My brother moving home from Australia with wife and 3 year old

that's what you'd do?

It's a guaranteed way to cause a family rift. After 20 years, you don't know each other and certainly won't be the same boys that may have once shared a bedroom. Add a sister in law and child into the mix - a recipe for disaster, not to mention your sanity.

Yeah, tell him he's a freeloading chancer who's trying to get a free house. Fck him and his wife and their child.

guard everything you have and don't dare think of anyone but yourself because everyone is out to take advantage of you.

If it was only for a few weeks then I would say yes to him. But it won't just be for a few weeks - chances of them finding a place to rent are slim. They could be looking at over a year to find a suitable place to buy and that's depending on their finances being good ( which is doubtful).

I would say no straight off. They have a very young child and your house will be taken over by them. There is a very good chance that them living with you will ruin your good relationship. They will be under your feet all the time. Unfortunately you have to be selfish

The brother has joined the thread 😂 😂 😂

I'm wondering the same. I've been trying to get a GP appointment for a year now. I keep getting told the same thing "We are not taking on new patients right now".

Eleven years ago I took out a lease on a 1.5 bedroom apartment in South County Dublin for 1200, which at the time I could just about afford. Today it is on daft at 1950.

So my first question for the brother is, does he have in the region of 4k spare for a first months rent and deposit on an apartment.

I think the brother will say "Yes, but we thought we could save money by staying with you". Which doesn't really answer the question. They will need to move out at some point. Do they have that money to hand or available? If they don't, it could take quite a while for them to save up that money.

Also, if he has been abroad for 20 years, he may not have enough PRSI stamps to get job seekers allowance. Please make him aware of that.

NB the people saying parents of a 2 year-old don't need much support. Bollox. It's different, but there 's regular childcare, emergency childcare when the kid is sick and can't go to creche or when the mother is sick (in my experience, she will get sick a lot in the first few years, there's a different set of germs on this side of the world), meeting cousins, etc.

That's presumably directed at me. I said they shouldnt need that much support and I italicised the that. Yes, of course, they will need help. I wasn't suggesting they dont, but after 20 years in Oz they should have a healthy friends network to help with that. Swapping that network to go home to Ireland, with no jobs and no home to live in, suggested to me there is something else at play here.

Just thinking about this further.

There's something that happens to time when you are a parent , but days turn to weeks to years faster than ever before . So if they say 6 months it will be a year...just because life....they may have 100% great intentions but very doubtful it will happen in whatever timeframe they think it will.

The child is 3 so potentially starting ecce in September....some parents are extremely fond of playdates ...so potentially on Saturday you'll have extra lil people in the house.

It also brings in the child is now "settled" with a peer group and I'd bet the farm the line will be " oh we want to buy in this area as "Kylie" has made such great pals and I've a mum network"...but there will never be a suitable house or they'll be out bid....there will be something. Before you know where you are the child will be in primary school.

Then as another poster has said and I've been the victim of this myself " are you up to anything...oh Kylie is asleep ...we're just going to nip for a pint you don't mind do you" or my personal favourite "we're going to get a chipper do you want anything...ok will you watch Kylie while we spin down ...an hour passes and you ring them...oh we just slipped in for a pint" so you're now feckin starving and feeling like a total mug.

Then don't underestimate the amount of laundry small people generate...so you'll probably need a rosta for the washing machine/clothes horse...that will get old very quickly.

My advice let them move in with granny...offer the box room /attic for storage to save them paying storage and cluttering granny's house. If you have the funds maybe offer a month or two rent in cash...just to get them on their feet.

Then close the door, make a coffee and enjoy the quiet of your home!!!

Personally, I wouldn't enjoy this at all. Obviously, if they were homeless, I wouldn't turn my brother and his family out, but a living situation like this would drive me mental. I too live alone in a 3-bedroom house, and whilst it feels too big for me alone sometimes, having a whole family in here would very quickly make it feel very small.

That is the best advice so far.

I can't believe the amount of people who say don't let the brother move in.

He is your brother after all. I'd make sure and give him a timeline tho maybe 6 months as it will be difficult for them to find there feet. My own brother lives in australia and my father isnt well so hes been home a few times in the last year for month stays and he stays with me. He his coming back with his other half again in may.

If not 6 months even 3 months would be OK. You just can't shaft your own brother and his family.

No-one, I repeat no-one on the thread said do not accommodate the brother. What most people are saying is do not accommodate the brother, the wife and the toddler with no timeline in place.

If the plan was for the brother to come over on his own, stay for a couple of days while he scopes out places for them to rent, and secure himself a job, I dont think anyone would have a problem with that.

It's the three of them arriving on the doorstep that people are concerned about.

Most of the advice here is NOT to allow your brother, his wife and his child move into your house, a solid 90% I'd say.

If you (like me) enjoy living alone and like your privacy do not allow anyone else in the family to tell you what you should do or not do for your brother. If they were together for 20 years before they had a child and now that child is 3 they must be close to 40, certainly late 30's? Surely they don't need support with one child?

My daughter moved home from Vancouver 4 years ago with a baby and a husband. They moved in with mother-in-law for about 2 months, and those 2 months were difficult especially with an 18 month old! After that they rented a small place while they bought an old house and renovated it. They always had a plan, and husband had a good job and works remotely. 3 years later, a lovely house, 2 more babies and they are totally independent.

My point is your brother and his wife must have a plan, must have savings, must have jobs lined up , must know what they want to do with the rest of their lives. This is the worst time to be moving home with the housing market the way it is! 4 years ago was a doddle compared to now.

Also three year old kids are worse than two years olds in terms of activity and destruction, noise levels, tantrums, non stop cooking and washing. Just don't do this. There will be no peace in your life.

A few years ago we were to get a new guy on our team and he would be starting on Monday. He flew in on Friday, spent the weekend looking at properties for him, his wife and their 2 kids. Monday lunchtime, still no sign of him so I emailed HR. HR forwarded the email he had sent them. After browsing houses all weekend, he gave up and flew home again. He did the sums and the only places he could find that would be suitable for his family was far beyond his budget and he would not have enough to live on after paying rent.

I signed off on his salary so I knew how much he would be earning. No small sum considering it was security analysis for a bank. That was 4 years ago and rents have only gone up since. This is why I now live in the midlands.

OP, can you ask your brother to have a look on daft.ie before he even looks at flights. He maybe doesn't realise how expensive property has gotten here.