832 ✭✭✭littlevillage


    Kraftwerk - Autobahn,

    is a great song 👌

    "Fun, fun, fun on the Autobahn...."

    I'd be up outta bed and straight back on the can's and the gear.... and busting out the tunes

    images - 2025-02-13T103617.566.jpeg

    Now, on the other hand just Radio1 with the Louise Duffy show on, would break me. 🏳️

    Post edited by littlevillage on


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,592 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    You'll never get total silence in a house that shares a party wall or realistically, in any house that has close neighbours. There's always going to be sounds coming through the walls, dogs barking, cars revving, planes flying overhead etc.

    It's one of the prices of living in a terace or semi-d unfortunately. You only have three options: convince them to be quieter, invest in sound insulation or move.

    I suppose a fourth option is to just get used to it and learn to live with it.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 195 ✭✭nearby_cheetah


    OP, do you have any music or TV playing yourself while the noise is on-going? Having your own background noise going might help drown out the neighbours.



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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    You're going to be there for a long time, so I suggest you start down the path of making a formal complaint, rather than the path of tit for tat.

    I had an issue with my neighbour during the pandemic - loud music for hours - but once she realised I was prepared to go to the point of making a formal complaint, we came to an agreement that bluetooth headphones would be used.

    Follow the steps at this link, which outlines the procedure.

    What helped was when I downloaded all the info and handed it to my neighbour, told her to read it and told her to let me know if she really wanted it to come to that. She knew I would follow through.



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