Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

French man accused of drugging his wife and inviting men to rape her

1192022242530

Comments

  • Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,821 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    @Babyreignbow and @Overheal is this a competition for who can post most without actually saying anything? Contribute to the discussion or don't post.

    Consider this your 0 point nudge to get back to discussing the topic. Next time will be 1 point + 1 day ban.



  • Posts: 832 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    The fact is that only 5% of adults who experience sexual violence report it, primarily due to the prevalence of rape myths and lack of confidence in the criminal justice system. The clearance and conviction rates of Sweden are disproportional representation of statistics, skewed in favour of an argument you are making to score points.

    Like, I know you haven't read more than a paragraph of a 95 page pdf you grabbed on a quick search to support your argument but regard Irish stat as obfuscation.



  • Posts: 832 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I'd suggest that a rape trial where the victim is destroyed and the rapist walks away is what really emboldens future rapists, far more than the rapes where the woman doesn't even go to the police in the first place.

    This is true, this was the point Volchista was making. I know it's difficult to actually hear the argument over the noise of man hater accusations but to get back to the actual substance of the thread.

    Exactly my point. Yet you bring up England's data like it has anything to do with this. Well done. You got there. We've established your claim that 98% of rapes go unpunished is unproven bollocks.

    The facts are that only a tiny percentage of rapes are even reported, so it wouldn't be far off the mark to say that 98% of rapes go unpunished.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,725 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    That's not any sort of gotcha, I don't claim to have read the whole 95 pages and since you haven't either that's a nice glass house, kettle. All I sought to disprove is that England's clearance rate was indicitave of everywhere, citing both examples from the EU and from the US. The fact that eg. Sweden is an outlier is exactly my point: Sweden has less issues with public confidence in criminal justice and less issues with rape myths. It isn't a "point scoring" exercise we're discussing rape not football FFS. If this is a point scoring exercise for you please leave me alone, if you're here to actually discuss the issues though in a solution-driven manner, great, let's go.

    My point being that the defeatist attitudes that oh, 98% walk away, what can you do, don't play the quote, "lottery" is proliferating myths and instilling lack of confidence in criminal justice and would only serve to ensure in the future more rapes go unpunished. I would have thought that was entirely clear. Only 5% of victims reporting crime is very clearly a problem, I don't think you'll find any disagreement except maybe from types like the OP who, speaking of prevalent myths, liken reporting it to increasing the victim's risk of suicide.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,616 ✭✭✭OscarMIlde


    Regarding the not being a creep thing. Someone on this thread mentioned bring back kink shaming and the push in the modern world to equate liberated sexual practices as progressive and sex positive and the difficulty in pushing back against this without being labelled a prude or even discriminatory if it involved a special interest group. Obviously not all people interested in kinky sex are interested in illegal or non-consensual activity, but I would bet it's higher the general population.

    Graham Dwyer was involved in the BDSM scene and former partners professed to feeling he was going to far. Anytime I've heard advocates of BDSM speak about they always emphasise how safe and consensual it is. I wonder how difficult it is to go against that consensus if you feel it will 'harm' the public perception of your sexual interest.

    There are also a lot of vile crimes were the perpetrators had a history of outré sexual behaviour. Aimee Challenor, the Scottish green party activist has a partner who openly tweeted fantasising about sex with children. Their father was later arrested for repeatedly raping and torturing a ten year old girl in a specially constructed room for that purpose. Aimee had their father working for them even after the arrest, thus not exhibiting much concern with this. Sam Brinton the employee of the US department of energy who was convicted of stealing women's luggage from airports and wearing their clothes was an outspoke advocate of BDSM and puppy play. I'm finding it hard to think of specific cases off hand but repeat serial sex offenders often have a documented history of what is regarded as low level sexual assault such as flashing.

    Even the husband involved in this case apparently once asked his wife to engage in wife swapping and she apparently didn't see this as a red flag.

    I do wonder if exposure to sadistic porn and vile online images is opening up a horrific world to people who may not engage in real life if they didn't happen to be exposed to like minded individuals and videos and images of abuse,

    “Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”


  • Advertisement
  • Posts: 832 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I don't know what to say to you, I really feel I have made myself clear and you are either refusing to acknowledge the points I am making or are unable to respond adequately, in which case I bow out.



  • Site Banned Posts: 1,745 ✭✭✭Raichų


    on your last point there’s definitely research to suggest online porn (and the way women are portrayed/treated therein) has given more young men than generations previously a warped perception of how sex and women actually work.

    It makes perfect sense also. Porn generally treats the women involved as merely an object to be used at will.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,725 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Even the husband involved in this case apparently once asked his wife to engage in wife swapping and she apparently didn't see this as a red flag.

    There's a lot in this case. Some of the reporting even mentions that, at one point, she almost stumbled on the revelation, and teased her husband about whether he was drugging her while wondering about the symptoms she was having. He gaslit the hell out of her, broke down and tears and said how can you accuse me of doing that etc.

    “I didn’t understand why I had these moments like this,” Gisèle recalled, per The Telegraph.

    She said she jokingly asked Dominique at the time whether he was drugging her, but he “broke down in tears,” the outlet stated. 

    The retired electricity worker, who accompanied his wife of almost 50 years to the doctor's appointment, reportedly told her, “You actually think I could do that?” the paper added.

    https://people.com/wife-allegedly-drugged-by-husband-raped-dozens-men-convinced-heap-ruins-court-8706774

    20 years will be too good for him. And it is maddening that one of the red flags was right there behind a thin veil of crocodile tears.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,021 ✭✭✭✭volchitsa


    But I didn't say anything about the US or Sweden. Certainly in Sweden it might be more worthwhile reporting rapes, since the law is different. But in the UK, Ireland and France, it's a lottery, and one that works against the victim. So blaming the victim as the poster did is pretty disgusting. But hey, you go on with your agenda of personal abuse of me. That really shows how much you care about rape victims.

    As for the US, I'd expect that the risk of something like what was done to Marie Adler like make any wolman hesitate before reporting a rape there.

    18-year-old Marie Adler (Kaitlyn Dever) is raped at knifepoint by a masked man who breaks into her apartment. She immediately reports the attack to local police in her Washington town, but they seize on minor inconsistencies when she's forced to tell the story repeatedly to various officers. The police ultimately accuse Marie of making up the rape, and she's so traumatized and intimidated by the process, she falsely admits to fabricating the story. Marie's life gradually falls apart over the subsequent weeks; she loses friends, her job, and her housing. To top off the nightmare, she's charged with a misdemeanor for false reporting.

    Sooo - really? You think it's reasonable to tell a woman who's been raped that if she doesn't report it, she's enabling rapists? Is that really what a mother or sister or close friend of a rape victim should do? Or should she go very, very carefully before telling her friend, daughter or sister what to do at all?

    ”I enjoy cigars, whisky and facing down totalitarians, so am I really Winston Churchill?” (JK Rowling)



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,713 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    in which case I bow out.

    I hope you don’t, because that allows for the discussion then to be dominated by a false narrative of putting the responsibility for men who commit rape, back on women and girls to prevent themselves from being raped by men, when it should be about preventing men from committing rape.

    Separately, and possibly even though they may not realise it, Raichu and volchista are actually saying the same thing in different ways (apologies but the @, never seems to work for me so I can’t refer to posters directly), but they’re both making the same point about the absolute brutality of our adversarial Courts system. Just like all the “preventative advice” (ultimately utterly useless) given to women and girls to prevent themselves from being raped by men - nothing sufficiently prepares witnesses appearing for the prosecution to give evidence at trial. They can’t be prepared for the assault on their character by the defendants legal counsel, which leads to outcomes like this, and the public backlash which ensued, which led to new rules being introduced about how cases are to be reported on:

    https://archive.ph/aVAuQ

    It’s why people before they ever are victims, are looking at the Criminal Justice system and the Courts, and developing the impression of their own volition, that victims of rape are not seeing justice done, leading to people simply having no confidence in the legal process. This misunderstanding isn’t helped by the dismal charge and conviction rates, the lenient sentencing reported in the media upon conviction, and the overall impression that the odds are simply too great to even consider pursuing a complaint against the man or men who raped them. Women and girls perceive the judicial process to be entirely detached from the reality of their participation in public life in that it’s not set up to help them, it hinders them, and so they remain silent, or bow out.

    Raichu and volchista also have a point about the various charities and organisations involved, in that the responsibility of preparing witnesses to give evidence at trial is often ill-considered, in many cases giving victims false hope of seeing justice done. There was one case in particular where the victim was so ill-prepared that she was operating under the impression that the Irish system operates in the same manner as her home country, only to find out upon the defendant being convicted of rape, that it does not. I can’t find the exact case now but the gist of it was that it was a criminal trial, as opposed to a civil case where compensation can be awarded against a defendant:

    https://archive.ph/tzxMN


    The Judge in the former case was critical of the fact that nobody had thought to explain the process to the victim in a way that she clearly understood the process, which lack of understanding led to her being unable to understand what had just occurred.



  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,021 ✭✭✭✭volchitsa


    Yes I think there are several good points there: violent porn is definitely an issue, but then violent porn is also linked to the "no shame", "sex positive" approaches that are being pushed by so-called "progressive" opinion-makers.

    There's also the mere existence of the internet (and I know we're not going to close that down!) - but it's a fact that those chatrooms allowed the men to develop their perversions and to coordinate their actions.

    But I still think that basically if there was more of a culture of shame about sexual perversions, it would be less frequent, and less frequently acted on. The problem is that paraphilias are (I'm told!) never-ending: the more someone feeds their paraphilia, the more it needs feeding. That's why the claim that access to porn leads to a lower rate of sexual offending is not borne out by the data. The more porn a man accesses, the less satisfied he is likely to be by it, and he will end up needing to go further and further in to more extreme porn, and/or acting it out IRL.

    So, it's not going to be the only solution, but I think all anonymous access to porn needs to be stopped. Urgently.

    I wonder how many men would agree to that though.

    As a subsequent step, maybe anonymous access to the internet in general needs to be limited in some way. Not perhaps posting one's real name (although I remember that that was commonplace initially) but perhaps that one's real identity needs to be available somewhere for instances where crimes are suspected.

    ”I enjoy cigars, whisky and facing down totalitarians, so am I really Winston Churchill?” (JK Rowling)



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,725 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    There is nothing in my post personally abusing you, and if you think that report the posts. If anything I said is of the standard of personal abuse to you, you would have a lot of things to explain to how you have spoken to and about me in this thread.

    You continue proliferating this argument that victims shouldn't come forward and report rapes and that's not a solution at all. You said you were looking for solutions?

    Sooo - really? You think it's reasonable to tell a woman who's been raped that if she doesn't report it, she's enabling rapists? Is that really what a mother or sister or close friend of a rape victim should do? Or shoud she go very, very carefully before telling her friend, daughter or sister what to do at all?

    If anything like that I'm saying that people who would tell victims to not report are the ones ultimately enabling rapists, encouraging non-report is encouraging the environment in which they can commit crimes again. Please don't tell victims of rape not to report it, it's sickening. It's also not a solution. Nor would it have done anything for the next woman you've just pulled up here as a new deflection from the main story of the thread, but if you want to meander a second, let's meander, this is the pulitzer prize-winning story about her case:

    https://www.propublica.org/article/false-rape-accusations-an-unbelievable-story

    It's published with The Marshall Project, a nonprofit that doesn't just throw its hands up and say ah what can we do, their mission objective is to instill the needed urgency about problems with criminal justice.

    It's interesting you bring up this woman as an example of why a woman shouldn't report, yet read her response to that attitude at the end please,

    Two and a half years after Marie was branded a liar, Lynnwood police found her, south of Seattle, and told her the news: Her rapist had been arrested in Colorado. They gave her an envelope with information on counseling for rape victims. They said her record would be expunged. And they handed her $500, a refund of her court costs. Marie broke down, experiencing, all at once, shock, relief and anger.

    Afterward, Shannon took Marie for a walk in the woods, and told her, “I’m so sorry I doubted you.” Marie forgave, immediately. Peggy, too, apologized. She now wishes she had never shared her doubts with police. “Because I feel that if I would have shut my mouth, they would have done their job,” she says.

    Marie sued the city and settled for $150,000. “A risk management decision was made,” a lawyer for Lynnwood told The Herald in Everett, Washington.

    Marie left the state, got a commercial driver’s license and took a job as a long-haul trucker. She married, and in October she and her husband had their second child. She asked that her current location not be disclosed.

    Before leaving Washington to restart her life, Marie made an appointment to visit the Lynnwood police station. She went to a conference room and waited. Rittgarn had already left the department, but Mason came in, looking “like a lost little puppy,” Marie says. “He was rubbing his head and literally looked like he was ashamed about what they had done.” He told Marie he was sorry — “deeply sorry,” Marie says. To Marie, he seemed sincere.

    Recently, Marie was asked if she had considered not reporting the rape.

    “No,” she said. She wanted to be honest. She wanted to remember everything she could. She wanted to help the police.

    “So nobody else would get hurt,” she said. “They’d be out there searching for this person who had done this to me.”

    Even the woman you're trying to bring up to make your point against reporting, she is saying, if she doesn't report it, someone else would get hurt.

    What Marie Adler went through was horrifying but she pushed on and exposed it, resulting in not just the criminal prosecution of her rapist, but in destroying **** attitudes that prevailed in that police department because of rape myths, and inspiring WA to update its rape laws. Her experience resulted in a $150k lawsuit and an outside review of the PD which concluded she was coerced into a false confession. The PD addressed this matter again after the Netflix docuseries. Months after this pulitzer reporting in Dec 2015, Washington enacted HB2530 enacting a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners program and a statewide rape kit and tracking system. "Washington has adopted all six pillars of rape kit reform and has cleared its backlog."

    https://www.endthebacklog.org/state/washington/

    Heads also rolled at the department, the police chief addressing the docuseries is not the same police chief who ordered the outside investigation. He was hired on in 2016.

    Upon learning about the circumstances surrounding this investigation in 2011, the former police chief immediately requested an independent outside review of this investigation, as well as a review of the policies and procedures associated with how the department investigated sexual assault complaints. Coincidentally, in 2011, I was part of the leadership team of the outside agency contacted to assist the department. I approved the request and designated the supervisor who conducted this important review for the department. 

    It is my understanding that the department took the results of this outside review very seriously and, in fact, implemented multiple changes in 2011 as a result of the lessons learned from the 2008 case. This included employing a victim-centered investigative philosophy and providing additional training in sexual assault investigations for detectives and patrol staff. Portions of these trainings were instructed by victim advocates who work directly in support of victims of sexual assault. 

    Additionally, the department currently employs a full-time crime victim coordinator to work directly with all crime victims, including victims of sexual assault. I am proud of the regionally recognized work performed by our crime victim coordinator and our strong emphasis on victim support. 

    I was hired as Lynnwood’s police chief in 2016. Although I was not an employee of this department in 2008 or 2011, I am no less distressed by the decisions and circumstances from 11 years ago that undoubtedly caused additional harm to the victim. This was not acceptable then and it would not be acceptable today. 

    What I can tell you with certainty is that when I arrived here three years ago, with the vision and support of our current mayor, I and my leadership team began moving the department through measurable cultural change. 

    Therefore yes, I think it is perfectly reasonable to tell victims of crimes to report crimes so nobody else gets hurt. Nothing changes if nothing is reported.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,725 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    a false narrative of putting the responsibility for men who commit rape, back on women and girls to prevent themselves from being raped by men, when it should be about preventing men from committing rape.

    The false narrative in this line ^ is that there is an either/or: preventing future rapes implies comprehensive strategies for doing so, which will invariably include reporting rapists (men or women rapists) who commit rape, so they are prevented from becoming repeat offenders. No one has suggested the responsibility lies with victims (men, women, boys, or girls) to prevent themselves from being raped by rapists (men or women). To the contrary the suggestion is that victims whom have already been victimized, report the crime so that the next victim doesn't happen, so that next victim doesn't bear a responsibility to "prevent themselves from being raped," so the rapist can be caught before it happens again. Regarding preventing a would-be first time offender from victimizing someone: no, nobody here I can see has suggested that the responsibility lies with their future or imminent victim.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,021 ✭✭✭✭volchitsa


    You're lying again. Here's what I said:

    Personally I would not advise any woman who has been raped to go to the police. I probably wouldn't advise her not to either, but I certainly would NOT do a guilt trip of the "don’t let the perpetrator get away with it as that further emboldens them" style that you suggest. 

    Maybe you can point out where I said I would tell someone NOT to report a rape? Here's the original post in case you're tempted to make up more lies:

    If you can't find what you're pretending I said in that post, you're welcome to look at any other post from me and use that instead. If you can find one where I've ever said that. 🙄

    Or you could just stop lying.

    ”I enjoy cigars, whisky and facing down totalitarians, so am I really Winston Churchill?” (JK Rowling)



  • Site Banned Posts: 1,745 ✭✭✭Raichų


    I would suggest just ban porn full stop but that’s perhaps a small bit authoritarian.

    I think having serious restrictions and urgently are necessary. Such as age verification procedures. It’s harder to buy 20 fags or a vape than it is for a young lad to watch horrific movies of women being subjected to what is effectively sexual assault.

    Education in schools about the adverse affects on the brain and body and exactly how women in porn are treated. I would bet my life 9/10 people don’t realise porn actresses are generally dependent or outright addicted to pain killers and other drugs because the toll on their bodies is that significant.

    I personally do not watch porn anymore full stop and haven’t for about a year and a half. The negative impacts it had on me both mentally and emotionally in regards to relationships etc was staggering and only realised after putting a stop to it.

    I know my partner became very frustrated by my expectations of our “activities” that were based solely on what I’d seen but without proper understanding that it’s not real. I think that’s the problem in a nutshell though, if you seen some fella doing 50 backflips in a row in a film you wouldn’t feel bad about yourself for not being able to it, because they didn’t either.

    But you’ve men who think a woman not being capable of swallowing an entire cucumber without gagging are broken somehow. It’s fcuked up completely.

    I wonder in some part if rapes and sexual assaults are perpetrated borne of a frustration that real life isn’t like porn and if they can’t have it consensually they’ll just force the subject.

    Of course cases such as this would suggest a dependency on certain genres of pornography that centred around rape or harm towards women that invariably resulted in acting out what they saw.

    Eventually just pulling the lad off yourself watching a woman “be raped” isn’t good enough. They take it further. It’s what happens but for some reason it’s never discussed.

    I imagine because porn is a topic no one wants to bring up. Not good enough.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,021 ✭✭✭✭volchitsa


    But I didn't say it was indicative of everywhere, so that's another straw man from you.

    It's indicative of the place where many of us are living, and whose laws are often used as a basis for laws in Ireland for most of the rest of posters. It's also likely not that different from France, which is the subject of the thread. It's very different from Scandinavian countries, where sex assault laws are generally much more in favour of the victim than the UK, Ireland or France.

    Now if you'd wanted to make a suggestion that maybe we shoudl bring in sex assault laws closer to those of Scandinavian countries, you might have been worth taking seriously. Instead you're playing some weird game of trying to win points and deflect from the actual subject.

    I'm done with you here unless you start acting in good faith.

    ”I enjoy cigars, whisky and facing down totalitarians, so am I really Winston Churchill?” (JK Rowling)



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,725 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    But yeah, it's my fault for saying that I would prioritise a rape victim's mental health over the lottery where 98% of rapists just walk way in the end anyway, leaving her to try to pick up the pieces of being re victimised a second time by the process.

    The solution to that is not to report more and more with the same pathetic rate of convictions.

    But hey, it's my fault for not telling a girl or a woman to put herself through all that, almost certainly for nothing.

    Okaaay.

    I'm not lying. These are your words. Even going as far as suggest that encouraging her to report would be akin to guilt-tripping.

    Message received though your mealy-mouthed response is well, I just won't tell her not to report it… which is another way of saying you want no part of being a solution to reducing sexual violence. You clearly make it seem as though through a conversation with yourself a victim would get the inference they should not report to police.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,219 ✭✭✭extra-ordinary_


    I notice you have nothing to say about the poster I was responding to, who said rape victims should be guilt tripped into reporting their rape on the grounds that other women will also be raped if they don't.

    lols…that's some mental gymnastics right there.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,021 ✭✭✭✭volchitsa


    I think given what we know about the women in porn films, who as you say are often drug addicted or even just trafficked, an outright ban should probably be considered. But given the worldwide nature of our access to the internet, that would probably be completely ineffective for as long as anonymous access is available to consumers.

    I'm interested in what you say about your own use of it. I'm possibly a bit older than you, so my sex education began back when it was quite difficult to get access to the magazines on the top shelf of the local shelf (because even over 18, a neighbour might see you buying them!) so I can't say it ever really had a effect on me. But then being a woman it wasn't targeted at me either. But initially it was something that I could find arousing, in small amounts.

    I've also seen enough of it to see trends that have developed over the years: there used to be an attempt at a story, whereas now there isn't, and more importantly, there's so much more cruelty towards women than there used to be that I can't watch porn any more. Not only does it no longer excite me, but I generally find it horrifying. I've actually seen clips where the woman is crying real tears - and it's easy to see why. How does any man find that arousing? I don't get it.

    ”I enjoy cigars, whisky and facing down totalitarians, so am I really Winston Churchill?” (JK Rowling)



  • Site Banned Posts: 1,745 ✭✭✭Raichų


    I’d really love to know where this idea I’m suggesting women who were raped should be “guilted” into reporting it to the authorities.

    I’ve literally read accounts from rape survivors who have stated their primary motivation for reporting was to ensure another woman is not harmed by the attacker.

    But I’m guilting victims.

    Okaaay.



  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,725 ✭✭✭✭Overheal




  • Site Banned Posts: 1,745 ✭✭✭Raichų


    no i definitely agree that an outright ban would definitely be circumvented one way or another and look the internet being the internet those who want it will find it. Of course porn like what the husband in this case was watching isn’t available on pornhub like!

    I can’t comment on how people find it attractive or get off to a woman suffering though, I suspect it’s because the porn industry seems to be framing women as objects for men’s desire. If you think about it that’s sort of the message they try to portray in the videos.

    I think any effort to limit the exposure to young teenagers especially is vital. When you imagine a developing brain being exposed to that sort of behaviour and ideas is not good. Like you said yourself (and same goes for myself) the scenes are at times truly horrific but when you’re an impressionable young lad, well you’re sort of fcuked then? Not to excuse it but I think more needs to be done to remind young people especially that this is not real and shouldn’t be reenacted or expected of anyone!

    porn is a bit like the WWE of sex, it’s meant for entertainment but unfortunately some people view it as the bar to reach. If my sex isn’t like porn then it’s wrong— but it’s actually porn that is wrong

    also I’m definitely familiar with the sexy mags you mention 🤣 in fairness those were often just women in sexy clothes (or none) and being provocative right, they were not subjected to physical torment or abuse like we see today.

    Like you said porn has evolved from a fairly harmless thing to quite violent and aggressive depictions of sex.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,021 ✭✭✭✭volchitsa


    Here's what you said:

    I would also like to finish off by asking anyone who’s been the victim of or suspects an incident of sexual assault towards another please contact the gardai and don’t let the perpetrator get away with it as that further emboldens them.

    Can you really not see that when a woman who has been raped decides she needs to go to the police in order to protect other women, that's one thing, but that someone telling her, as you suggested, that if she didn't go she was "further emboldening" rapists, that's quite another?

    The former is a very brave and worthwhile thing to do. As long as it's her own decision. The latter is an attempt at guilt-tripping/manipulating her by literally telling her that if she doesn't put herself through all that, it will be her fault if another woman is raped.

    I think it comes from not understanding just how retraumatising rape cases can be for the victim.

    I'm not entirely sure if the faux-outrage from some posters on here - not you TBF - busy pretending that I said I'd tell women NOT to report it (which TBH if another woman told me that's what she'd do, I'd understand her, and would not criticise) is because they really would be that tin-eared when faced with a close family member who'd been raped, or whether they just have some point to win on the internet. I hope it's the latter - for the women in their lives.

    ”I enjoy cigars, whisky and facing down totalitarians, so am I really Winston Churchill?” (JK Rowling)



  • Site Banned Posts: 1,745 ✭✭✭Raichų


    @volchitsa

    I won’t edit the post again to add this but it would be fair to say porn is little more than legalised prostitution.

    I remember a family guy (of all things) clip where two people were about to have sex, the man hands the woman money, cops burst in and the guy points to a video camera and says “no we’re shooting a porno” cops just say oh sorry, carry on.

    The whole “joke” as it were being of course that in the absence of a video camera paying a woman to have sex is illegal, but if it’s recorded then it’s just making porn. Fcuking wild but alas.



  • Posts: 832 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    As a subsequent step, maybe anonymous access to the internet in general needs to be limited in some way. Not perhaps posting one's real name (although I remember that that was commonplace initially) but perhaps that one's real identity needs to be available somewhere for instances where crimes are suspected.

    This should be the primary goal of any framework designed for online safety going forward, if they can engineer AI bots to deliver human like responses in any scenario maybe it's time they developed digital fingerprints for humans. I don't mean an IP address which can be easily overridden by a vpn but in a non fungible token unique digital identifier kind of way.



  • Site Banned Posts: 1,745 ✭✭✭Raichų


    I can appreciate it might come across as guilt tripping however unintentional.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,021 ✭✭✭✭volchitsa


    Thanks for that. I realise it was unintended, but I think it's important for people (men in particular) to acknowledge just what it requires of a woman to go through a rape trial and that it's not something that anyone else should push her into. Her own mental health has to come first.

    I'm concerned for example that Gisele Pelicot will be destroyed by the coming four months of trial - especially as I'm not at all certain that the accused, other than her husband, will get very severe punishments.

    Really really hope I'm wrong in that. She wouldn't be the first though.

    ”I enjoy cigars, whisky and facing down totalitarians, so am I really Winston Churchill?” (JK Rowling)



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,021 ✭✭✭✭volchitsa


    Fcuk yourself OP to be honest.

    I hadn't seen this before. Really?

    And there was me thinking maybe you were one of the OK ones on here. 🙄

    OK I'll remember that.

    ”I enjoy cigars, whisky and facing down totalitarians, so am I really Winston Churchill?” (JK Rowling)



  • Site Banned Posts: 1,745 ✭✭✭Raichų


    I wouldn’t take it too personally, but I’ll concede that was unnecessary nevertheless. I became quite annoyed indeed when it appeared you were expecting everyone but yourself to “fix” the problem.

    Evidently that’s not the case and I was wholly mistaken. I apologise for the comment above.



  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,021 ✭✭✭✭volchitsa


    Apology accepted. This is what happens when posters who are posting in bad faith deliberately misrepresent what is being said.

    Maybe next time read what the person has said rather than what another poster says they've said? 😁

    ”I enjoy cigars, whisky and facing down totalitarians, so am I really Winston Churchill?” (JK Rowling)



Advertisement