Mods please delete

MatildasMammy · 11-06-2023 06:10PM #1

Mods please delete.

Count Dracula · 11-06-2023 06:14PM

It is none of your business.

As a man he is fully entitled to have some fun before he gets married.

11-06-2023 06:14PM

Move on and mind your own business.

Why do you feel the need to interfere in the lives of people you are not friendly with?

For all you know, they have an open relationship.

Find a better hobby, and stay out of other people's business.

Buddy Bubs · 11-06-2023 06:23PM

If it was a friend bride to be you were protecting, you'd have a case. But not somebody you're not friendly with

delusiondestroyer · 11-06-2023 06:24PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058300429/cheating-fiance-dont-tell-the-bride

Expose it, "people" like that don't deserve to have their privacy respected and certainly don't deserve any protection.

And if they have an open relationship then it wont make a difference.

Augme · 11-06-2023 06:29PM

If you were the bride in this situatio , what would you want the other person to do? That's how I'd approach it. Me personally, I'm not sure I'd be arsed going through all the effort of sending a letter but I wouldn't discourage anyone from doing it either.

There will be no come back on you so nothing to lose really.

TheadoreT · 11-06-2023 06:29PM

So he knows you and openly flirted with you? It's not really anonymous then is it?

Or were you using someone elses pictures and catfishing(on a hookup app)? Because that's all sorts of messed up and very unfair on whoevers pictures you stole, who ironically could be in a relationship themselves.

Caranica · 11-06-2023 06:48PM

None of your business op. Stay out of other people's relationships.

Larbre34 · 11-06-2023 06:54PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120702504#Comment_120702504

No baby, that isn't how it works at all.

But regardless, it is none of your business OP. If the Bride were a close friend and confidante of yours, it would be a different story, but she isn't and so it is not.

I suspect somehow, that anyone who is with a person like that, cannot be completely naive as to that persons nature, perhaps succumbing to the ancient fallacy that people can change, or even less likely, be changed.

Walk away OP, as far as you can.

MatildasMammy · 11-06-2023 06:56PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120702550#Comment_120702550

We used to lie in the same apartment complex, So we only know each other to see really but he was pretty brazen. I'm just going to forget about it and leave them to it.

Hannibal_Smith · 11-06-2023 07:00PM

If you saw him cheating that'd be one thing - it'd still be none of your business unless they were your friend...

...But you actively sought him out and flirted with him knowing who he was. How's the fiancee to know your part in it was 'fact finding' and not you genuinely having an affair with her fiancé?

I don't know what the aim of your crusade was, but I think it could very badly back fire on you if you were to interfere any further.

11-06-2023 07:02PM

Leave well enough alone. People like you usually come out of this thing looking the worst and rightly so. Dont try and sell us your moral dilemma shite. You are doing out of jealousy or just looking to see someone else destroyed. You are not doing it for any good reason.

--------------------------------

@Gusser09 this is not an appropriate response in this forum, and ordinarily would pick up at least a 1 point warning. I can see you are already pretty close to a siteban on points, so will not add a pointed warning this time. But do not make a reply like this in the Personal Issues forum again. This is a very heavily moderated forum. Please read the charter if you would like to continue posting here.

TheadoreT · 11-06-2023 07:10PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120702642#Comment_120702642

Yeah he'll obviously know it was you who sent it then so there's no anonymity to the letter.

If you were the fiancee and found out a former neighbour sought out her partner and collected naked pictures of him she'd definitely think you have an agenda. You could put yourself in the line of her ire or misplaced anger.

Absolutely zero upside for you here. And you should probably explore why you went to the effort to expose him in the first place. Were you cheated on before and now on a crusade to out all cheaters? Therapy to work through whatever it is could be a better use of your time than the strange online activities.

YellowLead · 11-06-2023 07:24PM

None of your business what loosely connected acquaintances get up to. Seems like you enjoy drama? Perhaps set up a side business as a ‘honey trap’ and do this work for somebody who engages you to do so. Super odd that you went along with this ‘investigation’ off your own bat, relating to an ex neighbour - pure nosiness I’d say. To answer your question, say nothing.

BorneTobyWilde · 11-06-2023 08:01PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058300429/cheating-fiance-dont-tell-the-bride

Your receipts and evidence, if he sees it, which he will, leads back to you, He'll know it was you, of course if he doesn't know who you are , then that's fine, but he'll know it was ''' that girl he was talking to'' that exposed him

Tork · 11-06-2023 08:18PM

Whether to tip the fiancée off or not is a decision that's ultimately your choice. It seems you've decided to leave things be and that's for the best. Even though you think you could tip her off anonymously, are you 100% confident that's the case? You had quite a lot of interaction with this guy and may have told him things that'd led him back to you. You might not think they're important but you'd be surprised what people can let slip.

11-06-2023 09:29PM

Actually OP, if he sent you naked or intimate pictures of himself online, and you then sent them on to someone else without his consent, (even his fiancée) you would be committing a criminal offence.

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/justice/criminal-law/criminal-offences/sharing-of-intimate-images-without-consent/#l3d770

You could face a prison sentence of 1 and possibly up to 7 years.

Nicks delight · 12-06-2023 01:41AM

IF you are one hundred % sure, then I would just tell him out right hell or high water. you would save him a costly divorce. Maybe he knows and dont give a toss...takes all sorts. At least you done your bit, but you have to be able to back it up. Be careful as it could backfire if you cant prove it...but time will provide the evidence but you might no longer be his friend by the time he figures out you tell the truth. seen it. done it, experienced it. I would rather hear it on day -1 than after the wedding.

12-06-2023 04:20AM

Nothing wrong with telling, imo. Could be saving a woman from a life of heartache.

Not sure why people are claiming you should only tell if you're close to someone. The person telling you is pretty irrelevant if you're about to marry a serial cheater.

sugarman20 · 12-06-2023 07:34AM

If it was me I'd want to know. I say you should tell her, in the long run she will be happy you did.

12-06-2023 09:24AM

She does need to know this!

This is another form of abuse so why would you ignore it

because it involves another person?

TheadoreT · 12-06-2023 10:05AM

If you only know them to see how do you know when their wedding date is btw? People generally wouldn't post that date on social media would they? Even if they did it would point to a unhealthy interest in their lives if you went searching...

Something feels a little off about your motives here, be it feelings for the guy or unresolved issues from your own past about cheating.

12-06-2023 11:26AM

I still don't understand your motives here.

I don't buy the "I just want to save another woman from being cheated on" bs.

You claim you weren't even sure who this guy was, so you actively went and engaged him to "look from our details". And it sounds like you engaged in that for quite a while.

Seriously, who does that?!?

I think maybe you need to sort out whatever your own issues are, before involving yourself in anyone else's.

You also don't know what kind of trouble you might bring down on yourself.

Ever heard the phrase shooting the messenger?

12-06-2023 11:39AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120704727#Comment_120704727

And so bride wouldn't care if told.

Hannibal_Smith · 12-06-2023 11:55AM

As the OP has deleted their opening post, I'll close this off.

Thanks to all who took the time to offer advice.

HS

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