Am I being unreasonable ?

RetroEncabulator · 14-01-2023 5:07pm #1

A few years ago I hired a skip to do a major clear out of my house and went to go use it and discovered it had been 1/2 filled by a neighbour from about 10 doors way, who had basically emptied their entire garage and shed into it - washing machine, old sofa, bags of household waste, old mattress etc. I identified them because they had put rubbish in with their address on it.

I was really pissed off with the him and demanded he remove all the stuff or pay for the skip to be emptied, which would have cost about €370.

He removed the items (begrudgingly) and I haven’t really spoken to them since and frankly never had really anything to with them then prior to this either. I’ve barely any interaction with anyone who isn’t an immediate neighbour. It’s an urban street rather than a housing development.

Anyway, I had some other neighbour tell me I was being far too grumpy about it at the time … I think I just said “whatever” when he apologised 🤷‍♂️

Seems you just have to roll over in Ireland …

blade1 · 14-01-2023 5:09pm

He got off light imo.

Some people think they are the centre of the universe for some reason.

pgj2015 · 14-01-2023 5:10pm

You were too soft in my opinion. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to ask him to remove the stuff. I would have dumped it all back in his front garden.

circadian · 14-01-2023 5:11pm

GTFO. Happened to my ma a few years back. Fella a few doors down from her clogs the cul de sac up with vans and untaxed/broken down cars. She hired a skip and he dumped a van load of **** into it within about 30 minutes of arrival.

I looked out to catch him in the act and he couldn't believe I had the gall to tell him to either take his **** out or pay for the skip.

RetroEncabulator · 14-01-2023 5:12pm

He removed it that day. I was really direct and basically said otherwise I would report it as illegal dumping.

Just the other neighbour now seems to think I was being an asshole etc etc

The skip was on private property too.

circadian · 14-01-2023 5:15pm

The other neighbour would do best to mind their own business.

blade1 · 14-01-2023 5:16pm

Your other neighbour needs to keep his nose out of where it doesn't belong.

RetroEncabulator · 14-01-2023 5:17pm

I just find the mentality ridiculous. It’s like they are afraid to upset anyone even when they’re way out of line!

The comment was that “you’ve spent too long abroad. There’s no need to be that abrasive.” As I’m some kind of blow in that doesn’t know how to interact in polite society.

Seems to be all based on the fact that I don’t have an Irish accent. It’s some kind of mid Atlantic mess of Dublin & NYC and this was brought up yonks after the fact for no particular reason.

I mean I suppose I should let the neighbours take a spin on my car too or use the shower?

I think I’ll stick to just completely ignoring the neighbours !

Furze99 · 14-01-2023 5:22pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058279624/am-i-being-unreasonable

Seems like you carry a grudge a long time!!

blade1 · 14-01-2023 5:23pm

They are afraid to upset anyone but at the same time no bother upsetting you?

Chancers.

RetroEncabulator · 14-01-2023 5:26pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120108247#Comment_120108247

The whole thing was brought up by a neighbour walking past as I was taking down Xmas decorations this morning. I hadn’t even remembered the incident.

Same woman also gave me an ear full about how my “decorations are a bit tacky. We don’t really do that in Ireland.” (I’m from Ireland!!)

I decorated one damn tree with tiny LEDs and put up a wreath! Which apparently is “like Disneyland”

I actually feel like just going back to NY. Obviously not very welcome around here anyway.

I’m just going back to not interacting with them. Nothing more annoying than ‘curtain twitchers’

I’m looking forward to Halloween - preordering a projector and lawn ornaments.

Furze99 · 14-01-2023 5:35pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120108271#Comment_120108271

Must be a posh area you live in :) You see a lot worse/ better than that in many parts and obviously the neighbours approve there.

Putting up a Christmas wreath would most certainly be 'traditional' enough.

RetroEncabulator · 14-01-2023 5:39pm

It’s not particularly posh and other houses have lights up (even at this stage) and they look great and were far more extensive than what I had up.

I had her querying why I had visitors to the house and “are you working from home?” and implied it was “strange” that we were almost always in. Having a home office is a big part of why I picked the house!

”This is a quiet street…”

I’m not running a business from the house or having clients at the house. She just got all weird when friends have called over for lunch and stuff ?!

I’ll just ignore completely avoid interaction with her from this point on. Seems to be the best approach.

It’s that or move.

Thespoofer · 14-01-2023 5:43pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058279624/am-i-being-unreasonable

TBH I would have been fu@!ing fuming if this happened to me. Don't worry about it OP, he was out of order for dumping his stuff in especially without even asking.

pgj2015 · 14-01-2023 5:46pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120108348#Comment_120108348

Yeah I would blank the Neighbour like she wasn't even there in future.

timetogo1 · 14-01-2023 5:48pm

No you don't have to roll over in Ireland. Your neighbours are weird.

I've had a skip plenty of times and never had an issue with anybody trying to half fill it. I've had the odd neighbour ask if they can throw a few things in and if there's room when I'm finished, I don't care.

Similarly you could ree some of the Christmas decorations from space around here. If people put up none or loads, nobody seems to care much.

happyoutscan · 14-01-2023 5:50pm

F*ck both of them.

The 2nd neighbour was probably hoping to dump some of their sh*t as well and have the hump.

Seriously, who in the **** would just start throwing stuff into a skip that wasn't theirs?

RetroEncabulator · 14-01-2023 5:51pm

It’s bizarre. She clearly needs a hobby, other than looking out the windows with binoculars!

14-01-2023 5:52pm

IMO, Neighbour doesn’t talk to you, she talks to your solicitor. If there’s nothing that she’s willing to pay a solicitor to discuss, there’s nothing to f*cking discuss. End of. Busybodying wench can f*ck off.

RetroEncabulator · 14-01-2023 5:55pm

It’s not even a particularly neighbourly place. Nobody speaks to or knows anyone.

I’ll just have to put up a bigger fence.

blade1 · 14-01-2023 6:21pm

Good fences make good neighbours! 😄

amacca · 14-01-2023 6:25pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120108348#Comment_120108348

Id swear you were living on craggy island

The **** nerve, I was about to say are the neighbours all elderly and crabby but that's completely unfair. I lived in an area and it was the elderly neighbours were the lowest on the asshole spectrum even tipping over into decent at times.

The people you are dealing with seem to be complete fuckwits!

If that had happened to me I'd be on guard the next time and try to ignore but if a "this is a quiet street" type interaction came up I'd keep asking them questions in a level measured tone...along the lines of ....are you implying something?....do you not think those are perfectly acceptable christmas decorations? Out of curiosity what kind of decorations would you put up? Etc

In my mind that could potentially accomplish a number of things

(as long as you don't let yourself get carried away into a more heated discussion and have an out like a phonecall/saucepan on the cooker you have to get back to etc etc if it does looks like it's heading that way)

1) shows you aren't the least bit intimidated ...twats like that can have a bit of a bully in them

2) a lot of the time morons that engage with this type of bollockolgy are used to people being shocked/surprised and saying little in return meaning they themselves unable to come up with much of a reasonable explanation/answer and they usually start scurrying when someone asks them some straightforward on topic questions.... if they are too stupid to realise they have taken the bait and come back then put some icing on the cake and slowly repeat their in all likelihood ridiculous usually half mumbled answer back to them starting with "so you think......"

This can highlight how much of a gobshite they are as up to that point they usually haven't heard what they said aloud...its been going around in their head..

It can also be a little win for you snd establish a type of dominance or at least an unwillingness to tangle as readily with the barbed comments...they might pick other targets to pick petty non-existent bones with...in my experience it usually makes them very polite (to your face at least).....I'm assuming you are not dealing with gang members/thugs here (if you are then you should ignore my advice tbh)

I just have one final question however....is all this moron behaviour just a symptom and the lights/skip incident just an opening for them to air a grievance about something else you may or may not know about?

Eg: Was the house owned by a good neighbour they all really liked or something?

Was it ear marked for a son or daughter of someone on the road and since you outbidded them they've been quietly turning everyone's ear behind your back?

Was the house a distressed sale etc etc?.....is there something other than a bunch of squinting window malcontent busy bodies with too much time on their hands driving this is my question basically.

jackboy · 14-01-2023 6:32pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120108410#Comment_120108410

I would go with the opposite, a big over the top hello and greeting every single time. She wouldn’t be long backing off.

cajonlardo · 14-01-2023 6:49pm

https://youtu.be/Bl5us_7Myyg

There you go

gameoverdude · 14-01-2023 7:02pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120108157#Comment_120108157

Actually got a skip recently and a neighbour pulled up with a trailer.

Edit: not an item of theirs was put in. Did get called boss though which cheered me up.

14-01-2023 7:27pm

You were ENTIRELY reasonable. How effin DARE anyone fill anyone else’s skip without express permission or shared payment.

Decades ago when I was clearing out my house before a move I hired a skip and all neighbours respected it except for one. It wasn’t a big dump but it was several cases of empty bottles after a house party hosted by an unfriendly ignorant gourmet shop owner and his consultant obstetrician wife from across the road. They had just gad a house party. He could well have used his business disposal to rid himself of his bottles. Had he made the gesture of leaving a bottle or two of wine from his shop in our porch with a note “hope you don’t mind, I took the liberty of putting a few bottles in your skip, hope you enjoy these by way of a thank you” I would have thought that was cool. It was the cheeky way he did it annoyed me.

Some people were raised without conscience and think they can leech onto others without the slightest compunction. Drives me batty.

Mrs OBumble · 14-01-2023 7:28pm

Big ott friendliness to Mrs Nosy Bint .... and start calling her Hyacinth. She'll soon give up on you.

RetroEncabulator · 14-01-2023 7:31pm

When I moved in first she appeared at the front door, all super friendly and came in for a nose around.

She made snide comments about how ‘small’ the house was… and how “I didn’t realise it was quite so pokey” …

So yeah, I had her down as a weirdo from day one. Serious Mrs Bucket vibes, only slightly more D4 cringe accent.

Other than that it’s just been all sorts of nosey enquires when we bump into here, which isn’t very often.

14-01-2023 7:37pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120108271#Comment_120108271

I hope you had the Santa climbing up the front of the house 😂

Is your street in Norway by any chance? I sailed the coast of Norway one Christmas, entirely discreet white lights in every window etc…. Saw one set of coloured lights on the 7 day voyage.

RetroEncabulator · 14-01-2023 7:39pm

That’s the thing though, the neighbours aren’t exactly toning down the decorations. Most houses had trees decorated in the front garden or some kind of lights out. Someone even had Santa and snowmen on the lawn.

She just has it in for me, or maybe I’m the only person who’s dumb enough to respond to her.

The only solution is just stop interacting with the neighbours - seems that’s what most people do.

I’m going to go all out next year with the animatronics !!

RetroEncabulator · 14-01-2023 7:53pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120108910#Comment_120108910

Surprising tbh, you kinda need them in the northern winter to make the place less dismally dark. It’s fairly obvious that the whole tradition comes from trying to turning mid winter into a less grim looking time.

Am I being unreasonable ?

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